How can I get it today?

Fuck your stupid party! No one thinks I'm cool anymore? I'll show them! I'll do something so cool, I'll be all over the news. I'll get trashed, like usual; but this time, I'll make out with my mom ... while sitting next to my little bro ... Hey, little bro ... if this doesn't work, you're next.

Dear God,

We just want to thank you for all the bounty you have given us, but especially for Lindsay Lohan because I could never make up shit that good.

-breaking bread with a tabloid journalist

ok so all I saw was blurr......