Cappy guy , is he really into me?

I love my cappy guy so much and i wish i would knew if he feel the same thing too.. I ended up the relationship twice coz he is giving me mixed signals. He did not talk to me or even text me for 3 weeks and came back after, as if nothing happen. I was hurt that he ignored me for 3 weeks and i pulled away a little bit and he noticed it, and texted me he is letting me go and i replied like" thank you for letting me go" and the next morning, he is in my front door and act as if nothing..why is he doing this to me? Is he into me? Is he pursuing me or what? Btw, we are intimate and been together for 6 months now..
Please help me all cappy guys out there... Thank you.

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Posted by HouseCleaning
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SPEND ALL YOUR TIME WITH ME AS IF YOU HAVE NO LIFE OR IT MEANS YOU DON'T LUB ME!!

How old are you?
To be honest your post is a bit confusing. Maybe explain more details when you feel calmer so we can help you.
I think keep it calm and don't make any actions towards him for the time being...

@underwaterthing... I am 47 and he is 46.. Never been in a relationship again for 7 years and he, for,5 years and for me, it's like i am in a relationshio for the first time..I am a virgo and really i am so overthinking and over analyzing everything but when we are together, everything is so perfect. You know the silent conversation thing? We just cuddled each other while watching tv, cooked together and joked about each othe but we enjoyed every moment of it. But sometimes, if I ask him about us, my placement in our relationship, he is going to get mad and not talk to me for 3 weeks and he did that to me twice.. That's why i pulled away a little bit and he noticed it, and told me i am nit interested anymore that's why he tected me, he is letting me go.. I answered his text, thanking him for letting me go and next mirning he is at my door as if nothing ..Btw way, during that time that he ignired me, i did not texted him or called him. He did the first move and i just go with tit..I love him and i can feel, he likes me too.. Please help

Posted by Andeep
if I ask him about us, my placement in our relationship, he is going to get mad and not talk to me for 3 weeks and he did that to me twice..

Posted by Andeep
I love him and i can feel, he likes me too..

click to expand

It's only been six months. He either doesn't know how he feels, isn't sure yet or he doesn't feel the same as you. The balance is off. You have more feelings for him than he does for you.

Allow things to happen organically without any pressure on him to state his feelings. Stop trying to go faster than he wants to go.

Honestly, the only time I've ever been vague when someone in the past has asked me where we stand is when I had no intention of taking the relationship further.

Oh okey.. Maybe i should go with the flow then?

Posted by Andeep
@underwaterthing... I am 47 and he is 46.. Never been in a relationship again for 7 years and he, for,5 years and for me, it's like i am in a relationshio for the first time..I am a virgo and really i am so overthinking and over analyzing everything but when we are together, everything is so perfect. You know the silent conversation thing? We just cuddled each other while watching tv, cooked together and joked about each othe but we enjoyed every moment of it. But sometimes, if I ask him about us, my placement in our relationship, he is going to get mad and not talk to me for 3 weeks and he did that to me twice.. That's why i pulled away a little bit and he noticed it, and told me i am nit interested anymore that's why he tected me, he is letting me go.. I answered his text, thanking him for letting me go and next mirning he is at my door as if nothing ..Btw way, during that time that he ignired me, i did not texted him or called him. He did the first move and i just go with tit..I love him and i can feel, he likes me too.. Please help

Okay virgo, lets get into the details. What did you say when you asked about the relationship, how did you say it, and what was his immediate reaction? Then he didn't talk to you for 3 weeks? None of this sounds good, ok, healthy. Very CAP, yes, but still...

Also, a lot of women do come on here trying to figure out what to do for the men, very important to consider what YOU want too.
What are you getting? What is your gut saying? What do you want?
I get the over thinking thing I do, but it doesn't help anyone really. I also saw that trucap said 'It's only been 6 months" this is another case of - what do you want? For me personally I'd be pissed off it was 6 months and I didn't know where I stood. I think that's a crazy amount of time to waste, but everyone IS different.

Of course he's into you or he wouldn't spend time with you but given that you both have been single for many years this will probably go at snails pace and being he's a Capricorn it'll be beyond slow just because Cap males can be cautious and slow like that.

Men who give off mixed messages are not ready to be tied down hence why he ignored you for 3 weeks. He ignored you to SLOW things down, you're already in love and yet you feel he "LIKES" you.

You've skipped a few paces from liking him to loving him in a short matter of 6 months which can confuse a man. What can he do with that kind of energy you're communicating especially since he's "LIKE" mode and all the while you're in love mode which is the kind of energy that PUSHES MEN AWAY. This kind of "skip ahead of him" kind of energy is one of a few reasons why you're receiving mixed messages

Take a step back and think about why you were single for 7 years. Was there any mistakes you made that you promised to avoid? Did you move too fast in your prior relationship/s and vowed never to do that again? You don't have necessarily answer that, just reflect on what made you take a break from dating so you can get your plant your feet firmly on the ground so you can enjoy the moments you have with him instead of sitting around feeling anxious and uncertain which is no fun for him or for you.

You've managed to be single for 7 years and you survived thus you don't need this man to make you happy nor do you need him to survive. You've accomplished survival and happiness all on your own for the last 7 years so don't LOSE YOURSELF just because a man is standing in front of you.

Enjoy yourself and if it leads into love great but if it doesn't that's great too, you'll be fine whether he loves you or not.

@tilki33.. He ignored me for 3 weeks coz onetime he joked me about him being my BFF and I was was like shocked coz I want more than that and he was pissed off from my reaction coz I asked him, "you are my BFF?" He did not answer me. He just said Oh my God!" And for 3 weeks he ignored me. I did try to communicate with him through text 2x and he did not reply so i stopped. And to be exact 3 weeks, he texted me as if nothing happened. I ask him about my text messages and he said he did not get it.
Maybe you are right tiki33, i am too much ahead of him coz i told him i love him after 3 months that we knew each other. I was happy being single before for 7 years until i met this guy.. Honestly, capricorn are very good lovers. I can't say any negative traits about them except the mixed signals coz sometimes he acts like a boyfriend and sometimes a friend.. Which drives me nuts! But they are really nice and sincere.. I met him through a friend. At first i thought he is not interested coz he ignored me but after 2 weeks, he came to my place together with the friend that introduced us and that's the start of our relationship...

This is my personal experience, so it may not apply, I think capricorn men know not to go fast at all, they slow everything down to ensure that you are always hooked, waiting, unsure and STAY interested in them. I think this is a good thing because they have probably had past experience where after a few years the woman got bored or arguments began or something happened which taught them not to give all the goodies yet (goodies meaning their heart). So he is giving it to you in little bits then pulling away. He is probably in love with you too but can control himself, CAPS ARE ALWAYS IN CONTROL.

However, this way of a relationship, for me never worked and it backfired on my ex cap. It didn't work for me because I am a venus in scorpio and need security, I am not sure what your venus is in, but you need to think about how natural it feels for you to go with the flow and be pushed and pulled.

I changed myself because I loved that cap and allowed the push and pull for 6 years, I take FULL responsibility for wasting my own time as for the most part I thought he was calculating and intentionally hurting me, it was only another cap friend who told me my ex cap was doing all these tactics because he is wise and didn't want to lose me.

Anyway point is, you can go with the flow, ONLY if its natural to you, if it is not, then be direct with him, as him where you stand, and if he gets angry and ignores you, THAT IS AN ANSWER, it's up to you, but if I could change how weak I was, I would have stayed firm and ignore him back until he was clear with his intentions with me. Sometimes caps expect everyone else to be mind readers, when their actions are inconsistent, INTENTIONALLY to hook you.

Lastly, don't doubt his feelings to you, I doubted my ex caps and only found out these last two years how deeply he felt.

Be confident, caps feel deeply and wouldn't waste their time.

@venusinscorpio786x... Thank you so much. I was enlightened with your comments..I did broke up with him through text coz i don't wanna be his BFF and he did not acknowledge my text so I presumed we are done and he is fine with it. But after a week he came back and said nothing about my text and acted like there's no break up..I know it is weird but i always take him back..

IDK, both Cap I dated (One was 22, other 34) told me within months they loved me and wanted to make it official..
Maybe it's the leo confidence that they were working off? Not sure.

One I left bc he TRIED to ignore me a few days (for no reason) and I was like you cant do this its not kind and it doesn't add up I don't want to be with you.
I was really nice but firm. Years later he called and apologized for being so lame and said he valued me as a woman and friend ..lol whatever.
The other, older one, also did a freak out disappearing act, but he came back. I actually LOVE him and we are on a different level. After we talked it out we came to a conclusion that this couldn't happen again and communication is necessary. But I left him alone so he could come back....

If he ever did that again though I'd be done. It's not that hard to say, "I need space." Or "I'm mad I don't want to talk." It's just a matter of respect. Cap or not. But who knows, he might through me some more dog doo doo in the future lol. Caps are yea, late bloomers? haha

Posted by Andeep
@venusinscorpio786x... Thank you so much. I was enlightened with your comments..I did broke up with him through text coz i don't wanna be his BFF and he did not acknowledge my text so I presumed we are done and he is fine with it. But after a week he came back and said nothing about my text and acted like there's no break up..I know it is weird but i always take him back..

You didnt say that at first....
Not to be rude, but is english your first language?

Posted by Andeep
@venusinscorpio786x... Thank you so much. I was enlightened with your comments..I did broke up with him through text coz i don't wanna be his BFF and he did not acknowledge my text so I presumed we are done and he is fine with it. But after a week he came back and said nothing about my text and acted like there's no break up..I know it is weird but i always take him back..

No problem, have faith in yourself and him, if it is meant to be, somehow, somewhere, a path will lead you together, believe in this if you truly love him.

I believe caps are good souls, like the below person said, mine told me after years that he always thought i was a good girl and didn't do anything bad to him, and that when I changed my number how depressed he got, he also declared his love early on, then withdrew it, and asked me 100 times 'why do you love me so much'?

I can truly relate to the feeling of panic, confusion and I myself was paranoid I was being played a fool, but I wasn't. He probably knows how fond you are of him, and it is this that probably makes his day. Be confident in you, I have a feeling he will be back, if you truly love him, even while he is gone, honour your feelings and make sure that if he is to return, you are in a good place with other parts of your life i.e. work, family, etc.

Posted by Andeep
@tilki33.. He ignored me for 3 weeks coz onetime he joked me about him being my BFF and I was was like shocked coz I want more than that and he was pissed off from my reaction coz I asked him, "you are my BFF?" He did not answer me. He just said Oh my God!" And for 3 weeks he ignored me. I did try to communicate with him through text 2x and he did not reply so i stopped. And to be exact 3 weeks, he texted me as if nothing happened. I ask him about my text messages and he said he did not get it.
Maybe you are right tiki33, i am too much ahead of him coz i told him i love him after 3 months that we knew each other. I was happy being single before for 7 years until i met this guy.. Honestly, capricorn are very good lovers. I can't say any negative traits about them except the mixed signals coz sometimes he acts like a boyfriend and sometimes a friend.. Which drives me nuts! But they are really nice and sincere.. I met him through a friend. At first i thought he is not interested coz he ignored me but after 2 weeks, he came to my place together with the friend that introduced us and that's the start of our relationship...

If someone told me they loved me after only three months, I'd look at them like they'd lost their ever loving mind. Really? You don't even KNOW me at three months. You don't know my dark side. You don't know my grumpy side. You've only seen my best behavior. True personalities don't show up for at about at least six months.

Also, if I told my boyfriend that he was my BFF and he acted like you did, like he was surprised by that, I'd be hurt. Very hurt. My boyfriend HAS to be my BFF - it's very important to build that friendship stage of a relationship. And yes, I still have female BFFs but when it all comes down to it, if a relationship is going to prosper then he has to be in that role as well.

(of course there's a possibility that he only sees you as BFF and you love him and he is exasperated because doesn't know how else to get the message across that you're just friends).

Yes, you are going way, way too fast for this guy. Capricorns need a foundation. We build relationships one brick at a time...can't have a roof without studs to support it, ya know.

Posted by Andeep
@venusinscorpio786x... Thank you so much. I was enlightened with your comments..I did broke up with him through text coz i don't wanna be his BFF and he did not acknowledge my text so I presumed we are done and he is fine with it. But after a week he came back and said nothing about my text and acted like there's no break up..I know it is weird but i always take him back..

So your boyfriend can't be your BFF? They can't be one in the same?

@trucap.. I think you are correct.. But i was expecting like we could be bf/gf first before bff , coz how can you be intimate with your bff? Or maybe i am just so duh...

Posted by Andeep
@trucap.. I think you are correct.. But i was expecting like we could be bf/gf first before bff , coz how can you be intimate with your bff? Or maybe i am just so duh...

It doesn't work that way. I can't be bf/gf with someone unless we're at least friends. I have to like them enough to be friends with them before I can get into a relationship wtih them.
I think a lot of caps are this way. Of course I can't speak for all of them.

I don't even get what a BFF is?

I don't know whether its an insult or a compliment but pace is dependent on a person and placements, for some 3 months is too fast, for others not.

His actions are that he comes back round, going on his actions, since caps don't waste time, this is a good indicator if you are seeking reassurance of him having some feelings for you.

Look at his actions more than his words, his words are to TEST you, my ex cap always kept asking me why I hadn't found a boyfriend in the times we weren't in contact? He even told me a few times to move on? Did he mean this at the time? No, he didn't, he was testing me and my feelings towards him....so keep this in mind. He will push you away to see if you come back, especially if he feels insecure.

Also if you understand natal charts, my ex cap had Venus square Saturn and I have Venus conjunct Saturn, both of these placements can cause a huge amount of testing, check his chart to see this too.

Posted by Andeep
@trucap.. I think you are correct.. But i was expecting like we could be bf/gf first before bff , coz how can you be intimate with your bff? Or maybe i am just so duh...

That's the thing. You should WAIT to get intimate until you know he wants a relationship. Because sex is just sex. It doesn't mean we're in a relationship. I can have sex with someone I have no intention of having a relationship with. (Personally, I don't roll that way, but it's happened).

Posted by Venusinscorpio786x
I don't even get what a BFF is?

I don't know whether its an insult or a compliment

From a cap, BFF is a complement. We don't have very many BFFs. There are very few in our inner circle.

Posted by truecap

Posted by Venusinscorpio786x
I don't even get what a BFF is?

I don't know whether its an insult or a compliment

From a cap, BFF is a complement. We don't have very many BFFs. There are very few in our inner circle.

click to expand

Ok, that makes sense as my cap friends are very picky with you they are close too.

Posted by Andeep
@trucap.. I think you are correct.. But i was expecting like we could be bf/gf first before bff , coz how can you be intimate with your bff? Or maybe i am just so duh...

Regardless of what I commented, in the end you still have to do what is the right thing for you. So, if you weren't happy with things as they are, then you're not happy and breaking it off was the right thing for you.

:

@trucap..yup that's the thing.. My fault . But i have read that love and sex for capricorn goes hand in hand.. And if he had done it with you for more than 3 months, what does it mean? Coz i have read too that 2 months is the longest for a capricorn to stay in a relationship especially if they don't see any possibilities with their partner.
And btw, you and tiki33 please consider me as one of your followers.. I like your comments and advices . I wish I was able to read them before i get into this relationship at least i knew what to do now..opps,

Posted by Andeep
@trucap..yup that's the thing.. My fault . But i have read that love and sex for capricorn goes hand in hand..,

So because you read this you think caps can only have sex with people they love? You think caps can't have sex just for sex? We're abstinent unless we're in love?



No, I'm not being mean. But think about it. It sounds ridiculous when you put it in that perspective.

@trucap... That's is why i am asking about traits and personality of a capricorn coz it would help me to understand him. It would really help me and maybe guide me to make a decision. Though, i understand I still have to get to know him more and better..anyway, thank you for your comments and advices

There is no such thing as BFF with 2 people in their 40's. And this BFF thing isn't about astrology. It's about a man doing that man trap thing that some men do.

To be clear I am not saying this man has any malice intent but there are men out there that will passively friendzone a woman and then as the months and years roll on she feels TRAPPED into as situation that never seems to go anywhere.

Andeep did the right thing by repeating his words back to him to get clarity and instead of giving her clarity he disappeared for 3 weeks. That kind of behavior is not BFF behavior nor is it demonstrating that he cares about her yet alone love her. His behavior falls more in line with being selfish, power or ego tripping and immature as in not ready to be in a real relationship where both people give and reciprocate.

From my own past experiences I've learned men that disappear just don't make good boyfriends. Men that don't give clarity don't make good communicators which means they don't make good boyfriends.

Men that disappear tend emotionally selfish and self absorbed but they do have the capacity to temporarily show up when it convenient for him to show up which keeps women hanging on hoping one day he'll stop his shenanigans, stop disappearing and be available and be the great guy he's demonstrated he can be when he decides to be available.

What a lot of women fail to recognize is that "great guy" she's into is just an ACT, he's acting which is why he can turn it on and turn it off so easily.

He know he can't be what she know him to be 24/7, hell he don't wanna be that guy consistently which is one reason why he ducks out on her but he also is fully aware that this ACT keeps her preoccupied with loving him and gives an illusion of a potential relationship which keeps her body sexually open for when he's ready to be available again and again.

Although I'm married now, just know I've been there and it takes mental and enormous emotional willpower to break free from a you believe you love. Once you've convinced yourself you want more and yet you're dangling out there all by yourself, in love alone, that's hell to overcome.

Andeep dig deep and break out of this emotionally draining situation with him. Don't be his BFF and matter of fact don't want to be with a man that disappears, you can't trust this man to be gentle with your heart, he's demonstrated that he can hurt you and for me knowing what I know today that is a good enough reason to jump ship.

If a 40 something year old man hasn't figured out it's not okay to disappear and not come in and out of a woman's life then he won't care about you the way you need and want him to which means if you stay in this situation you are putting yourself in a position to experience a lot of confusion and emotional neglect.

@tiki33...thank you so much for that great advice. I really appreciate it..