Communication with the Caps

Does anyone find it hard to really communicate with a Cap or is it just me? I have a hard time expressing my feelings to him in fear of rejection I guess because he seems rather aloof about a lot of things. We have been seeing each other for 6 mos and have not been out on one single date. We just "hang out" at his house. Does this seem weird or normal? I'm confused because of the way the Caps can be?

Any input would be great!

Girl yes been there done that. Going on 2 years and finally we are doing somethings. We went out to dinner, he has taken me around his hommies, and actually kissed me in front of them I was really shocked at that. he has not confessed his feelings but I know he really cares about me...we just consitmated our friendship into a relationship. and as far as the communication goes...they really need someone that can communicate and start a conversation and I always start the conversation sometimes he might talk about his day what happened on his job and ask me about my day. We have talked about everything under the sun and more. I do hang out at his house a lot. and he loves to cook for me so I let him. I would say just be patient you have to be patient. Talk about the news for the day make him conversat with you ask him questions. about Ideas you might have...they will talk if it is an interesting conversation... My Cap is so used to me talking when I don't talk he askes me am I mad about something. I do voice my opinion and I do it with confidence...they don't want no tears or any whimpy stuff.....you can express your feelings they will act like they don't hear you or won't acknowledge you but they do... I remember the first time I told my Cap I love him we were laying in bed after making damn good love and I lean over him and said I have to say something and he said what and I told him and he said nothing..I tell him every morning that I love him I don't look for a response back. Because it is something that I want to do. but at the same time when I don't give him a hug and kiss and tell him I love him I am quite sure he knows I am mad at him....Don't let them intimidate you.

Scorpionlady,

Thanks for the reply. Ur situation sounds so similar to mine, but damn ur on 2 yrs and just this far, man I have a long ways to go. I feel he is worth it for some reason tho...lol...anyways I mostly hang out at his house a lot and he cooks me dinner too, which is really sweet, and something I've never been used to. They are very slow movers. I guess I am going to have to start speaking up and initiating conversations, but I'm just like him in that sense, at that I really don't know what to talk about. I've never been with a guy who doesn't have anything to ever say.

It's crazy, just like you, when I see him, he will tell me what happened that day at his job (well if anything interesting happened) and that's about the extent of it, and then I try to think of other things to say. But just like I said I'm so used to my past guys having so many things to say that I never had to worry about there never being anything to say.

I will be patient with him, but it's so hard sometimes, as I seem to be the most impatient person there is. I have learned just this past 6 mos to have patience, or at least in this case I have no choice but to have them. He just seems so independent and I hate it that he never shows his feelings. I have learned that he doesn't like it when I whine to him about things or get into an argument with him about anything, especially if it has to do with the way he is treating me. I don't know why they really have to be so darn difficult. I wish they could just open up and get on with the relationship. That would make it a hell of a lot easier on the whole thing.

I know....I can give you a few pointers as to what not to do. He does not call you don't call him...he will call you, act like you don't care and the most important thing I have learned about a Cap is that when they have adversities they will shut you out the sex completely STOPS until they get through it. They fight battles of depression and that is what they are when they don't want to spend time with you. I remember one month we did make love for almost a month. So one day I said to him "I am about to come on my period and I need to have sex" and he said "you don't need to have sex you just want it" and I said I don't care I want to have sex before I come on and he did it. Just be striaght up about what you want. Talk about the news they do listen to the news. Joke sometimes tell him about you day if it is something funny. or talk about your friends just get him to talk and you can have a conversation all night. I don't live with my Cap but we live about 2 min from each other which is really good for the both of us... He does not have a car so I pick him up every morning at 5:30am and every evening when I get off work at 5 and pick him up and we talk the whole way home. He askes me how was my day. He thanks me for picking him up I have been doing for about the last six month. Right know he is going through some adversities and I just decided that I was not going to worry him just give him his space and not ask for nothing and the advise I got from a women who spent 14 years with a Cap told me that if I don't ask for nothing he wille eventually realize that and he will initiate the quality time...I am a scorpio he told me he loves scorpio women....I don't know why because sometime we are off the hook....I have pissed him off and he has pissed me off...I have cussed him out and he just sit there and listen....yes be patient busy yourself and don't let him see you trip.

Scorpionlady,

Thanks for the tips. He does go thru periods of not calling/talking to me. Just like I stayed with him sun nite and then monday i didnt hear from him after I left...when we first started dating I was used to the men that always call all the time, want to hang out all the time, etc. This one was strange, he made me feel as if I wasn't good enough, or he wasnt that into me. I used to get really pissed at him and ask whats going on. I would flip out on him, which I learned is definetely the WRONG thing to do with these men. They don't like drama. Then one day I finally started analyzing him and figuring out that this is just the way he is. After realizing that, it made it easier to deal with. I wait for him to call now and all that and if I dont hear from him one day, I don't get pissed, I just go about my life. I stay busy, as he is always busy with his job and all that, so I have to keep myself busy to stay sane!

I haven't really had any probs in the sex area. For a while there we were having sex all the time, well everytime that I seen him. At first I was asking if it was just all about that, and he said no. So then he kind of backed off from the sex thing for a while. But really I could have sex with him all the time, it's so damn good. so most of the time I initiate it. I seem to think I'm worse than a male when it comes to having sex with him...lol.

If u think of any other pointers to pass my way I would greatly appreciate it. I'm going to try and do what u said about conversations and all that. That should help us out a lot. It just floors me because I usually have tons to say in general, but around him, it's like I'm speechless. it's crazy!

Just don't be afraid to say what is on your mind. And don't cry unless crying is necessary. He will actually respect you more if you say what's on your mind about how you are feeling when you are with him and say it with confidence that to will take you a long way. Just be yourself. What he is doing is figuring you out seeing if he can trust you. If you tell him you love him show him. If he ask you for something don't be afraid to say you don't have it. It is going to take a long time but I find that it is worth it. I am know waiting for him to tell me how much he care for me. Right know he is depress so I just keep talking to him like it does not bother me that he is like that. When they get like that don't ask them what is wrong and expect them to tell you when he start to trust you he will open up with little words you will have to read between the lines.....Let me tell you, Like I said he is depress. I did not know. so we get in the car and he tells me that he feels like he has the whole world on his shoulder. I thought about what he said and then I hit him with some reverse physcology. They are good a given advise but don't want to take any. So I said to him if I told you it felt like the world was on my shoulder what would you say he said I don't know. I said to him you would tell me not to worry, it is already planned out and I should just relax and let it happen in time. he just looked at me and he lightened up. I did not spend any time with him that night but I got him to laugh and joke and smile. and sometimes that is easy.

Atlantic Myst,

I really don't know what he wants. As of right now I assume that me and him are done and over with for good.

He's really an a@#hole. Fri nite I seen him and I asked him if he was going to call me on Sat and he said yes, I said r u sure, and he said yes. Well I even talked to him after he got off work late Fri, well actually really early Sat morn. When we got off the phone then he said he'd call.

Well guess what I didnt hear from him all day yesterday. So this morning I sent him a text and told him thanks for calling me. He said that he told me that because I wouldnt leave him alone. How hurtful is that, it made me feel like total s*#t. Which wasnt at all true. I asked him one time when I was going to hear from him again and that's when he told me he'd call me on Sat. Then I told him that I didnt appreciate being lied to. Then he went into the whole fact of how this isnt going to work and all that. I don't understand why he's being this way. He was fine Wed nite and Thurs morn when I was with him. But now all of a sudden he's being like this? I just don't get it. I told him then why are you still seein me. He said it's not working out. I said ok then it's not working out because ur not letting it. Then he said he had to go.

I don't know what to do now? I feel like crap and like he doesnt want me. Which sounds like to me he doesnt.

What should I do?

MYCaP

Thanks sb,

I know I really need to move on. Sometimes it's just hard to realize that it failed because u wanted it to work out so bad! I like him a lot, he's a great guy, but he's just too difficult. And ur right there are other men out there that can treat me a lot better. The sad thing is that a few good men have came my way within the past 7 mos of seeing this Cap and I've let them all go.

Things need to change.

Thanks, MyCap

dear mycap,

what is ur zodaic sign?

but then again, ive read a lot of posts on this boards , women saying the same stuff u have said, n i begin to wonder is it a capricorn man or cancer man or scorp man etc.... or is it just Men.......... dunno really

Thanks alot for all you information I have a learned a lot from dealing with this one cappy and you can bet I will probably never deal with another one. He did tell me that he loves scorpio women and I often wonder why. I don't I will give him the benefit of thinking or knowing that he has one over on me. He will lose this battle I will make a point of it.

jabbarsher,

I am a taurus and my "ex" man is a capricorn, as is obvious. I don't know what the deal is. I have tried my hardest in this and I guess it's time that I give up. We got back together a week ago and then now we've gotten back to the same point as before we broke up. He just says it isn't going to work and that I need to accept it. Well as me being a taurus, I don't give up easily, that's why I want to keep trying. I know it would work, but for some reason he doesn't think it will or doesn't want it to. I told him that he's the reason from keeping it from working and then he replied with that he had to go because he was going to gym to workout. How crappy! That was yesterday morn and I haven't contacted him since and neither as he. So he really didn't say it was over, but wouldn't you gather that from the conversation?

This is so frustrating, I really like him a lot. I wish there was some way to make him realize, doesn't look like I can tho.

MyCap

dear mycap,

i have been reading ur previuos posts......... and i really do feel bad at the way he has been treating u............

my cancer man also treated me in this way, and u know what go and read most of the posts, u'll find that these other ladies out here on the board also have been treated similarly.......... and its so sad....... that we girls who are otherwise independent and self respecting become such doormats in the name of love!!!

my cancer man came close and then withdrew.... always the dsame pattern......... so much in love one moment and then so cold, no calls for weeks..........

told me off and on how much he cared, what i meant to him, but no commitment, i made the foolish mistake of being absolutely honest with him, being an aries anyway im very direct.......... so there i told him exactly how i felt, while he didnt actually say anything clearly, even when he did the next day he'd disappear for weeks ........... and pretend not to remember what all he had

neways this went on for 9 mnths.......... after tht one day suddenly just like tht, without getting angry or saying anything, i just backed off..... i never called him after tht, i told i'd call but never did, he mailed me n all, but there was just no response from my side.........

and iu know what i feel so good about my decision........... but realy why let anyone play around with ur heart?

why let him treat u like shit.... when he told u tht he told he'd call u to get u off his back!!! tht was terrible........... my suggestion is tht u shud have turned around with all ur dignity and told him that u thought he cared something for u thts u had hung around, and politely walked away........ for ever for good

plz u deserve better, so do i, and all these girls who get treated like shit just coz they are in love

jabbarsher,

Thanks for that! I know a lot of other ppl are getting treated like this by these men and I just am not understanding it. Why do guys really have to be like this? It just doesn't make sense to me.

I know I need to go on because I don't deserve to be treated like this...and I am moving on. I have not talked to him since he told me he needed to go because he was going to the gym. That was Sun morn and nothing from him since. And the thing is is that I'm fine with that. I guess maybe because I finally realized what's goin on and how he's treating me. Even tho it does suck, it's how I'm being treated. Even tho I have very strong feelings for him, they just aren't that strong and shouldn't be to put up with his crap. He doesn't deserve me. I doubt he'll ever really realize what he has lost, but I guess it doesn't matter if he does or doesn't.

I just wish there was some way to be with him and for him to not be like this. I can't change him, he has to change hisself, and he's so set in his ways and I just don't see that ever happening. I gave it all I could, put up with it for almost 7 mos, now it's time to go on with a great lesson learned.

Too bad some things don't turn out the way you want them too. Maybe tho one day I will look back and be glad things didn't work out with him. It's just so hard to realize that right now. It's crazy how his Capricorn qualities are real. I mean, he's a true, true capricorn all the way. It's crazy how sun signs can explain a person so well just because of the time period that they were born.

MyCap

Its up to ourselves to make us happy. That means... choosing a guy that will also make us happy. If a guy isn't cutting it, no matter what his sign... drop it like it's hot and leave him. There are so many other guys out there... look forward to the butterflies you're bound to get meeting one of them.
😉

Atlantic Myst,

Just out of curiosity, what makes u think that he will wonder? Not that I'm hoping that he'll start wondering and come back to me, but I just think that this will not phase him one bit and he will just go on with his life. He just seems like the type of person to continue on with his life like this never even happened because he doesn't want to face this. He's one odd ball! Maybe u can explain to me what u meant when u said that?


CreepyPants,

I know I'm the one who makes myself happy and believe me I have learned a lot out of this experience! I should have left a long time ago, but I'm the stickler who thinks that if I hang in there it will get better, boy I thought I was right for a while, but then more recently I've proved myself wrong. It wasn't getting better, so I got out. I do deserve someone better!!

Thanks, MyCap