How to move forward with this Capricorn Woman

I fell in love with a Capricorn woman back in 2012, when I was having a hard time. I had a very abusive family at that point and it was great to have her around. It really eased that pain. There was an instant connection between us. We became good friends and had a good relationship. She did lots of great things for me and grew to trust me. Sometimes I felt like she was testing me. But it felt good.
I never told her that I fell for her in all that time because I didn't want her to get pulled into an abusive family. I got out of that abusive family with my father and brothers, and we're doing well. She helped me gain the strength for that. She even offered to let me stay in a house she was planning to get.
Eventually she got into a relationship with a Virgo guy, and all seems well. I was really glad for her, but I must admit I was jealous. Through my life experiences though, I learnt that even if I love her, I need to let her be free and decide her own life.
Very recently, I told her everything I felt and why I only told her now. I couldn't keep it in. She told me that it wouldn't have been any harder for her, as she makes her own life. I even got a scolding for thinking I thought I would be the only provider, and she was right. She says she's glad as well that I didn't tell her back then, because she wouldn't have wanted it to affect the friendship. She says she knows I am strong. She also said that she's sorry that she can't return those feelings, because of her relationship and that she's sorry if she's hurt me. She says that I'm still a good friend and that she will always be there for me.
The main point of my post though is that I don't know what to do. Being a Taurus, I don't know when to give up, and I'm afraid of my own feelings going out of control. That I won't be able to stop chasing her. I know she still wants me around but I love her so intensely and I don't want to get in her way of happiness. I don't know if I should just go my own way to spare her my stubborness, or stay and try to control my love for her. I know what my heart says, but I don't want to be blinded by it. I'm a Taurus sun, Capricorn Moon

Posted by Nexsus
She also said that she's sorry that she can't return those feelings, because of her relationship and that she's sorry if she's hurt me.

This ^^.
If she loves the Virgo, she will be loyal to him and nothing you try will win her over. In fact, if you keep chasing, she will avoid you and eventually cut you off because of the awkwardness and because you don't listen to her wishes.


Are you sure that it's real love for you? Are you sure your feelings for her aren't because she was your rock and because of how she helped you? Are you sure those feelings aren't just gratitude or some kind of attachment that isn't actual love? We can love our friends to pieces and love them deeply, but the romantic love we have for our significant other is different. I'm not naysaying your feelings here, but just a question for you to ask yourself, to examine.

All in all though, if you can't be friends with her without chasing, then it would be best to leave her alone.

Posted by truecap

Posted by Nexsus
She also said that she's sorry that she can't return those feelings, because of her relationship and that she's sorry if she's hurt me.

This ^^.
If she loves the Virgo, she will be loyal to him and nothing you try will win her over. In fact, if you keep chasing, she will avoid you and eventually cut you off because of the awkwardness and because you don't listen to her wishes.


Are you sure that it's real love for you? Are you sure your feelings for her aren't because she was your rock and because of how she helped you? Are you sure those feelings aren't just gratitude or some kind of attachment that isn't actual love? We can love our friends to pieces and love them deeply, but the romantic love we have for our significant other is different. I'm not naysaying your feelings here, but just a question for you to ask yourself, to examine.

All in all though, if you can't be friends with her without chasing, then it would be best to leave her alone.

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Thanks Truecap. I think my pride was hurt quite a lot, so I didn't think about it enough before posting it anonymously here.
It definitely was real love, that I can guarantee. She didn't know what I was going through till much later, and I didn't talk about it for the first 2 years I knew her. But regardless, I think I learnt to supress myself now and I know she still wants me around. I won't get in her way, and I've resigned myself to it. She's moving overseas soon, so nothing can happen anyway.

I've let her go romantically, but my gut is telling me not to let her go as a friend. Being stubborn, I know that I can do it.

Posted by Nexsus
I've let her go romantically, but my gut is telling me not to let her go as a friend. Being stubborn, I know that I can do it.

I hope so. True friendship is a rare commodity.

Posted by truecap

Posted by Nexsus
I've let her go romantically, but my gut is telling me not to let her go as a friend. Being stubborn, I know that I can do it.

I hope so. True friendship is a rare commodity.

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We've discussed and she believes its a good idea that we stay friends. We have a long history, so I'm glad 🙂

Posted by Vanish
I never thought about how Taurus would be a threat to a Cap/Virgo relationship. Tauruses never give up. It's hard enough for a Virgo to keep a Capricorn without anyone trying to take them away.

Well, being a Taurus myself, I definitely can imagine that. But with me, my life experiences taught me to remember what's important. She's an important friend and I need to accept it.

Posted by nasha82

Posted by Nexsus
I fell in love with a Capricorn woman back in 2012, when I was having a hard time. I had a very abusive family at that point and it was great to have her around. It really eased that pain. There was an instant connection between us. We became good friends and had a good relationship. She did lots of great things for me and grew to trust me. Sometimes I felt like she was testing me. But it felt good.
I never told her that I fell for her in all that time because I didn't want her to get pulled into an abusive family. I got out of that abusive family with my father and brothers, and we're doing well. She helped me gain the strength for that. She even offered to let me stay in a house she was planning to get.
Eventually she got into a relationship with a Virgo guy, and all seems well. I was really glad for her, but I must admit I was jealous. Through my life experiences though, I learnt that even if I love her, I need to let her be free and decide her own life.
Very recently, I told her everything I felt and why I only told her now. I couldn't keep it in. She told me that it wouldn't have been any harder for her, as she makes her own life. I even got a scolding for thinking I thought I would be the only provider, and she was right. She says she's glad as well that I didn't tell her back then, because she wouldn't have wanted it to affect the friendship. She says she knows I am strong. She also said that she's sorry that she can't return those feelings, because of her relationship and that she's sorry if she's hurt me. She says that I'm still a good friend and that she will always be there for me.
The main point of my post though is that I don't know what to do. Being a Taurus, I don't know when to give up, and I'm afraid of my own feelings going out of control. That I won't be able to stop chasing her. I know she still wants me around but I love her so intensely and I don't want to get in her way of happiness. I don't know if I should just go my own way to spare her my stubborness, or stay and try to control my love for her. I know what my heart says, but I don't want to be blinded by it. I'm a Taurus sun, Capricorn Moon

How do you know you love her? you havnt said why you think you love her and allways will, explain why im curious to know

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Well I don't even think I do, I know I do. Moving forward now I shouldn't think like this, but I'll answer. I love her strength, even though she's.a bit too cold and blunt sometimes, I know she's just trying to help and that she cares. I used to hate to see her smoke, because of what it could do to her health. One thing that can never leave my mind, is how calm she would be, with a gentle, satisfied smile on her face. She let's off this air of wisdom, and there's something

...Mysterious about her that draws me in. I often find my mind wandering off about how a future would be together and how I could make her happy. I feel excited and anxious to see her, and my hearts beats faster and warms up around her. Even when I text. I know isn't sympathetic feelings triggered inside of me, because I am and was strong enough to get out of that abusive situation myself when I realized it, and I didn't contact her much when I was solving it. I am also jealous of that virgo man, but I need to accept it. I know she wouldn't have chosen that guy if she didn't want to be with him. I've lost too much in my life to lose someone like her, that's why I need to accept that she wants me as a friend. I learnt what's important through my life and I'm not the only person that needs to be happy

Posted by nasha82
You said that you hate seeing her smoke because of her health, well love is acceptance no hate involved thats love, so like i said how can you say you love someone if you hate things like smoking, if you met her and she was smoking then i say you dont love her because you knew she smoked from the start , she obviously only saw you as a friensfromthe start but maybe you was hoping for more but then again caps mostly want you when you dont want them so maybe she lead you on and knew what she was doing, make out that they want more than friendship then turn around and do the opposite, what she going do if it doesnt work out with the virgo guy probably come crawling back to you like nothings happend and that everythings ok, well that would be your choice, but if she she smokes while you met her why should she quit that habit for you quit for herself and no one else

Look, I didn't say that I didn't accept the fact that she's smoking. Just because I don't like seeing what it could do, doesn't mean that I expect her to stop for me. She already wanted to stop on her own anyway. Its her choice and that wasn't even a big deal. I didn't even say anything to her about it. In fact it didn't change anything.
And also, I'm not expecting anything to happen between us. I'm past that now. Whatever happens happens, but I accepted that I'm going to be her friend and that's what she wants too. So that's good enough for me. You're right, love is acceptance. I accept all things positive and negative about her. The negatives don't waver anything in the slightest. In fact, that's why I mentioned it, because I love everything about her.

And I was anxious to see her, as in I looked forward to it. Its a way of saying

She's cappie and her man is Virgo, I don't really see a chance here though you are a Taurus. Despite excellent compatibility between cappie and Taurus, the bond between cappie and Virgo is totally magnetic and even a Taurus can beat it.
But am so sure she will be a loyal friend of yours for the rest of your life.

Posted by Yuneifique
She's cappie and her man is Virgo, I don't really see a chance here though you are a Taurus. Despite excellent compatibility between cappie and Taurus, the bond between cappie and Virgo is totally magnetic and even a Taurus can beat it.
But am so sure she will be a loyal friend of yours for the rest of your life.

Thanks for that! And I really hope so

Posted by GreyWiz

Posted by nasha82
You said that you hate seeing her smoke because of her health, well love is acceptance no hate involved thats love, so like i said how can you say you love someone if you hate things like smoking, if you met her and she was smoking then i say you dont love her because you knew she smoked from the start , she obviously only saw you as a friensfromthe start but maybe you was hoping for more but then again caps mostly want you when you dont want them so maybe she lead you on and knew what she was doing, make out that they want more than friendship then turn around and do the opposite, what she going do if it doesnt work out with the virgo guy probably come crawling back to you like nothings happend and that everythings ok, well that would be your choice, but if she she smokes while you met her why should she quit that habit for you quit for herself and no one else

this made no sense at all. If you love someone you would hate anything that harms them and their wellbeing. This is very natural.

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I see it the exact same way. Thanks for saying!