How long does it take for a typical Capricorn man to Really move on?

Hey, guys! In a case where a Capricorn man was deeply in love with a woman and he decided to agree with the woman on a mutual breakup (which left both of them hurt), because from his side, the relationship won't work because 1. He was still not settled with his life; his life was pretty chaotic and he couldn't think of a getting into a serious relationship then, 2. The two were very much different from each other, say like polar opposites,

How much time would it Really take for him to move on? As of now, I see that he's pretending as though he doesn't care a bit. That's kinda obvious. I would like to see him being really happy, even if that means him being happy with some other woman. When will that happen?

Depends on the connection you guys had (from his perspective). Generally, we don't let a lot of people in because we know that once you are in-- it is really hard to get rid of you. So this could tike a long time.

Interesting. He's told me that he loved me, a few times through text after some hesitation, and he told me those words a few times spontaneously when we met personally, but once, after all this, I remember him telling me, "if I come that close, then I may not let you go". (At this point, I admit that I was both impressed with his honesty and also confused with the mixed signals.)

And during the bad times, when one of us or both of us would avoid contact for weeks, before initiating a direct talk, he'd always post some poem revealing pain or some article expressing anger on his blog. On the day of the breakup and a few times after that, he posted similar poems, revealing deep pain (which really hurt me, too). I confronted him and told him strictly to avoid such posts and now I see only angry posts on politics! Lol!

So where do you think I stand with him? Something tells me that he's really hurt. If that's true, what's the best thing that I can do to help him recover? Must I give him a friendly nudge and tell him kindly to move on, or should I get back with him, or should I just let him be and let him go through it all by himself even.if it hurts me? Help, please?

Cap's will be over in 2 second. Trust me!!

Anything that does not work for them = immediately in the bin.

Bloody earth signs. Have to be so damn practical.



2 + 2 = 4.. Can't be 5 or 3. Has to be 4. Not even in dreams.

Posted by LeoSunPiscesMoon
Cap's will be over in 2 second. Trust me!!

Anything that does not work for them = immediately in the bin.

Bloody earth signs. Have to be so damn practical.



2 + 2 = 4.. Can't be 5 or 3. Has to be 4. Not even in dreams.

In the first few months, that's how he made me feel, as though he had a heart made of stone! But later, there was this pattern I couldn't help but observe:

When he gets upset with me (or hurt, which he'll Never Openly admit), be it over silly things or serious issues, it'll reflect on his status messages, his blog posts and his social media stuff. Anger targeting either me indirectly or when I corner him and prove to him logically that it's his fault and when he has no answers, then he'll be angry with "the world" in general!!!

To me, it seems both crazy and cute, childish and also manly (you know, men aren't allowed to whine like a girl or yell at women!), sweet yet horrible.

After displaying patterns like this, either I'd go to him and he'll cool down and then accept me, or he'll come back and I'll warmly accept him. This was the pattern so far. And when he comes back, he'd be really sweet, and those are the times I'll (or we will?) become really vulnerable.

Now I see a similar pattern. Pain, grief and anger. But what's the best thing I should do, dear?

Posted by InLoveWithLife
Interesting. He's told me that he loved me, a few times through text after some hesitation, and he told me those words a few times spontaneously when we met personally, but once, after all this, I remember him telling me, "if I come that close, then I may not let you go". (At this point, I admit that I was both impressed with his honesty and also confused with the mixed signals.)

And during the bad times, when one of us or both of us would avoid contact for weeks, before initiating a direct talk, he'd always post some poem revealing pain or some article expressing anger on his blog. On the day of the breakup and a few times after that, he posted similar poems, revealing deep pain (which really hurt me, too). I confronted him and told him strictly to avoid such posts and now I see only angry posts on politics! Lol!

So where do you think I stand with him? Something tells me that he's really hurt. If that's true, what's the best thing that I can do to help him recover? Must I give him a friendly nudge and tell him kindly to move on, or should I get back with him, or should I just let him be and let him go through it all by himself even.if it hurts me? Help, please?

First, figure out what you want-- cause it doesn't sound like you have figured that out yet. Once you have that figured out then deal with him accordingly.

Posted by daron76

Posted by InLoveWithLife
Interesting. He's told me that he loved me, a few times through text after some hesitation, and he told me those words a few times spontaneously when we met personally, but once, after all this, I remember him telling me, "if I come that close, then I may not let you go". (At this point, I admit that I was both impressed with his honesty and also confused with the mixed signals.)

And during the bad times, when one of us or both of us would avoid contact for weeks, before initiating a direct talk, he'd always post some poem revealing pain or some article expressing anger on his blog. On the day of the breakup and a few times after that, he posted similar poems, revealing deep pain (which really hurt me, too). I confronted him and told him strictly to avoid such posts and now I see only angry posts on politics! Lol!

So where do you think I stand with him? Something tells me that he's really hurt. If that's true, what's the best thing that I can do to help him recover? Must I give him a friendly nudge and tell him kindly to move on, or should I get back with him, or should I just let him be and let him go through it all by himself even.if it hurts me? Help, please?

First, figure out what you want-- cause it doesn't sound like you have figured that out yet. Once you have that figured out then deal with him accordingly.

click to expand

Thanks for that bit of practical advice. I'm used to being independent, not really needing anyone. Initially the pain of breakup was too much, but I guess I have overcome that now.

But the love (meaning deep affection, more than just romantic feelings) that I have for him makes me feel really bad when I realise that he's going through a tough time. No, this is not guilt. This is how bad I felt when he was upset with his work, fell ill, and met with an accident or two in the past.

Whether his pain has anything to do with me or not, I'd still feel pained every time life throws something horrible or difficult at him. Given that he always has a pessimistic approach to life and a hatred for most people (because of his own past experiences), I've always felt the need to be there by his side to remind him that positive probabilities also exist, that he's not a failure in life, and to cheer him up.

I know that there's nobody else in his life presently who would give him that kind of energy and encouragement (and that's definitely what he needs after the horrible accident he met with recently) because he just wouldn't permit anybody to come that close to give him advice or positive feedback.

What must I do? If I get to know that he's happy and peaceful, I think I'll be happier... I kinda wonder if the love I feel for him is something a mother would have for her son. Not exaggerating. And sorry for the long messages. 🙂

Posted by InLoveWithLife

Posted by daron76

Posted by InLoveWithLife
Interesting. He's told me that he loved me, a few times through text after some hesitation, and he told me those words a few times spontaneously when we met personally, but once, after all this, I remember him telling me, "if I come that close, then I may not let you go". (At this point, I admit that I was both impressed with his honesty and also confused with the mixed signals.)

And during the bad times, when one of us or both of us would avoid contact for weeks, before initiating a direct talk, he'd always post some poem revealing pain or some article expressing anger on his blog. On the day of the breakup and a few times after that, he posted similar poems, revealing deep pain (which really hurt me, too). I confronted him and told him strictly to avoid such posts and now I see only angry posts on politics! Lol!

So where do you think I stand with him? Something tells me that he's really hurt. If that's true, what's the best thing that I can do to help him recover? Must I give him a friendly nudge and tell him kindly to move on, or should I get back with him, or should I just let him be and let him go through it all by himself even.if it hurts me? Help, please?

First, figure out what you want-- cause it doesn't sound like you have figured that out yet. Once you have that figured out then deal with him accordingly.

Thanks for that bit of practical advice. I'm used to being independent, not really needing anyone. Initially the pain of breakup was too much, but I guess I have overcome that now.

But the love (meaning deep affection, more than just romantic feelings) that I have for him makes me feel really bad when I realise that he's going through a tough time. No, this is not guilt. This is how bad I felt when he was upset with his work, fell ill, and met with an accident or two in the past.

Whether his pain has anything to do with me or not, I'd still feel pained every time life throws something horrible or difficult at him. Given that he always has a pessimistic approach to life and a hatred for most people (because of his own past experiences), I've always felt the need to be there by his side to remind him that positive probabilities also exist, that he's not a failure in life, and to cheer him up.

I know that there's nobody else in his life presently who would give him that kind of energy and encouragement (and that's definitely what he needs after the horrible accident he met with recently) because he just wouldn't permit anybody to come that close to give him advice or positive feedback.

What must I do? If I get to know that he's happy and peaceful, I think I'll be happier... I kinda wonder if the love I feel for him is something a mother would have for her son. Not exaggerating. And sorry for the long messages. 🙂

click to expand

That is all well and good, but it would be bordering on evil to return to him in a romantic way out of pity. Because as soon as he feels better you'll feel free to leave, only to break his heart. If you want to be with him that way- make sure that is how you really feel. Your sympathy is admirable but be careful-- the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Posted by daron76

Posted by InLoveWithLife

Posted by daron76

Posted by InLoveWithLife
Interesting. He's told me that he loved me, a few times through text after some hesitation, and he told me those words a few times spontaneously when we met personally, but once, after all this, I remember him telling me, "if I come that close, then I may not let you go". (At this point, I admit that I was both impressed with his honesty and also confused with the mixed signals.)

And during the bad times, when one of us or both of us would avoid contact for weeks, before initiating a direct talk, he'd always post some poem revealing pain or some article expressing anger on his blog. On the day of the breakup and a few times after that, he posted similar poems, revealing deep pain (which really hurt me, too). I confronted him and told him strictly to avoid such posts and now I see only angry posts on politics! Lol!

So where do you think I stand with him? Something tells me that he's really hurt. If that's true, what's the best thing that I can do to help him recover? Must I give him a friendly nudge and tell him kindly to move on, or should I get back with him, or should I just let him be and let him go through it all by himself even.if it hurts me? Help, please?

First, figure out what you want-- cause it doesn't sound like you have figured that out yet. Once you have that figured out then deal with him accordingly.

Thanks for that bit of practical advice. I'm used to being independent, not really needing anyone. Initially the pain of breakup was too much, but I guess I have overcome that now.

But the love (meaning deep affection, more than just romantic feelings) that I have for him makes me feel really bad when I realise that he's going through a tough time. No, this is not guilt. This is how bad I felt when he was upset with his work, fell ill, and met with an accident or two in the past.

Whether his pain has anything to do with me or not, I'd still feel pained every time life throws something horrible or difficult at him. Given that he always has a pessimistic approach to life and a hatred for most people (because of his own past experiences), I've always felt the need to be there by his side to remind him that positive probabilities also exist, that he's not a failure in life, and to cheer him up.

I know that there's nobody else in his life presently who would give him that kind of energy and encouragement (and that's definitely what he needs after the horrible accident he met with recently) because he just wouldn't permit anybody to come that close to give him advice or positive feedback.

What must I do? If I get to know that he's happy and peaceful, I think I'll be happier... I kinda wonder if the love I feel for him is something a mother would have for her son. Not exaggerating. And sorry for the long messages. 🙂

That is all well and good, but it would be bordering on evil to return to him in a romantic way out of pity. Because as soon as he feels better you'll feel free to leave, only to break his heart. If you want to be with him that way- make sure that is how you really feel. Your sympathy is admirable but be careful-- the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

click to expand

Hey, thanks! This is the kind of discussion that I really seek at the moment. To speak my mind out and see how it can be perceived from the receiver's side or for someone on the listener's side. I do get your point.

If you don't mind a bit more elaboration,

If I go to him, 1. And if we are able to forgive and accept each other, then that would be good. My only condition: "everything like the time and effort invested must be mutual". If he agrees, that'd be great (but knowing his pace and current situation, I think that will take a lot of time),

2. If he can't accept me, fine, I don't mind being just a friend. The moment he feels great about himself, I can slowly walk away and let him enjoy his life, even if that means him dating someone else. In that case, I wouldn't mind leaving him if that's what he'd want (considering how opposite we are) ...

But currently I can sense him being "stuck in a rut", and personally I hate being in such places. But you're right. Chances are that he'll see this as pity, too, which will make him feel worse!

So it's better I give him some more time alone so he'll be able to better understand his situation, and then see what he wants?

Please don't mind my rants, but I'm kinda confused as I sense myself thinking for two people!

Posted by InLoveWithLife

Posted by daron76

Posted by InLoveWithLife

Posted by daron76

Posted by InLoveWithLife
Interesting. He's told me that he loved me, a few times through text after some hesitation, and he told me those words a few times spontaneously when we met personally, but once, after all this, I remember him telling me, "if I come that close, then I may not let you go". (At this point, I admit that I was both impressed with his honesty and also confused with the mixed signals.)

And during the bad times, when one of us or both of us would avoid contact for weeks, before initiating a direct talk, he'd always post some poem revealing pain or some article expressing anger on his blog. On the day of the breakup and a few times after that, he posted similar poems, revealing deep pain (which really hurt me, too). I confronted him and told him strictly to avoid such posts and now I see only angry posts on politics! Lol!

So where do you think I stand with him? Something tells me that he's really hurt. If that's true, what's the best thing that I can do to help him recover? Must I give him a friendly nudge and tell him kindly to move on, or should I get back with him, or should I just let him be and let him go through it all by himself even.if it hurts me? Help, please?

First, figure out what you want-- cause it doesn't sound like you have figured that out yet. Once you have that figured out then deal with him accordingly.

Thanks for that bit of practical advice. I'm used to being independent, not really needing anyone. Initially the pain of breakup was too much, but I guess I have overcome that now.

But the love (meaning deep affection, more than just romantic feelings) that I have for him makes me feel really bad when I realise that he's going through a tough time. No, this is not guilt. This is how bad I felt when he was upset with his work, fell ill, and met with an accident or two in the past.

Whether his pain has anything to do with me or not, I'd still feel pained every time life throws something horrible or difficult at him. Given that he always has a pessimistic approach to life and a hatred for most people (because of his own past experiences), I've always felt the need to be there by his side to remind him that positive probabilities also exist, that he's not a failure in life, and to cheer him up.

I know that there's nobody else in his life presently who would give him that kind of energy and encouragement (and that's definitely what he needs after the horrible accident he met with recently) because he just wouldn't permit anybody to come that close to give him advice or positive feedback.

What must I do? If I get to know that he's happy and peaceful, I think I'll be happier... I kinda wonder if the love I feel for him is something a mother would have for her son. Not exaggerating. And sorry for the long messages. 🙂

That is all well and good, but it would be bordering on evil to return to him in a romantic way out of pity. Because as soon as he feels better you'll feel free to leave, only to break his heart. If you want to be with him that way- make sure that is how you really feel. Your sympathy is admirable but be careful-- the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Hey, thanks! This is the kind of discussion that I really seek at the moment. To speak my mind out and see how it can be perceived from the receiver's side or for someone on the listener's side. I do get your point.

If you don't mind a bit more elaboration,

If I go to him, 1. And if we are able to forgive and accept each other, then that would be good. My only condition: "everything like the time and effort invested must be mutual". If he agrees, that'd be great (but knowing his pace and current situation, I think that will take a lot of time),

2. If he can't accept me, fine, I don't mind being just a friend. The moment he feels great about himself, I can slowly walk away and let him enjoy his life, even if that means him dating someone else. In that case, I wouldn't mind leaving him if that's what he'd want (considering how opposite we are) ...

But currently I can sense him being "stuck in a rut", and personally I hate being in such places. But you're right. Chances are that he'll see this as pity, too, which will make him feel worse!

So it's better I give him some more time alone so he'll be able to better understand his situation, and then see what he wants?

Please don't mind my rants, but I'm kinda confused as I sense myself thinking for two people!

click to expand

Well that is why I went straight to focusing on what you want. It's really hard to have a sense of direction if you don't know where you are going.

As for scenario 1 that you mentioned; maybe just explain that you understand that he is having a hard time and that you are available if he needs/ wants you. Don't turn it in to a debate/ discussion (don't let him do that either). Say your piece and leave it at that.

When I am in a space where things aren't going well, I just want my lady to be there. She doesn't necessarily need to "do" anything-- just be present. If he is being moody call him out on it- but in a loving way.

The last paragraph was really useful. Most of us ladies don't understand what's expected of us. We end up not doing something that we're expected to do or we do something that you wouldn't want us to do, looking at things only from our side, or because of miscommunication. Thanks! 🙂

Posted by InLoveWithLife
The last paragraph was really useful. Most of us ladies don't understand what's expected of us. We end up not doing something that we're expected to do or we do something that you wouldn't want us to do, looking at things only from our side, or because of miscommunication. Thanks! 🙂

No prob! I hope it works out for you.

😄

Lol when I see emoticons from a Cap, it's kinda difficult to hide that chuckle! 😉