mika7
@mika7
12 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 174 · Topics: 18
my bf cap doesnt have ambition
Posted by mika7
Iam a virgo,in a relationship with a cap man,who has no ambition ,he sees life very simple..
He also drinks a bit,though he promise he will not anymore..but still do..
Sounds like a depressed Cap to me.
Is he atleast able to provide for himself? Does he seem content with his life?
yes,he is very content with his job(same for 23 years).He seems happy with his life,way to simple for me
what about the drinking? Iam a modest person,too,but i managed to have my own house,have a good job,iam a bit more well of than him.He says he is not '' rich'' as me,but in the same time he doesnt do anything to go up (he is a great spender,buying me beautiful gifts).
Ok it sounds like a complacent Cap now lol. Well obviously he's "enjoying" the stable foundation he built for himself.
The drinking part certainly isn't good but I don't know how much we're talking here so...
What do you mean by ambition? Like aim higher jobwise? Or more like doing fun activities in your spare time like travelling? If it's the latter than you need to initiate and plan and then suggest to Cap, trying to motivate him, don't expect him to initiate the things you like to do, obviously he's ok with where he is. But if you go ahead he might join you. If it's only career and money we're talking about, then he will do what he feels what's right for him, obviously he likes his job and the security it brings, the fact that he's in the company for 23 years means that him being there is of importance and he doesn't have to worry about being laid off. THat is very important to a Cap!
You'll have to be more specific for us. Maybe he's not the man you want and it's only you who has a problem here, then you should rather take a look of how much you want this relship instead of projecting your own dissatisfaction on him..
The drinking part certainly isn't good but I don't know how much we're talking here so...
What do you mean by ambition? Like aim higher jobwise? Or more like doing fun activities in your spare time like travelling? If it's the latter than you need to initiate and plan and then suggest to Cap, trying to motivate him, don't expect him to initiate the things you like to do, obviously he's ok with where he is. But if you go ahead he might join you. If it's only career and money we're talking about, then he will do what he feels what's right for him, obviously he likes his job and the security it brings, the fact that he's in the company for 23 years means that him being there is of importance and he doesn't have to worry about being laid off. THat is very important to a Cap!
You'll have to be more specific for us. Maybe he's not the man you want and it's only you who has a problem here, then you should rather take a look of how much you want this relship instead of projecting your own dissatisfaction on him..
He is on maximum grade on his job-he is working in the army,cant go higher on his career(needs to have more studies,like military academy, to go upper).Is not the case..
He will get a lot of money in 1 year or so,like a legacy,so probably thats why he doesnt want to make more money for himself(he think what he has as salary is enough).
Is true we dont have any fun activities,he is content with just watching a movie on TV.The anoying thing is -his drinking,like 1 or 2 beers daily,usually.But he gets drank quite often..and gives a lot of criticism to me,when he is in that state.
We dont live together,we see each other ,maybe 2 times/wekly.
He will get a lot of money in 1 year or so,like a legacy,so probably thats why he doesnt want to make more money for himself(he think what he has as salary is enough).
Is true we dont have any fun activities,he is content with just watching a movie on TV.The anoying thing is -his drinking,like 1 or 2 beers daily,usually.But he gets drank quite often..and gives a lot of criticism to me,when he is in that state.
We dont live together,we see each other ,maybe 2 times/wekly.
It honestly sounds like the two of you are different people and want different things out of life.
I really don't see an issue with anything you've posted...well besides him getting drunk, but two beers daily doesn't even seem like that big of a deal. My Cap father does about the same.
If he's content and stable with his life then that's a positive. I don't think you could wish much more for a person.
I really don't see an issue with anything you've posted...well besides him getting drunk, but two beers daily doesn't even seem like that big of a deal. My Cap father does about the same.
If he's content and stable with his life then that's a positive. I don't think you could wish much more for a person.
Meaning seeing someone she cares about being satisfied and content with their life. It may not be the ideal life in her eyes, which it's okay to move on if she feels she doesn't fit in it, but it's his life and if he's good then....
I think she should probably move along too.:-/
I think she should probably move along too.:-/
He treats me good(beside when drunk and starts to criticize me),very caring when he sees me.Very good with my family,every body in my family likes him:he is clever,funny,etc.
His life is very simple,work and home(he is looking also after few dogs at work and birds).
I discovered he drinks by himself,fact which really really upset me,found by mistake like 6 empty cans
in his room.He said he didnt get the trash,aka those cans of beer out,in one week,because of holidays.Right!
The previous Cap man i dated was extremely ambitious and fisttight,this one is totally oposite-no ambitions,plans and doesnt save any money..
His life is very simple,work and home(he is looking also after few dogs at work and birds).
I discovered he drinks by himself,fact which really really upset me,found by mistake like 6 empty cans
in his room.He said he didnt get the trash,aka those cans of beer out,in one week,because of holidays.Right!
The previous Cap man i dated was extremely ambitious and fisttight,this one is totally oposite-no ambitions,plans and doesnt save any money..
Posted by mika7
what about the drinking? .
Well, how much does he drink? One a day? 2-3 a day? A 5th a day? Does he get slopppy drunk?
Ain't nuthin' wrong with a little fun juice, but a lot could be problematic.
Posted by mika7
He treats me good(beside when drunk and starts to criticize me),very caring when he sees me.Very good with my family,every body in my family likes him:he is clever,funny,etc.
His life is very simple,work and home(he is looking also after few dogs at work and birds).
I discovered he drinks by himself,fact which really really upset me,found by mistake like 6 empty cans
in his room.He said he didnt get the trash,aka those cans of beer out,in one week,because of holidays.Right!
The previous Cap man i dated was extremely ambitious and fisttight,this one is totally oposite-no ambitions,plans and doesnt save any money..
6 cans? And you found them. You didn't see him drink them all at once, so why assume he did? Men aren't the best at cleaning up after themselves. Could have been a couple of days worth. Besides, I don't think six is a big deal if it's occasionally. Everyone's entitled to get a little buzzed. I'm from the south, rednecks can drink all day.
Posted by stillwat3r
So what's your point?
What is the question you need advice on?
Let me tell you this though. If you are not happy with who he is he will realize that real soon and there is nothing caps hate more than having people in our lives who are supposed to support us but instead try to criticize who we are and the things that make us happy.
Maybe she's just digging for gold. Nabbed a cap, so has expectations of great wealth. lol!
If someone judged me like that, I'd move on. Definitely. For sure.
Posted by mika7
He is on maximum grade on his job-he is working in the army,cant go higher on his career(needs to have more studies,like military academy, to go upper).
He's maximum grade at his job.
He can't go higher in his career.
What about this is not ambitious—
He's in the military and he's limited to what he can do. Military academy— Do you know how hard it is to get into that?? You've got to have good grades and a recommendation from a high ranking politician or career military personnel.
Posted by Gobshite
Another selfish bitch having unrealistic expectations on her male partner (or date)...
We desperately need to go back to the 19th Century, so some of you women can learn to fucking appreciate just how good you currently have it.
Yes.
He sounds similar to me in a lot of ways.
I make a decent living, but won't be getting wealthy.
Chevy Tahoe - paid for.
Modest 3 BR - 2 bath house in a very good suburb.
I live a fairly minimalist life style , and my weekends without my boys usually involves some drinking -- sometimes too much.
I just turned 40, and the dream of setting the world ablaze has long since passed. I'm probably what I am going to be, shy of hitting a lottery.
I'm stable, dependable, responsible, and consistent (some may call that boring, which I probably am).
I've accepted my lot in life, and comfortable with that. Complacent? I suppose ......
I make a decent living, but won't be getting wealthy.
Chevy Tahoe - paid for.
Modest 3 BR - 2 bath house in a very good suburb.
I live a fairly minimalist life style , and my weekends without my boys usually involves some drinking -- sometimes too much.
I just turned 40, and the dream of setting the world ablaze has long since passed. I'm probably what I am going to be, shy of hitting a lottery.
I'm stable, dependable, responsible, and consistent (some may call that boring, which I probably am).
I've accepted my lot in life, and comfortable with that. Complacent? I suppose ......
This ^^.
Caps just want to be comfortable.
Caps just want to be comfortable.
I would rather live modestly, beneath my means so I can afford to enjoy doing what I want, when I want. That's all I ask for.
Posted by truecap
I would rather live modestly, beneath my means so I can afford to enjoy doing what I want, when I want. That's all I ask for.
Dat's me ^^^^^
🙂
Posted by CapTenn
He sounds similar to me in a lot of ways.
I make a decent living, but won't be getting wealthy.
Chevy Tahoe - paid for.
Modest 3 BR - 2 bath house in a very good suburb.
I live a fairly minimalist life style , and my weekends without my boys usually involves some drinking -- sometimes too much.
I just turned 40, and the dream of setting the world ablaze has long since passed. I'm probably what I am going to be, shy of hitting a lottery.
I'm stable, dependable, responsible, and consistent (some may call that boring, which I probably am).
I've accepted my lot in life, and comfortable with that. Complacent? I suppose ......
most dominant earth/ earthy people don't care for WEALTH i notice.
it really is true about those who lack earth like Bill Gates. When astrologers say that you have someone who LACKS an element, they will PURSUE in their hidden way to get money and power.
it is really subconscious. He's the wealthiest man alive, and he lacks earth. Really, honestly, some astrologers are correct. Lacking an element makes one pursue what they lack -- material wealth.
but not Always the case.
Hitler comes to mind and he's dominant earth and air.
well, he was super wealthy and didnt lack anything after middle age. One could say that Saturn helped him after 30 years old.
It helped because of his Ox year (very powerful if driven either good or bad)
Hitler comes to mind and he's dominant earth and air.
well, he was super wealthy and didnt lack anything after middle age. One could say that Saturn helped him after 30 years old.
It helped because of his Ox year (very powerful if driven either good or bad)
Hey guys,
thank you for your comments,very helpful.
As i said,iam a virgo and i like to have plans,like:to buy something in the next 3 months,like a new furniture in my spare room,or to go to further education,or to go and see the sea in the summer.
Well,this doesnt apply to my cap bf: he has the same furniture for 30 years(''if is not broken,why shoud i replace it?''),no going to the sea or mountains,just staying in and watching TV).His life is very limited: work and home,drinking few beers and thats it.No going out lately, no dancing(ever-) or fun stuff.Iam not a very outgoing person myself ,but due my job i do a bit of outings related only to my job.And he becomes quite jealous,for the wrong reasons.Iam a very well behaved person.
By any means,iam not a gold digger,iam a bit more well of than him,so that is not the case.
My real concern with him is not to go further,if he drinks to much,i dont see plans from his part,lives quite a military life,i know his job is quite hard,but he is enjoying it!Iam afraid we will be having a boring life with no fun!( iam not a wild person,but i like sometime to be out and see a music play or so).
thank you for your comments,very helpful.
As i said,iam a virgo and i like to have plans,like:to buy something in the next 3 months,like a new furniture in my spare room,or to go to further education,or to go and see the sea in the summer.
Well,this doesnt apply to my cap bf: he has the same furniture for 30 years(''if is not broken,why shoud i replace it?''),no going to the sea or mountains,just staying in and watching TV).His life is very limited: work and home,drinking few beers and thats it.No going out lately, no dancing(ever-) or fun stuff.Iam not a very outgoing person myself ,but due my job i do a bit of outings related only to my job.And he becomes quite jealous,for the wrong reasons.Iam a very well behaved person.
By any means,iam not a gold digger,iam a bit more well of than him,so that is not the case.
My real concern with him is not to go further,if he drinks to much,i dont see plans from his part,lives quite a military life,i know his job is quite hard,but he is enjoying it!Iam afraid we will be having a boring life with no fun!( iam not a wild person,but i like sometime to be out and see a music play or so).
Posted by mika7
Hey guys,
thank you for your comments,very helpful.
As i said,iam a virgo and i like to have plans,like:to buy something in the next 3 months,like a new furniture in my spare room,or to go to further education,or to go and see the sea in the summer.
Well,this doesnt apply to my cap bf: he has the same furniture for 30 years(''if is not broken,why shoud i replace it?''),no going to the sea or mountains,just staying in and watching TV).His life is very limited: work and home,drinking few beers and thats it.No going out lately, no dancing(ever-) or fun stuff.Iam not a very outgoing person myself ,but due my job i do a bit of outings related only to my job.And he becomes quite jealous,for the wrong reasons.Iam a very well behaved person.
By any means,iam not a gold digger,iam a bit more well of than him,so that is not the case.
My real concern with him is not to go further,if he drinks to much,i dont see plans from his part,lives quite a military life,i know his job is quite hard,but he is enjoying it!Iam afraid we will be having a boring life with no fun!( iam not a wild person,but i like sometime to be out and see a music play or so).
Then maybe it's best for you to move on. Just seems like you two are not on the same page.
Doesnt initiate going out.He is a good guy,but a bit complacent,he could give the shirt of him for me.
Iam a saver,but not very (i buy clothes on sales,or other items , i think money needs to be respected),he is a spender ,spends a lot on buying food for birds in the sky.He has a very good heart!
Thank you for your golden advices...
Iam a saver,but not very (i buy clothes on sales,or other items , i think money needs to be respected),he is a spender ,spends a lot on buying food for birds in the sky.He has a very good heart!
Thank you for your golden advices...
When you're my age, a good heart is so much more important than looks, excitement or going out.
Maybe that will put things in perspective.
Maybe that will put things in perspective.
Posted by stillwat3rPosted by truecap
When you're my age, a good heart is so much more important than looks, excitement or going out.
Maybe that will put things in perspective.
+1
i met an aqua with a very good heart but i just couldn't get over the lack of chemistry and attraction. I'll always think of him as the guy who deserves to have it all.click to expand
i agree with good heart.
plenty PLENTY of men out there with good hearts.
but if there's no Chemistry, it's not happening.
Posted by SugarfootPosted by TwirlingStrawberry
Disclaimer - My post is totally null and void if he has a drinking problem.
It seems you've come to a point in your relationship where all the 'shiny and new' has worn away and you are diving deep into the day to day rituals and routines of your lives together.
This is a time that can be quite 'boring' and also an awakening to the reality of the differences between you.
Caps are often times set in their ways and their motto most definitely is "If it is not broken, I will not mess with it (and neither will you)." lol.....if not only because they cherish their routines but those 'things' they also took a long time to choose and they checked every single detail painstakingly so before they made the decision to have it.
You will need to accept that about him and if you are unable to tolerate such things, then you need to really evaluate whether this is the right pairing for you.
The things that you are longing for, they are things that could be done by yourself or with close friends....a music play, dancing, having a little fun with friends.....and in turn, if he is unwilling to do those with you, he should be willing to compromise so you can still have your quality of life, which will have a different definition than his.
This is the time when most relationships start getting 'real' and it will take compromise from both parties. People often lose themselves in the beginning with infatuation and when the dust clears they have to remind themselves who they are and what brings them their 'happy'. There is no reason why you can't maintain that 'happy' in creative ways that can bring you both to a happy medium.click to expand
+1
Does he straight up refuse to go out with you or just doesn't initiate? From what little you've written here, he seems like a good guy. You may regret not being more accepting of the things you're complaining about now if you do decide to move on. Besides, if you're doing well financially, why worry so much about HIS finances? In all of the negative qualities you listed, there are an equally amount of positives to those traits. Would you rather he ran the streets and spent up all his money on new stuff all the time? I know we want the best of both worlds in men but they seem to come in all or nothing packa
got cut off.
double PLUS.
i was wondering about that. he's making is own money, why is she so concerned about his so much and what he does?? it sounds controlling.
double PLUS.
i was wondering about that. he's making is own money, why is she so concerned about his so much and what he does?? it sounds controlling.
i like a bit of bad boy.
got it in my husband. A good man with some badness. bad ass. mmm yum.
got it in my husband. A good man with some badness. bad ass. mmm yum.
oh ops.
couldn't help myself. lol
moving along....
couldn't help myself. lol
moving along....
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