I’m back with the guy.

Last month, I posted a topic saying how I regret leaving a leo. I apologized to him but he was too hurt. He came back after a month. We talked and I told him how I’m afraid of getting hurt. He said he’s never going to do that, at least not intentionally. We’re back together and it’s been 10 days. All I can say is he has changed and I completely understand why. I don’t even expect him to be as warm as he was at the very, very beginning. It’s just that he doesn’t put in efforts like before, considering he wanted a relationship when I wanted to be good friends. I’ve tried to discuss it with him only to be brushed off with “I’m just not in the mood to talk. I’m not distant.” I gave him a few gifts 2 days ago. He hasn’t been communicating much after that. I send him texts asking about his whereabouts and “how’s work” type. First few days, he was romantic... now he’s not really.

One of my friends I talked to about this told me that he might have gotten too comfortable with me and therefore thinking he doesn’t need to impress me anymore. Or, already has me in a relationship this time with not as much work as the first time so he doesn’t have to put in efforts. Or, he is just protecting his heart and has very conflicting feelings about me. Or, he hates me.

Last time, I broke it off because I thought he wasn’t genuine and it wasn’t really a thought-out thing, rather very impulsive. I don’t want to do the same mistake again but it seems like this time he really doesn’t care.

For anyone who wants to help, yes, I’m ready to work for this relationship. I’m ready to compromise to gain his trust. I just want to know if it’s all worth it because I feel like my love is going down the drain.

Once broken, we don't come back the same like what Lioness said.

Harder for us to trust again, we'll be skeptical on how far the relationship can progress again and be all sensitive. It's like a part of us is preparing for the relationship to fail again. You will need a lot of patience and time to make him feel like he can reinvest fully again.

This is why even though I miss my ex, I would not want to go back to him. I know I will never give my 100% - 120% again unless he can prove to me he has changed and will do anything to salvage the relationship. Which I know that's like asking for the sky.

You will have to walk through the fire to reach the previous us. Which is probably still hidden in a cave and subconciously licking the wound.

He’s worried about being disposed of so easily by you. Again...

Why invest more emotions when he fears your about to repeat the behavior. He’s taking the slow and steady route.

Maybe instead of focusing solely on what you want and need, find out what he wants and needs from you. Relationships are about compromise. Give a little to get a little.

He hasn’t called or texted me for 2 days now. I don’t know what to do, if I should text him or not. I can’t just force love out of him, of course. I don’t know if I should let it go and just move on. I’m going through some other things in life and this whole situation is not helping me.

Posted by omlunn
Last month, I posted a topic saying how I regret leaving a leo. I apologized to him but he was too hurt. He came back after a month. We talked and I told him how I’m afraid of getting hurt. He said he’s never going to do that, at least not intentionally. We’re back together and it’s been 10 days. All I can say is he has changed and I completely understand why. I don’t even expect him to be as warm as he was at the very, very beginning. It’s just that he doesn’t put in efforts like before, considering he wanted a relationship when I wanted to be good friends. I’ve tried to discuss it with him only to be brushed off with “I’m just not in the mood to talk. I’m not distant.” I gave him a few gifts 2 days ago. He hasn’t been communicating much after that. I send him texts asking about his whereabouts and “how’s work” type. First few days, he was romantic... now he’s not really.

One of my friends I talked to about this told me that he might have gotten too comfortable with me and therefore thinking he doesn’t need to impress me anymore. Or, already has me in a relationship this time with not as much work as the first time so he doesn’t have to put in efforts. Or, he is just protecting his heart and has very conflicting feelings about me. Or, he hates me.

Last time, I broke it off because I thought he wasn’t genuine and it wasn’t really a thought-out thing, rather very impulsive. I don’t want to do the same mistake again but it seems like this time he really doesn’t care.

For anyone who wants to help, yes, I’m ready to work for this relationship. I’m ready to compromise to gain his trust. I just want to know if it’s all worth it because I feel like my love is going down the drain.

I dont remember the backstory, sorry.... why did you left him? you surely had a good reason for it? or?

Did you expect him to come back to you fully in love? While he still cares for you, he doesn't fully trust you based on your past actions. You initially pushed him away due to your own insecurities. Why shouldn't he expect that you'd do it again?

Leos are attracted to strength and confidence, not indecision and fear. As a fixed sign, Leo's minds and opinions can be hard to change once they're set about you. The Leo now sees you as an inconsistent, possibly weak partner. For this Leo the rose colored glasses have fallen off and he's coming to terms with the reality of you. He got back with you because his feeling have not died, but now his opinion of you has lost its luster. You're no longer the person he perceived you to be. Does that mean that he doesn't like you? No. However he's no longer passionate about you like he was before. He needs to see you put forth a considerable amount of effort before he takes you seriously again.

Remember that Leo is a romantic sign. When a Leo is in love we give our all from the start. We'll build you up and even put you on a pedastal as we proudly declare our affection for you. Leos make things incredibly easy and obvious when we're interested. This however can rattle people's insecurities and make them question the Leo and the relationship. It will all seem "too good to be true". As a result some people will become skeptical and attempt to tear down the "facade", only to later realize it was all real. However by the time that realization occurs, the Leo is disappointed, frustrated, and walking out of the door.

Leos make love easy the first time. So if you respond by making the situation more difficult, we won't easily forget that. The second time won't be a cake walk because we won. In your case the Leo was interested and you were skeptical. Now you're interested and he's skeptical. If a Leo can't trust you, we can't truly love you. We seek honesty, loyalty, and consistency from our partners. Therefore he's not putting forth the same energy.

Love, energy, and time are all investments for Leo. While we may seem to have plenty to spare, we won't waste it on a shakey partner. Leos are also a sign of reciprocation. The Leo put forth plenty of effort already. Now it's time for you to go above and beyond back. Had you done this the first time, this scenario would be entirely different. However now the Leo needs to see that his desire for you was actually worthwhile and not an illusion he built up in his own mind. The question is, are you up for the task?

@chuckcem I did say “I don’t even expect him to be as warm as he was at the very, very beginning.” And also that “I’m ready to compromise to gain his trust.“

However I’m not sure if it’s worth it.. if there’s going to be any progress. I wonder if he’s going to leave me like I did.

@chuckcem I mean, c’mon even the strongest of all is afraid of getting their heart broken, especially when they’ve been trying so much.

Posted by omlunn
@chuckcem I mean, c’mon even the strongest of all is afraid of getting their heart broken, especially when they’ve been trying so much.

True, but it's up to us as individuals to not take past hurts/fears into new relationships. It's one thing to be cautious, it's another thing to push people away out of fear. If you make a habit of pushing people away or running off out of fear, don't expect another person to trust you in love.

As I mentioned, I can understand why you pushed the Leo away. However as a Leo man who's had someone runaway just to return to then run away again, I can only give you my perspective. The back and forth comes across as manipulation and we Leos HATE manipulation/mind games. We protect our hearts adamantly and do not open up easily to those we feel are emotionally weak or irresponsible.

I personally always gravitate more to partners who know what they want and aren't afraid to get it. If a woman runs off, she needs to return with a completely new/positive attitude to even have a chance to get my full attenton again.

Posted by omlunn
@chuckcem I did say “I don’t even expect him to be as warm as he was at the very, very beginning.” And also that “I’m ready to compromise to gain his trust.“

However I’m not sure if it’s worth it.. if there’s going to be any progress. I wonder if he’s going to leave me like I did.

That's the problem, you're not truly prepared to go all in for this Leo. You keep teetering between being skeptical, to being certain, to skeptical again. Realize that when the Leo was trying to attract you, he had no additional help from you. You're the one who backed off.

Now the tables are reversed. The Leo is skeptical and its your turn to come charging boldly foward. Only in this way will the Leo feel like you're able to reciprocate his love. We Leos are looking for our queens/kings. We need partners who we feel are just as into us as we are into them. If we don't feel that reciprocation, we'll continue looking for a suitable match.

Fortunately you have a whole group of Leos who can tell you what's going on in this guy's head. While every Leo is different, we more or less respond to the same stimuli. Everything each Leo has told you here is true. We've all probably experienced a scenario like yours and can tell you what how we would respond.

So my advice would be remain steady and consistent. If the Leo seems to be pulling back, don't freak out. If you feel you are doing too much and receiving nothing in return, then call him out on it. It's possible he's sulking about the past a bit. If that's the case you'll need to stand up for yourself and let him know exactly what your intetions are toward him. We Leos response to confident partners who are vocal with us, even if that means calling us out on our issues.

Posted by omlunn


One of my friends I talked to about this told me that he might have gotten too comfortable with me and therefore thinking he doesn’t need to impress me anymore. Or, already has me in a relationship this time with not as much work as the first time so he doesn’t have to put in efforts.

LOL is this the same friend that told you to break up with him? Stop listening to your friends they have horrible advise and you already got yourself in a hole here.

And whyyyy on earth would a leo or anybody in general put in effort into something when they already got burned the first time? Leo’s are all cute and everything but they’re not dumb.