how does he really feel about me/ this new girl?

so i've known this guy about three years now, we've always been friends in the sense that we haven't gotten together but anyway he's said a lot of stuff to me in that time whereby people have said he's obviously in to me and how can i question it and then others have said that he could be in love with me, but anyway its just in my nature to question everything so i just keep changing my mind about him and get confused ( but i do because he'll always at one point of another mention some other girl, but right now i'll only talk about a specific person)

a brief history: - in the time i've known him as far as i know he's not been with anyone else..
- at the beginning when we first met he told me he wasn't interested in a relationship with anyone..and how he wanted to focus on his work first and then he might consider someone in the future...
- he's said some things to me that everyone else has decided he's definitely interested in me/likes me/for example at
1. one time he said to me he's the kind of person to hide his feelings but he had to tell me that i made him feel crazy inside lol.and that every single day he'd be wishing i was there with him kinda thing and that when we lost contact it broke his heart and he wasn't thinking about anyone else...
2. we did argue a couple of times over stupid things and then we stopped talking to each other and once we started speaking again..he'd say he felt really depressed and couldnt eat/sleep etc and he felt he lost someone really special to him..and that he never wants to argue with me again..
3. when i'm out with people he'd try to indirectly find out if i was with any other guys..or if i'v got anyone else that i like
4. he's talked about marriage with me..asked me what i'd want my ideal marriage to b like...but it wasn't like he said what would happen if me and you got married (nothing obvious like that) just in a very indirect way..once he even said why dont me and you just get married now..and i was like what? and he said oh dont worry im only joking

more recently :
he hinted at me through a song that he wanted something with me as in a relationship...
i admit at the time i acknowledge it but didnt really tell him what he might have wanted to hear..
i said i wanted to stay single for now (nothing against him)..just that i didnt want an other half...mostly because i like my independence and the single life..

a few months after that along comes another girl (six months ago now)
he told me they ac

he told me they actually went out together..to the cinema and then chilled out at some park or something..he kept re iterating he wasnt interested in her but she was all over him and she told him she loved him and she wanted to be with him all of that..and that she KISSED HIM...but he stopped anything else from happening.and he did also highlight the fact that she was so "hot" and "sexy" and any other word you can think of..

and even when we were on the phone..this girl would keep calling him
anyway i just acted kool..and listened to his story..and then maybe a few days after he told me about her i messaged him and said so..how is your girlfriend? (i meant it in a jokey way) he said shes not my girl i don't see her that way..i said ye right of course..that swhy you kissed her..he said well i enjoyed it plus she kissed me..
and out of the blue... he just said to me..(all in text messages however)...
im not interested in her ..i want you ..i didnt understand how one day he's out with this girl and telling me how they kissed and all of that and then the next second he's telling me he wanted me
so i just brushed it off..and said ok ye right sure..he said think about it...
seriously...
i want you so badly ..i said really?? because you do have alll those other girls who are falling all over themselves for you (he told me about multiple other girls who liked him and who he always found so attractive and hot etc)
he said i dont want them though...
anyway he left it at that and then said he was only joking ..

ok so six months later (which is now)...
me and him are talking...and guess who calls him again while me and him are on the phone..yes that "hot" girl...
and i was surprised because at the time he said to me six months back..shortly after him and that girl went out together and he suddenly told me he wanted me..that he would stop talking to her because he didnt see her that way and he didnt want to lead her on..
so then now i find out he's talking to her still..i obviously don't have the right to be like so i thought you were going to stop speaking to her...but i just dont understand what changed his mind..i dont know if they have been out since ..

but whats clear to me is this girl really likes him..and won't stop till she gets him/ even after he apparently rejected her back then and right now it seems that he's not really stopping her

and at the same time he's continuing contact with me..continuing to speak about marriage ..and as if

Posted by 88NPPISCES
I don't understand women sometimes. I must be from a different planet or something.

But someone just like him (just not a cap) said the same things to me.

"Oh I want you" I always think of you" and so on. But now I am seeing this girl, blah blah blah.

I said "nice" how did you find her. Then he starts telling me.

I said hmmmm very nice, then why are you being so UNGRATEFUL texting other women?, I dont want YOU BACK". sorry".

He said "you never had me"

I said " I never wanted you" lmfao

Im so glad he stopped texing me. Im sorry but I don't fall for men's BULL Shhhhtt.

They either want me or not want me and respect me from day one, and If they feel the need to mention other women to me and how they are so hot, they can go to hell in that same moment.

I'm with ya. I'm from the same planet. Lol.

To the OP- I think he's not interested in you and never was. I think he says things like that because you feed into it and it boosts his ego.

I've been where you are and I am here to tell you, if he wanted you, he'd have you by now. He's just playing with you. It took me a long time to wake up and realize this when I was in the same situation and I will never do it again.

Haha. Thanks. I actually own her. Her name is Courtney.

Hmmmm...well, I don't know. Maybe he doesn't have her by now because he thinks she doesn't want him OR he is afraid to go full throttle and ruin the friendship. I hear what yall are saying, but....

Maybe he really does like her. He's told her and she has turned him down time after time. He could be stringing this other girl along for obvious reasons that men do that. I think he wants to be with his best friend, but he's resigned to the fact that she doesn't want him. So he is saving face and has settled for the friendship.

My question is: Candy, do you want him and think of him in a romantic way?

Posted by 88NPPISCES
I don't understand women sometimes. I must be from a different planet or something.

But someone just like him (just not a cap) said the same things to me.

"Oh I want you" I always think of you" and so on. But now I am seeing this girl, blah blah blah.

I said "nice" how did you find her. Then he starts telling me.

I said hmmmm very nice, then why are you being so UNGRATEFUL texting other women?, I dont want YOU BACK". sorry".

He said "you never had me"

I said " I never wanted you" lmfao

Im so glad he stopped texing me. Im sorry but I don't fall for men's BULL Shhhhtt.

They either want me or not want me and respect me from day one, and If they feel the need to mention other women to me and how they are so hot, they can go to hell in that same moment.

you know what sometimes i think he can go to hell lol

but then the other times i think how am i acting/sounding towards him to make him think it is ok to mention the other hot chicks..and maybe he is looking for a reaction..and perhaps to see how what i actually think about him

unfortunately for him i've never ever ever broken down and become all dramatic about it...
my reaction is completely indifferent as if he's just a friend..end of
im not going ot give him that satisfaction

Posted by pssymonstaa
So are you trying to get with the boy or get him to leave you alone.

Because he likes you and has been ready for some time now..
And he does sound like hes into you, but when you keep shutting the guy down that many times... ya knoww...
I suspect he doesnt have THAT many girls all over him. 75% of them he made up to get you jealous and see if youd run to him.

But you didnt. So you really cant blame him if he went looking for love somewhere else while you were going back and forth on the issue.
But then again Capricorns might as well be aliens i cant figure them out.

in answer to your question...neither..im not trying to get with him...(im nothing like that east girl)..and im not trying to get him to leave me alone

but do you understand why i might be doubtful sometimes as to how he feels..if he felt that strongly about me..why would he not too long after telling me he wanted to be in a relationship with me..(as indirect as it was)..a couple of months later tell me he went out wit this "sexy hot pretty" chick...and let her do things to him lol :/ :s :s..and kiss him and jump on him etc etc...
did he not at any point in time when that was happening and that girl was kissing him think about me...or think oh wait i shouldnt be letting this girl get so close to me because i like someone else??

but then he came back and told me in very specific detail everything that happened between them :s//again do you tell someone you like stuff like that??
and also then following that with i dont want her i want you :o
like what the hell lol

and on top of that why is he still speaking to her now?? months and months after he told me he didnt want to lead her on??

so one time he's calling me and talking about marriage...one day...
then the next day hes probably speaking to her about who knows what...

:/

Posted by 88NPPISCES
lol Capgirl88.. then I call you Capgirl88. hehehe

It must be our scorp moons that don't like this stuff. I am a jealous woman. poor guy if he mentions another woman in my face. If he really likes me or wanted me, he sure will cry after I get ride of his a@@@@@.

That is why I never mention men to other men. that is so disrespectful.

I like to work things out with him and all but bringing another one in the picture to make him jealous, I don't thinkso. I wouldn't be that stupid to lose someone I cared for.

seee thats exactly how i think..if you really like someone..why would you be speaking of some other hot chick...hence my thread question!!!

and that then makes me wonder is he really into me or not..but then if he actually wasnt then all the things hes said to me in the past... not least..how me and him should get married :/
would be totally ridiculous

Posted by truecap
Hmmmm...well, I don't know. Maybe he doesn't have her by now because he thinks she doesn't want him OR he is afraid to go full throttle and ruin the friendship. I hear what yall are saying, but....

Maybe he really does like her. He's told her and she has turned him down time after time. He could be stringing this other girl along for obvious reasons that men do that. I think he wants to be with his best friend, but he's resigned to the fact that she doesn't want him. So he is saving face and has settled for the friendship.

My question is: Candy, do you want him and think of him in a romantic way?

you know what part of what you're saying might be right..
i think i ahve given him some indication as to what i think about him..but of course nothing like that crazy hot chick that he keeps talking about...

she would be like hey i love you, i miss you, can we meet up, i cant live without you, all in one sentence...

whereas i would be like.. i might be free in a few weeks time then maybe we can meet up lol..
without the other soppy romantic expressions


so why do you think he is stringing this girl along?? i know maybe its obvious to everyone else but me lol.
do you think he prfers me to her then—?

the thing with me is im not as upfront and obvious when it comes to declarations lol..so if there was a competition bewtween me and this girl she would win..as she would run all the way around the world for him...and i would be sitting at home and pretending like i dont care lol...

Posted by 88NPPISCES
Well you either show him you want him, you care about him. Or you don't and keep being his friend listening about every woman he meets.

Because sure it looks like the situation is not going to change unless you put your feet on the ground & be assertive. that you do want him as more than a friend and that you will not tolerate other women being mentioned. He will respect you for that. If that is not what he wants then he'll just look for another woman who can take his ADORABLE words, and B.S talk about other women.

lolll.. that never going to happen... as in im not going to tell him that all now...
i guess the being friend option it is..
i always think its the guys role to do that...
and maybe some people will argue he has done his bit..i dont know

especially not after him commenting on how nice her smile is 😡..and how it nearly captivated him..no thanksss

id rather him properly declare something..if not then..whatever really

Can't blame the guy for what the girl does. He will tire of her soon with her demanding ways and she will eventually get on his nerves. I think since he can't be with you, he's going to string her along until you come around or he finds someone else. He'll keep her around because of a variety of reasons - could be she likes him and feeds his ego, he may be lonely and someone is better than who he can't have, he might be gettin' a little sumthin' sumthin'.

If you want to be with him, have and honest, direct conversation with him.

Posted by 88NPPISCES

Posted by candy10

Posted by 88NPPISCES
Well you either show him you want him, you care about him. Or you don't and keep being his friend listening about every woman he meets.

Because sure it looks like the situation is not going to change unless you put your feet on the ground & be assertive. that you do want him as more than a friend and that you will not tolerate other women being mentioned. He will respect you for that. If that is not what he wants then he'll just look for another woman who can take his ADORABLE words, and B.S talk about other women.

lolll.. that never going to happen... as in im not going to tell him that all now...
i guess the being friend option it is..
i always think its the guys role to do that...
and maybe some people will argue he has done his bit..i dont know

especially not after him commenting on how nice her smile is 😡..and how it nearly captivated him..no thanksss

id rather him properly declare something..if not then..whatever really

hahahaa I didnt say tell him. I said show him. 🙂

But to be honest if I was you, I would just send him to my friend zone box and never let him out of there for commenting about other women. I want to be with a man who is into me and not take up my time in talking about other women. I have better things to do than listen to all that B.S unless he is a friend and I do want to listen to him.

click to expand

how do i show him? lol
the problem is.. its not like he talks about women the whole time..perhaps ten per cent of our convo he'll feel the need to mention some hot woman..but then the rest of the time he'lll ask about me and how i am and how my life is..and talk about marriage and other serious topics...

hes just confusing...

somtimes i think he must like me because he calls me up as opposed to me calling him...and he'll end up spending no less than at least two or three hours on the phone to me...and just the nature of what he's said to me before..shows that he must definitely be interested in me..
but then he'll make me doubtful when he'll speak of the "hot" women..

Posted by truecap
Can't blame the guy for what the girl does. He will tire of her soon with her demanding ways and she will eventually get on his nerves. I think since he can't be with you, he's going to string her along until you come around or he finds someone else. He'll keep her around because of a variety of reasons - could be she likes him and feeds his ego, he may be lonely and someone is better than who he can't have, he might be gettin' a little sumthin' sumthin'.

If you want to be with him, have and honest, direct conversation with him.

i guess i can't blame him, but does he find it that hard to reject her calls or to not talk to her at all? i hope he'll tire of her and that she will get on his nerves..but right now it doesn't seem to be the case. All he keeps going on about is how nice looking she is and her smile ..and it's like..really?? do you really talk to someone you like..about another person in that way??

thats the thing..the "sumthin sumthin"... thats all i think about when i think of them two together..and whether if anything else happened he would tell me..or if she would eventually break down his guard against her..and then i even think what if he ends up liking her or something :O

which is why i asked him straight..if he likes her..and he kept saying no. and that looks aren't everything and he's looking for a lot more and someone that is more marriage material...

whether i am the "marriage material" who knows..although as i mentioned before..he does keep talking about it to me..and keeps telling me to sort out my future and think about marriage lol..then i wonder..hold on..why does he care about when i get married? lol

Posted by 88NPPISCES

"""how do i show him? lol
the problem is.. its not like he talks about women the whole time..perhaps ten per cent of our convo he'll feel the need to mention some hot woman..but then the rest of the time he'lll ask about me and how i am and how my life is..and talk about marriage and other serious topics..."""""



He likes you as a good friend. maybe if you guys start dating he will stop, if he doesnt then that wouldn't be nice.

He has you in the FRIEND ZONE right now, that is why he talks about other women and serious things he likes, just like a good friend would talk to a good friend.

When i said he talks about other women lol, it's more like ..comments as to how hot and sexy they are..he's never once told me he likes another girl or he went out properly with another girl..

even this one "hot" chick im talking about..he keeps telling me they're friends but comments on her looks at the same time.

He could be flattered that a "hot" woman wants to be with him and he is trying to let you know in a passive way that you should look at him again because hot women like HIM and he's a catch, worthy of your interest and he could easily be taken by one if you don't step up. He could also being trying to make you jealous. May be just trying to get your attention and wants you to think of him in a sexy way.

Women seem like they are throwing themselves at him? Well, most men will take what is freely offered, but that doesn't mean they want to keep it.

Then, again, it could be all platonic. I have a male friend who is only a friend and we have conversations about the women he dates, hooks up with, likes, doesn't like, etc.

So many angles to consider, aren't there? Makes it more difficult.

Posted by truecap
He could be flattered that a "hot" woman wants to be with him and he is trying to let you know in a passive way that you should look at him again because hot women like HIM and he's a catch, worthy of your interest and he could easily be taken by one if you don't step up. He could also being trying to make you jealous. May be just trying to get your attention and wants you to think of him in a sexy way.

Women seem like they are throwing themselves at him? Well, most men will take what is freely offered, but that doesn't mean they want to keep it.

Then, again, it could be all platonic. I have a male friend who is only a friend and we have conversations about the women he dates, hooks up with, likes, doesn't like, etc.

way too many angles.
with regards to the platonic issue, i also have platonic friends but they all seem different to this guy in the way that they interact with me, all of them have spoken of girls they've liked, been in relationships with and wanted to marry. This guy hasn't it appears ever since we got in to contact liked anyone lol, he's just found them attractive and appealing in terms of looks, so ye unlike the others he's not told me of anyone he's been really in to, and even the only girl he ended up kissin, even that he said she made the moves and he wasn't even interested in her lol.
If he had told me about other people whom he really really liked was relaly interested in then i wouldn't even have any questions about whther i was in the friend zone, i'd know i was.


so you think he's just taking what is freely offered?? That must be purely restriced to men then, because i doubt i would, no matter how pretty the guy was lol..because I just wouldn't be interested in that.

Posted by truecap
He could be flattered that a "hot" woman wants to be with him and he is trying to let you know in a passive way that you should look at him again because hot women like HIM and he's a catch, worthy of your interest and he could easily be taken by one if you don't step up. He could also being trying to make you jealous. May be just trying to get your attention and wants you to think of him in a sexy way.

Women seem like they are throwing themselves at him? Well, most men will take what is freely offered, but that doesn't mean they want to keep it.

Then, again, it could be all platonic. I have a male friend who is only a friend and we have conversations about the women he dates, hooks up with, likes, doesn't like, etc.

yes literally there are women/younger girls who throw themselves at him lol i believe it because there is this place he used to work and his work colleague told me exactly the same thing, that where ever he went there would be a group of girls surrounding him..
i even had to ask him "where exctly do you live?" because where i am thats unheard of lol..or maybe its just full of classier peopel!!!

every week he'll tell me about someone new, who has offered their services lol..or offered a relationship, or anything really...but he's never gone along with any of them, and thats what i get from what he tells me..
and i just think to myself why don't you then, instead of coming and telling me about go off with them and have a fun time ..

I really don't think you're friend zoned per say. I think you two should have a big, big talk. This situation is reminding me of the Ross and Rachel thing on Friends. Where they liked each other but both were afraid to say something.

🙂

^^^ But you have good input!

Poor girl, I think she's confused. I also think she likes him way more than she's letting on.

Posted by truecap
I really don't think you're friend zoned per say. I think you two should have a big, big talk. This situation is reminding me of the Ross and Rachel thing on Friends. Where they liked each other but both were afraid to say something.

🙂

looool..i've been told that a few times...to have a big heart to heart or something, but thats something i avoid like the plague lol

funny you say ross and rachel i was thinking that myself, thats actually one of the only relationships i can think of that reminds me of me and him!!!!

and look how long they took to get together lol!!!!

I'm really confused on what you are asking us at this point, though.

Posted by truecap
^^^ But you have good input!

Poor girl, I think she's confused. I also think she likes him way more than she's letting on.

lolli love how people are talking about me like i'm not here ..hahaa

i am confused!! you know whhat, if he didn't ever, not even once speak of some other woman/girl..then i would not be confused at all!!!..but he does this..he makes me think he's in to me..but then a split second later..he'll have to start talking about someone else!!!

Posted by truecap
I'm really confused on what you are asking us at this point, though.

what i said above ^ ^

im pretty sure anyone would be like ? ? ? if there was someone who they thought liked them but then that same guy would then change the subject to another pretty girl..

they would then question ok ..does he really like me..or not??

Posted by 88NPPISCES
My Aqua sister drives me crazy. 🙂

& I drive her crazy when something happens and I get emotional so I guess we are even. lol

sorry if im driving you all crazy..but even all the users..whether it be here..or other people have completely different opinions..so its not really that easy to figure out as you may think

Posted by EusiveSoulll
I thought she was a Virgo actually,... posting same questions since 2011 *Ugh* O_o

maybe its the same questions.. but different scenarios...
something new happens every day..he'll say something different every day..come across differently everyday!!
then ther'll be a new person coming in to it as well...

so as i said its not that easy to figure out!!

Posted by candy10

Posted by truecap
I'm really confused on what you are asking us at this point, though.

what i said above ^ ^

im pretty sure anyone would be like ? ? ? if there was someone who they thought liked them but then that same guy would then change the subject to another pretty girl..

they would then question ok ..does he really like me..or not??

click to expand

Well, I would be direct and come right out and ask him. No more confusion. 🙂

But that's the triple cap in me! lol!

Posted by truecap

Posted by candy10

Posted by truecap
I'm really confused on what you are asking us at this point, though.

what i said above ^ ^

im pretty sure anyone would be like ? ? ? if there was someone who they thought liked them but then that same guy would then change the subject to another pretty girl..

they would then question ok ..does he really like me..or not??

Well, I would be direct and come right out and ask him. No more confusion. 🙂

But that's the triple cap in me! lol!

click to expand

loool, i would never ask him directly, i want ma pride in tact all the time lol

Posted by Caplove
For me, it seems like he really, really does like you and his mind has changed from when you initially met him. He told you "he wasn't interested in a relationship with anyone." But that was years ago, right?

He told you (at least twice) that he basically likes you and when you didn't react as he wished he probably took it as a rejection. I know I would.

So for me, it's just like he's trying to save face and make it seem like he's got all these other prospects and that they're good looking and chasing him. Big deal! At the same time he gets to preserve his relationship with you, even if it's just a friendship for now.

It's kind of like he's telling you, "Hey look what a great catch I am, all these girls like me. So why don't you?" I don't think it's done maliciously or to make you jealous but he doesn't seem to understand that it's having the opposite affect and NOT helping him at all. It just comes from a place of insecurity.

Sometimes, when people joke around there's also a little truth there too. I think that may be the case with a lot of people. It's just a way to test the waters and the reaction of others while still saving face because one can always say, "ha, ha.. just kidding."

If you want to steer this in another direction, then ask him, IN PERSON and not by text or phone, if he really likes this girl he's been talking about, without an attitude of any sort (not that you have one, but just to get an honest answer 🙂).

This will give him a chance to either fess up for real about his feelings for you or tell you about her. I also say "in person" because over the phone and via text or im, it's too easy for people to hide their reactions, their TRUE reactions behind those gadgets. This way you can watch him and see what he does, how he reacts.

If your feelings have changed and you really like him then that is your chance to be honest with him as well. See if it will go anywhere.

thanks, im glad its obvious to someone, because to me its unclear sometimes 😢. Yep years ago he wasn't interested in a relationship with anyone, but that was because he wanted to focus on his work and other aspects of his life, so i don't know whether he always liked me even then or started to later, and a couple of years on and he is suddenly interested in having one... queue me i guess lol

He i

* he implied that he liked me, not ever used those words though. Maybe my reaction wasn't ideal but I didn't believe him at the time, so i handled it like i thought he was joking. Especially when he said he wanted me..it just came so out of the blue..and straight after he went out with that extremly "hot and sexy" girl :/..so i was thinking hang on..you just let her kiss u only a couple of weeks ago and then you turn around and tell me about it as well as telling me you want me? didnt make sense at the time thats all :s

Ye maybe he is trying to save face lol, but my point at the time was, he liked me but then let this random girl make moves on him even though he apparently wasn't in to it?? And then i thought if it was me and i had someone particular in mind, no matter how hot any other random guy was i wouldn't be that in to kissing and cuddling with that person :s, but then maybe thats just me and im decent lol

He's just stupid though lol..who would actually think that telling the girl you like that other girls are really in to you and you find them hot and sexy is a good thing?? I think that maybe he was trying to make me jealous, because a friend of his actually told me that the guy used those words "make candy jealous by telling her _____"..so its proven he's done that before.

I get your point about him pretending to joke but there may have been some truth to what he was saying..but then what about when he said "that girl has such a nice smile it almost got me caught up in her"..or something like that.. and then he goes "im only joking"..but was he?? :s...
It just doesn't seem that girl will back down anytime soon..and i can't compete with someone like her lol :/...she's too forward and i just am not, so ultimately what he does is up to him.

I mean i understand that you think we should meet up and talk face to face, but then he hasn't asked me to do that since that time he said he "wanted" me lol.(and i cant ask him im toooooooooooo shy).and then since then i'm quite sure that girl has pursued him instead and keeps on asking him to see her...so that

Posted by champranger

Posted by candy10

Posted by truecap
I'm really confused on what you are asking us at this point, though.

what i said above ^ ^

im pretty sure anyone would be like ? ? ? if there was someone who they thought liked them but then that same guy would then change the subject to another pretty girl..

they would then question ok ..does he really like me..or not??

candy10, if he liked the girl he was talking about, he wouldn't be talking how pretty or sexy she looks. You would hear of his plans to ask her out.

Like you said, it is very clear that the girl who kissed him, clearly likes him a lot. If he did like her back, he would've asked her out already as he knows she likes him. Caps are only slow when they want to be certain of how they feel about someone.

So yes, in my opinion he likes you. He has always liked you. He even said he wants you and not the other girl he had mentioned. But unless he was given some kind of indication that you like him back, there is no way this is going to go anywhere, except maybe driving you and him further apart.

click to expand

I see what you're trying to point out, that if he liked her he wouldn't just be commenting on her looks but then at the end of the day he still met up with her and went to the cinema/park..and allowed her to be all over him :s..and kiss him etc etc..but it's kind of like..so was he thinking about me then? don't think so
whereas if i was really in to someone..theres no way i'd let that even happen, because i'd just be feeling guilty about the other person and thinking about them, but he didnt seem to care then.

His only concern about her is that she's too over the top and easy lol..like one of those types of girls..and he doesn't want someone like that. That then makes me think ok so if she wasn't soo available and slutty lol..then maybe he would get to know her more and totally forget that i exist.. Does he only like me because i'm not so available then? as opposed to my personality or anything else...

i know im probably over thinking and it will sound stupid to other people..but i look at things from every perspective..and if i am to ever commit to someone i do expect quite a lot, that they respect me,that they like me i

* they like me in every possible way and that to them i would top their list above any other girl..and right now it doesn't feel that way to me at all. Only and only then would i consider saying something to him, but to me it just seems lukewarm.

But who knows maybe i'm completely wrong and he does think of me like that..but just hasn't expressed it, who knows ..

Posted by champranger
"But who knows maybe i'm completely wrong and he does think of me like that..but just hasn't expressed it, who knows .."
--> First, this is my point of view.

"i know im probably over thinking and it will sound stupid to other people..but i look at things from every perspective..and if i am to ever commit to someone i do expect quite a lot, that they respect me,that they like me in every possible way and that to them i would top their list above any other girl..and right now it doesn't feel that way to me at all. Only and only then would i consider saying something to him, but to me it just seems lukewarm."

--> Second, mainly from the rest of your post, there is big gap between your expectations of him and what he is actually doing. The only way to close the gap is to let him know where he is failing. Then he will likely come around to meet your expectations. Yet, you are only going to talk to him if he comes around and meet your expectations without you telling him to do so. So in other words, he is suppose to be able to get some kind of nonverbal signal from you that what he did is wrong (by your standards)?

A lot of my other male friends have said to me if they like a girl they would NEVER talk about anyone else not even for a second. In comparison this guy has not only done it once, he's done it an almost to high a number to count. Why do they understand that its wrong to do that or inappropriate but he doesn't see it?
He must know what he's doing yet he chances it anyway.
Plus i can't say what im thinking because i'm not his girl, im his girl MATE, so in a way me telling him that i don't like him talking about these girls and going to parks and kissing them would be stupid. He's just going to end up thinking im insecure or one of those overly dramatic jealous girls, and i don't want that either.

I get that maybe my expectations are a bit to high and how is he going to know without me telling him.

Having said all that, there was one incident where i found out (he told me) he was speaking to another girl who was someone i didn't associate with because she stirred up drama between me and him and lied about me to him.. basically a girl who i have issues with. When i found out i was angry and i told him he can do what he likes and carry on speaking to her but me and him can no longer be in contact., after my outburst i ignored h

* after my outburst i ignored him..and he'd call and message me. He then ended up messaging me saying he'll stop speaking to her if it makes thiungs better. Which was surprising, as i didnt even ask him to do that, yet i guess he knew me and him would not be friends if he spoke to her.

Posted by champranger

Posted by candy10

His only concern about her is that she's too over the top and easy lol..like one of those types of girls..and he doesn't want someone like that. That then makes me think ok so if she wasn't soo available and slutty lol..then maybe he would get to know her more and totally forget that i exist.. Does he only like me because i'm not so available then? as opposed to my personality or anything else...

I don't think any guys would genuinely like a girl because she is hard to get. This is especially for Caps, who are realistic to begin with. Why risk along with wasting time and effort, when the chance of rejection is high? There are guys who may like the challenge of chasing a hard to get girl though.

click to expand

Sorry i don't think i was clear, what i meant was, maybe he's keeping me as an option because he hasn't found any other girls/women who aren't easy. As in everyone he meets ends up not being "wifey" material, and like the kind of people who would get together with any guy i.e slutty! If he had met someone who was a lot classier, like me, then maybe he would have moved on by now. So in a way i meant its not how great I am thats kept him in contact with me or how much he likes me, its more that i just tick that certain box of his.

Candy you are in love with this boy.

Posted by lnana04
Candy you are in love with this boy.

gross LOL
im not in lovee :o lol

Posted by lnana04
Candy you are in love with this boy.

he should be so lucky *sarcastic look*

in lovee wiv someone who can't resist but talking to me about hot girls all day long!!!

Posted by 88NPPISCES

Posted by candy10

Posted by lnana04
Candy you are in love with this boy.

he should be so lucky *sarcastic look*

in lovee wiv someone who can't resist but talking to me about hot girls all day long!!!

well, there is your answer to your long posts. 😛

click to expand

lol nnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooo, this was never about meeeeee
it was always aboutt hhim n his feeelinsss

You're being immature, candy. Sorry, but this is all getting really, really silly and redundant. You're overthinking things.

So if you don't like him then what the #!@# $ is the problem?

If you do like him, poo or get off the pot. Ask him, be honest, have a talk.

Otherwise, quit harping on it.

Sorry. Cap mercury is taking over and caps are patient, but there is a time to call people out.

Posted by truecap
You're being immature, candy. Sorry, but this is all getting really, really silly and redundant. You're overthinking things.

So if you don't like him then what the #!@# $ is the problem?

If you do like him, poo or get off the pot. Ask him, be honest, have a talk.

Otherwise, quit harping on it.

Sorry. Cap mercury is taking over and caps are patient, but there is a time to call people out.

ALRIGHT..take a chill pill already 0_o
you don't have to read my thread..if its that annoying to you
i'm just replying to people thats all ..

like i said..i'm not going to ask him straight am i ..

I have to agree with trucap here and I didn't sense any hostility it's more of a "oh my god litte girl can you please make up your mind and stop torturing yourself and others for the sake of enjoying company of misery!"

Is there actually part of this whole charade that you enjoy? What you claim to be isn't matching up to any of your actions. You are a nice drama free friend yet it's a no no for the guy to date other girls because it upsets you. When others asked you about your feelings everything is directed at the other girls and you deny any sort of feeling. You say it's all about him but in this thread it's very clear it's also about what you want. If it's really all about him then the obvious fact is you can't stand him flirting with other girls so you either say it to his face or forget him.

I honestly can't see it any other way apart from you wanting our attention for the sake of it much like my views on the guy in question. Both of you who seemingly like each other are enjoying the fact you drive each other completely mental!

I feel like I should say own up and tell him and stop these games but I think the answer you're looking for is keep drowning in this misery.

*Aqua bluntness activate*

^^^ Exactly that^^^

timewaster, she was here 6 months ago under a different name with the same story. It just reeks immaturity!

Posted by sweethearts
^^^ Exactly that^^^

timewaster, she was here 6 months ago under a different name with the same story. It just reeks immaturity!

iv never had a different name...
thats probably someone else
get your facts straight thanks

If I'm wrong I'm wrong but doesn't change the fact that your reality is a silly little girls story and what aquasnoz and true cap are saying is on the button!



>>> Is there actually part of this whole charade that you enjoy?

What you claim to be isn't matching up to any of your actions. You are a nice drama free friend yet it's a no no for the guy to date other girls because it upsets you. When others asked you about your feelings everything is directed at the other girls and you deny any sort of feeling. You say it's all about him but in this thread it's very clear it's also about what you want. If it's really all about him then the obvious fact is you can't stand him flirting with other girls so you either say it to his face or forget him.

I honestly can't see it any other way apart from you wanting our attention for the sake of it much like my views on the guy in question. Both of you who seemingly like each other are enjoying the fact you drive each other completely mental!

I feel like I should say own up and tell him and stop these games but I think the answer you're looking for is keep drowning in this misery.

Some of yall have no idea. Its been 2-3 yrs of THIS. The same questions about the same guy, and her doing the same thing....pretending no real feelings are there on her end. I dont understand the point of it all...never did.

Your little outburst in Your PM to me shows exactly how childish you are. Try reading some of the comments here and taking in the very message directed at you and not attack anyone that sees straight through your immaturity...exactly how many people did you abuse through PM because you didn't like what they had to say??

In this world it's all about attention. Sounds like your sending him mixed signals. Beware once he figures out your game, he will grow and sharpen his horns! If he thinks your playing him he might plot a revenge, which likely he is already doing which is why your asking in the first place. He will torcher, excite, and haunt your mind... Sounds like a his plan is already working. Men have feelings too. Play with a man Caps emotions, and you will suffer for a longggggggggggggg time...

The sad part about it, it's really not planned, it's natural for us. Competition is in our blood, you supply the weapons, we will find a way to beat you with your own weapons!!!

Posted by sweethearts
Your little outburst in Your PM to me shows exactly how childish you are. Try reading some of the comments here and taking in the very message directed at you and not attack anyone that sees straight through your immaturity...exactly how many people did you abuse through PM because you didn't like what they had to say??

just you 😄