fullwaterpisces
@fullwaterpisces
11 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 3 · Posts: 1574 · Topics: 50
Will this be my closure? I guess.
Well last night I felt a gut feeling that I needed to send it… so I did polished a little bit, and so I did OH shit!!... For those who might not believe me or not, Im not expecting anything, I really don’t care reaction not a response not anything… just letting this load of my shoulders…
Strangely, finally for the very first time in a long time, I feel so good, I feel at peace, didn’t regret or hesitate for a second hitting send, I don’t feel the anxiety of getting any reply, not worried about offending her or getting her mad (just to reiterate I’m pretty sure I was not offensive or accusing, blaming or anything)… I know this doesn’t make me right, but just like everybody been saying about cancers, sometimes they are not aware of how their actions affect others, I’m aware that telling her my side of the story is not making me right about anything I’ve wrote… at the end I wish her the best in life… she was a part of my life… I love her unconditionally no matter what…
Even feel like a sense of relief and a little bit I will say… less say happier… a sense of lightness… could be this that soooooo needed closure, I’ve been begging for all this long? IDK… but today even my mood improved.
Strangely, finally for the very first time in a long time, I feel so good, I feel at peace, didn’t regret or hesitate for a second hitting send, I don’t feel the anxiety of getting any reply, not worried about offending her or getting her mad (just to reiterate I’m pretty sure I was not offensive or accusing, blaming or anything)… I know this doesn’t make me right, but just like everybody been saying about cancers, sometimes they are not aware of how their actions affect others, I’m aware that telling her my side of the story is not making me right about anything I’ve wrote… at the end I wish her the best in life… she was a part of my life… I love her unconditionally no matter what…
Even feel like a sense of relief and a little bit I will say… less say happier… a sense of lightness… could be this that soooooo needed closure, I’ve been begging for all this long? IDK… but today even my mood improved.
Posted by fullwaterpisces
I write because I feel like I finally hit the nail in the head…
Yep is me talking about the same cancer person, again… I don’t know who other Pisces or cancers have been feeling lately, but I’ve personally in the passed two weeks I’ve been going through a lot of shit… not emotionally just daily shit… workload is taking a big toll on my mood, but all random event that feel unfortunate… my car got wrecked in a parking lot, my so waited vacations trip got few hours after it started, my mom got into an accident and got hospitalized, and I spend my remaining free days of vacation taking care of her, I’ve been dealing with bunch of customer service crap almost everywhere and the list goes on an on… basically almost everything that has to go wrong has went wrong… I’m not depressed or sad is just I been feeling overwhelmed and almost like in hiding mode not really interested into hanging out in real life and online… “Hermit crab” style… in my home my own safe space.
With all that I had chance to finally have enough things to keep my mind occupied and distracted from missing my friend and feeling sorry for myself… because I’ve have not heard anything from her in about a month (she was out of the country, she informed me by txt for those who read my last post).
Until one night in the hospital, out of boredom I went to FB, just to flip my news feed and through mutual friends (tagged pics) I’ve saw her on her home town hanging out with them she invited them over there, just like she did to me last year, with the exception of they didn’t got dished and she did spend time showing them her hometown. That crushed me… not going to lie… all those bad emotions and memories hit me in the face again… but with all those other things happening in my life I didn’t had enough time to mop around…
A couple months ago, I’ve wrote her a “no-send” letter… where I’ve wrote all those things that I wanted to tell her all this long… not a good riddance or anything… more like the way her actions and attitude made me feel and all those things, very direct, no sugar coated but also in a compassionate way not insulting, blaming, pointing fingers, accusing, or anything similar… as a personal exercise, but then I felt the need for her to know that. Is not going to change an
😭 moonbutter your comment got chopped up... and also stupid Dxp cannot let me see your msg when im online
Everytime I see that Emoji crying I crack, he is sooo cute.
Does this mean you'll stop posting on the Cancer board?
Posted by MsFiskThat question has been asked here, and avoided.
Did you ever had sex with this girl? I'm not trolling, it's a serious question. I have never in my life seen a woman obsess this much over a "friend."
Not speaking for all Cancers, but I don't think you'll get an honest answer (But I'm thinking it is a closet lesbian crush)
Posted by MsFiskYou must be new on dxp.
Did you ever had sex with this girl? I'm not trolling, it's a serious question. I have never in my life seen a woman obsess this much over a "friend."
HAI!
Posted by MsFiskDon't worry I've been asked that so many times in this place that it stop bothering me anymore.
Did you ever had sex with this girl? I'm not trolling, it's a serious question. I have never in my life seen a woman obsess this much over a "friend."
To answer to your question NO, we never had sex, or make out or kissed or anything romantic or anything similar... don't you ever had a best friend? if so and if you care for her as you should you would probably understand how hard is to lose your person. She was my best friend, like my sister, my confident... we were pretty close at some point... but just it... I'm damn sure to the day, that I'm not into girls...
Have you ever read that sometimes friendship's breakups hurt more than romantic relationships— Best friends are people you trust to opened up to in a level that you probably wont open to other people, you share moments, experiences, emotions, etc... I supported her during a very rough time in her life, and she did too during a rough time in mine... stories like mine are all over internet even in the huffington post (LOL, Im pretty sure I've read tons of them at some point)
I'm might sound obsess to this situation because, I've valued and cared for her as if she was part of my family, and I've missed her in my life (when she was nice). she was like my Christina Yang to Meredith Gray...
Anyrays... I guess after all this time I've been thinking that regardless the kind of relationship people are in... it always tear us apart when we feel in a certain way and those feelings are not reciprocated, in this case my friendship wasn't that appreciated... she made me believed she felt the same way about our friendship... but just in only in words, not in actions and thats a red flag right there...
hope this clear your question..
Posted by CancerOnTheCuspoh you grumpy cat... sorry to disappoint you but Not really, I really love cool crabs around here... jus like my boo Crabriot she is fun as hell... I've bet you are more annoyed by other users more than me... but I'm not a golden coin, not everybody has to like me... I can live with that, as you probably could coexisting with me.
Does this mean you'll stop posting on the Cancer board?
If not well so sorry dear.
I understand the OP because I had the same friendship with my ex Cap and it really hurt when I had to end our friendship. I was the one who walked away but I had allowed her to betray me over and over again and finally I'd had enough. It took me years to get over that friendship and a few months ago I reached out to her and we met up a couple times as I was wanted to see if we could start over but things were not the same. She was still the jealous and envious person she was when we were friends before. So I deleted her contact info once and for all and I don't feel an inch of guilt from cutting her out my life and it just reinforced I was justified in doing what I did back then.
OP the Cancer is gone and things will not ever be what they were, so this is indeed probably the most of a closure you're going to get. We don't like dealing with confrontation so she's not going to confront you about anything. It works better for us to just move and acted like you never existed.
OP the Cancer is gone and things will not ever be what they were, so this is indeed probably the most of a closure you're going to get. We don't like dealing with confrontation so she's not going to confront you about anything. It works better for us to just move and acted like you never existed.
Posted by Cancer LadyThanks for your understanding... I completely understand... Im fully aware of your last comment about confrontation...
I understand the OP because I had the same friendship with my ex Cap and it really hurt when I had to end our friendship. I was the one who walked away but I had allowed her to betray me over and over again and finally I'd had enough. It took me years to get over that friendship and a few months ago I reached out to her and we met up a couple times as I was wanted to see if we could start over but things were not the same. She was still the jealous and envious person she was when we were friends before. So I deleted her contact info once and for all and I don't feel an inch of guilt from cutting her out my life and it just reinforced I was justified in doing what I did back then.
OP the Cancer is gone and things will not ever be what they were, so this is indeed probably the most of a closure you're going to get. We don't like dealing with confrontation so she's not going to confront you about anything. It works better for us to just move and acted like you never existed.
and no worries I don't take it personal msfisk, a lot of people post things here that I read and stop halfway through because I get uninterested... like I've said it stop bothering me that people ask me those things. 🙂
no worries canceronthecurp... changing perceptions is not in my list of things to do in my lifetime...
Posted by fullwaterpiscesAww damn! I was just saying I am sorry you had a rough couple months, and I hope your mom is ok? But what I really wanted to mention was how happy I am for you to find closure with your friend and move on. Hopefully your life becomes more positive now 🙂 Also, interestingly enough I had a falling out with a friend of mine w/heavy Piscean placements...hmm
😭 moonbutter your comment got chopped up... and also stupid Dxp cannot let me see your msg when im online
^^^^ thank you Dear moonbutter... mom is doing ok now... she will be on bed rest for two months... but she is in good care now!!
Sorry to hear about your friend... since I don't know her... I don't know if she is a sincere person or not... hopefully nothing that cannot be resolved by communicating... not all pisces are cool people just as not all cancer are evil...
If this is my closure, I've learn a lesson... of stop keeping things for my self... I feel like the rainy days are about to stop... they have to, just like in tarot and the wheel of fortune card, life is a cycle... what comes up must come down and all this misfortune period shall end... definitely I feel more positive than before, I've learn that, negativity is a bad habit it takes time to change... but it take time and practice 😉
PS I think dxpnet has something agains you in my threads Lulz... definitely cannot quote you or see in your msg when im online! but Ive worked around the system.
Sorry to hear about your friend... since I don't know her... I don't know if she is a sincere person or not... hopefully nothing that cannot be resolved by communicating... not all pisces are cool people just as not all cancer are evil...
If this is my closure, I've learn a lesson... of stop keeping things for my self... I feel like the rainy days are about to stop... they have to, just like in tarot and the wheel of fortune card, life is a cycle... what comes up must come down and all this misfortune period shall end... definitely I feel more positive than before, I've learn that, negativity is a bad habit it takes time to change... but it take time and practice 😉
PS I think dxpnet has something agains you in my threads Lulz... definitely cannot quote you or see in your msg when im online! but Ive worked around the system.
Posted by fullwaterpiscesThat is good to hear fullwaterpisces, I feel the sun will be shining on you from now on for awhile, you have earned it. Stupid DXP site sometimes haha.
^^^^ thank you Dear moonbutter... mom is doing ok now... she will be on bed rest for two months... but she is in good care now!!
Sorry to hear about your friend... since I don't know her... I don't know if she is a sincere person or not... hopefully nothing that cannot be resolved by communicating... not all pisces are cool people just as not all cancer are evil...
If this is my closure, I've learn a lesson... of stop keeping things for my self... I feel like the rainy days are about to stop... they have to, just like in tarot and the wheel of fortune card, life is a cycle... what comes up must come down and all this misfortune period shall end... definitely I feel more positive than before, I've learn that, negativity is a bad habit it takes time to change... but it take time and practice 😉
PS I think dxpnet has something agains you in my threads Lulz... definitely cannot quote you or see in your msg when im online! but Ive worked around the system.
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With all that I had chance to finally have enough things to keep my mind occupied and distracted from missing my friend and feeling sorry for myself… because I’ve have not heard anything from her in about a month (she was out of the country, she informed me by txt for those who read my last post).
Until one night in the hospital, out of boredom I went to FB, just to flip my news feed and through mutual friends (tagged pics) I’ve saw her on her home town hanging out with them she invited them over there, just like she did to me last year, with the exception of they didn’t got dished and she did spend time showing them her hometown. That crushed me… not going to lie… all those bad emotions and memories hit me in the face again… but with all those other things happening in my life I didn’t had enough time to mop around…
A couple months ago, I’ve wrote her a “no-send” letter… where I’ve wrote all those things that I wanted to tell her all this long… not a good riddance or anything… more like the way her actions and attitude made me feel and all those things, very direct, no sugar coated but also in a compassionate way not insulting, blaming, pointing fingers, accusing, or anything similar… as a personal exercise, but then I felt the need for her to know that. Is not going to change anything, is done and over.