Trust or Not to Trust?

Ok... First of all I feel pretty dumb asking this question, because I tend to think of myself as a pretty intelligent person, but when it comes to matters of the heart I'm pretty dumb. I think it's because I am so detached and unemotional that when my feelings get involved, I don't think very clearly. So here I go... I've been dating my boyfriend for 2y. On New Years day I found out that my boy friend was also seeing another girl. He has been off and on with this girl for about 7 years. I wasn't upset or anything at that time, because I'm partially to blame. For the first year and maybe 8 months, I never really took our relationship serious or really knew what I wanted or how I felt. I mean I wasn't seeing anyone else and spent every day and night with him, but i just wasn't really ready to give my entire heart to someone. My career was my priority. It wasn't till after we broke up in January that I realized just how much I loved him and wanted to be in an exclusive relationship. At that time he realized the same and we got back together maybe a week after we broke up. What I didn't know at the time was that the other girl of 7y was still in the picture. Long story short it's been 4 months and he has told me that he has tried and is making the steps necessary to break ties with this girl of 7 years and that he is in love with me and doesn't want to lose me, but he feels obligated to this girl of 7 years and does not want to hurt her blah blah blah... I've spoken to this girl and she is a mess. She told me that she knows he is in love with me but she loves him and all of this other stuff... She pretty much stated this is how their relationship always have been. Mine and his relationship has never been like this. This is actually the first time we've ever really had issues. I'm just a bit confused as to how or why he wont just cut this off. Maybe its the Sag in me but if it came down to losing someone I really care about and want to be with, then there would be no hesitation. I mean he has told me that he is being mean/cold and distant with her hoping she'll just fade away or say she doesn't want him around etc... but why not just tell her the truth. Its like wants to be the good guy, but the longer this drags out the more I am ready to just walk away and never look back. It's aggravating, because I know I deserve more and am pretty good catch, but I'm in love with him and honestly believe that his intentions are to cut her out of his life. To his defense, h

Well, caps feel a immeasurable amount of responsibility. Yet, there comes a time when enough is enough.

HOWEVER, it's bullshit. What he's telling you is bullshit. If he wanted to cut it off, he could and he would.

He was seeing her behind your back before? And he's had since January to cut it off? That's plenty of time to fade out and cut ties.

He obviously doesn't want to cut her off or he would. Although we do feel a responsibility to people, we will make priorities and caps in general have to qualms to cutting ties when it's necessary.

I'd say give him an ultimatum. Not always the best course of action, but I think you've handled it well up to date. You've requested he cut contact and he's agreed he wants to, but hasn't done the deed yet. So an ultimatum seems like your only option.

Don't let it be an empty threat. Be prepared to lose him, but if you do you'll have piece of mind. Who knows he might surprise you and realize you really are serious about walking away.

Oh, just so ya know, paragraphs are eaiser to read than a solid wall of text. Most of us will just skip reading long posts with no breaks. It's hard on the eyes and hard to follow so a lot of us will choose not to read them at all.