CAPRICORN MALE HAS LOST RESPECT FOR ME!

I am and aries and have been seeing this cap male since March 2008. I only saw him about twice a month; he is a business man and works ALL the time. In addition, I know he dates other women. We stopped speaking to each other for about 2 months in June and then started back seeing each other in August 2008. During our 2 month separation, I started seeing another guy. Mr. Cap and I never established that we were in a relationship for we only saw each other occassionally, and had sex about once a month. Once Mr. Cap and I started back sleeping together in August 2008, I stopped it with the other guy.

Well I ran into the other guy in October and he asked me what had I been up to and was I dating. I told him that I was dating Mr. Cap and gave his name. Come to find out, that this guy knows Mr. Cap. He is a crazy Aquarius who went back and told Mr. Cap about our previous relationship. Now keep in mind, that during the 2 month period of separation, I would text Mr. cap but he wouldn't respond. In my texts, I told him how much I missed him and that I wasn't in a relationship with anyone. Mr. Cap sent me a text after speaking to the Aquarius guy, telling me not to call or text him anymore. He was mad at me because I lied to him. I apologized to him for about 2 weeks until he finally agreed to deal with me.

Well we started back on speaking/sleeping terms on 11/5/08 with the understanding that if I lie to him, he will never speak to me AGAIn. Now here's the problem... PRIOR to Mr Cap finding out that I was in a previous relationship with this guy he was respectful, nice, and caring to me. Now, he refers to me as a whore, he doesn't trust me, and no matter what I do to try to regain his trust, he is mean.

Last night, after we were together, I asked him if he thought I really was a whore and he said if the shoe fits wear it. He also brought up Mr. Aquarius and stated that after I sleep with him tonight, I may go and sleep with Mr. Aquarius. I have not spoken to Mr. Aquarius since the day he went back and told Mr. Cap about our previous relationship (10/25). I left his house feeling like a tramp, he wouldn't even open the door for me to my car. He used to do that all of the time. I care about him very deeply but at this point I think I will never be able to regain his respect again.

Please advise if he will ever respect me again.

You are right Leokitten! He was sleeping with other women and still is. I guess he was mad because he thought I was at home doing nothing during those 2 months HE told me not to contact him anymore.

Correction; Mr. Cap is now referring to me as a whore...not a just like me. When asked if he thought I was a whore, he stated if the shoe fits wear it.

Oh, I see we can't use the "w" word...he is referring to me as a tramp.

Let's see .. a guy treats you like shit, disrespectful to you, calls you a whore ...

.. so you sleep with him again, and then get upset because he is still treating you like shit, being disrespectful and calling you a whore.


Go figure ....

P-Angel....the question is will I ever regain my respect with this dude? I know that it is stupid of me to sleep with him again even after he tells me this but I want to regain my self respect with him.

I'm not sure about this trait of Aries .. and it seems to be apparant in most I've encountered. There is a deep need, and to conquer this, is your freedom.

From your perspective, it is quite clear that you have this intensity in you to be accepted/appreciated by this man ..... thing is, he isn't a man worthy of you for him to appreciate you.

So, here's where this deep need comes in to play with Aries people. When these kinds of situations happen, it becomes apparant that it no longer is about the other "person", as a person ... it's about this need to be accepted, regarded highly.

aries4268, you have a blind-sight here .... you can fully recognize that this man is a fucking tosser, and deserves little in terms of an honest, respectable woman for him to cherish, by describing his treatment of you ..... however, you little vision, if any, that you are seeking to gain the approval of a man not worthy of you, or valuable for this very self-esteem in which you would project onto him the responisbility of securing for you.

A person, man or woman, isn't going to respect another person to whom will take abuse. For the fact that you take his treatment of you, and during this "taking" of abuse, you would present yourself as though it is okay for him to do so, would he please respect you again, and what do you have to do to earn this .... equals the very behaviour in which causes him to not respect you .. and likely never will so long as you lay your self-respect at his feet for him to walk on.


I know you cannot see that .... most Rams cannot, and it's unclear to me as to why .. when it's right there. Virgo's do it too, and I'm not sure why for them either. I've known Tauruses to do it too ... so, maybe it's not sign related. Hmmm, will have to ponder that further.

Actually, after further thought ... maybe it's a culture thing.

Now, he refers to me as a whore, he doesn't trust me, and no matter what I do to try to regain his trust, he is mean.

He's abusive...dump him, once the cycle of abuse starts it NEVER ends and please stop telling men your business, who you are dating and with whom is your business, no one elses...period, ever and ever

The mean cap wasn't a reliable source of love nor relationship, he's probably married and was looking for an out anyway or he was looking for some degrading sex either way he's showing you his TRUE COLORS, he's an abusive assclown that needs to be bitch slapped into the 21st century, typical manwhore projecting his msyoginist ways onto you

Find a new and better lover and keep it moving, the thrill is gone

P-Ang, I respect your comments but this is not subjectively a sign thing...as you have thought about...this is clearly as a result of not understanding the meaning of relationships --- and obvious self-esteem issues.

Anyway I do not try to spare your feelings here so please excuse me. Aries4268, correct me if I'm wrong but I remember you were here a while ago about an Aqua, then a Cap...then I remember saying to you STOP HAVING SEX until you have some introspection of yourself ! YOU DO NOT RESPECT YOURSELF period so no one will...go see a professional, identify how you lost yourself and they can help you find ways to love thyself...the Cap or Aqua's opinions or any others do not matter at this point...as the way I see it, if the Cap tells you he love and respects you, you'll lap it up 😢 this may be your key to short-term happiness but it will not last.

I mean, someone calls you a tramp to your face and you go sleep with him and expect all will be well because you opened your legs?

PS: Your birth year is 1968? *sighs*

The only person you need to respect is yourself 🙂

My $ 0.02... 😛

Very shocking that a fire sign is allowing this but ARIES are famous for allowing those they desire to mistreat them. I don't get that because they tend to be loving and caring yet adamant creatures. 😢

I think Aries4268 knows that this guy does not deserve her respect (deep down). However, the bigger picture is that she's in love with him on some level and she wants back what she once had. Understandable. 😢

I have to agree with Tiki, once the abuse start there is TRULY nothing you can do to regain it. First of all, if a man has this in him and shows it to you he's not a mentally healthy guy. You don't go further with him IMO.

Next, I know what P-Angel is saying about us Virgos but we Virgo ladies do not handle this the same way. We do not allow that kind of disrespect, not that we would ever be called this that or the other. I have never been disrespected like this and can't remember any man I've dealt with calling me out of my name. I don't know a Virgo that would tolerate it, I'm sorry on that one PA. But, what I think you are saying about us is that we accept this behavior (disrespect an trampling) in other forms, such as desired our beloved and being ignored and can't understand why we can't get through to him to love us. That's a big one for us Virgo ladies. We shred all of the details and analyze over and over finding it hard to accept that we're not perfect enough for the man we so desire. As with this Aries, the question is why do we want someone who doesn't want us? Why does this Aries want someone who doesn't deserve her? It's gotta be the amount of desire and love one has for their beloved.

For everyone giving her tips on how to get with that dude, no-no-no... He doesn't deserve her and she needs to move on. Otherwise, let her run around like a chicken with her head cut off because nothing will work. He's slime, like someone stated earlier.

I SWEAR Aquarius have diarrhea of the mouth. They always go back and tell stuff. It's horrible. So, it does not surprise me that an Aqua guy went back to the Cap guy when dudes NOT even suppose to be gossiping. Sheesh... But, I know an Aqua who always threatened to rat out a Scorp gf of mine with her new dudes. So, it's something about Aqua men that refuse to let their exes move on in peace lol. I think that's an ego thing though. No one better than me. We all should believe such. 😛

My final thoughts... tell him off by calling him out on ALL of his shyt and then move on

I SWEAR Aquarius have diarrhea of the mouth
they do don't they 🙂 then act innocent...or say you're being emotional - lol

"but ARIES are famous for allowing those they desire to mistreat them."

Hmm, this is interesting but it's not just those they desire, it can be family too - there's a sense of innocence that allows them to believe a lot of Sob stories and try to help...if not mature, this can turn into some kind of mistreatment I guess...I notice it more in the ones that their surrounding have tried to wipe their fire...traces found in other signs also...

You're probably right and I was probably wrong ..... sign, culture, upbringing ... whatever the reason ...


The vicsious circle will only stop when this lady gains some self-respect.

I appreciate and agree with everyone's comments. At this time, I have decided to walk away from Mr.Cap. I was hoping to regain the respect he once showed to me PRIOR to Mr. Aquarius opening his BIG FAT mouth. However, I believe that it is hopeless and he is not deserving of me. I know that I am not a whore and don't have to prove anything for him. I do have one question: Mr. Cap is supposed to write my brother a letter of recommendation for a job. Should I still ask for the letter or just move on.

You have to keep in mind here, that you did lie to him, aries4268

"During our 2 month separation, I started seeing another guy"

"In my texts, I told him how much I missed him and that I wasn't in a relationship with anyone."


This doesn't justify him being an ass to you, once he agreed to deal with you again, as you put it, because once two people decide to let the water pass under the bridge .. then they are suppose to stand by this decision and let bygones be.

My only reason for pointing this out to you is for you to look at this for further relationships ..... if you lie, you better be prepared for the aftermath.

Food for thought ... if you hook up with a man, it would be prudent to admit to your prior relations, rather than lie to the man, for you never know when this is going to sneak up behind you.

You had a relationship during the seperation ... there was no reason to lie about that. Most likely, this CapMan isn't treating you like this because you had a relationship .... it's more probable that he is doing so because you told him you hadn't seen anyone = lie.



To answer your question .... I would walk completely away, and look for other alternatives for your brother to get a letter of recommendation.

P-Angel, you are exactly right..he didn't like the fact that I lied about what I was doing during the 2mth separation. I think in order to save my pride, I will just walk away and take this as a lesson learned....

Very shocking that a fire sign is allowing this but ARIES are famous for allowing those they desire to mistreat them.

I've seen this with both Leos and Saggies too -- the only different with a Saggie is that they will walk away at some random moment. Those with fiery charts tend to allow alot of mistreatment as opposed to airy ones.

Well I ran into the other guy in October and he asked me what had I been up to and was I dating. I told him that I was dating Mr. Cap and gave his name. Come to find out, that this guy knows Mr. Cap. He is a crazy Aquarius who went back and told Mr. Cap about our previous relationship. Now keep in mind, that during the 2 month period of separation, I would text Mr. cap but he wouldn't respond. In my texts, I told him how much I missed him and that I wasn't in a relationship with anyone. Mr. Cap sent me a text after speaking to the Aquarius guy, telling me not to call or text him anymore. He was mad at me because I lied to him. I apologized to him for about 2 weeks until he finally agreed to deal with me.

Well we started back on speaking/sleeping terms on 11/5/08 with the understanding that if I lie to him, he will never speak to me AGAIn. Now here's the problem... PRIOR to Mr Cap finding out that I was in a previous relationship with this guy he was respectful, nice, and caring to me. Now, he refers to me as a whore, he doesn't trust me, and no matter what I do to try to regain his trust, he is mean.

Wait ... until he can "deal" with you— Oh dear no no no no, I know I'm late to this but no way -- you have the wrong mindset right there ....

What you did in your previous relationahip is your business, period -- however, I believe in being honest with the new person in your life about things you've done before something serious starts -- this way, you don't have to back-track and theres no surprises. But thats what I do, so I'm not saying that this should be done in order to start something new, many people aren't comfortable with being that open.

The fact that the Aqua said all those things makes him an asshole but you can't control with someone says about you. However, the fact that he's done a totally 180 degreer because of what this douche bag did makes me wonder about his true feelings for you. If he cared about you that mauch, he'd knew that what he is doing and saying to you hurts.

I wouldn't try to make him respect me, I'd just wait and find someone else and then broke up with him on the spot -- do a totally 180 like he did on you. For goodness sakes, don't be his doormat ....


I wonder why is it that women think sex solves everything —??


Do not let him have your body, he cannot respect you with your clothes on, let alone with your clothes off. Prepare yourself to be rid of this guy.

i always respect naked ladies..but that's just me..-)

Typical guy lol

He probably just needed you as a concubine but besides that hes procrastinating.