I'm unsure what to do

I met my Capricorn on a training session at work in December last year. He chased me via email before we exchanged numbers. Over the xmas period (I was working) we continually sent texts to each other and found we had lots in common. At the end of January we met up a couple of times and by that time I had fallen in love with him and he said he was in love with me. Unfortunately when we were next meant to meet a personal tragedy happened in his family and he flew out to be with them. We kept in contact occasionally by text for several weeks before he came back. He then didn't seem to make an effort to meet up when we were occassionally both off work at the same time, although he was happy to text me on those days. Then he had to have an operation which he did not tell me about until after he was discharged from hosptial (I was left wondering why he had disappeared). He then stopped contact with me for several weeks before getting back in touch by text. He did not explain why and just glossed over it (I assumed he was suffering from depression and just needed time to sort himself out. Since then the texts are fewer and he stopped contact with me for 4 weeks before texting asking if I was ok. When I asked him why he told me he would explain when we next met up (due to work we have not had a chance, even though I suggested I took annual leave so we could meet up) but his texts were far and few between. 2 weeks ago text me and in the text said 'believe it or not I love you', within a couple of days he stopped contact with me and I've not heard from him since.
Do I text him telling him I thought we had a future together but now I'm not sure and that if I don't hear from him within so many days I know he doesn't want a future with me or do I just sit and wait to see if he contacts me?

I would question the sincerity of the I love you. His actions are not backing it up and Caps are better at showing love than saying it. If he really loved you, there is NO WAY he would not plot and plan to be able to schedule and spend time with you. Granted, we are not the best at maintaining contact, BUT if we really love someone we will make a better efforts! Personally, I wouldn't contact him and see what happens and what his actions are.

How gullible.

He probably tells you that for a laugh .... because as sure as the sun rises in the east, if he notices you, you start knitting an afgan for your marriage couch.

I would add that he has a few times suggested meeting up but work does keep getting in the way (we work in the same job, just different towns), although once he lost his phone so couldn't get hold of me to cancel and another time he broke his phone.

I know you are right and that I should just wait and see what his actions are but unfortunately being a Virgo I find it hard to wait and want to know where I stand, but don't want to force something that shouldn't be forced.

Everything seemed to go well at the beginning until illness and bereavment in his family seemed to get in the way and maybe thats why I have been more understanding of him wanting space, it's just him not telling me and disappearing that upsets me.

If this situation had been when I was younger and I hadn't fallen for him I know I would have told him by now to get lost.

This being in love thing is certainly confusing.

It depends on who he lost. We are super close to our families and recovering from a loss can be tough! He might be in a really bad place and really wants to be with you but it may just be too much right now. Meaning....just relax with all the "future" stuff and be there as a friend if/when he needs it. I know when I lost my dad I didn't care about anyone or anything. Future?!?! What future?? Everything seemed pointless. Death can make you question everything about your life.

Being in love thing?

You really feel you are in love with this guy?

Not making excuses for him but in February his dad had a heart attack, in March he had to have a growth removed from behind his eye and in May his dad died and at work he is having more work to do and his rest days cancelled, so maybe that's why I've not told him to get lost (not because I'm gullibe lol). So I'm unsure whether I send him a text asking how he is, say he has so long to get back to me or just continue getting on with my life and wait for him to contact me?

Yes I really feel in love with him, we got to know each other via email and text for a couple of months before meeting and when we did it was as if we had known each other for years. I have been in love before when I was younger but this is more intense hence why I am very confused.

I have to admit reading various posts I did notice a pattern of Cap men losing their phones lol.

Sorry but I can't contain it any longer:

You know what drives us bat-shit crazy? When folks keep asking "what's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? Why aren't you talking?" Damn it! Nothing's wrong but it you push the issue there sure as hell will be.

Chill out and just hang tight for a bit nah man!?! If you can't wait, cut your losses and walk but he obviously has much more serious things on his mind than a "possible couple-of-months relationship". I'm not making light of the connection/relationship/feelings/love but ease up with all the need-to-know-right-now stuff cauz you will run him off! For a guy to lose their dad is a BIG deal, especially if they were close. He may come out of it soon, he may not but this is out of your control and you can't pressure or coax him out of it. But understand this....like with most Caps...If you walk away when he needs your support most (friend or not) you run a high risk of losing him indefinitely. If you stick around, worse case scenario you have a friend for life. Just MHO


And yes, I have "broken" "lost" "misplaced" "dropped" my phone many times when I don't feel like talking to folks. If talking to anyone (family included) seems to follow the same pattern i.e.

Me : "Hi"
You: "Jeeze, it's been so long, you don't call, you don't answer my calls, you dont....."
Me: "Well......I was "
You: "Just tell me if you don't want to talk to me ...."

anticipate more dropped calles, missed messages, and "broken" phones. Sorry just being honest....or I can lie to you if you want to feel better?

Thank you for the advice, I think I will just send him a text asking how he is, that I understand he needs some space, I love him but that I haven't put my life on hold for him whatever that may bring.

Don't box him into a corner with questions and accusations. Block us in and we come out fighting.
It would probably be okay to say something like "how ya doing?" but that's it and only if you feel you must. No accusations! No confrontations! Then if you get no response, leave him alone. I would probably not text, though. UNLESS, you truly, honestly think he's depressed. Then I would, defnitely. Don't bug him though.

As for phones -
I've run over one with the riding lawnmower.
Dropped several in my hot tub.
One fell out of my pocket into the dog's water bucket.
One dropped on the concrete and broke.

Maybe it's a cap thing - so distracted we don't realize our phones are in danger!

But it's also a good excuse. There are other ways to get in touch with someone. Borrow a phone, land line, work numbers, facebook, e-mail....hmmm.... excuses, excuses!! I've also used it before - I'm a klutz, they believe me.

Gee, Eusive Soul - you've given the Cap secret away!!! Thanks a lot.

Well I did text him with those brief few lines and after several hours he sent a text back with 'marry me'.

He was very intense when we did meet up those couple of times (once upon a time I would have run for the hills, but that didn't put me off lol), but I was not expecting this.

Now I know that people will say anything to keep you (some like the power trip) but that's not going to stop me living my life as normal. Would a Cap man be likely to say 'marry me' rather than 'I want you' if he didn't mean it?

I ask because when I reply I don't want to cause any hurt if he did mean it, as I don't think marriage at this time (not going to rule it out in the future) with him would be a good idea until we have actually spend a lot more time together.

He text'd a marriage proposal? That's odd

Posted by Metoo
Give some space and watch him come around. Keep questioning his intentions, especially during this time and its not going to translate well.
There could have been alot to that "Marry Me" but I think in this case it meant "thank you for being so cool and understanding and giving me time and space"

I think this is EXACTLY what he meant. Nothing more or less.

Although they come off as super serious they have a sense of humor and not everything should be taken literally. Its best to stay on your toes and always have a comeback. My Cap friend will burst into laughter when he's playing serious but really bsing and you call him out on it.

I think this guy was saying Thank You.

When he's serious with the serious s#it he'll show it. Until then...

Hard to read the face and tell the tone of voice in a text. I agree with MeToo and Inana.

LoL

I got "Marry Me" from my Cap friend a few years ago. I said something slick and he started laughing. In his words..."take me from all these h@es, move with me out west, and Marry Me." My response "ummmmmmmm, no!" LoL

It could be an earth sign sense of humor too because my Taurus friend would steal reactions from me by handing over jewelry boxes that would be empty lmao. Have my eyes lit up for nothing! We'd both crack up laughing.

You gotta watch these guys lol.

Sorry to bother you all again but I need some more honest advice.

Ok after the marriage proposal I did txt back that maybe that's something for the future but lets spend time together first.

We have continued texting and I've kept it as light as possible with the odd I love you & miss you (that's both of us lol). Anyway last week he text me to ask what I was doing on the 2nd/3rd/4th Oct as he had those days off. I said that I was working and after a few more texts said that if he wanted I should be able to book the 4th off. He seemed quite pleased with this but as there was a chance his rest days could be cancelled I didn't book it off. Anyway he texts me on the 3rd whilst at the barbers and after a couple of general texts I say to him did he want me to book the next day off. Silence. I took this to mean he was busy in the barbers etc and would text me back when he wasn't as busy. Sent him a text an hour before leaving work to say he needed to get back to me in an hour if I he wanted me to book the day off. Silence. On the 4th whilst on my way to work he text me good morning and I say I guess you didn't want to meet me today. He text back 'I did but my car insurance is due tomorrow and thats going to take me 3-4 hours and I've got other things to do'. I text back 'do you think you will ever find time to see me' and left it as that. I was annoyed as his not had 3 days in a row off for a long while, he suggested meeting up but then couldn't do all his chores in the previous 2 days to free up a couple of hours to meet me.

Anyway that night didn't get alot of sleep, but he texts me early in morning from work saying good morning and was I ok. I replied that I'd hadn't had much sleep and he asked what was wrtong. I told him it was due to me re-evaluating my life, what I deserve and what I've actually got. He texts back that it will take time and he wonders what our commissioner (boss) will do next, saying he would retire if he could. I then text back that i've decided I no longer want to do opur job anymore, I can't afford not to do it but that I have handed it to the angels to help with. Unfortunately the angels can't help our relationship, that's now down to u and whether u really want to make the effort and invest time in making it work as i feel I'm the only one whose actually tried to make it work since April.

(He knows I'm into angels etc and is quite cool about it, even lit some candles when I asked for my skippers 3 day old girl whose got menagitis).

I know I shouldn't have text him when he was on a 12 hour shift but he did catch me early in the morning after very little sleep. I've not heard from him since but didn't think I would as he will be working for the next few days.

So from a Cap perspective (know that none of you are him) did he take offence at my txt thinking what's she going on about, realised he hasn't been making the effort and is embarassed, thought she's sleep depraved i'll ignore her for a while or not even thought about?

No he didn't take offense. He didn't want to meet up with you. Sorry if that sounds harsh, not meaning to be, but you wanted our honest opinion. Caps are planners. If we plan something, we try our best to stick by it. If we can't, we are pretty good, in general, about letting you know and won't leave someone hanging. I'm sure that not all caps are like this but it is a general trait I believe we all share. We're pretty true to our word. Therefore, that said, I think he isn't into this and you should cut him off and move on to better pastures.

He needs a big ole L tattooed across his forehead!

Posted by virgangel
I know I shouldn't have text him when he was on a 12 hour shift but he did catch me early in the morning after very little sleep.

How were you supposed to know this? You read minds? Hun, this guysw isn't worth THIS much mental and emotional work. Save this level of stress for a relationship you have some real long-term investment in.

Set your boundaries and decide for yourself what's acceptable for you. I know it's easier said than done, but it's the only way to prevent you coming back here 6 months down the road saying, "My Cap broke it off with me and won't tell me why".

Thanks for the advice, I'd kinda made up my mind about this situation I think I just needed confirmation.

From a previous relationship I realise that when I fall in love I will do everything I can to make it work until I get to the point where I think I don't need this and I cut the person out of my life completely. I did feel bad about that as after 13 years the guy was totally in love with me and I really hurt him (but it was to late by then I was no longer in love). Still that was different relationship with an Aqua.

Unfortunately I haven't fallen out of love yet so I just hope I manage to stay strong if he does text me again.

Looking at previous posts it seems that there is a fatal attraction between Scorps & Caps and funnily enough I've just had my horoscope done and although my sun is Virgo my ascendant is Scorpio with a Taurus moon lol.