why is he so dry?

So when I met him again after meeting him 2 years ago, he was really excited and up beat about getting to know me. He called me, I called him, ping pong, ping pong. He seemed interested. I thought our conversations were going good. This is like the last 2 weeks or less.

Recently, he is dry and kinda cold. Ive been going over this is my head thinking what I could have said wrong. Hes no longer calling. Im doing all the calling. He hasnt answered any emails. His responses on the phone are one word and not engaging at all. The last time I got off the phone with him, it was painful and awkward. He didnt even say goodbye.

I called in an upbeat voice. He didnt sound too thrilled to speak. Kind of like I was bothering him. I asked him what he was doing. He replied "chillin." Ummm ok, chillin doing what. Then I finally get a full sentence and he said he just got finished working out. Then he was going to shower and go back to chillin. It was awkward because he wasnt the same to me. So I just said that I would call him back to save myself from this perceived rejection. He repeated that in a question. I said yes, kind of reluctantly. He said he would appreciate that. I said cool. Then a long awkward silence, felt like 20 mins of dead air. I was waiting on him to say something but nada. So I just hung up lol.

is he over it? By it, I mean me.

Yep, sounds like it. I called back and his phone was off.

I did just that. When I called back, I left a message saying "quick question, do you want me calling you? If so, u can call me back and if not I can take a hint and that its cool. I wont call him in the future."

I barely got to know him. We barely talked about anything personal. I never even got a birthday out of him lol. The only personal thing I knowis that he has an 8 year old daughter lol.

I think you both might have had a fantasy about how each other was and then reality settled in.

Posted by soultalk
what were the feelings for both while parting 2 yrs back? if they were one sided (from his side) then probably they changed because there was no reciprocation.

they were the same as when we met again 2 yrs later. The first time, he followed me and my mother talking me up. Letting us both know how interested he was. The next day, I bumbed into him again. He introduced himself to my father this time. I emailed him but it came back undeliverable. Fast forward 2 years, not even 2 weeks ago I bump into him again. Hes even more excited to see me. I told him that I did try to contact him 2 years ago. He asked my permission if he good give me his info again. I gave him permission and I gave him mine 1st. As I was leaving he chased me down to say goodbye and to make sure that id call him later.

I did just that. I emailed and called. He called me back. We wanted to go out b4 I left the island but he was working. When I got back to the states we made plans for me to come back to the island in a month. I asked him his birthday and he says January, but I
he snapped and said i couldnt come down for that. This kinda made me feel like there was another lady in the picture. But I let it go because I didnt want to seem like some jelly girl. Plus, he was calling me all kinds of pet names on the phone. So I mentioned a few weeks later. I also mentioned that since he works alot, I would hang out at my house or the beach and wait for him to get off. He said that wouldn't be necessary, he would make the time. I would give him 4 days of my undivided attention.

I let him know numerous times how I felt and what I felt about the universe setting us up to meet again.

Posted by Damnata
I think you both might have had a fantasy about how each other was and then reality settled in.

ive never done a LDR. Especially not one from another country. But it would not have been that hard 2 do. My family owns a house on the island. Plane fare is a moot point.

He seemed very honorable which is what attracted me. But the last phone call was different. It almost seemed like there was another lady in the room. He wasnt speaking to me as a "princess" (his name for me). He wasnt affectionate at all. It was all business. "Id appreciate that" was all business. He usually ends the calls with nice flowery affectionate language. I got dead air.

I know what that means. Sometimes u need a 3rd party aka DXP to say wake up dummy.

He wasn't loved enough.

Posted by JenLove
^^^ Agreed. You didn't lose anything, it's on to the next one!

Agreed

Posted by aquapiscescusp
He wasn't loved enough.

I dont quite understand this statement, im sorry

Posted by capinc
Guy is a loser.

Move on.

agreed. Some True colors were shown with the last phone call.

Posted by DMV

Posted by aquapiscescusp
He wasn't loved enough.

I dont quite understand this statement, im sorry

click to expand

Why is he so dry? He wasn't loved enough... Maybe?

DMV, didn't mean it like a LDR fantasy type of scenario.

I meant..you guys met a couple years ago and maybe had an idea about each other which was false, and now that you get the chance to stay in contact, the illusion gave way to reality.

Either way, you lost nothing. At least you tries

tried*

Posted by DMV
So when I met him again after meeting him 2 years ago, he was really excited and up beat about getting to know me. He called me, I called him, ping pong, ping pong. He seemed interested. I thought our conversations were going good. This is like the last 2 weeks or less.

Recently, he is dry and kinda cold. Ive been going over this is my head thinking what I could have said wrong. Hes no longer calling. Im doing all the calling. He hasnt answered any emails. His responses on the phone are one word and not engaging at all. The last time I got off the phone with him, it was painful and awkward. He didnt even say goodbye.

I called in an upbeat voice. He didnt sound too thrilled to speak. Kind of like I was bothering him. I asked him what he was doing. He replied "chillin." Ummm ok, chillin doing what. Then I finally get a full sentence and he said he just got finished working out. Then he was going to shower and go back to chillin. It was awkward because he wasnt the same to me. So I just said that I would call him back to save myself from this perceived rejection. He repeated that in a question. I said yes, kind of reluctantly. He said he would appreciate that. I said cool. Then a long awkward silence, felt like 20 mins of dead air. I was waiting on him to say something but nada. So I just hung up lol.

is he over it? By it, I mean me.

That was a weird answer I gave you... I read your blurb and from what I understand he is pulling away to see your reaction. You have shown him you care by trying to contact him. You passed that test, aren't you glad? Now, you should wait for him to make the next move. I don't think he's over you, he's just testing.

Posted by Damnata
DMV, didn't mean it like a LDR fantasy type of scenario.

I meant..you guys met a couple years ago and maybe had an idea about each other which was false, and now that you get the chance to stay in contact, the illusion gave way to reality.

Either way, you lost nothing. At least you tries

I see what u are saying. Maybe I made things TOO real by actually calling and wanting to get to know him.

There was actually gling to be work involved on both parts. The cap in me says, is the amount of work worth the return? I can relate if he felt that way.

@aqua,

im a mars in virgo, moon in scorp, venus in cap, and I have venus sq saturn. I am terrified of rejection. Sheer terror engulfs me every time I meet a guy. I plan the abortion before theres a pregnancy. If I like him, its even worse. I have to give myself pep talks before I call him. If im sure of the reaction, through consistency, I dont have the fear of rejection anymore. By my standards, I put myself out there big time and I dont deserve that if he is in fact testing.