Your reactions please...

"Everyone you meet is fighting battles you know nothing about."


How do you feel about this? And/or what do you think about it?

I'm not asking if you like the statement or not. This is a fact. For you personally, what does this fact warrant in your social interactions, if anything at all?

Does it deserve consideration? C'est la vie? Does it make you curious or interested? Don't care? Indifferent? Empathetic?

Im pretty darn sensitive irl. I can usually tell if someone is down. I become a bit curious but dont press em. I have issues with people that take their issues out on others because we ARE all going through something, so inna nutshell I try to respect every single person and be considerate of everybody's feelings cause you really dont know. I tend to want the same respect.

Posted by lnana04
Im pretty darn sensitive irl. I can usually tell if someone is down. I become a bit curious but dont press em. I have issues with people that take their issues out on others because we ARE all going through something, so inna nutshell I try to respect every single person and be considerate of everybody's feelings cause you really dont know. I tend to want the same respect.

that's really lovely, Inana.

YOUR RIGHT A LOT OF FUCKED UP PEOPLE HERE
WHAT I FIND AMAZING IS THEY WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW HOW FUCKED UP THEY ARE.

Posted by CluelessCancer
What i meant is me and my Cap friend were discussing a mutual Virgo friend who has been my friend longer. Anyways the Cap and Virgo friend fell out, not due to anything, but Cap feels she's a fake friend, although she had just recently asked her to be a bridesmaid then demoted her. me and the Virgo fell out for other personal reasons...i couldn't deal with her actions towards my X-even as innocent as she claims it is. Anyways I talked to the Virgo last night and told her don't talk to my X period. She got the msg and was like how can I make you trust me CC-blah blah. I told her that's a process, but i didn't just cut off and run away, i talked it with her. Anyways. The Cap mentions she's black/white about things. She wants me to hate the Virgo and cut her off completely and says things to make me feel insecure about her and my decisions.
She says that the Virgo was acting very weird when they met to discuss the wedding as a group. She would be all "happy and fun" than sit in the corner awkward at other moments. The Cap thought it was WEIRD and uses that and other things as a basis to cut off the VIRGO.
I have another perspective on the matter. I like weird/Awkward it makes me think well the person is maybe in their head space & processing things. I like to communicate things. Not just think them and not attempt to understand the other person.

wow, CC that doesn't sound very "cap" ...from my experience, I have cap relatives, and even had a bff cap gf growing up. she had her quirky ways and so did we, but we never dissed good friends. you already know eachother's quirks. its loyalty.

hmm i see. when a couple gets married, everyone fades into the background.

I know this. my old friends from growing up faded and they faded me out as well. They got married, moved, ect. we dont keep in touch much either.

if they have fb, or twitter, then they log on and post but that's it. But no more get togethers. the outings are always with the hubby. The girlfriends are no longer, unless for going to the movies with their partners, which me and hubby do from time to time. Go to the cinema with his buddy and his gf, or me with my gf and her hubby ...that kind of thing.

well it's an unwritten rule. it's not something people have to go and get a rule book and say...
rule #5 do not go out with girlfriends to the clubs, when you are in a committed relationship.

besides, if you got married, why would you do that? Stay single forever if the clubbing scene or partying is always going to make you happy.

I was reading one of the famous film stars, Bridgette Bardot, loved to party and stay single up to her 50s, looking sexy. I used to think, when i was little how beautiful and sexy she was, but as i read her older years, i'm quite sad. It looks like a lonely world. but that's me. i'd prefer my hubby next to me even if he's focused doing other things and i'm doing my own, but we're cling-ons together forever kind of thing. it sounds corny but to me that's what i love. when i read the biographies of many filmstars like that it makes me so sad. But those of long lasting marriages and happiness....that makes me so happy!!

but then that is her fate. Just like many others. *shrug*

Posted by CluelessCancer
So I can't go dancing or even vacationing with my friends? Sounds like a very tedious and lonely life.

Some people like to go out to dance, it's just an activity, not to hookup.

You're making marriage sound like prison, which I'm sure it's not, well until you have kids and responsibilities.

Lol.

there's always dancing at home.

marriage is an INSTITUTION. Lock it up. throw the goddamn key away.

mmm but what a lovely institution it is. if you're a possessive person, it feels good. if not, and you want your freedom too much....

there's the door.

just funning with ya. It is different with everyone. Not everyone will want the same things.

Posted by CluelessCancer
I agree what you're stating sounds perfect to me, to be in love, and just have that best friend (your man), but isn't life richer with a healthy social life & networks.

I want to go to palm springs or somewhere tropical when im 50 with my friends...shit like that...get the heck away from the man and the kids.

girl astrology is my social network. Lol

i just dont tell people, except my husband. Not even my mother or sister's know. My bff does.

it's just TOO weird!

"Oh hey yeah..um i do have a social network i go to..."

"Oh yeah? what is it? Are you back in that writing club?"

"Um...astrology!"

😄

they whisper... "is that even productive? what is she learning from that?"

"hey hey! i heard that! would you rather i get addicted to drugs and be a crack whore?" Lol

"crazy woman"

----

a scenerio that will NEVER happen.

i mean girl, with a comma...

not "girl astrology" as if there is such a thing as girl astrology.

Lol.

Posted by CluelessCancer
I agree what you're stating sounds perfect to me, to be in love, and just have that best friend (your man), but isn't life richer with a healthy social life & networks.

I want to go to palm springs or somewhere tropical when im 50 with my friends...shit like that...get the heck away from the man and the kids.

CC, to be very honest. i want my man to be with me even when he's an old fart and i have to scrub his grey squirley beard and make his breakfast every morning. i dont want to be away from him, ever. i want to experience the last sunset and the last sunrise with him.

I HAVE ONE QUESTION
WHY WOULD A CAP CARE WHAT YOU ARE THE VIRGO DOES
SHE SHOULD DUMP BOTH OF YOU.

Posted by CluelessCancer
I'm a possessive woman but i don't like it, and i think for self growth not to be so codependent.

we can agree to disagree. Different strokes for different folks.

believe you me, ive had alot of growth already and me and hubs are growing together.

everyone's different and i can respect that.

Posted by james tate
I HAVE ONE QUESTION
WHY WOULD A CAP CARE WHAT YOU ARE THE VIRGO DOES
SHE SHOULD DUMP BOTH OF YOU.

The brain and empathy are muscles too Broh

Posted by CluelessCancer
I'm a possessive woman but i don't like it, and i think for self growth not to be so codependent.

It's not codependency, it's called love! It goes hand in hand with loyalty, something you are too selfish to understand apparently...

I didn't read through the whole thread, but I saw a video on this subject. Someone was walking through a hospital and there were little tag lines about what each person was thinking. Some were just diagnosed with cancer, some were happy because they were having a baby, some were sad about their loved ones, some were worried about missing time with their family, some had just received news their cancer was in remission, and so on and so on.

It was eye-opening. Like the bitchy waitress might be bitchy because her mother might be in ICU and they wouldn't let her off work to be with her.

As a cap it's hard to be understanding of people wearing their heart on their sleeve for everyone to see. We tend to think everyone should be like us and they should just suck it up and keep their problems out of their professional or public life. We tend to think people should keep control of their public persona at all costs and we have a harder time understanding why someone may be bytchy or emotional or distant, etc.

But it is a good idea to think about the reasons behind someone's actions. I tend to understand and be patient with the harried sales clerk during Christmas season is probably overwhelmed and has 50 things coming at her from all directions. I have NO patience for rude or poor customer service though.

We should keep in mind there are more suicides during the holiday season and try to be wary of that so we aren't the ones unintentionally or indirectly pushing someone over that line.

HOW DARE SOMEONE SAY A CAP WOMAN IS NOT PERFECT
I LOVE ME SOME TRUECAP, AND CAPGIRL 69

Awwwww....luv you too Tate!

I just don't understand how they all wanna bitch about the cap men!

I just don't understand how they all wanna bitch about the cap men!


LIKE I HAVE TOLD YOU MANY TIMES LOV
THERE ARE CAPS AND THOES WHO WAN,T TO BE CAPS

i think about this topic a lot.

i read the quote from a friends Instagram. It actually goes,

"everyone is fighting battles you know nothing about. be kind. always"

my immediate reaction was 'yes of course' but my next thought was 'maybe not always though' and i began to consider different opinions about it

in some cases you may have a real need to be a lil more aggressive with someone i guess. perhaps about a pressing issue they've been really dodgy about. instinct might have you wanting to run in guns blazing, but then given the quote??_ perhaps you should think twice and comport yourself a little more gently.

in other cases, like a few of you have said, perhaps someone else is clearly taking their day, their unhappiness, or their bitter mood out on you. I work in the med field amongst many many RNs??_ I get it ALL the fricken time and for the most part I let it roll off my shoulders as occupational hazard. But no??_ it's not right, and nobody needs to placate it. It's still bullshit. The idea always goes both ways.

My thoughts are respect always. Just always. And as much as possible, reasonable consideration if someone isn't returning it in kind.

It is case by case. There seems to be a distinct line that people can and have crossed with me, and I've stepped out of my calm demeanor plenty of times to make my feelings *abundantly* clear. But there are other times when that line was crossed and the person just seemed too unstable. Like I'd be pouring gasoline into a fire.


Concluding opinions, don't take things personally and give respect as much as you ask for it.

Even if you solved the biggest problem in your life, you would still have a biggest problem. 😛

^If the above statement is true, then
perhaps learning to handle problems would be a skill worth developing.

Maybe we should all go to hostility management class. 🙂

"Everyone you meet is fighting battles you know nothing about."

I always keep this in mind. I feel like in working any sort of customer service this is something you should always remember. However, I do not hesitate to remind someone who is being unnecessarily rude to me that they are being unnecessary. I don't care what internal battles you are facing. If I have presented nothing but kindness or generosity to you I expect the same in return. Usually I can't pass someone up if they seem really distraught.

Meaning that everyone you meet is fighting-having problems- you know nothing about. This is what it is like to me.

How do you feel about this? And/or what do you think about it?

I'm not asking if you like the statement or not. This is a fact. For you personally, what does this fact warrant in your social interactions, if anything at all?

Does it deserve consideration? C'est la vie? Does it make you curious or interested? Don't care? Indifferent? Empathetic?

When going out this is why be nice and polite and a good person as much as possibly can. If feel cant keep this in mind when dealing with other people just go. Indifferent to it. Do own thing anyway but usually have this in mind and when dont tend to go away and stay away because dont like not being considerate to people and when feel people arent being considerate to me then it is difficult for to be considerate to them and this is when it is usually exit time.

Its hard to go out and be by self to sit and think yourself and stay by self and not have anyone annoy yourself and then have people who come and space in to you and think that its ok to do so and be brazen about such shit really pisses me off especially when you try to be nice and tell them no I want to be by myself and sit and think and then they think thats a green light go ahead and I usually ignore and think about my problems til I cant handle it anymore them intruding on my personal space and if in an argument/discussion with them will tell them exactly what I think despite that they wont like what I say or give two shits about it or go drink more or just leave and do something else. So you know its hard to by oneself when going out and that is all you crave for is to be by oneself. I am fighting the urge to have problems in the first place. Its very difficult I would say.