Cappy Update

Ok ladies, this isn't a great update whatsoever. To make a long story short, ya'll that have been reading my posts know that me and my cappy finally got exclusive after 8 mos, and have been the past couple of weeks. We've been doing very well. Well to make a long story short, last week was kind of messed up. He had to work most of the nites and I didn't get to see him besides one nite but I talked to him all but one of the nites. Fast forward to this weekend, Fri nite, I get drunk, didn't mean to, just having a good time with the gals. Anyhow, I had talked to him while he was working and he told me he'd call me back. He did and then got mad because he hates talking to me when I've been drinking. So he hangs up. Well I'm wanting to talk to him, so I keep calling him back. He won't answer, he shuts his phone off a couple of times, but I never talk to him again.

So Sat morn of course I'm feeling bad for doing that, but he should have just talked to me. Well I call him and he is mad, well says he's not really mad but that he's just fed up with this whole thing. Then I go into the fact of why did he decide to become exclusive with me, give me false hope, etc. if he was just going to end it two weeks later. Well he says he thinks it's just not going to work out. I was crushed (again), what a suprise. So he's talking and then says he has to go because he's working. Well I didn't hear back from him. So I call him back later, I didn't realize that he had to work real later last nite. So when I call him back he says the same sh!t and how he just doesn't think that this will work. I apologize for Fri nite, he says it won't happen again because he won't be there for it to happen again. Then he has to go again because he got another call with work. He said he'd call today and talk, and I said what else is there to say. You going to call me and tell me the same thing. He said pretty much.

So I guess that's just it? We r done. After all this bullsh!t for 8 mos, finally get the chance to be exclusive and now it's just over like this. What is going on. I'm just not understanding.

MyCap,

All is not necessatily lost between you and your Cap. They don't let go that easily. There could be other stresses going on in his world that have nothing to do with you.

Just back off for a while. Give him a chance to miss you.

Geez Branh, you are one sadistic person, curious as to what made you so cruel that you feel the need to get on these boards and bash people. aren't there people around you in person that you could hurl your abuse on?
Of course she knows she screwed up and feels really bad about it. So what's the point of bashing her over the head with your "all knowing you are God" attitude and making it worse.I'm sure there are plenty of people around you, living, working, whatever the hell you do who could so profit from all your wisdom that you seem to have.Or maybe they won't associate with you anymore...hmmm...I have one question for you? If your life is so wonderful and you have all the answers and know exactly how to live life perfectly then what the hell are you doing on these boards? Have you seen a burning bush that told you to spread your immense knowledge. Sorry, but people don't usually like bullies, and you seem to truly enjoy and revel in telling people how f-ed up they are, you say you believe in karma? well bashing people when they're down is hardly good karma.

sorry about you experience Mycap, I guess it is time to lay low. We all make bad choices and wrong turns sometimes, we're human(except for Branh) and not all of us are perfect. But I wouldn't keep calling, it'll just make you feel worse I think. Let him cool off and see what happens, but to call and beg will just make you feel more degraded and I know when i put myself in that position I spiral into a lot of self-destructive behavior because i feel so bad about myself.

Branh-- you belong on askmen.com boards where the mysoginsts hang out. You're obviously a woman-hater. The women on this board clearly know what they're dealing w/ and have accepted the challenge posed by these Cap. men. Our own insights have been confirmed by 2 male Cap. visitors to this site. Stay over on the Pisces board where you belong!

MyCap-- he may be stressed with work and found your "drunk calls" silly? Or, is jealous/resenting you for being out w/ the girls drinking? You know what to do-- drop back, don't send any long email or any email. It's not over. It's not done. That is for certain and is something every one of us on here will agree about 100% .

But Brabh, why do you bother? it seems as if it offends you...if you really truly want to help people see reality or the man's point of view, if you know anything at all about women, or most women, you would know that brow beating and berating and putting them down only increases the feelings of low self esteem etc. Why look at these if it offends you so much? I've known men also who are guilty? of making similar mistakes whatever in the romantic relationship realm.I've seen them cry and beg and grovel and all around demean themselves to women who don't want them, all the while saying "but I love her I'll do anything" and these are not wimpy men, they can be just as vulnerable sometimes as women. but in any of these cases do you really think berating people is a productive way of helping? as i said before...it's bullying...and yes we all go around in circles sometimes, yes even men, wondering what the hell went wrong. Sometimes things don't work out and people are hurt and part of getting over the hurt is talking, and crying and venting etc. Ask any shrink, what do you think they do? maybe some of them berate people but most of the time they try to make people understand why they did what they did and to try and change the behavior to not do it again.
as to the lady in crisis here , you are hurting, and yes for now I think it's time to throw in the towel and try to get your self esteem back. Talk and cry to your friends, keep working going to school whatever, to have self esteem one must do self esteeming acts. My opinion and this comes from the heart, not from cruelity, is to not keep calling begging asking because i said it before, it will only make you feel worse about yourself. There is a saying about going to an empty well looking for water, and right now, going to him again and again is going to that empty well. He is, it appears from what you said, not going to say or give you what you want to hear, so be kind to yourself and don't go there, it will hurt you even more.
and Branh maybe you should just not read these boards if it bothers you so much

MyCap,

If he said he will call you back, if he is taking your calls, all is not lost. I don?t know what you said or implied while you were drunk [some guys don?t mind if their lady is a little drunk (not a lush or anything), as it may take the ?edge? off, or relax them of inhibitions], but it?s evident that he?s told you not to call him when you are like that ? so you must turn into something unattractive or undesirable in that state of mind as far as he is concerned.

I agree with CG, VL and APW, that you should just lay low for awhile. Even Branh0913 makes some good points. But I would also take into serious consideration what he said about your relationship not working out. I don?t know the particulars of your previous breakup. I remember you saying that you suspected he was seeing other women while seeing you and you confronted him on it and it pissed him off ? and this was during the time you were trying to reconcile as I asked you to let him know how you feel ?face-to-face? and even though you chose email, he was still receptive until you bought up the ?other woman? thing.

MyCap, I think you are insecure with this guy. If he misses a day calling you, you can get a little unnerved, and perhaps since he missed a couple of days this time, you couldn?t handle it and got drunk? We don?t know what you said to him, just that you were drunk, but like the saying goes ?a drunk man?s mouth speaks a sober man?s mind.? So perhaps the liquor influenced you to say things that are really on your heart that you otherwise wouldn?t have the nerve to say ? and your cappy realized this immediately.

He doesn?t want or need your mistrust. What do you think?

Branh0913, I believe you are speaking through experience when you are being blunt with your opinions. I get this belief by your words and the implication I get from your statement:

?...yes there are men who cry and grovel over women who don't want them. I was that guy...?

You must have really been hurt and are repulsed with your conduct throughout the entire ordeal and may have wound up empty-handed, as far as getting the lady. Therefore, you are using tough comments to perhaps give everyone a reality check (?snap out of it!?) approach b/c of the self-hate you suffered.

At the same time, you should let your words be seasoned with grace when talking to the broken-hearted. Nobody likes to be kicked around when they are down...especially by someone who doesn't know anything about them and may not even care if they live or die.

pathfinder, that was so well said, everything...good dood advice to all

Ok branh0913 was just plain rude. But it's ok, I can take it. It's obvious that I messed up and that I regret it. But then again I can't take it back. As for the others that replied, thanks. I don't know if it's over or not. I kind of feel like it is, but then again don't. Believe me ladies, I'm going to lay low and not act on anything. He did call me back this evening. He talked to me for a little bit, but we never mentioned our relationship tho.

pathfinder, I didn't say anything to him out of the ordinary fri nite when I was drunk. And I didn't get drunk because of him not calling me. I usually go out with my friends every fri nite and have a good time, but not get as drunk as I was. It was a long story on why he got mad at me. But again, it wasn't anything I said, it was me not being understanding while he was working. I don't necessarily think he's jealous when I go out with my friends, but he doesn't really like it. He'd rather I just stay at home I believe.

virgolady, thanks. He is very stressed out with work right now, and I know it's hard on him, so that is part of it. The other nite he mentioned about the little time that we spend together because of his job. But i can't help that and he can't really either i guess. We seem to have time issues because of our different work schedules, and that seems to be the main problem. I know they don't let go easily, afterall we have stopped talking before and gotten back together times before over the 8 mos. I guess that should tell me that that's a bad sign, us breaking up and getting back together so much. I thought this time it would be different tho. We care about each other a lot, we both know that. I guess it just seems that right now we are in two different places in our lives. He's working crazy hours, and a lot of hours at that. And then I guess I'm wanting to spend time with him and he can't and it just frustrates me, then I get mad at him, then he decides that maybe this won't work out, etc.

MyCap,

I didn't say he was jealous of your going out. I don't know how you read that into my comments. I didn't mean to imply that you got drunk that he was not calling you -- even though it seems that you used that influence to call him when you knew he was working frantically. Also, when I read your response to VirgoLady, you confirm your frustration that he can't spend a lot of time with you and it makes you angry -- even though this man keeps in touch with you and let's you know where he is and what he is doing. He has let you know that he doesn't like you to call him when you are "drunk" so this tells me that no matter if he was working or not, his reaction would have been the same to your "drunkness".

There is something else going on here, and I believe it is your insecurity within yourself, not necessarily anything you can blame on him ... this may be why you find yourself apologizing to him for your actions. You and him have broken up and made up several times, as you say, which says to me that he wants to give you a chance, b/c he probably loves you very much, but you are not getting "it". "IT" meaing trusting what he tells you is going on in his life and how it relates to you. This is probably causing him so much stress b/c of your insecurity due to your own immaturity and he can't handle you and his job. They don't multi-task very well, neither do they communicate very well their emotions. So therefore he tells you it is "not" working between you two even though this may be breaking his heart.

I don't defend capricorn men as you all may have realized on this board or others you know me from. However, when something makes sense, it just makes sense and I will consider and respect it. MyCap, something is not making sense here. The more I look at it, it is you, not him.

Also, MyCap, your reference to the "jealous" statement you imply "I" implied to you, it sounds more like you made "Freudian slip" on your part ... a slip of the tongue that reveals the speaker's true meaning or intention. Maybe you were trying to make him jealous after all.

PF~ I think MyCap was responding to my thoughts/response (jealousy).

MyCap... what does he do for work/career? Just wondering as to what would keep him tied up on Friday night and so many long hours.

I know it's hard to understand this "can't multi-task" and dedication to work. Even though I'm a professional w/ a career, my personal life comes first, and I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to admit that or to put my personal life ahead of career. So, sometimes it is hard to relate to this mindset...

Thanks to this Board and better understanding though, I think I am relating better to him and getting it!

My Cap,

One thing to remember about Cap men--work comes first. Period. I don't like to generalize people but I have found this to be true of my dad (who is a Cap) and my Cap. Working is fun to them. My Cap recently fell off a ladder and broke his hip in two places. He can't work for 8 weeks and is going through working withdrawal. What can I say.....

So, if you want to stay with this man you will HAVE to accept that his career will always come first. He is NOT going to change. So, my advice to you is stop wasting your energy on anger and just enjoy the time you do have with him. Moaning and groaning about his long hours will just drive you two further apart.

MyCap

I am sorry that you had to go through that...truly I am but...I went through it myself...when my ex said to me here's to a long long relationship and after that I have not seen him since...never did he explain why he said that...so you are not by yourself...My only suggestion is DO NOT CALL HIM. He is going to call and start the test questions so look out for it and try not to fall into it again..you know the signs know, you can handle him know get some strengh and courage and FILP THE DAMN script.

I can't believe that great lenghts that yall are going though to figure out the Capricorn man!! lol! I love it! I believe that Capricorn male are the most attack sign on this website.

Riffraff...

Your typ are one of the most weakest humans I have every met..and you hearing all of this is doing nothing but boosting your ego because your kind are very pessimsitic and your kind lack communication, and often have bout of depression..so your kind feed off of womens emotions to only make yourself feel good, your kind is so insecure you have to play mind games with women to make you feel like a man, all we are doing is helping you build confidence in yourself to continue treating women the way you do hearing us talk about how your type is, but in the end you are not going to change until you actually met your match...

I know the game and trust me...I will never feed into your kind again...if anything I will make a better stronger man out of your kind....I hope you take what I said and use it to better yourself as a person and a man..and that women that you claim to love after so many months or weeks of knowing her and you come on this board to get advise as to how to wrap her around your finger tells me that you have met your match in some way and that you can't be man enough to find a way on your own to show her. And when you get her the way you want your only going to play the no communication, then go MIA, in other words RUN LIKE HELL...

I hope and pray that she wakes up before it is to late so that you don't have to take her through those stupid mind games you weak individuals play on women. You should take this time as a young man and find some strength and courage within yourself instead of finding it through women that don't know or understand your type.

Somebody had to say it...HOPE I DID NOT F UP YOUR EGO...I AM JUST KEEPING IT REAL...

Ladies he might not come back on this board.....LOL LOL LOL

yay scorpianlady, you said it all, he's reveling in the confusion they create. I'm really starting to believe, that they're not satisfied until the confident wonderful woman that they started out with ends up being a total mental and physical wreck because of all the havoc that gets played out, and then they (the cap who initiated all the game playing etc) can satisfactorially say " ah ha!!! I knew it, see? THAT'S why i didn't want to have a relationship with her.

Capricorn men are far from weak. You women act like yall don't get it. Alot of women don't understand the male mind, not to mention the Capricorn mind. If you was my women ScorpioLady, I would just ignore you because I already know what makes you tick. I would disagree with everything you say just to make you unsure. I will always say that your cheating, so you would have no choice but to be under me 24/7. I'll act like I forgot things that we talked, just so you would think that I won't listening. When you get your hair done, I act like I didn't even notice. And so as you think, this nigga aint' worth nothing, I would do the most "romantic"-est thing you'll seen.

You talk about Capricorn are weak, well Scorpios are vain! If you aren't saying "ohhh" and "ahhh" over every little thing that they do, they feel unappreciated!! They can't handle the fact of their man not actively listening to them. Their man not drooling over them. They already feel that they are a catch.

I hope I didn't hurt your ego! @sshole!

No you did not...thanks for in the insight I will never forget what you just said and it will be something I would look forward to seeing from the next Cappy if I allow him to take me that far but I know how to act if that happens. You have me wrong..although both our preseptions of each is different but yet the same...you sound like you was upset by what I said but I am not upset by what you said...I really helped me to look out for somethings...but no matter what you say about Capy men..I will always believ that your type are weak..and trust me I get it...but I will be damn if I am going to feed a man ego and pride and be at his beck and call...and he not do the same for me and your last comment....SOMETHING MUST HAVE PISSED YOU OFF TO CALL ME AN @SSHOLE lol lol lol ....the truth really hurst...Have a good day....

I don't know why we're letting RR take every one of our threads off course... I am not going to waste energy reforming or teaching him, who is young, and of no benefit or concern to me. He's trolling, and feeding off the attention.

I called you an @sshole because I like to keep it real too. You can't hurt my ego. Scorpios isn't exactly a prize catch anyway, not like Pisces, or Virgos, or Taurus!!

Well, that Capricorn man of yours must really hurt your feelings to be posting negative comments about Capricorn men on this website all day. What happen? He didn't listen enough? You must have bored him! He didn't call you 24/7? You must not have been a good conversationist! You couldn't stand up and be the women he wanted? Which one was it? Can't cook? Not feminine enough? Damn, all this crap talking by you, and you would think that this Capricorn man was abusing you!

Don't worry! Maybe you would find a Libra man that will pay attention to you. You have a nice day too🙂 @sshole!

I really hope that makes you feel good...calling me that....LOl LOL ...just let me know that you are young and your feelings are hurt.....You have a nice day to...

pathfinder, I'd have to agree and say that ur probably right. Maybe it is me. I know I probably just need to sit back and look at it from his perspective. U made a lot of good points and got me really thinking about it. Now that I know it's me, I've more than likely lost him for good and can't change that around now.

Capgirl, my cap is involved in the law enforcement in my city. So he deals with the public. That's what keeps him working these long hours.

MyCap. Your cappy sounds like a grown man to me, who loves you very much and needs you to trust HIM, and not other people or your own emotions. If you want him, you will have to start acting like a grown WOMAN. THAT is what he is looking for. I have no doubt in my mind that this man cares for you deeply, but you have to STOP acting like a "girl". Be the strong woman you are. I now know that you have strength w/i you b/c of the way you have handled all the blunt remarks on this board. Use this strength and maturity to pull yourself together and look at things clearly. Your cap saw you as a woman at one time, BE that. Feel me on this, I mean this affectionately, Don't let him walk away thinking you may never grow up.

Mycap:

Don't you think this behavior is a little controling? I got drunk one night and texted my cappy 6 times, he called me the next day and thought it was the funniest thing ever (he was 10 states away at the time). Everyone does silly things, people drink and dial etc, we all know that capricorns dont like to be made fools of, or to date women who loss control in public BUT we can't allow men to tell us what to do. It was your right to get drunk and call him, he should be flattered!

pathfinder, thanks. I have always been told that I've always acted more mature for my age. But when my emotions control me, I act very immature and stupid. I can be the first one to admit that. I'm pulling myself together and am acting like the woman that I am. Yes, he has seen that at one point and time (that's what he loves), but when I get frustrated he sees a totally different person and he's told me before that he doesn't like that person, and it's my job to control that and sometimes I have a hard time doing that. I'm trying to get better with it tho. Now that I know this and am getting myself back together from being emotionally shredded into peices it seemed, I've probably lost him for good. I don't know that he'll contact me again, and that scares me. I've lost that one chance that he gave me of being exclusive with him to give him a vision that he thinks this relationship will not work. When I talked to him last nite he did tell me that he'd talk to me later after all that drama that went on Fri and Sat, but he could have just said that tho. I guess it's not for me to worry about tho. I just wish I could redo it all. What to do now.

wheretomylady, sometimes my behavior does flatter him, he's told me that before. I think the whole deal was that I was acting the way I was while he was working. Regardless, I shouldn't have acted like that in the first place, but again it just made it more difficult on him because he was trying to work. Today I was thinking that maybe he was just got so stressed out fri nite with dealing with work and then having to mess with my immaturity, that he just said f-it to our relationship, then he still felt the same way on Sat. But when I talked to him yesterday he seemed to have calmed down a little more about it, but then again never mentioned one word about our relationship tho.