Extremely confused by cap guy

Hi all. Some advice needed.
So I had some work doing on my house a while back. Plastering. The guy who did it was instantly hitting on me, asking me questions the whole weekend, asking me what type of guy I go for. He said things like we would make a great team. I was taken aback a little because he's very attractive and well, I don't do too well with flirting, like I don't think I'm a natural flirt (bizarre because I'm a leo, aries rising and gemini moon) I'm quite shy when it comes to flirting.
Anyway, the following week he text me asking me to leave a good review for him. So I did, he made flirtatious comments in his text. I flattered him a little and left it at that. Genuinly thinking nothing would come of it.

3 weeks later he sent me a msg on whatsapp, saying 'look who popped up on my chat' he asked me if I had any plans for the weekend. I made a few jokes and replied that I didn't have any plans. So he invited me out. Said he wanted to pick me up etc. I agreed happily, because I am trying to take up most offers in life now. (9 months out of a soul destroying relationship).

He picked me up, and left his car on a hotel car park, explained he had a room but seemed to be testing my reaction to that. I was being intentionally casual and replied yes it's a good idea as it saves taxi fares.

We went out, had a few drinks had a laugh on a karaoke and then bam.. couldn't take his hands off me. The chemistry was insane. We went back to the room, and we slept together, again- insane.

The next morning he dropped me back and explained he felt guilty about what happened in terms of his ex. Even though he hadn't don't anything wrong. I later messaged him and said if he felt so strongly he should try to make amends with her and I was sorry for being a party to the way he was feeling. I genuinly felt gutted because on all levels we connected, but I'm not ready to be in a relationship and I have children whom I have to be cautious for. I simply thought, that kind of love should not be wasted. She (his ex) should know how he feels.

He blocked me on whatsapp.
3 weeks later I texted him and said I was pretty sure I had been blocked. I was not sure why. But I needed some more work doing soon and I'd struggle to find a better person for the job. He replied yes he had blocked me as it was best. But he would do the work no problem. He text me last Friday saying he'll come and take a look tomorrow. I asked him what time as I needed to be out by 12:30. No reply.

Does anyone have any idea what is going on here?
Tia

He had a good time with you, but that's about it. He's not over his ex..that's a problem, a risk.

I'd fade away, and also find another contractor.

Don't be a filler for anyone.

Thanks. I totally agree. I just do not get why he would suggest he come and take a look after he has blocked me. Perhaps a massive test? Like you say, I could just be the filler, for him to explore his feelings for his ex.

Posted by busilizi87
Thanks. I totally agree. I just do not get why he would suggest he come and take a look after he has blocked me. Perhaps a massive test? Like you say, I could just be the filler, for him to explore his feelings for his ex.

You called him for another project, so he's assuming you like his work, and it's business. Obviously, he thinks there's no hard feelings between you two, if you're going to ask him to do more work for you.

He may not be opposed to another romp in the hay, but I don't think he is ready or wants another relationship.

He's unprofessional. Should not sleep with his clients. I wonder how many OTHER female clients he's done this to. I'm not sure why you felt gutted, he rejected you by bringing up his ex.

If he felt guilty he would not have got the room in the first place. He was searching for an OUT and you gave him one by telling him to go back to the ex, BINGO!! She fell for my FAKERY, now I can block her and it'll look like I'm taking her advice and I can AVOID looking like a complete assclown jerk that just wanted some booty.

He's the assclown that pursued sex and now he feels bad, bullshit, he felt bad because you're a wonderful woman and he knew his next jerk move was to block you and he simply felt like a loser for being that way with you. Don't trust him. Move on to a new contractor, keep looking until you find one that's professional.

The next guy that plays this sort of game on you just politely call a cab or get back in your car and abandon ship.

Wow, you're confused by this? This guy is a total sleeze and got some action with you. Don't think for a second he wants anything serious. Yes, he may have felt guilty but who cares how he feels. He doesn't want to pursue anything - he's not over his ex. My motto: if a guy rushes into anything fast, he will leave just as as quickly.

How do you know he's a cap?

Wow. Thanks guys, you've totally confirmed my suspicions. Lessons learned here. He told me his birthday, and I guess the fact that he's a cap made me think it's a bit out of the ordinary to have a one night stand for him. I did tell him I'm not in a position to have a relationship, I told him I had fun. Totally don't see the reason for him being an ass about it.
It's possible that he fed me all the lines, he seemed to take an active interest in my subject of study. He wanted to know what my plans were for the future in typical cap fashion. But then again if he has very high standards I guess even a one night candidate needs to measure up.

It's all so obvious now.
Thanks again guys.

You were both clearly not wanting anything but a bit of fun(that's how I read it anyway) find a new contractor hun Š

Posted by busilizi87
He picked me up, and left his car on a hotel car park, explained he had a room
Tia

Just the fact that he assumed you would go for that should have been your red flag to say no. I'm curious why you weren't offended by his assumption that you'd put out on the first date.

Posted by busilizi87
the fact that he's a cap made me think it's a bit out of the ordinary to have a one night stand for him.

So naive. You don't think caps can have one night stands? Sure we can. We just don't take the other party seriously who's willing to do it with us.

Posted by busilizi87
tI did tell him I'm not in a position to have a relationship, I told him I had fun. .

click to expand

You slept with him too, blantantly telling him you do not want a relationship. You're just as guilty of using him as he used you.

DO NOT SLEEP WITH A CAP RIGHT AWAY PEOPLE. Male or female. That's a red flag. You will not be taken seriously most cases.

This whole "I never do this on the first date" thing that many people like to say do not work with us. We watch a person's actions, even if you're really not the type to do that initially, your actions show us that you do.

Caps want someone that can gain their respect. Yes, Caps have one night stands, if anyone can separate emotions, it's a Cap, especially the males. Lol

The issue isn't the sleeping with him part. I'm a big girl, we're both adults. I genuinly have no issues with anyone sleeping with anyone on first date, obviously as long as it's consensual. But for the record when he pulled up at the hotel car park, I already had my return taxi booked. It was a case of I had too much to drink, i literally got back to the room and flaked in the bed. Sleeping together happened next morning. Again another lesson learned! Haha (these things happen), I like to think of this as a learning curve after being in relationship for so long.

My confusion stems from the aftermath.

Thanks for all your help.

The aftermath is obvious. He's no longer interested.

Posted by angel43

Posted by Greentea
DO NOT SLEEP WITH A CAP RIGHT AWAY PEOPLE. Male or female. That's a red flag. You will not be taken seriously most cases.

This whole "I never do this on the first date" thing that many people like to say do not work with us. We watch a person's actions, even if you're really not the type to do that initially, your actions show us that you do.

Caps want someone that can gain their respect. Yes, Caps have one night stands, if anyone can separate emotions, it's a Cap, especially the males. Lol

Not always the case greentea. I waited a month to be intimate with my last cap, but for the first time in my life, I did not wait that long with the cap I am with now if you know what I mean. I will be moving into his home next month and we are getting married :-)

click to expand

Congratulations to you both!! 🙂

There are always exceptions to the rule. I'm sure there was some kind of strong connection, that wasn't superficial.

is your name tia ?

Hi all. Coming on here has really helped me work this out... when things were so obvious I just needed that extra nod you know? I've realised I'm just not ready for the dating scene, so many slip ups. I find it a bit brutal. Going to retreat and reflect.

My name is liz. The tia- (thanks in advance)

Posted by Greentea
DO NOT SLEEP WITH A CAP RIGHT AWAY PEOPLE. Male or female. That's a red flag. You will not be taken seriously most cases.

This whole "I never do this on the first date" thing that many people like to say do not work with us. We watch a person's actions, even if you're really not the type to do that initially, your actions show us that you do.

Caps want someone that can gain their respect. Yes, Caps have one night stands, if anyone can separate emotions, it's a Cap, especially the males. Lol

Ehhh... that's not always a 'red flag'. I know a Cap male who met a girl off Tinder, they went out TWICE had sex that second time, she became pregnant, now they're engaged. I also know a few other Cap males and females who have slept with people right away only to have it develop into a serious, long term relationship. Clearly, that isn't the case with this situation, but it does happen.

Posted by carefreecap77

Posted by Greentea
DO NOT SLEEP WITH A CAP RIGHT AWAY PEOPLE. Male or female. That's a red flag. You will not be taken seriously most cases.

This whole "I never do this on the first date" thing that many people like to say do not work with us. We watch a person's actions, even if you're really not the type to do that initially, your actions show us that you do.

Caps want someone that can gain their respect. Yes, Caps have one night stands, if anyone can separate emotions, it's a Cap, especially the males. Lol

Ehhh... that's not always a 'red flag'. I know a Cap male who met a girl off Tinder, they went out TWICE had sex that second time, she became pregnant, now they're engaged. I also know a few other Cap males and females who have slept with people right away only to have it develop into a serious, long term relationship. Clearly, that isn't the case with this situation, but it does happen.

click to expand

I don't deny it doesn't happen, I'm pretty sure it's not the norm though. I know I woukd see it as a red flag if some guy tried to sleep with me right away. I know a Cap male friend that goes on dating sites just to get laid. He said he'd never wife any of them up though. They put out too quick.

He's actually still sleeping with a now married woman that he met on there. He calls her whenever he's in her town on business. He told me not to judge him when he told me, I smacked his arm all over amd said what is wring with you?!. He said hey, if shes going to be a lil hoe, Im not gonna stop her. (Then he proceeds to chuckle)

Posted by Greentea

Posted by carefreecap77

Posted by Greentea
DO NOT SLEEP WITH A CAP RIGHT AWAY PEOPLE. Male or female. That's a red flag. You will not be taken seriously most cases.

This whole "I never do this on the first date" thing that many people like to say do not work with us. We watch a person's actions, even if you're really not the type to do that initially, your actions show us that you do.

Caps want someone that can gain their respect. Yes, Caps have one night stands, if anyone can separate emotions, it's a Cap, especially the males. Lol

Ehhh... that's not always a 'red flag'. I know a Cap male who met a girl off Tinder, they went out TWICE had sex that second time, she became pregnant, now they're engaged. I also know a few other Cap males and females who have slept with people right away only to have it develop into a serious, long term relationship. Clearly, that isn't the case with this situation, but it does happen.

I don't deny it doesn't happen, I'm pretty sure it's not the norm though. I know I woukd see it as a red flag if some guy tried to sleep with me right away. I know a Cap male friend that goes on dating sites just to get laid. He said he'd never wife any of them up though. They put out too quick.

He's actually still sleeping with a now married woman that he met on there. He calls her whenever he's in her town on business. He told me not to judge him when he told me, I smacked his arm all over amd said what is wring with you?!. He said hey, if shes going to be a lil hoe, Im not gonna stop her. (Then he proceeds to chuckle)

click to expand

"if shes going to be a lil hoe, Im not gonna stop her." Well if she's a "hoe" for giving it up so easy, shouldn't that make him one as well? Lol...Men and their "logic"

Posted by busilizi87
Extremely confused by cap guy

lol

Thought you all would like an update.. this capricorn guy turned out to be a complete player. Him and his 'ex' hadn't split. He got in touch after some casual, I declined. He explained that his ex was still living at home. Alarm bells! Then he added me on fb, after some investigation I gathered that his gf is leaving for her home country for the summer, and he goes looking for casual encounters whilst she goes away. What a jerk. Safe to say, I've learnt so much.

In better news, I went out beholding my sharper senses. I met a delightful young leo. I already feel much better, being a leo myself, and him being younger than me I understand where he's at and he's open and honest about it. But he does it with respect, holds deep conversations with me, holds me all night. This is just what I need at this stage- I know where I stand and I'm not left trying to figure out what's going on.