My Cappy's not makin' me happy

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happycapri
@happycapri
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 52 · Topics: 6
Uh...how did you actually question it? If it were me I would be pretty darn offended and insulted if I knew I was being honest, especially if you were accusing him of cheating or something along that lines and he wasn't. I know I am one loyal son of a bitch cappy, so I would usually just laugh at something like that unless someone kept pushing it.
I would say, just back off for a bit and don't go nuts trying to get over the temporary cold shoulder. I say temporary because if he likes you, it will be. (disclaimer: all advice is based on knowing my own cappy self)
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cancergem
@cancergem
16 Years500+ PostsCancer

Comments: 1 · Posts: 539 · Topics: 21
Did you apologize? Or at least explain that it was the fact that you were feeling insecure, which is why you questioned him? Keep waiting it out and allow him to contact you and then I would say it would probably be best to at least talk about why you didn't believe him. I know at one point I had an insecurity about an ex but instead of assuming anything or questioning him I just talked to him about it. Felt a whole lot better about it and he appreciated my honesty. I'm sure he'll come around. If not I say that'd be a bit fishy.
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oxlostxo
@oxlostxo
15 Years

Comments: 6 · Posts: 334 · Topics: 17
I also agree with Cancergem. Just appologies, Capis like it when you admit what you've done wrong and appologise for it, as long as you learn from your mistake. They do give you a cold shoulder when you hurt them, they distance themselves because not only they need time to forgive you but they also want you to realise where you went wrong, so if you show him that you are aware of your mistake and that you are truely sorry and explain to him the reason behind it, they'll come around, well that's what I do with the Capi I like. He taught me how to spot my mistakes, you know aries could be brash and blunt, so at a time it would seem perfectly fine, until he disappears and I look back to see what was it that I've done wrong. It always worked, because it shows that you are honest and aware of your own flaws which is important to Capis. Just text him and play it light-hearted 🙂
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oxlostxo
@oxlostxo
15 Years

Comments: 6 · Posts: 334 · Topics: 17
Yeah Amet, but he knows it when he does something wrong too, he doesn't appologies but he shows it in his action, he would text me a lot, or come for a visit, or something like that.

I don't know what sort of capi you've been hanging around with, but he could have just been testing your limits or something, and maybe your answer wasn't the one he expected so he dashed off. From what I can see is that you told him to either straighten things up or get lost, so he decided to get lost, why? because from what you said it sounded like you don't give a shit about him, but what you care about is the relationship part, and that if you don't get the relationship bit you don't want him around anymore, that to him is a no no no, because now he can't trust you, that when things aren't going your way that you are willing to cut him off that easily. He might have been sincere, sometimes they give you the hardest time ever just to see how much of their shit you can take. It is their process of building trust.

And yes I know, we aries have pride and all. But when it comes to love, you need to put that aside, you gotta be forgiving and not over analyse things and patience all the way 🙂
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CanceritaBonita
@CanceritaBonita
15 Years

Comments: 14 · Posts: 381 · Topics: 12
Update: The Cappy iceberg has melted. He says he needed to cool off and that I definitely hurt him by not believing him. I attacked his integrity (wow, really?) Good to know. He is pretty honest so I will be more trusting.

I also made sure he understands where I'm coming from; although, he did tell me if he says he loves me then I need not worry or be insecure. He isn't one to say those words and not mean them.

My crabby insecurity has been settled (for this go 'round)

Thanks everyone...I think giving him time to be alone without the constant texting and calling was the right thing 😉
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prettyladii
@prettyladii
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1341 · Topics: 40
Posted by amethyst2002
Posted by oxlostxo
I also agree with Cancergem. Just appologies, Capis like it when you admit what you've done wrong and appologise for it, as long as you learn from your mistake. They do give you a cold shoulder when you hurt them, they distance themselves because not only they need time to forgive you but they also want you to realise where you went wrong, so if you show him that you are aware of your mistake and that you are truely sorry and explain to him the reason behind it, they'll come around, well that's what I do with the Capi I like. He taught me how to spot my mistakes, you know aries could be brash and blunt, so at a time it would seem perfectly fine, until he disappears and I look back to see what was it that I've done wrong. It always worked, because it shows that you are honest and aware of your own flaws which is important to Capis. Just text him and play it light-hearted 🙂



Just be aware that HE has flaws, too, dear. Don't let him peg you for being the one making ALL the mistakes. It lets him off the hook way too easily. If Capricorns are allowed to be brutally honest/blunt, then so are you. Doesn't excuse not admitting right or wrong, but eff that double standard.

My Cap friend is off licking his wounds because he thinks he can be all brash/rude/blunt with me and not expect to get it dished back in return. He doesn't seem to like it when someone tells him he's not as perfect as he thinks. :p
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Same experiences with Caps. They get all hurt and sensitive when they hear their flaws but have no problem pointing out whats wrong with others. I really don't think this is a good match for Cancers though I did know a hella lot of Cap/Cancers together it has to be a really really weak/unevolved type of Cancer for it to work IMO.
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cancergem
@cancergem
16 Years500+ PostsCancer

Comments: 1 · Posts: 539 · Topics: 21
Posted by prettyladii
Posted by amethyst2002
Posted by oxlostxo
I also agree with Cancergem. Just appologies, Capis like it when you admit what you've done wrong and appologise for it, as long as you learn from your mistake. They do give you a cold shoulder when you hurt them, they distance themselves because not only they need time to forgive you but they also want you to realise where you went wrong, so if you show him that you are aware of your mistake and that you are truely sorry and explain to him the reason behind it, they'll come around, well that's what I do with the Capi I like. He taught me how to spot my mistakes, you know aries could be brash and blunt, so at a time it would seem perfectly fine, until he disappears and I look back to see what was it that I've done wrong. It always worked, because it shows that you are honest and aware of your own flaws which is important to Capis. Just text him and play it light-hearted 🙂



Just be aware that HE has flaws, too, dear. Don't let him peg you for being the one making ALL the mistakes. It lets him off the hook way too easily. If Capricorns are allowed to be brutally honest/blunt, then so are you. Doesn't excuse not admitting right or wrong, but eff that double standard.

My Cap friend is off licking his wounds because he thinks he can be all brash/rude/blunt with me and not expect to get it dished back in return. He doesn't seem to like it when someone tells him he's not as perfect as he thinks. :p



Same experiences with Caps. They get all hurt and sensitive when they hear their flaws but have no problem pointing out whats wrong with others. I really don't think this is a good match for Cancers though I did know a hella lot of Cap/Cancers together it has to be a really really weak/unevolved type of Cancer for it to work IMO.
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Really?? I think it makes it impossible for it to work with a weak cancer. I think if I were going pyscho clingy on my bf he would've up and left a long time ago
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happycapri
@happycapri
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 52 · Topics: 6
Posted by CanceritaBonita
he did tell me if he says he loves me then I need not worry or be insecure. He isn't one to say those words and not mean them.




that one you can take to the bank with a good cappy.



Thanks everyone...I think giving him time to be alone without the constant texting and calling was the right thing 😉
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of course you got advice from a good cap! 🙂