Cap man has me irate!

First off let me say this is mostly venting. So...I told myself New Year's Eve that if I didn't get some kind of contact saying happy new year from this guy then I was done. Because in my head if I mean something to you common sense would say you wo
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  • ladylibra21
    Lovingly Confused, Libra/Scorp Cusp Sun, Merc, Mars, Cancer Moon, Sag Venus
    from CT
    Posted by Roana
    Posted by ladylibra21
    First off let me say this is mostly venting.

    So...I told myself New Year's Eve that if I didn't get some kind of contact saying happy new year from this guy then I was done. Because in my head if I mean something to you common sense would say you would wish me a happy new year. So he didn't so I started on my journey of letting go on New Year's Day. I get back to work and this dude is all in my face like constantly in my face like more than he normally is. I'm not paying him much attention because my new resolve is to move past this until I'm able to become friends with him. Near the end of the day he starts whispering stuff under his breath after he passes me. So I cornered him and I say what are you saying under your breath and he says don't worry about it laughing. So yesterday he comes in at the end of the day and we are talking and he is acting strange talking about random things like death a subject he normally stays away from. We also talked about him being passive aggressive and he said he would try to be more cheerful and not be passive aggressive. So sensing that he may need to talk after he made a point to tell me he was just going to sit at home and do nothing that night (as if he was bummed about it) I non-chalanly say let's go out and do karaoke or something and he changes the subject then leaves.

    So I tell myself OK let's try this one last time try to ask him to hang out somewhere to see how he reacts. An hour later after I sent a text saying

    "But no seriously what are you doing tonight? Let's go get a drink. Drinks on me. I won't make you do karaoke lol"

    He replied: "Hey I just got home I would love to just not tonight I'm in a funk extra tired And yes no karaoke."

    He use the same excuse he always uses. So I ignored him didn't even write back. He always seems to have time for everybody else but me.

    So I was resigned to just let him go and work with him until I find another job. I was to show no emotion about the whole thing today. However, he comes in at the end of the day And says did you go out to karaoke. I look at him and all of my anger returns and I robotically say "No, no I did not. " I walked away and when I come back he had left my desk. He proceeded to walk by 3 times as I ignored him and worked on my time sheet (which I hate doing so you know I was pissed if I'd rather do my time sheet than talk to him).
    One time he walked by, he pretended to trip up the stairs and made a big commotion about it limping past my desk to see if I would respond to it and ask if he was OK, I did not ask.

    Then when I got up to ask people if they needed help I came back to my desk and my phone had a sticky note on it facedown I picked it up and there was a heart on the sticky note.

    I am so mad ?. For someone who doesn't want butter to do with me, who doesn't make me a priority, you want to leave hearts on my phone? If he doesn't like me in that way why is he sending me mixed signals like that!

    Is he treetrunking with my head?

    I'm not sure what to do I haven't called him because I'm afraid I'll cuss him out. I could go in tomorrow and treat him like we are just co workers and not friends but I tired that today and failed.

    Sigh I need wine for whine tonight. Bottoms up ?.


    OMG! I did similar post about Capricorn man in here. About how he treetrunks with my emotions. On one hand when face to face is sweet, and wants my attention and so on (we work together too). But the moment I am not with him me offering to meet is always met with some excuse. I even asked him directly and I said it's cool if he doesnt like me, that I just want to know. To which he managed to answer completely ignoring the question. I DON'T understand. He is the first man in my entire life that makes me soooo treetrunking confused... If I write to him he answers and so on but he never writes first. On other hand he is acting almost like a boyfriend would act when we are at work, or during events. And every time I promise myself ok I am done, I will just act like he is one of many coworkers when I see him, he does something that makes me go wow. I just don't get it... And when I offer to meet up outside the work he never says no directly, he says we could some time, or yeah maybe, when I will be less busy... It's infuriating. By nature and in life I have one skill and is to "read people" in like few minutes of talking. But I just can't read him. Which adds another layer of GOD treetrunkING DAMMIT Big Grin I just don't understand how can someone be soooo sweet and considerate, and helpfull and so on and than switch to the state as if I don't exist... WHat adds another layer of treetrunked up is that sooo many coworkers think that me and him are a couple, and he never denies that. And yet I am left the one to say noo nooo we have never met outside the work so we are not couple (which makes me feel pain in my heart). Sad

    Anyhow so trust me I know how you feel... And I think at this rate I will loose my sanity slowly Big Grin
    click to expand


    I feel your pain girl and it is probably just that you work together. When I talked to my Cap tonight he gave me 3 reasons why he hasn't made a move yet and work was the first one.
  • Roana
    28 years old female from Lithuania
    Posted by ladylibra21
    First off let me say this is mostly venting.

    So...I told myself New Year's Eve that if I didn't get some kind of contact saying happy new year from this guy then I was done. Because in my head if I mean something to you common sense would say you would wish me a happy new year. So he didn't so I started on my journey of letting go on New Year's Day. I get back to work and this dude is all in my face like constantly in my face like more than he normally is. I'm not paying him much attention because my new resolve is to move past this until I'm able to become friends with him. Near the end of the day he starts whispering stuff under his breath after he passes me. So I cornered him and I say what are you saying under your breath and he says don't worry about it laughing. So yesterday he comes in at the end of the day and we are talking and he is acting strange talking about random things like death a subject he normally stays away from. We also talked about him being passive aggressive and he said he would try to be more cheerful and not be passive aggressive. So sensing that he may need to talk after he made a point to tell me he was just going to sit at home and do nothing that night (as if he was bummed about it) I non-chalanly say let's go out and do karaoke or something and he changes the subject then leaves.

    So I tell myself OK let's try this one last time try to ask him to hang out somewhere to see how he reacts. An hour later after I sent a text saying

    "But no seriously what are you doing tonight? Let's go get a drink. Drinks on me. I won't make you do karaoke lol"

    He replied: "Hey I just got home I would love to just not tonight I'm in a funk extra tired And yes no karaoke."

    He use the same excuse he always uses. So I ignored him didn't even write back. He always seems to have time for everybody else but me.

    So I was resigned to just let him go and work with him until I find another job. I was to show no emotion about the whole thing today. However, he comes in at the end of the day And says did you go out to karaoke. I look at him and all of my anger returns and I robotically say "No, no I did not. " I walked away and when I come back he had left my desk. He proceeded to walk by 3 times as I ignored him and worked on my time sheet (which I hate doing so you know I was pissed if I'd rather do my time sheet than talk to him).
    One time he walked by, he pretended to trip up the stairs and made a big commotion about it limping past my desk to see if I would respond to it and ask if he was OK, I did not ask.

    Then when I got up to ask people if they needed help I came back to my desk and my phone had a sticky note on it facedown I picked it up and there was a heart on the sticky note.

    I am so mad ?. For someone who doesn't want butter to do with me, who doesn't make me a priority, you want to leave hearts on my phone? If he doesn't like me in that way why is he sending me mixed signals like that!

    Is he treetrunking with my head?

    I'm not sure what to do I haven't called him because I'm afraid I'll cuss him out. I could go in tomorrow and treat him like we are just co workers and not friends but I tired that today and failed.

    Sigh I need wine for whine tonight. Bottoms up ?.


    OMG! I did similar post about Capricorn man in here. About how he treetrunks with my emotions. On one hand when face to face is sweet, and wants my attention and so on (we work together too). But the moment I am not with him me offering to meet is always met with some excuse. I even asked him directly and I said it's cool if he doesnt like me, that I just want to know. To which he managed to answer completely ignoring the question. I DON'T understand. He is the first man in my entire life that makes me soooo treetrunking confused... If I write to him he answers and so on but he never writes first. On other hand he is acting almost like a boyfriend would act when we are at work, or during events. And every time I promise myself ok I am done, I will just act like he is one of many coworkers when I see him, he does something that makes me go wow. I just don't get it... And when I offer to meet up outside the work he never says no directly, he says we could some time, or yeah maybe, when I will be less busy... It's infuriating. By nature and in life I have one skill and is to "read people" in like few minutes of talking. But I just can't read him. Which adds another layer of GOD treetrunkING DAMMIT Big Grin I just don't understand how can someone be soooo sweet and considerate, and helpfull and so on and than switch to the state as if I don't exist... WHat adds another layer of treetrunked up is that sooo many coworkers think that me and him are a couple, and he never denies that. And yet I am left the one to say noo nooo we have never met outside the work so we are not couple (which makes me feel pain in my heart). Sad

    Anyhow so trust me I know how you feel... And I think at this rate I will loose my sanity slowly Big Grin
  • pinkbird03
    Cancer 💕
    Posted by TrulyTaurusWoman


    It's hard when we only text. I just don't understand how we can talk everyday and build a friendship, but he doesn't want to hang out or date again. He doesn't want to date anyone right now is what he told me. But he lives right down the road. I drive by his house to go to the stores every week. It's just a very different relationship for me. I do feel like ladylibra also deals with the same exact type of relationship. It's not moving.


    Did he say he does not want to hang out or date? If he said that to me, I would believe him and keep shopping for Mr. Right.

    We always talk about doing stuff, going to certain bars, out to dinner, aquarium, ice skating, etc. but we haven't in months. I know he's been very busy and also depressed. I feel a connection with him, but i know he's not interested by his lack of effort. I feel like saying something to him, but no words seem right. Perhaps silence is better. I'm no longer waiting for him though. I went out Friday night and talked to four different guys. I'm also on match.com. I'm a bit picky, which is my problem. It's hard because this cap was very special to me in a lot of ways that no other guy has been to me. I'll move on someday...


  • It's hard when we only text. I just don't understand how we can talk everyday and build a friendship, but he doesn't want to hang out or date again. He doesn't want to date anyone right now is what he told me. But he lives right down the road. I drive by his house to go to the stores every week. It's just a very different relationship for me. I do feel like ladylibra also deals with the same exact type of relationship. It's not moving.


    Did he say he does not want to hang out or date? If he said that to me, I would believe him and keep shopping for Mr. Right.
  • ladylibra21
    Lovingly Confused, Libra/Scorp Cusp Sun, Merc, Mars, Cancer Moon, Sag Venus
    from CT
    Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
    OP, never chase a man.

    If a man wants more than a friendship with a woman (regardless of sun sign) he will make it CRYSTAL CLEAR and with no doubts.

    If there was no clarity then obviously it was a friendship that you could let build to see if a friendship can turn into a relationship and get to know the person first.

    But you are a typical air sign and you guys always rush in...

    He is an earth sign and a cap man at that... Cap men like Taurus like being in control and in charge. I don't think they are a sign who likes to be chased... they do the chasing... they will let you know what they want and if they want you and what their intentions are towards you.

    Another word of caution, never butter on your own doorstep.. ie work romances should not be occurring. You work together and already it is causing a situation and you are not even in a relationship.. The cap man has probably been working out the scenarios in his mind and he would not want anything threatening his work life. Earth sign people take their work and working conditions very seriously. I suggest you leave things as they are : a WORK COLLEAGUE.


    Thanks that gave me loads of confidence. I think I really just need to hear No. I have other wonderful people who want to date me but I can't move on until I hear no. I have tried.
  • pinkbird03
    Cancer 💕
    Hope you make progress today and feel better about knowing which direction your relationship is heading! Good luck! ?
  • ladylibra21
    Lovingly Confused, Libra/Scorp Cusp Sun, Merc, Mars, Cancer Moon, Sag Venus
    from CT
    @Cspri-Sun today is the day we "talk" he has been talking yet guarded the last 2 days so I am so nervous. So I was thinking about starting off like this: "So as I am sure you have figured out, I have feelings for you and I was wondering if you could see this eventually being more than a friendship? If not that is fine we can still be friends because I want you in my life, but I need to know which direction I should move with myself. If I need to move on that is important for me to know." Ugh I haven't even seen him and I feel so exposed already!
  • pinkbird03
    Cancer 💕
    Posted by Virgiene
    Posted by pinkbird03
    Funny. I'm feeling frustrated too tonight with my cap. I feel a strong connection with him yet I feel a million miles apart.

    The heart note was very, very sweet. I think he does like you!

    But how do you get a cap guy to commit???


    I am on the same boat with you, pink?
    click to expand


    Aww I'm sorry Sad what's going on?
  • Posted by pinkbird03
    Funny. I'm feeling frustrated too tonight with my cap. I feel a strong connection with him yet I feel a million miles apart.

    The heart note was very, very sweet. I think he does like you!

    But how do you get a cap guy to commit???


    I am on the same boat with you, pink?
  • pinkbird03
    Cancer 💕
    Posted by ladylibra21
    Posted by pinkbird03
    Posted by ladylibra21
    Posted by pinkbird03
    Posted by ladylibra21
    Posted by Capri-sun
    Keep us posted. I'm interested to know if you guys get a chance to talk or not. Hug


    He just called me and we talked I apologize for throwing a tantrum he wanted to meet up but we decided to rescheduled for Wednesday and work out the details Monday. I was so surprised he called.


    He cares! ?
    Now it's time for you to figure out exactly what to say. I think you might have a bf soon!!

    lol don't get my hopes up he probably wanted to just follow up and talk about it because I hardly ever get upset and he doesn't want me to be upset with him.


    I think it's a great time to discuss your feelings. Don't you? Tell him what you want too.


    Very true I am so scared though I am terrified I know that I have to say everything that I need to say but it was just like even on the phone today when I apologize I told him you know that I can be an emotional person and I just hit emotional overload and it came out the way it did. He has to know what this is about.
    click to expand


    It's completely understandable. But you need to know where you stand with him and if there's a possibility to have a future with him. The guessing game is over.
  • ladylibra21
    Lovingly Confused, Libra/Scorp Cusp Sun, Merc, Mars, Cancer Moon, Sag Venus
    from CT
    Posted by pinkbird03
    Posted by ladylibra21
    Posted by pinkbird03
    Posted by ladylibra21
    Posted by Capri-sun
    Keep us posted. I'm interested to know if you guys get a chance to talk or not. Hug


    He just called me and we talked I apologize for throwing a tantrum he wanted to meet up but we decided to rescheduled for Wednesday and work out the details Monday. I was so surprised he called.


    He cares! ?
    Now it's time for you to figure out exactly what to say. I think you might have a bf soon!!

    lol don't get my hopes up he probably wanted to just follow up and talk about it because I hardly ever get upset and he doesn't want me to be upset with him.


    I think it's a great time to discuss your feelings. Don't you? Tell him what you want too.
    click to expand


    Very true I am so scared though I am terrified I know that I have to say everything that I need to say but it was just like even on the phone today when I apologize I told him you know that I can be an emotional person and I just hit emotional overload and it came out the way it did. He has to know what this is about.
  • pinkbird03
    Cancer 💕
    Posted by ladylibra21
    Posted by pinkbird03
    Posted by ladylibra21
    Posted by Capri-sun
    Keep us posted. I'm interested to know if you guys get a chance to talk or not. Hug


    He just called me and we talked I apologize for throwing a tantrum he wanted to meet up but we decided to rescheduled for Wednesday and work out the details Monday. I was so surprised he called.


    He cares! ?
    Now it's time for you to figure out exactly what to say. I think you might have a bf soon!!

    lol don't get my hopes up he probably wanted to just follow up and talk about it because I hardly ever get upset and he doesn't want me to be upset with him.
    click to expand


    I think it's a great time to discuss your feelings. Don't you? Tell him what you want too.
  • ladylibra21
    Lovingly Confused, Libra/Scorp Cusp Sun, Merc, Mars, Cancer Moon, Sag Venus
    from CT
    Posted by pinkbird03
    Posted by ladylibra21
    Posted by Capri-sun
    Keep us posted. I'm interested to know if you guys get a chance to talk or not. Hug


    He just called me and we talked I apologize for throwing a tantrum he wanted to meet up but we decided to rescheduled for Wednesday and work out the details Monday. I was so surprised he called.


    He cares! ?
    Now it's time for you to figure out exactly what to say. I think you might have a bf soon!!
    click to expand

    lol don't get my hopes up he probably wanted to just follow up and talk about it because I hardly ever get upset and he doesn't want me to be upset with him.
  • pinkbird03
    Cancer 💕
    Posted by ladylibra21
    Posted by Capri-sun
    Keep us posted. I'm interested to know if you guys get a chance to talk or not. Hug


    He just called me and we talked I apologize for throwing a tantrum he wanted to meet up but we decided to rescheduled for Wednesday and work out the details Monday. I was so surprised he called.
    click to expand


    He cares! ?
    Now it's time for you to figure out exactly what to say. I think you might have a bf soon!!
  • ladylibra21
    Lovingly Confused, Libra/Scorp Cusp Sun, Merc, Mars, Cancer Moon, Sag Venus
    from CT
    Posted by Capri-sun
    Keep us posted. I'm interested to know if you guys get a chance to talk or not. Hug


    He just called me and we talked I apologize for throwing a tantrum he wanted to meet up but we decided to rescheduled for Wednesday and work out the details Monday. I was so surprised he called.
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