Confusing Cappie lady

I met her through a mutual friend new years eve 2011. We were strictly acquittance's like, light and bright conversations and what not. We kept in touch through facebook and occasionally called each other, eventually the calls got more deep and meaningful.. we just talked for hours.. and then her father died and she was a mess. She was working really hard in keeping it together and she did a really good job at it too..but I felt she needed more support and I consciously decided to step in and be more supportive.

She got very comfortable around me to the point that she used to cry a lot around me when she was mourning and talking to me about her father.. she used to do that for hours and hours of talking and crying and me trying to keep her in a positive space and so on.

Eventually she got back her self and our friendship became much richer and stronger.. we were very good friends for most part of 2011 with hundreds of hours of conversations and support. And then she disappeared. Not literally.. but we somehow got back to light and bright. No matter how hard I try, things are superficial. And she keeps emailing me all the time without saying anything.. like sharing some recipe she found or wanting my opinion about some dress or something.

But now.. it's completely empty space. My birthday was this week.. she didn't even send me anything through fb.. and today she sent me a "hey you" in facebook. I'm kind of sad about all of this. I thought cappie's aren't into games?

I feel like i'm missing something, cause this doesn't make sense to me. Am I missing something or am I just over thinking it?

her chart:

Sun Capricorn 18.46
Moon Capricorn 2.38
Mercury Capricorn 5.13
Venus Capricorn 16.18
Mars Scorpio 15.39
Jupiter Aquarius 20.05
Saturn Sagittarius 6.01
Uranus Sagittarius 19.59
Neptune Capricorn 3.55
Pluto Scorpio 7.05
Lilith Taurus 24.37
Asc node Taurus 6.13

You havent exactly taken the initiative to take things on to the next level have you?, so seriously..wtf do you expect? its YOUR job, mate, you're the man here. Women are indirect, capricorn or not. Wanna date her? ask her out, forget about analyzing her behaviour before you make your move, she's looking to contact you all the time, duh! what other hints do you need?

I didn't want to approach her like that when she was mourning. No point in trying to start something at a bad time in her life. But as soon as things got to a remotely good place, she went very cold very quickly.

Ok, but what do you want from her?

She might be feeling self conscious about letting go of all of the emotion. I am Cap Sun and Moon. I am always appreciative of support and feel very comfortable sharing at the time, but after the fact, I become aware of what I have shown. I worry about letting my guard down to people and what they must think of me now - Cap sun and especially Moon are very controlled emotionally and are actually proud of that. Letting someone see those emotions is very intimate. I know, I know, its better to let people in.

She may have you in the friend zone, also.

To be honest, I was interested in her, very interested. I just didn't want to make a wrong move in a bad time, so I went with the lets be friends for the time being thing. If anything, I showed my intentions by how above and beyond I went to comfort her and be there for her. And then she goes that cold that quickly? That grabbed my attention, but then ignoring my birthday.. that pissed me off a little.. but then blatantly acting as if nothing happened and everything is fine.. all of these things combined.. kind of puts her in a bad place in my book.

sounds like being friend zoned now that someone said it.

I forget people's birthdays all the time! Even my best friends!

I don't forget much.. and it was on facebook!.. it was almost as if ignoring it was a deliberate effort. and that's what's confusing me. anyway, as immature is this will sound, being ignored at this level is a deal breaker for me.

How old are yall?

Sorry, but youre making mountains out of molehills. If shes nice to you all the time otherwise, what makes you think she forgot about your birthday on purpose? Stop being so negative and sensitive. Besides I dont know what you mean by "deal breaker" since you havent initiated much of a deal to begin with.

@DeathbySnuSnu

Just my $ 0.02.

Her "deepness" is what probably attracted you to her. You are a Cancer so it wasn't that hard for her to open up to you. And that's what she did at first. Not without a purpose, though (Mars in Scorpio). However, it seems something went wrong and she decided to pull away. Maybe she is just feeling inadequate (uber Cap she is). I think she still cares about you and still wants to be your friend, but she probably thought she was taking advantage of your kindness. If you opened up to her (just like she did), that would give her a chance to return the favor. Chances are she won't be as delicate as you would expect, though.

Hopefully that helps.

Yeah, I think the opening up thing is what's throwing this off. You've seen her at her most vulnerable points and maybe she's doing a 360 in hopes of erasing what you've seen, and the fact that she let you in in that way. Plus, on top of that, she probably has feelings for you. Just think. A normally cool person feeling comfortable enough to cry on your shoulder and once the tears have dried the two of you just sitting there looking at each-other basically. Where does she go from there? I completely understand you looking at the timing, but also realize that she may not necessarily know how to act anymore. Depending on the Cap, we can also be pretty weird, and sometimes the more we like someone the more we withdraw out of fear, I guess..

Maybe she felt that she was depressing to be around with before. Maybe someone else pointed it out and she didn't want to be all doom and gloom and wanted to see if she can be happy and light hearted around you as much as she can share her darkest moments. To us someone who is there whether it all fun and games and when its depressing is someone we can feel secure with.

Also what shaka said. She probably thinks she may have come off as clingy at a time when she needed a friend so she is keeping her distance. If you want something more you'll have to step up and not expect her to come to you all the time.

Sorry about the late reply.

We're both in our mid twenties.

I know how immature most of what I said sounds, I just felt like i deserved more. After all the effort and time I put into that relationship, I don't even get a simple happy birthday? not even a phone call? a text message? not even on facebook? the same place that tells you when is someone's birthday and makes it quick and easy to just say anything? I think I deserve more than nothing.

The more I think of it, the more I realise that I am being taken for granted, even if as a friend. And that's what's really upsetting me cause I really liked her and we had loads of good times in the recent past.

Your screen name is amazing

Posted by DeathbySnuSnu
Sorry about the late reply.

We're both in our mid twenties.

I know how immature most of what I said sounds, I just felt like i deserved more. After all the effort and time I put into that relationship, I don't even get a simple happy birthday? not even a phone call? a text message? not even on facebook? the same place that tells you when is someone's birthday and makes it quick and easy to just say anything? I think I deserve more than nothing.

The more I think of it, the more I realise that I am being taken for granted, even if as a friend. And that's what's really upsetting me cause I really liked her and we had loads of good times in the recent past.

This post proves you havent listened to anything we have said, I think youre just one of those people who likes to hear himself talk.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Your screen name is amazing

Yeah, isn't it? Fucked to death by horny Amazon women.

Heh.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazon_Women_in_the_Mood

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Your screen name is amazing

Thank you!

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

Posted by DeathbySnuSnu
Sorry about the late reply.

We're both in our mid twenties.

I know how immature most of what I said sounds, I just felt like i deserved more. After all the effort and time I put into that relationship, I don't even get a simple happy birthday? not even a phone call? a text message? not even on facebook? the same place that tells you when is someone's birthday and makes it quick and easy to just say anything? I think I deserve more than nothing.

The more I think of it, the more I realise that I am being taken for granted, even if as a friend. And that's what's really upsetting me cause I really liked her and we had loads of good times in the recent past.

This post proves you havent listened to anything we have said, I think youre just one of those people who likes to hear himself talk.

click to expand

Damn dude, didn't think you needed a pat in the back everytime you said something sensible.. my bad.
plus.. what makes you think its "himself".. not "herself" ?
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Just messing with ya.. I do have a magnificent penis. I heard what you said, it makes sense but it doesnt answer what i was curious about.

Posted by Wynter

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Your screen name is amazing

Yeah, isn't it? Fucked to death by horny Amazon women.

Heh.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazon_Women_in_the_Mood<div class="bqfade">click to expand

you do your homework.............. I like it.

Posted by FoxGlove
Death: I feel ya on the birthday thing. My cap best friend forgot my birthday last month and I was devastated. I'm not Cancer, but I have a lot of it in my chart (rising, venus, merc...) and, I can tell you, birthdays are a big deal to me. Not so to everyone, though. I mean, he's apologized, and it STILL stings. But, we talked, he did apologize profusely and said he "felt sick" when he realized he'd forgotten (even though, he too could have seen it on fb very easily) -- but, I guess I just believe him. For my own sake. If he's that much of a jerk on purpose -- time will reveal it. My advice -- talk to her and maybe even tell her you were hurt when she missed your birthday. Could be a very revealing conversation, as ours was.

I think i will when im not as emotionally charged. Thank you for your advice.

Posted by DeathbySnuSnu

Posted by Wynter

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Your screen name is amazing

Yeah, isn't it? Fucked to death by horny Amazon women.

Heh.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazon_Women_in_the_Mood

you do your homework.............. I like it.

click to expand

Amazon women FTW, I guess

That's a good point too Metoo.

Posted by DeathbySnuSnu
Sorry about the late reply.

We're both in our mid twenties.

I know how immature most of what I said sounds, I just felt like i deserved more. After all the effort and time I put into that relationship, I don't even get a simple happy birthday? not even a phone call? a text message? not even on facebook? the same place that tells you when is someone's birthday and makes it quick and easy to just say anything? I think I deserve more than nothing.

The more I think of it, the more I realise that I am being taken for granted, even if as a friend. And that's what's really upsetting me cause I really liked her and we had loads of good times in the recent past.

You'll grow out of Birthdays soon. Once you hit around 27 or 28 you will WISH NO ONE KNEW YOU WERE GETTING OLD...

Enjoy your time with your petty " she forgot my birthday boo hoo" party of one because those days are precious. I did it too until I turned 26. Then I just wished no one knew I was getting older.

I don't mind getting older either. But I don't really care about birthdays anymore.

I agree with Kaboom btw I forget my own birthday Caps are Cats slow to open keep digging away and be patient also relax.

I'm a big advocate of NOT overanalyzing and just doing the plain old, no bs, communicating with one another.

I used to do this guessing game with friends of over working every possibility under the sun. In the end I realized I did all those miles in my head and was still standing in the same place, not having communicated with the one person I should have approached all along.

Just talk to the lady. Actions in general do speak louder than words. But if a particular action, or lack there of, is in question, then ask her. You can't really start a relationship, or cultivate a deeper one, by communicating with yourself and an astrology board. I know it's crazy talk, but we're here trying to cipher a complete stranger based on stars. Sorry guys... I'm just trying to give a little perspective. It doesn't even seem like DeathbySnuSnu is confident he really knows her.

And may I recommend wearing Chanel Bleu for men when you see her next... weak in the knees.

i try to embrace everything about life... including getting older and gray hairs. part of me kinda looks forward to being a silvery gray haired old lady. lol