Capricorn man after break up ---> boy oh boy....

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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
Previous post on 11/03/2015
And he broke the relationship off......He asked me if i was happy, i said yes. He says he's not. He struggels with himself. Thinks that he is cruel to me ( sometimes he says hard things, strange kind of humor) . I said that i can cope with the things he said to me, that's who he is.

He said that the relationship went to quick. We met eachother again after 31 years ( he was my lover when i was 18) and he was so glad because i was his greatest love of his life. But it all went very fast, i am in the middle of a divorce, he was living alone for several years.... He still loves me. I asked him if he was sure of the breaking up and he didn't answer that clearly. He wants to stay good friends ( not with benefits) but i ve said i couldn't because everytime i will see him my hart will bleed .... He says its not my fault the breakup, i didn't do anything wrong.... He said maybe if we had met otherwise, dated for a while , maybe that was better for us. Do you ( capricorn) knows and understand what he is trying to say? I know he still loves me, i saw it in his eyes. When he went home he kissed me on the mouth....He looked hurt and sad.he also said that i didn't know him at all. But isn't that my problem and not his?
When he left he said " send me a message every now and then.

I have the feeling that he wants to stay intouch because he isn't shore of hisself. Thats my point of view, i could be wrong ....

I love him deeply. He is a very loveble guy, a teddybear that loves my cuddles and carying very mutch. ( so he says today again) He is so funny and very sexy :-)

I will miss him....
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
Maybe you will find my text naive but i just wanted to let you know what the update was.

And he's back......It's been 8 days sinds the break up. Two days after that he started to text me asking how i was, telling me he bought a new tv (?) , asking me if i already did that repair on the house that i talked about enz...
He texted me every now and then just usual things, short stuff. Yesterday he started texting me at 12 am...
After some usual everyday things ,
he start saying " and? Still wet"
me: what wet?
He: well your wall of the house due to problems with your gutter
me: it 's drying out
he: what were you thinking of other than the gutter?You are thinking ambiguous
me: no i wasn't
he: than it is me who is thinking that. I always thought i was a follower in stead of a leader. For example if you say let's have sex than i would say yes
me: joker
he: Do you want to have sex?
me: i am in the mood but for us that's no good idea
Than a conversation about the everyday stuff
me: are you doing/feeling better sinds we broke up?
he: i don't know what's going on with me.
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
Than 2 hours no texting
me: i have some stuff in my house that is yours , i will put it in your mailbox when you aren't home.
he: I want you to come when i am home or should i come to you?
me:i don't want you to freak out seeing me
he: i will not. It's you who doesn't want to see me.
i would even let you take advantage of me
me: i 've posted a smiley, the one with the big tongue out
he: oh that tongue...
me: what?
he: thinking about an icecream. Or do you have a better idea?
me: don't know. Any suggestions?
he: maybe a lollypop. Or do you want something softer?
me: don't know. Any suggestions?
he: always. But i can't say what it is , don't know the name. You have to see it ...
1 hour no texting

he: i am so goddamed in the mood
me: in the mood for sleeping? eating? working?

1 hour no texting
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
first some other usual stuff. He returns to talk about how he is in the mood..
me: you've said to me once that you could be without sex during months
he: yes usualy, but the 7 days feels like months
why wouldn't we play a game. I will rape you and you pretend that you do not like it
me: if i said " deal" right now, what does that say about me? I will not have another boyfriend if we do this.
he: Can't you keep a secret?
me: that would not be fair.
he: do you have another boyfriend already?
me: ( i didn't answer that question) i don't do one night stand with anyone i already know
he: who says anything about one night. Could be multiple nights.
me: you are talking about friends with benefits
he: does everything has to have a name?
me: i do have some selfrespect you know
We would not be able to move on with our lives. And i would get a stamp of an " easy one"
he: easy? You are very difficult
me: and after sex? Then quick back home?
he: no, i would stay the night
me: deal
he: i will be there in half an hour

When he arived he told me that the break up was due to his fear. He wants to live alone in his house as he's been doing for the last 2 years. He likes being alone some time.

We had the greatest sex EVER. He was totally relaxed , very passionataly, the're was more passion during sex than it was during our relationship.He was very open and did let all his feelings out. ( if you know what i mean)
He stayed to sleep over and this morning he kissed me and left.
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
Posted by KittenLaRouge
So u compromised and gave up the poon without the relationship you want and now he knows he can get it whenever BUT I understand its hard to resist sex.




i know silly, but now i can let him go....knowing that what he asked me to have sex just for fun and telling me that i could keep it a secret if i do end up with another boyfriend says much about him. My respect for him is ZERO as abviouly he doesn't respect me... It hurts but that's not the friend i want.
I've posted this conversation just to show others how someone can be/think after a break up. We have to learn from it and move on. Now, i am ready to do so.
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
Posted by truecap
If anyone texts me after 11 pm, I ignore it. Late night texts are booty calls.

I'd be curious to see how he acts now. Will he turn this into a FWB? Will he act like no break up ever happened and continue with the relationship as was? Or will he disappear?



update: i send him a message saying that i will let him go. Because i have to much self respect to be somebodies fuck buddy. I've wrote that i knew he had issues about bonding, commitment enz. And that i wiched him well and hoped he will stay happy in his life.

I directly got a message back saying that he was very sorry that it didn't work out. I said " yes because i saw a future for us. But that i couldn't force him te love me" . He than said " i do love you and love being with you".
I said " well, what's the problem then." He said " it's the obligation that i feel. it freaks me out"
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by Lindaaaatje
Posted by truecap
If anyone texts me after 11 pm, I ignore it. Late night texts are booty calls.

I'd be curious to see how he acts now. Will he turn this into a FWB? Will he act like no break up ever happened and continue with the relationship as was? Or will he disappear?



update: i send him a message saying that i will let him go. Because i have to much self respect to be somebodies fuck buddy. I've wrote that i knew he had issues about bonding, commitment enz. And that i wiched him well and hoped he will stay happy in his life.

I directly got a message back saying that he was very sorry that it didn't work out. I said " yes because i saw a future for us. But that i couldn't force him te love me" . He than said " i do love you and love being with you".
I said " well, what's the problem then." He said " it's the obligation that i feel. it freaks me out"
click to expand




At least he was honest with sharing how he felt. I applaud you for sticking to your self worth.

I told you my story and it is very similar. Didn't work out for me either. But, the good news is I found someone who was even more perfect for me and you will too! Just don't be in a rush to find it. Enjoy being single for a while and get to know yourself all over again.
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
Posted by FrenchKpricorn
you can ignore me or him but you have the full reason, the thing you done 31 years ago, is still in is mind,

===>first girlfriend

===>first love is the most important

===>go to war

===>surviving

===>thinking about her

===>surviving

===>thinking about her

===>surviving

===>thinking about bae hope to see her again

===>end of the war, i'will finaly see her

===>back in town,

===>she is with someone

===>she is with my friend

===>,Qdmlj,ZPFOd;oxqksjd;qp lfjkqsdpf sdo??;fkos ;qo; WTF —?? KOFZOEKFDZDFKSD?FLSLF ALL THIS PAIN FOR THIS,

===> OK. FRIEND = JERK, GIRLFIEND = ERASED.

31 years pass,

===>single,

===>register on meetic

===>ho its my first love, 31 years had passed

===>beginning of a new love

===>beginning is good

===>memomy of the past came back

===>,Qdmlj,ZPFOd;oxqksjd;qp lfjkqsdpf sdo??;fkos ;qo; WTF —?? KOFZOEKFDZDFKSD?FLSLF ALL THIS PAIN FOR THIS,

===>she already betrayed me, i hate her for years,

===>did i love her ? did i hates her ?

===> jerk mode activated, jerk mode on




Ok , i do understand your point of view. Yet, i don't think that is the problem.
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
Posted by truecap
Posted by Lindaaaatje
Posted by truecap
If anyone texts me after 11 pm, I ignore it. Late night texts are booty calls.

I'd be curious to see how he acts now. Will he turn this into a FWB? Will he act like no break up ever happened and continue with the relationship as was? Or will he disappear?



update: i send him a message saying that i will let him go. Because i have to much self respect to be somebodies fuck buddy. I've wrote that i knew he had issues about bonding, commitment enz. And that i wiched him well and hoped he will stay happy in his life.

I directly got a message back saying that he was very sorry that it didn't work out. I said " yes because i saw a future for us. But that i couldn't force him te love me" . He than said " i do love you and love being with you".
I said " well, what's the problem then." He said " it's the obligation that i feel. it freaks me out"



At least he was honest with sharing how he felt. I applaud you for sticking to your self worth.

I told you my story and it is very similar. Didn't work out for me either. But, the good news is I found someone who was even more perfect for me and you will too! Just don't be in a rush to find it. Enjoy being single for a while and get to know yourself all over again.
click to expand




Yes Truecap, i think he is telling the truth right now. And yes, proud of myself that i told him that i could not be his fwb anymore.
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
And he came back.....after days off silence....he missed me.

Stood at my doorstep on a sunday morning but i wasn't home. Than send me a message " you were not home this morning? You left early..."
I replied " yes i was " and didn't said were i had been.

Than he called me. I was a little silent on the phone. I asked if there was something wrong. I said no.

Send another message short after with the question " what is wrong? You are not saying mutch"
I said " i am trying to forget you"
He said " that will not be possible because i want to see you this weekend.
I said " why don't you go on with your life just as it was before me"
He said " is that what you want?
I said " no , that's what you want but you dare not"
he said " that's not true"

a few hours later he stood at my door for " coffee".
I treated him as a friend, not as a ex lover.
Than he took me in his arms without saying a word. I than knew he loved me.

We ended up a week later by seeing eachother regulary and i was looking for a new place to stay alone. ( my house has been sold)
The moment i found something he said " please come and live with me"

So, the 1st of may , we will be living together in a new house that we rented together.

When i think of all the things that has happened in the last few months, i think he was testing me.
Testing if i was the right women to live with him.


This post i just an update for those who read my previous messages.
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
I just have to add that since i read so mutch about caps here on the forum, it helped me to understand how he is.

Me beeing a cancer had to ajust, not mutch but still some things that a cap cannot stand. And it makes me a better person also.
Such as, no drama, giving him his space, do not ask him " do you love me" but instead let him say it if he wants to or feel like it. Let him take the lead ( i have always been dominant, but i let him be the dominent one and have no problem with it) , Do not touch him mutch in public, or touch him if he touches you first. He doesn't like that.

He really is a nice warm man with a big " mouth" but with a very soft hard.
He likes me taking care of him, to cuddle him, massage him and making him " softer so to speak.

He said " when you touch me i can forget all the things that are in my head. You can clear my head he says.