Cappy girl attracting jerks

I always attract men who bluntly tell me that they just want sexual adventures. I am such a reserved and inexperienced person. I can't even directly look at a man's eyes esp. if I feel attracted. Why do these types find me and they are so direct with me? I am sure that I do not send mixed signals as I am afraid of any irresponsible relationships with men.

Check your venus sign. If its in scorpio maybe that explains it.

Thanks for your kind reply Inana. I am not an expert on astrology. So, I found out that my ascendant is Sagittarius. Venus in Capricorn. Moon in Taurus. Mars and Mercury in Aquarius. I guess venus in capricorn does not make me attractive to those kind of men. Do you think it is my rising sign or Aqua effect which is the problem?

Oh you have a gift...The gift of attraction, don't knock it but maybe it's your Sagitarius ascendent, I have heard many say Sagi's attract people quite easily and get lots of attention from the opposite sex.

Hi Tiki, I am reading that capricorns are reserved &stable while sagittarius are the opposite! Saggis are always looking for adventures. They are attracted to many people at the same time as they think they can learn something from anybody. So, they are gifted in the sense that they can see the beauty in everyone. Yet, this becomes a curse if you are Cappy with a moon in Taurus seeking stability and trust in relationships. This means there is an ongoing war between stability and adventure in me. I am clingy to my Leo partner and love him for his predictability and thrustworthiness but at the same time find him really boring. Those perverts must be seeing the 'pervert saggy' hidden under the cold-blooded looks of the cappy LOL!

LMAO@Those perverts must be seeing the 'pervert saggy' hidden under the cold-blooded looks of the cappy LOL!

I think your on to something 😄

Hey CappyLuv, nice to hear from someone who has both Saggi and Cappy. Could you suggest me how to deal with this inner struggle between Cappy craving for stability and Saggi's passion for adventure?

Thanks a lot CappyLuvv! That's been really helpful. I am going through the same thing and my CAppy side sees my Saggy side as the dark passenger (in Dexter's words) LOL. Best of luck! I'll definitely check your thread.
XxX

my cap or sag doesnt attract anyone

I'm sure many are attracted to you but you might probably find reading the signs a bit difficult ?? as females we can feel 'it' more quickly I guess. (If the guy is not a mentalist and does not play excessive mindgames)

my scorpio attracts everyone...lol. i like wild girls in the bedroom, but stable in public. hmmm.....

you mean a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets? isnt that what we all want?

it seems that it is not about sign. Is it about men's age? or nature LOL. I always knew that most of the men are jerks (no offense :p) but they are getting more and more blunt 🙂 I wonder why they've changed strategy and asking almost directly to get sex. Is it bcs of me or is it abt them? If it's bcs of my attitudes, I'll try to change them in order to prevent any pervert invites but I really dont think that it is abt me.

I will say this. Nobody has been that blunt with me, but I can tell when someone wants to sleep with me rather than wanting a relationship.

Im starting to wonder if it's partly due to how I come across?! When guys walk by they always tell me I should smile more.

I'm starting to notice the women that have and keep men exude more of a positive energy. Always smiling and in a cheery mood. When a man approach them it "seem" they are interested in the whole package because her inviting personality seems to offer that. Whereas, I seem uninviting, yet sexy or sexual, which the guy will instantly pick up on that energy and initially want that from me since they can't see by my poker face what else I have to offer.

This is just what I've observed about myself and the guys that approach me.

wow such a cynical but interesting comment 🙂

this thread gives me a chuckle now

Ha! I don't mean to sound cynical.

Its just that I sometimes feel like that nice brick house on the street. Just because a guy has a key doesn't mean he has the key that fits. I'm just looking for someone with the key to unlock the door because I'm not opening my door for anybody. However, since guys will be guys that won't stop them from standing at the door and knocking still wanting to get a peek inside LoL.

I can honestly say that I offer nothing but that brick wall. Of course a guy will be anxious to come in, and even if I let him in if all the doors are closed inside the house will he want to stay? I'm the type where a lock and key will be needed for every room, *sigh*

I'm way off topic, but I'm just trying to say, in a nutshell to try opening up a little more. Some guys are really crappy these days, but if this approach keep reaccuring, then maybe its time to look within and make sure you are not just being that pretty brick house that's closed. Have enough doors or windows open to distract these guys from focusing ALL of their attention on ways to get in. If any of this makes any sense.

Its late y'all, bare with me LOL!

Inana, I loved the house metaphore Thanks a lot! 🙂

i want a lasting relationship....i have standards. lol. im friendly with women...flirt alot...but id prefer a relationship before sex or snything like that. just how i am.

Hi Happy Cappy, it's the same here. it must be Cap thing.

maybe. we are traditional. and for one thing i do not revolve around the world. i dont follow the crwd. i find it discusting if fellow men discuss thier sexual conquests to me. it should be a personal thing and not so open. also i like treating women with respect. i wont go up to one and say i want to ravish you (who knows it might turn some on...i have that attraction) but i prefer a relationship...commitment. and for that reason im alone right now...been so for most of my life. waiting for miss perfect (nothing is perfect but she will be to me) to come across my path. i dont know my type of woamn...because what i want is pretty broad lol. someone to love and take care of i guess. someone who appreciates my loving heart and my goofyness. lol. who accepts me for me...and ill do the same.. she will have to put up with my protectiveness though...and like most cap males im fatherly with younger friends lol. overbearing maybe...lol. thats another cap thing...we can be pretty overbearing with others in like a nurturing way. i love being a capricorn. i am my own person. i can take care of myself...but i wanna take care of someone esle you know? or atleast help her when she needs it. to be needed...thats a craving i have.

yepp i hear u. find a pisces girl who needs to be taken care of and happily ever after 🙂

or a nice cap woman...although a isces would be like...dreamlike. which is awesome. lol. being an infp im always daydreaming and stuff lol. pisces sounds like a perfect match though...but i dont know any atm. very strange. i usually atract fire and air signs.

I dont think cap boys can get along with cap girls. I know some cappy men happily married to cancerian woman though.

Eureka! I now know why I am attracting jerks. I found in another forum that "Neptune in the 1st House attract weirdo's and stalkers" because it makes you look too innocent and naive.

Posted by xdxp
sublety and hidden meanings are my forte.

As you can 'read' people, I wish you were there with me when I visited my gynecologist/sexual therapist. He is a Taurus man (10 years older than me) and I believe he kinda 'hypnotized me' secretly and suddenly I started to act like I was a borderline personality disorder. I confessed him I was in love with him. He then hugged me three times and stroke my hair but said nothing. He was all formal with me. Talking about his own life, his past (he had many gfs he said) etc. But it was a Friday night (9pm) and there was noone else in his office other than 2 of us. I thought he was just doing his job but a part of me was wondering if he was into me. I was so confused.. I really wish someone had seen everything and could tell me what was going on..

I dunno :/ that is how I felt. His voice tone and his eyes, his poker face. until after my bf said that he might have hidden agenda, I always thought (even when he was hugging me) that I was just a pain in the ass patient to my gynecologist.

One day he talked to me for two hours. He told me that my bf was not a good partner and I should separate. Then he mentioned surrogate partners who teach how to sex but added that it was hard to find male surrogate partners etc. I am a reserved person. So I would never accept such thing. But while leaving the place it was like I was enchanted. I started to behave awkwardly. I cried the whole week without stopping. I thought I was madly in love with him and I had very strong suicidal feelings for the first time in my life.

Posted by xdxp
"he kinda 'hypnotized me' secretly"

i thought there should be always a nurse or an assistant present. i'm not how easy it is to hypotize someone "secretly"...

After my bf told me on the phone that I should beware of that person, all those strong feelings have almost disappeared.
It took me three months to remember all the details. When I think of that Friday night my memory comes in a cloudy way. The picture is not clear.

they say that if you are creative (I guess Neptune in the first house) you are hypnotized more quickly. Only people with severe mental problems cannot be hypnotized. (covert/conversational hypnosis). That guy was expert in NLP

Posted by xdxp
it's not difficult to feel like falling in love (real or not) with someone serves as a mentor or in your case psychologist. that's why there is a strict code of conduct to guide doctors' relationships with patients.

maybe you should go see someone else, a female doctor. tell her what happend and let her judge.

Yes you're right. I wrote a letter to the Organization of sexual therapists in my country. but no answer. my position is not very strong here. They would believe in the doctor rather than the 'borderline' patient, right?
It is easy for him to say that I distort reality. Although his hugging me three times and the inappropriate time/venue might help me.

Posted by xdxp
i'm exceptionally creative when it comes to insects.... oh again jerks lol

I really envy you now LOL

and you're right that justice sometimes does not come about easily. I really gave up. I think saving myself without any harm was what I really could do about this. If he is hunting while practicing his job, that's not really cool (considering he is married and has a 6months old baby). I hope other girls will not fall into the trap. When talking about hypnosis, I am not talking about being in deep sleep by the way. I am talking about having your inhibitions removed. Your subconscious directly talking to the doctor. Bcs I still cant believe what was coming out of my mouth during those conversations.

Posted by xdxp
i understand. we all have weak moments or ok let's say confusing moments lol no need to beat yourself up again and again ok. it's not your fault. he is the doctor. regardless whether it was intentional or a moment of weakness or whatever, it was his fault. you didn't make things up. you didn't think clearly until your bf pointed out to you. the doctor was acting a bit too warm i mean c'mon even if he thought with his arse 3 time hugs was way too charming LOL

You know what is weird. Words matter more than deeds for me. So, when I didn't hear back that he was interested, his hugs turned me off. While his body was touching mine, I constantly had this thought that he was just doing his job and I was a pathetic and miserable person who was annoying him! LOL

Posted by xdxp
it's not trivial to resist an authoritiative snd sentural taurus man's hug though i do understand LOL


again, if you can, let it go. it's not your fault. repeat 100 times. if you cannot let it go, as i suggested earlier, go get him LOL

if he was really interested and had taken the risk (risking both professional and marital issues) and had confided in me. If he had said: "Borderlinecapri I find you attractive but as you know I am married. But my partner has been very busy with our baby, so I need some attention/satisfaction. Also, I believe that this might be an opportunity for you to have a healthy sexual relationship with a person who is expert on sexual healing. You can always trust me. I will never call or annoy you after havng sex with you. I will always keep it as our secret. and if you need me in the near future, you can always reach me. Meaning I won't abandon you after sleeping with you. I'll keep you as a sacred and nice memory"
If he had told me all these, I might have given in.
LOL I know, it is impossible to find such a man.. They usually do not have such analytical capabilities.

Posted by CappyyLuv30

Posted by borderlinecapri
I dont think cap boys can get along with cap girls. I know some cappy men happily married to cancerian woman though.

I read an astrology book that said that an airy cap can date another cap.

My bff is a cancer and her ex is a cap. Lasted 4 yrs but it was rough.

click to expand

My first love was a cappy man but he was horse. a magnet to women. It didnt last but he was really hot!

Yes xdxp, you're right. I have been very confused lately.. As i told u, my neprune in first house make me someone with a less understanding of self-identity and own desires. I am like an emotional sponge and become what I witness around. Maybe thats why he told me i might be borderline. i told him that i was feeling towards him simultaneously smt similar to love and hate. so my intentions were not really an issue. So, I think if he was maipulative, it did not work smoothly. Bcs when
I told him that when I feel such things towards inappropriate people, I just avoid them; he told me -lowering the tone of his smooth voice- "I wish you had followed that person you're attracted to. What would you lose by doing that? If you chase him, you will see."

Posted by xdxp

Posted by borderlinecapri

Posted by xdxp
it's not trivial to resist an authoritiative snd sentural taurus man's hug though i do understand LOL


again, if you can, let it go. it's not your fault. repeat 100 times. if you cannot let it go, as i suggested earlier, go get him LOL

if he was really interested and had taken the risk (risking both professional and marital issues) and had confided in me. If he had said: "Borderlinecapri I find you attractive but as you know I am married. But my partner has been very busy with our baby, so I need some attention/satisfaction. Also, I believe that this might be an opportunity for you to have a healthy sexual relationship with a person who is expert on sexual healing. You can always trust me. I will never call or annoy you after havng sex with you. I will always keep it as our secret. and if you need me in the near future, you can always reach me. Meaning I won't abandon you after sleeping with you. I'll keep you as a sacred and nice memory"
If he had told me all these, I might have given in.
LOL I know, it is impossible to find such a man.. They usually do not have such analytical capabilities.

he will never make it clear to you because he is THE doctor. you got the idea but the best he can do (most likely) is to make it vague and suggestive (as he already did to you) and let you take the lead. this way if things go sour, he can turn against you (deny everyting and blame on your borderline problem that he documented) and keeps his reputation/career intact.

click to expand

I know. you're definitely right. That's why I was able to shut down my feelings for him while he was hugging me and stroking my hair. I had already seen our future.

Posted by xdxp
he does not want his guilt to kill him also when it turns sour. so from all perspectives (caeer and personal/emotional) he cannot take the lead. you will be the one who leads and takes the fall.

ahaha I know and despite my naive looks, I really see that coming and avoid it LoL. When I was younger I had an inspiring experience with a man twice my age. He tried to seduce me. He even forced me to kiss him. I escaped from his arms. After a while, after losing all his hopes (I was leaving for abroad), do you know what he told me: "I've always seen you as my sister."!!!! I am very cautious now. I wouldnt want a man who slept with me to tell similar things later or blame me for seducing him.

Posted by xdxp
like i said, i'm more evil, heck, i'd be mirroring him saying and acting suggestive and touching to see how strong his will can withstand without him insisting you taking the lead lol but i'd only put myself in that posistion when i'm determined to bring him down with prepratins

Yeah. I now understand that some of the things I said might have let him to lose his control a bit. When he suggested me to pursue the man I was attracted to (in this case, him!),I (my subconscious) said briefly: No, if he knows me, he won't love me. he will leave me." So he said that he understood now that my self-esteem was underdeveloped. He said "maybe he will love you." I said "no". He told me "Other women can have sex and orgasm with their partners while they are thinking of other men. Why can't you? What is wrong with you? You are too conservative. Like a nun. You are coward like a duck." — I was just ignoring all of these and looking down.

Then he came closer to me and asked me to stand up. He suddenly hugged me. I wasnt expecting it. He hugged me very tighly. I was feeling his legs on mine. LOL

Posted by xdxp
sorry got to run. typing too fast made me create new words lol

i hope you feel less troubling about him after a while border. take care 🙂

Thanks a lot xdxp, it was nice talking to you. Have a great day cappy friend!

Posted by xdxp
ok before i go -

your self-esteeem is not the question here. his integrity and code of condcuct as a professional are. if things go wrong, he can damage you greatly.

"Other women can have sex and orgasm with their partners while they are thinking of other men. Why can't you? What is wrong with you? You are too conservative. Like a nun. You are coward like a duck." —

of course some somen can but i personally think it's not something to encourage because how sad/painful it is that one needs to think of another man while makeing love to their partner in order to get turned on— and never be able to share the wonderful exotic images you had in your mind with your partner— i find that pathetic. that'd mean an unfulling relationship and sorry i'd have to be true to myself and my partner and break up to find my true love/lust. to me, the more i love the more lust i have so if i do not lust then i do not love. simple. no point to stay together.

let's all for now.

nice talking to you too bordercapri. you have a great weeknd! 🙂

I know that you are 100% right in your reading of the situation. I am so happy to have received your helpful comments and suggestions. I am sure I will remain trouble-free for at least three years LOL