Expectations and Standards

Now we have expectations for ourselves and hold others to various standards, depending on our upbringing and other variables, like the social status of the person(s) being judged.

The Homeless Man, The Children, CO-Workers and your Spouse are all held to different standards.
One group can have privileges that others do not.

Since we're harsh critics to ourselves, a lot of us can also accidently break people by holding them to too high of a standard.

However, I am curious about what if we didn't, we let that go just went through life without expecting to meet any sort of expectation or standard. How do you think it play out in your own lives?

I think it would isolate me, unintentionally. Since if I don't care about anything or anyone, I don't concern myself with it/them unless I'm under some sort of social obligation or whatever it is I'm doing gives them a sort of temporary relevance. You see if I care about something, expectations and standards always follow. I'm selective in what I do and who I hang out with and who I open up to. I can not bring myself to go the overly accepting route and just take whatever is given and not allow myself to feelings towards actions or outcomes.

I think it would kill me a bit, in fact, since if I just stopped caring and didn't cling to what makes me angry, sad or happy, I'd have no fuel to change the situation or improve it, etc. Ironically, I feel that having no expectations would be the best way to guard yourself from emotional pains. You can't have fire without fuel, so if nothing can trigger an emotional response from you, it can't hurt you.

True aloofness, no matter what they say or do, it makes no difference to you, since you expect nothing from them. Their existence gets as much of a rise from you as tying your shoes or blinking.

I don't think I'd be able to relate to a person like that at all, so I can just imagine how anyone around me would feel if I was like that.

It's like the ultimate form of disassociation, just outright kill any chance for anything to reach you mentally/emotionally.

Posted by beautifuldiaster


Does any of this make sense or did I go off the deep end on my own tangent and ignore your question? 😱

I follow you.
Just if someone treats me negatively, I want to put them in their place. It's a reflex that I don't wish to be rid of.

You know that kinda sounds like, be the responsible adult and take care of all the children (i.e. everyone else in the world). As much as emotionally/mentally fulfilling to help others, there are others beyond a person's reach and some that don't wish to be helped/saved.

I suppose you learn the signs of those type of people as you grow older.

What brought it up? Came up while I was thinking of why Cap board doesn't seem to have that many interesting threads this week. 😆

Posted by beautifuldiaster
When someone treats me negatively I feel bad for them .. anyone who causes harm does so out of personal hurt and I try to understand that.

Showing them to behave would be the more mature thing to do.
However if you're dealing with a brat that indulgences in their childishness, wouldn't it just be easier to humble them instead of just letting them act however they want without consequences that can see/understand right away?

I'd found myself in many more low quality relationships

Here's the thing Sir:

Are you perfect?

Are you God?

Do you never make mistakes?

Now, as a Cap, you will no doubt answer Yes, Yes, and No.

But as a human, you can ONLY answer No, No, and Yes.

Therefore, why should your expectations and standards toward others be unreasonably high or overly critical?

Why does it need to be all or nothing?

That quote of Scott Peck is quite appropriate for a good number of Caps who see evil all around them, but who refuse to see in what ways they actually contribute to that evil.

Posted by SpiceNSugar
Here's the thing Sir:

Are you perfect?

Are you God?

Do you never make mistakes?

Now, as a Cap, you will no doubt answer Yes, Yes, and No.

But as a human, you can ONLY answer No, No, and Yes.

Therefore, why should your expectations and standards toward others be unreasonably high or overly critical?

Why does it need to be all or nothing?

That quote of Scott Peck is quite appropriate for a good number of Caps who see evil all around them, but who refuse to see in what ways they actually contribute to that evil.

Simple, no expectations and no standards = No incentive to change.
I'm not god or would want to be perfect, considering what happens to perfect people...*cough*DEATH*cough*

How reasonable the expectations are is a subjective issue. Some think regular bathing is a standard one must meet, while others don't consider it an issue. See what I mean?

Posted by SpiceNSugar
Here's the thing Sir:

Are you perfect?

Are you God?

Do you never make mistakes?

Now, as a Cap, you will no doubt answer Yes, Yes, and No.

But as a human, you can ONLY answer No, No, and Yes.

Therefore, why should your expectations and standards toward others be unreasonably high or overly critical?

Why does it need to be all or nothing?

That quote of Scott Peck is quite appropriate for a good number of Caps who see evil all around them, but who refuse to see in what ways they actually contribute to that evil.

Bam