Virgo: Friend or Foe?

Profile picture of Gemini_Times_Two
Gemini_Times_Two
@Gemini_Times_Two
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 18 · Topics: 3
Posted by Gizmo
Love em! Virgos are absolutely amazing friends. I always feel like we are on the same page and I can be myself around them no matter which "myself" it is on a given day 😉



I totally agree with you 😄

Check out what some 'nice lady' has written about Gemini, on the Virgo board - you will know which thread I mean! 😛
Someone reeeeeeally did a number on her! She hasn't got 1 single complimentary thing to say... 😢
Profile picture of Joanie675
Joanie675
@Joanie675
15 YearsGemini

Comments: 0 · Posts: 180 · Topics: 6
I'm Gemini and it's only because I was trying to understand more this new guy that I'm attracted to (he's a VIRGO) that I tried to look at it from the astrology angle and.... ... I realized that I am surrounded by VIRGOS!!! Eeeek.

My mom is a Virgo (and I guess the probs we've had are more mom-daughter related that sun sign related), my best friend is a Virgo, another BFF is a virgo, the aunt I live with is a Virgo and several exes I have are Virgo. I don't really know why I didn't connect the dots before. And now, this guy I'm trying to "understand" is a Virgo.

Once I looked at it from the Virgo perspective though, I kind of "got it". But I still don't get the whole criticizing thing though. I've read in the Virgo forum that this is to be expected from them. I was going to ask there, but chose to stay in the Gemini backyard, lol.

So if the Virgo is not trying to be cute anymore and starts fault finding with me, does this mean that the honeymoon's over and we are still in a relationship (because this is his default after the "chase")? Or since I'm this and that, he doesn't like me anymore?

His biggest complaint about me so far is that I am impatient. Duh. Like I can really help that, haha. Well, I am trying to be more patient in general when it comes to him... but I am at the point where there are other people who appreciate my Gemini aspects, if I'm this and that, why are we together again?

Comments/advice would be appreciated! Should this Gemini bail out on this Virguy?
Profile picture of lildol
lildol
@lildol
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 334 · Posts: 8771 · Topics: 323
Yes, you should be more patient in everything! They go at their own pace in life. This is not to say you shouldn't demand respect... if he said you were going to get together at a certain time and he doesn't show/call because something came up, call him on it. You at least deserve a phone call to say plans changed. And, I'll let the Virgos speak to it, but I think referring to you as impatient, if it is you're impatience with him specifically, it is because it is an irritant. From my understanding, and experience, they criticize to improve (the one I'm seeing always softens the blow by saying he's not trying to hurt my feelings or be mean, but to improve me, in essence).
Profile picture of Joanie675
Joanie675
@Joanie675
15 YearsGemini

Comments: 0 · Posts: 180 · Topics: 6
Posted by lildol
Yes, you should be more patient in everything! -- And, I'll let the Virgos speak to it, but I think referring to you as impatient, if it is you're impatience with him specifically, it is because it is an irritant. From my understanding, and experience, they criticize to improve



Hi Lildol!

Yes, yes, patience is an area I definitely need improvement on... but in his case, there is a fine line between enthusiasm to see him/be in contact with him and my normal impatience at things going so slow. It's a blurry distinction but there IS a distinction. So whenever I get shot down for being excited to see him/be in touch with him, that translates to a mild rejection. This is my Venus on the cusp of Cancer causing the sensitivity, I guess.

As far as it being an irritant, lol. You hit it right on the head. It has gone from "I don't like it," to "I hate it." So for the sake of keeping the peace, I've decided to play the cool kitty and back off. What I've noticed with the virgos I've been involved with in the past is that if you shower them with attention, affection, admiration and praise for a consistent period of time and then all of sudden focus your attention elsewhere... it drives them nuts. They have separation anxiety worthy of a panic attack. I have no idea how to do that long-distance though vis a vis in person, lol, but let me figure that one out first.
Profile picture of Joanie675
Joanie675
@Joanie675
15 YearsGemini

Comments: 0 · Posts: 180 · Topics: 6
Posted by Ccdarling
Why don't they improve themselves? I know mine needs a lot of help. I say just hand them a shiny mirror.



LOL, I think I am just biding my time on handing him that mirror now because I do see things though that he could fix. It's just that you know how Gemini gets along with a whole host of different kinds of people? And sometimes the best way to do that is that when you meet a new person, you kind of observe first and get to feel what kind of person this is so that you know which side/aspect/personality of you can relate best to him/her. That's still kind of where I am.

I do have a point where I get pissed off and say to heck with it and right now, I'm curious myself where that tipping point is (it's a sliding scale, I guess, depending on how much I like the person). I wouldn't advise him to try to hard to reach that though as I'm mostly fire and air (4 planets in each element as opposed to 1 earth, 1 water) which promises a conflagration, lol.
Profile picture of lildol
lildol
@lildol
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 334 · Posts: 8771 · Topics: 323
Posted by Ccdarling
Why don't they improve themselves? I know mine needs a lot of help. I say just hand them a shiny mirror. I don't want or appreciate someone attempting to change me. Like me or don't but this is who I am so deal with it or move the H*** on. Why should you have to change for anyone. If they really loved you they would accept you just the way you are, regardless of your flaws. We all have them and hate to say but Virgos usually have much to work on.



I agree in some respects.. but, in my case anyway, its about driving, clothes, self awareness, or health, not about be as a person per say!
Profile picture of lildol
lildol
@lildol
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 334 · Posts: 8771 · Topics: 323
Posted by Ccdarling
I agree in some respects.. but, in my case anyway, its about driving, clothes, self awareness, or health, not about be as a person per say!

So he doesn't like your clothes? How does he dress maybe he would like some help also.



Oh, it's actually more-so my shoes. No biggie, as he said we just have different tastes. I've criticized his choice of clothing though - that certain items didn't match. So, we went shopping together - his choice - to find something that did.


self awareness? Wonder if he is aware of his endless criticizing or his know-it-all attitude when he really knows only what he allows through those blinders he wears? Maybe he could use your help here, might I dare suggest you should let him know just what you think. Perhaps suggest to him he take off those blinders and wear them less often.

click to expand




And I have no problem telling him what I think... I've become a bit more comfortable in this respect lately. Not only will I point out what I see is an issue (or faulty thinking or life choice), but what I see as a plan or solution too. For the most part he is receptive to my input and at least gives what I have to say some thought.

In the end, I think we provide a good balance... everyone can use some form of self-improvement!
Profile picture of lildol
lildol
@lildol
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 334 · Posts: 8771 · Topics: 323
Posted by Ccdarling
everyone can use some form of self-improvement!

Not me, I am PERFECTLY UN-PERFECT and any man that wants to stay with me better keep making me believe that. I will only change if I discover something on my own, I need no assistance.



Can't see clearly from the inside looking out...

But good luck I am sure it will be just perfectly boring for you two peas in a pod. Sorry but the thought of you two together just screams boring.
click to expand




LOL Nah, not at all, we went on a 12+ hr road trip yesterday and had a great time!
Profile picture of Joanie675
Joanie675
@Joanie675
15 YearsGemini

Comments: 0 · Posts: 180 · Topics: 6
Posted by Ccdarling
Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
Dont mind the gems lildoll, most of them dont have a good enough head on their shoulders to appreciate what you naturally as a Cap have and appreciate from us Virgos 🙂



You only dislike us cause we see right through all your butter. You can't trick a fellow Mercurian. Let us not forget that you are the feminine while we are the masculine of Mercury. Why can't you all just accept people the way they are? Why must you try to create someone else, more often then not I think you will find you may not like what you create.
click to expand




I've seen this time and again too that Virgos try -- sometimes subtlely; sometimes not to subtlely -- to place people in the same cookie cutter mould or at least one that they're familiar with. On the Virgo board, they claim that this has to do with their quest for perfection but perfection is highly relative and I think Gems are innately aware of this and, hence, have a greater awe and respect for self-actualization, self-determination and self-realization. That's why when you examine the long list of friends of a Gemini, it won't be surprising to see that although on the surface, these various groups of friends may seem to belong to different personality types or genres, if you will, the common thread that runs through them will often have a more profound basis than just the superficial which Virgo seems to base their criteria for "associates" on.

We create ourselves and we recognize that everyone has been given that same power. And when we see or get to know someone who has done a fine job with themselves of doing that, despite going against the grain of convention, even though it may be different from what I'm familiar with, they get a nod of respect from us. They're just that -- different -- and we don't try to change them if that's the way they want to be, just lay down the ground rules and boundaries for keeping the peace and getting along because we're different.

We adapt. We adjust. And our universe is one of inclusion and not exclusion. I think in the larger scheme of things that this perspective would contribute to more harmony and all that. Like if aliens descended on our planet, I think the Earth's diplomatic contingent should be composed of Geminis. Can you imagine if all Virgos were on that panel
Profile picture of lildol
lildol
@lildol
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 334 · Posts: 8771 · Topics: 323
^^^Our focus is just different - you call it repressed, we see it as necessary restraint which is required to achieve our goals. Despite my Gem moon and rising, I think a native Gem would have me off balance as they would have less direction - I work with a Gem, love him to death, but we call him the "absent minded professor". For a Virgo, I could see where this would have them off balance too... a little too flighty (not meaning that in a bad way) - I'm fairly certain that this would drive the Virgo I'm seeing batty; I'll admit, I can get a little flighty at times - not often, but it does happen - and when I do, he looks at me like I have two heads.

Personally, I find solace in predictability... Virgos, probably, certainty/steadiness.

And I'll give you Taurus, but Pisces?? They swim in every direction and can do so simultaneously...
Profile picture of lildol
lildol
@lildol
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 334 · Posts: 8771 · Topics: 323
Posted by Ccdarling
Posted by lildol
LMAO Looking at your chart... you clearly could NEVER understand!!! Simply too deep for you to get...



Actually, Gem my sun=intelligence Sag my rising=intelligence Aqua my moon=intelligence

So do you really even know what you are talking about. Perhaps you should explore astrology a little more.

What you are seeing is my Aqua moon that resist any and all forms of control, especially from a little cookie-monster like you! We are rebellious, shocking, and highly unpredictable. Please learn more before you speak, it makes you look weak.
click to expand




LOL You're all air and water... depth perception is limited IMO.
Profile picture of Joanie675
Joanie675
@Joanie675
15 YearsGemini

Comments: 0 · Posts: 180 · Topics: 6
Posted by gemtaur
What might seem superficial and childish to some is considered a no-brainer to us. Love is about freedom, freedom of the self to explore, learn, and grow.

To a Cappie or a Virgo that seems like insanity; but a Gem can relate all too well. Necessary restraint of what? Emotions. We're emotional beings, if you can't let it all hang out and LOOSEN up, you're repressed. Compartmentalizing is essential and necessary, of course, something we Gems could learn from you, but consistent compartmentalization results in repression, imho.



I wholly agree on that definition of love. And -- epiphany time! -- it also occurred to me why I have been butting heads with my parents -- a Virgo and a Cappie -- all this time. They keep trying to put me in a box that I think is too small and constricting for my personal growth. And I've resented it, rebelled against it, tried to escape it each and every time because it does not gel with what I know love to be as... even if they mean it with the best intentions. And yet, despite all the headaches and heartaches that I've given them, amongst all my siblings (and there are lots), I am still their favorite. So I guess, on a subconscious plane, they get to learn from me what love is about but being the Virgo and Cappie that they are .... they will never admit it, LOL.

Gems are magnanimous creatures though ... at least I think. That's why we won't often hold a grudge. It's too energy consuming and a heavy burden for our airy natures. So it doesn't matter when they get it, if they even admit that they get it... as long as they do. That's enough.
Profile picture of Joanie675
Joanie675
@Joanie675
15 YearsGemini

Comments: 0 · Posts: 180 · Topics: 6
Posted by lildol
Earth signs can evaluate all angles with ease and with great depth. Gems may be multi-dimensional, but lack depth of thought and can be rather superficial...



I beg to disagree on the lack of depth of thought. Think of wisdom and understanding as a wide spectrum -- let's say from Alpha to Omega. While other signs have the capacity to reverberate merely on certain frequencies, Gems will almost always be able to run through that entire spectrum with relative ease. That translates to a perspective with lesser handicaps. And while not all Gems will be equipped with the verbal facility or the writing skill to convey their profundity, this is something that they innately know and will be reflected through their actions when the occasion presents itself.

The logic behind the action may seem twisted but only to those who precisely has no depth of perception. How sensible is it to sit still under a tree to gain enlightenment? The only thing others may see is someone not doing anything better with his life, just sitting under a tree. But there is much more to it than what meets the eye.

As for being superficial... it's all smoke and mirrors. We relate to what you give us. Because we can. If you want to have a totally ditzy light and bubbly conversation, we are up for that. If you want something in depth and profound, we can do that too. So next time, give a Gem the benefit of the doubt and aim to strike deeper waters and you just might be surprised.