Is this Normal Cap behavior?

I promise I'm not crazy, I just feel really used and confused, I never let him know this is how I feel bc I'm not really good at being vurnerable or emotional. That being said:I'm a Sag woman dating a Cap Man for 5mths. I have yet to meet any of his friends or family and vs versa, however I really want us to move forward and him to open up. I'm pretty unemotional and controlled, but wow he is so aloof. I can't figure him out, he usually texts me everyday, but I only see him once a week and when I do see him we have sex, of course this is after we eat drink talk and I always end up spending the night, but I feel kinda used. He has recently open up and talked about his ex, who seems to have been nutts! But thats all I get. I feel like if he really wanted to get to know me he would make time etc... he text me Friday said that he really is interested in me, he thinks I'm so attractive smart and fun, and he always has a good time blah blah blah but that was only after I told him how great I thought he was, after I had not heard from him all day.He was kinda MIA over the weekend, he txt me sat asking what I was doing, I told him I was watching a movie then he mentioned he was out of town and said have fun, I then decided that I was going to go out and not stay home.He txt me yesterday but it was pretty late in the afternoon, to see how my movie was, I replied that I didnt finish it but went to a wine bar with a friend,after that reply I got txt asking if I stayed out late what was I doing now, I responded with we didn't stay out too late, we are having brunch now, then again he started with questions where did I eat, did I know what food month was all this stuff, I told him where we ate and that I was going to another bar for Sunday Funday, and that I was getting a bit familiar with the city. the txt continued with him stating he wants to do food month ( he never stated we should do food month)where was I going now blah blah. I told him where I was and I had meet some people who were trying to convert my College Football team etc... he proceed with we should watch that game together.I was a bit drunk and finally txt back that he was the only person I've meet here that I actually like, he txt me back something vague and generic. I have yet to hear from him today and am kinda over it, I feel like its all games, he sweet talks me and asks to see me we have sex and a great time for him to get all weird and goes cold then only to go back to hot we have sex then cold.

Pay attention to what you feel. You are picking things up for a reason.

You're his side piece, so to speak. You're his go to to get laid.

I don't think that we aren't compatible, Ive just never meet someone like this and am not used to this hot/cold thing, so its new to me. I think if I hadn't got my heart broken in the past I wouldn't be so weirded out or analyzing everything, but I don't want to be played for a fool again. I know myself if I didn't care I would have already walked away, but I'm really falling and this is not normal to Sags we really usually dont give a damn, care or even put in this much time, patinece and work into a person, I never ever do the things I'm doing. I'm really falling here and to be honest dont want to fall if its all a game. He is amazing smart funny handsome everything, but i do not want to get hurt, if this is normal and im not being used then I can be patient but if its not i need to run before my heart breaks us Sags are good at running too

I don't think that we aren't compatible, Ive just never meet someone like this and am not used to this hot/cold thing, so its new to me. I think if I hadn't got my heart broken in the past I wouldn't be so weirded out or analyzing everything, but I don't want to be played for a fool again. I know myself if I didn't care I would have already walked away, but I'm really falling and this is not normal to Sags we really usually dont give a damn, care or even put in this much time, patinece and work into a person, I never ever do the things I'm doing. I'm really falling here and to be honest dont want to fall if its all a game. He is amazing smart funny handsome everything, but i do not want to get hurt, if this is normal and im not being used then I can be patient but if its not i need to run before my heart breaks us Sags are good at running too

@ CapGirl he didn't ask me to go food month, he stated he wanted to do it. I always rearrange my sch to see him. The one thing that always gets me is he always says "He wants to do this or go here" but never invites me the only time he mention "we" is when he mentioned we should watch a football game together, and when I said I was with a friend he actually text me more than the norm, but I think that is bc he knows I'm new here and dont have friends here, so was wondering who my new friend was although he didnt ask, at least thats how it came off lol.

I keep hearing Sags and Caps are not a good match, but I'm not as wild as most Sags very grounded career minded and lova stability.

I can be pateint because I really like him, but I just needed to make sure this was normal behavior.

This is normal right?

But I couldn't invite him bc he was driving back from being out of town, I seriously think he was just wondering where I was, who I was with etc... and I think he was more curious as to who my friend is who, bc I spent all saturday and sunday with them and he has yet to hear about a new friend i meet.

Try telling him in a NONCONFRONTAL way that you want more time, contact etc. Make it about YOU, not what he is not doing. Let him know you appreciate what he DOES do. It makes a man happy to know you appreciate what they do. It turns them off to know what you don't like. Its not manipulation, but nagging about what you don't like is a bad thing, makes them not want to deal with you. Appreciation is a good thing and makes them happy.

Example:
The Aqua I'm seeing works out of town a lot. I used to be a little insecure when I didn't hear from him. So, I told him that when he is at work, I know how busy he is that it feels so nice to think he took the time to think about me.

Wow!!!! I get all kinds of contact now. Before it was hit or miss.

NOT manipulation, its expressing appreciation for the efforts they do make.

The boys?? silence is deafening. *crickets chirping*

Cat, While I feel the need to thank 88 for giving my fellow goat the benefit of the doubt, I'm not at all certain he warrants quite as much benefit as she is offering. In the exchanges you have shared here, there were ample opportunities for him to make an overture such as the example offered by CapGirl. She made an excellent comment, as well: —If you're not happy, you're not happy, and I believe that if you aren't happy in the beginning, you never will be.?? While the intensity of a relationship, general satisfaction with it, etc. may change over time, it is rare that the happiness you have in it will ever be greater than at the very beginning.

Hi Elusive! *waves wildly* —So beautiful, did you miss me?!?!?? I don't know that I have ever used this line, but it sounds like something I might say. This was his way of telling you that he missed you without actually saying so in as many words. It's a defense mechanism that saves the goat (and anyone else who uses this technique) from confessing that he has missed you before you own up to the same. With us, it's not an equality thing; it's just that we don't want to be the first to make such a vulnerabilifying admission. How??s that for a new word? 😉 With the Cap in this situation, it's rarely if ever intended to be manipulative. We certainly have the requisite talent and skill, but we generally have to be provoked into this behaviour.

There have been threads elsewhere about Caps and their perception of time. I know most people are not like this, but I can pick up a conversation or a relationship 5 days or 5 months from now as though no more than 5 seconds have passed. We just don't seem to have the same relationship with time as everyone else. This probably does make life difficult for those who might care about us, but I don't know that there's much to be done about it; it seems to just be part of our nature.

Cat, Elusive has the key right here: observe his actions. Caps do not generally verbalise their feelings and are not known for doing much to show them. I don't see enough examples here that I would be comfortable offering any judgment in this regard. Watch his actions. Does he want you around more rather than less? Does he make an effort to spend time with you? Does he make an effort to stay in touch with you? Etc. His actions reveal what he feels for you.

StoicGoat thanks for the advise, I will say I'm really happy when we are together and he keeps the communication steady. As far as actions he it goes:
Does he want you around more rather than less? I don't know, I see him about once a week when he isn't working, but as I said I get that I'm dedicated to my career to. What I don't get is that when he does have extra time, he spends it with his friends, or alone and never invites me. Or he'll go out then call me around 9-10 and ask to meet up or hang out but never invites me to go meet up with him and his friends.

Does he make an effort to spend time with you? I'll say yes he'll ask what my work sch is and to see if i can make time for him, but if I ask him to do something he usually has plans.I'm always on his schedule, which is fine, but sometimes it would be nice for him to rearrang his sch.For instance he asked me if I had to work in field this week and if so maybe we can hang out during the day, since he is working nights this week.

Does he make an effort to stay in touch with you? He texts me usually everyday, but sometimes i have to initiate it, I feel like he is testing me to see if I'll txt him, which I do sometimes but its usually later in the day bc I'm working, but he is always responsive.
But when we are together its awesome he gets me and i get him, he said he always has a great time with me. I'm very laid back and chill nothing really upsets me, but I'm really analytical so if im confused I wont let it go until I figure out a solution or the logic behind the issue.

Im really happy with him just confused by his action and words.

"[He] never invites me to go meet up with him and his friends." Is it possible he doesn't think you would get along with/like his friends? I've known a lot of people like this. It might just be that he doesn't want the drama of his friends involved in the romantic side of his personal life. You can't fault him for the alone time - that's just a Cap thing.

Caps are not known for mincing words, so you can generally take whatever he says at face value. If he says he has a great time with you, that's most likely the truth.

Whatever the reason, it sounds to me like you're just not a priority for him.

*such praise from you ladies...seagoat shrinks quickly from the spotlight and retreats to his mountaintop cave🙂*

Elusive, I don't know that you're over-analysing Mr. Cap, but I like to analyse things, so it would take a lotta analyzing before I called it excessive 😉

There's certainly nothing wrong with learning from your past experiences. Just make sure that you are not sabotaging yourself - and your potential relationship - with the lessons you have chosen to take away. Every experience grants us a box full of lessons from which we may choose. In matters of the heart, we frequently choose the lesson that will save us the most future pain or which requires us to acknowledge the least fault on our own part, even when it is clearly not objectively the best lesson.

Always good to see ya, Beautiful 😄