Looking for guidance..

Hey everyone,

First time here. I'm a male Pisces (a mix between dreamer and more down to earth, I'd like to think I'm reasonable at times) who has started seeing a female Capricorn. Things started off great but then I made a mistake. Being a pisces, I dwell on crap constantly and I believe it is easier for me to freak out than some other signs.. So here is what happened (with a little backstory)

Last year I was dating an Aries who just happened to also be a borderline (BPD). The intimacy and emotional attachment ended beginning of fall but because I did not want to hurt her feelings I stuck around until xmas. We had many issues prior with many breakups. Two months after officially leaving her I meet Capricorn.

So, Cappy an I are on date #3 when she asks me this question.. When did I end the relationship with Aries? In my mind I freaked and made the poor decision of lying about it. I fudged the date by three months because in my mind it was telling me she would see me as treating this as a rebound, far from my intentions. It was a quick answer and I really did not think about it. Needless to say she found out and eventually decided to at least speak to me. I explained that I screwed up, why I said it and also reiterated that the from the important aspects of a relationship it did in fact die much earlier.. but I conceded that I did lie because I did..

Before this happened she would text and call frequently.. She finally messaged me saying she had forgiven me and still wants to go out but things just seem off and the intuitive side of me is not trying to overreact or read too much into it. I sent flowers saying she deserved much better than what I had done. She liked them.

So, I suppose I'm just looking for some guidance on what I should do. I've never been with a Cappy and while I have read about the sign I am still on uneven ground in how I respond, view and read into things. A friend told me that Capricorns take a LONG time to finally return to normal after having trust broken. I think that all signs can do that but hey, just my assumption.

I suppose I should just sit back and see how things unfold? I'm not sure she enjoys hearing from me as much now even though she is telling me she wants to continue going out..

Anyways, there's my dilemma.

Brandon

Trust me, I am not the type that typically lies. I mean, we all do it on occasion and this happened to be a vulnerable moment for me. I want no link of the old relationship to this one. Anyways, I'm trying hard not to over think things. It's not really a strong fish characteristic though. 🙂

rotten STInking Liar how could u

Yeah, you came clean and was honest about it. I think you're going to be fine. Just make sure you tell her the truth from now on so she can see that you're an up and up guy. Don't dwell on it, just try to let it go. It will take her a while to notice that you're true to your word because she's going to be looking to catch you in another lie. Since you told her why, she probably understood and cappys are pretty compassionate. Just keep your nose clean from now on.

It's going to be okay. 🙂

Thanks everyone. When I get used to a frequency and type of communication and it stops I begin to panic. lol. You can certainly see a difference from before and after. I'm trying hard to just play it cool 🙂

Just relax. 🙂

Although not a cap... I know one or how they act ok... I would not worry so much... as long as they understand it is over normally they will come around...

I would however say... in life things are the way they are for a reason...

I would be asking yourself the true question...

are you just trying to feel an emotional void/physical? are you actually ready to have a real relationship only 2 months after you last one... I am not saying you can't but be honest with yourself... I personally don't care even if you don't post an answer... just ask yourself...

There is your answer...

If you are... and she is passing judgements... then it is not to be... you should not have to feel punished for something that was before her as long as you are in a healthy state... and it is not like she was your 100 th gf... that lasted only 2 weeks or a few months...

I personally take about 3 to 6 to actually get over a failed relationship... but that is just me...

PM

Well, those two months.. are more like 6. Have you ever dated an abusive Borderline? The nice guy in me stuck it out but the side of me that was invested in the relationship checked out way before that. I was hit, spit on, my pets abused, bruised and degraded. Trust me, I am well over it!

Now to your point. In a NORMAL relationship it takes me a long time, more than 6 months. But this one, oh yeah I am A-OK!

No more lies of any kind. Just keep pressing on, and be genuine and honest about everything and she will come around.

Posted by Brandonium
Well, those two months.. are more like 6. Have you ever dated an abusive Borderline? The nice guy in me stuck it out but the side of me that was invested in the relationship checked out way before that. I was hit, spit on, my pets abused, bruised and degraded. Trust me, I am well over it!

Now to your point. In a NORMAL relationship it takes me a long time, more than 6 months. But this one, oh yeah I am A-OK!

It is my personal thoughts... that you have some issues to deal with...

You also are not excepting the responsibility for staying in that relationship... which people normally attract the same types of people... you may be a rescuer...

Stories are normally never one side either... again this is the hard thing about being objective...

I hardly think you will hear what I have to say and take it to heart... any which why things will work out one way or another...

PM

Self justification effects us all... and it become the only right perspective...

Again... I don't wish bad on you just have a feeling you need to be honest with yourself...

Obviously this relationship is to fill a void... and you are justifying it by the state of your last relationship instead of taking the time you most likely need to heal... which will bleed over into you next relationship... most likely if you end up with the girl it will take 2 months to get out of puppy dog love stage and then you will find out...


Some times we have to learn the hard way... and then we never forget or we just keep learning over and over again...

PM