I think his mistress (girlfriend?) called

I've been seeing a Leo for a couple months now. We hit it off great, moved and get along wonderfully. A couple weeks in he told me he wasn't ready for any major commitments but enjoyed my company a lot. We agreed to go with the flow-I let him know FBs was no option and he respected that. We text often and have gone on several dates. He's quick to ask me where I've been and what I've been doing when we aren't communicating and has already inquired if I was seeing anyone else, and confirmed he was only seeing me.

Funny because today, I got a random phone call from a women who I've never heard in my life. She did the whole angry SO thing like "who is this" as soon as I answered. It was a twenty sec convo where she tried to say she Rec calls from my number all day. No butt dials in the log, honey. No way.

I'm not talking to anyone else, my friends and family are the only ones with my number besides him. And I'm thinking she got a hold of it through him. This is all assumption but I can't think of anything else.

So how should i confront him? Should I or just forget him. He's texted me today asking what I had done today, I didn't reply. He texted me again just now goodnight...

100% If it was meh I'd just ask him.

Totally up to you tho...

Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
Invite him over.

Call the girl back who called your phone and put her on speaker phone.

Tell her you're with him right now and hand him the phone so she can speak to him.

Watch his reaction.



If he hangs it up right away, gets hostile and yells at the girl, or anything like that, he's obviously guilty.

If this was some sort of mix up, he wouldn't feel the need to behave in a hostile or guilty manner.

Catch his dirty ass red handed.

+ 1

(I dont know if I could pull this off, thou 🙂 )

Just tell him. Or you can call her to clarify.

Posted by AriesLove
You guys aren't in a relationship though.

But if you feel disrespected just call her back and ask who she is and where she get your number from.

This is what I'm saying. I don't want to do anything too brash because we aren't even officially dating. But I'm not a pushover and that's not gonna fly. It's super disrespectful to have her cray ass calling me to confirm whatever she didn't even have the balls to in the first place ?

I'm probably going to call/text her tomorrow. I want to have at least some detail before I say anything to him.

I'm just wondering why she didn't press me further. She's obviously has to have seen and surfed through our exchanged pictures and texts to get my number and call from her own phone.

If it were me and my man I would've dug deep for some answers not hang up so fast accomplishing nothing.

I don't want to get extreme over some girl who may not be serious so I'll see what's up with her first I guess.

At this point I'm just wondering if he'll be honest or not.

This has been pretty eventful lol

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by NAVII

Posted by AriesLove
You guys aren't in a relationship though.

But if you feel disrespected just call her back and ask who she is and where she get your number from.

This is what I'm saying. I don't want to do anything too brash because we aren't even officially dating. But I'm not a pushover and that's not gonna fly. It's super disrespectful to have her cray ass calling me to confirm whatever she didn't even have the balls to in the first place ?

So call her first and find out where she came from. If she was his girl why would she hesitate to say that.

Don't make yourself look like an insecure side chick

click to expand

Right I thought the same. I can def keep my cool though. We'll see how it unfolds

Update-

So she didn't pick up when I rang. Sent a simple text. She replies she's married with children, had not been calling about anyone. My number was a missed call on her phone. Meanwhile I double checked, she is not in my log at all. ?

Twilight zone

PLOT TWIST-

It was a fucking test??

I'm side-eyeing all you Leos right now.

Just say Omg... this crazy woman called me

and asked who I was.

Isnt that weird?

Or some variation of the above.

Do it in person so you can see his face.

Simple.

Posted by NAVII
Update-

So she didn't pick up when I rang. Sent a simple text. She replies she's married with children, had not been calling about anyone. My number was a missed call on her phone. Meanwhile I double checked, she is not in my log at all. ?

Twilight zone

she's not in your call log? how did you call her back? lol

Why are you dating a man who gave you that 'bullbutter line' "I"m not ready for a relationship."

"I am not ready for a relationship is way to string you along while he waits for the one.

"I am not ready for a relationship" is a diplomatic way of saying "You are not the one."

When he meets that one who moves him - he will become mysteriously "ready to be in a relationship."

When he meets that special one, he will be ready to let go of the stable of women the average unassuming eligible bachelor has. One of these such women called you demanding information, apparently she was under the same gullible impression that a single un- married man wasn't dating others.

But men hate to hurt women, they would rather shoot themselves in the foot than to hurt a woman's feelings. Therefore they lie about dating other women. Even when you have indisputable evidence. All of them lie about it, most of them. The jealousy doesn't mean you will move from stable to thoroughbred status.

So with that said, how do you confront this guy who is not committed to you about his other women? Ask him to put a lock on his phone so his other women won't harass you. He is getting sloppy,

Posted by AriesLove

Posted by librawomen7
Why are you dating a man who gave you that 'bullbutter line' "I"m not ready for a relationship."

"I am not ready for a relationship is way to string you along while he waits for the one.

"I am not ready for a relationship" is a diplomatic way of saying "You are not the one."

When he meets that one who moves him - he will become mysteriously "ready to be in a relationship."

When he meets that special one, he will be ready to let go of the stable of women the average unassuming eligible bachelor has. One of these such women called you demanding information, apparently she was under the same gullible impression that a single un- married man wasn't dating others.

But men hate to hurt women, they would rather shoot themselves in the foot than to hurt a woman's feelings. Therefore they lie about dating other women. Even when you have indisputable evidence. All of them lie about it, most of them. The jealousy doesn't mean you will move from stable to thoroughbred status.

So with that said, how do you confront this guy who is not committed to you about his other women? Ask him to put a lock on his phone so his other women won't harass you. He is getting sloppy,

I would think 2 weeks into meeting someone no one would be ready to jump into a relationship.

Some people are just not genuinely ready for a relationship. It takes effort and when you have other things you are working on you want to focus on those things. But it's nothing wrong with keeping someone around if they choose to stay, as a friend. They can be a potential.

I've met guys where we click and I enjoy being around them would like to be with them but they don't have their shit together. So I pass or keep them as friends.

click to expand

It's been a couple of months, not 2 weeks, yet men who marry and fall in love state they knew within the moment they laid eyes on her others say within 3 dates. Read the book "He Not that Into You."

Men who really like a woman, will never tell her " I am not ready for a relationship" I have met men who were in no way fashion or form ready for a relationship too. One of those men, got a job, an apartment and got ready when I came on the scene. Within 28 days. IF those guys really wanted you, they would have flipped over mountains, and oceans to get it together. But hey this is a forum, everything is entitled to their opinion.

But I have yet met a man who genuinely wanted a woman deeply moved by a woman, that he didn't flip over heavens, oceans and mountains to be with. They like it they think it's a challenge.

Posted by AriesLove
I don't read books for dummies either

I guess Oprah read books for dummies because it was a book in her book club.

Posted by AriesLove
@Librawomen7

She states 2 weeks in he was not looking for a commitment.

Which means she asked him about it or gave that impression. So his response would only make sense. He just met her and maybe feels pressured or he genuinely does not want to put in the effort of a full blown relationship.

I prefer established men. So even if we click on a mental/emotional/attractive level I would like for you to already have your shit together that way I know you are consistent man who can/is/able to be a man. You can buy the world now and loose it tomorrow. That doesn't impress me.

I honestly believe men should come to women about a relationship not the other way around. That could turn a potentional woman into a needy woman just from the extra pressure.

People who have been in long term relationships or just got out of relationships may not be ready. A man or woman who feels they can't offer the other person the same may want time to work on themselves.

Some people just want to date. Some want to play, relationship is not in the equation. Some people don't feel like moving mountains to be with someone that shits old. Take me as I am.

People leave 20-year marriages to marry the woman of their dreams. A man can date a woman for 5 years meet the one and marry her in 8 weeks of dating. You sound very young and inexperienced. With all due respect you sound like you have never experienced a man moving mountains to be with you, so you really don't understand. I have way too many experiences of men moving worlds for me, and chivalry is never old. A woman who has experience a man's pursuit will never say it's old. You are inexperienced you don't know what you are talking about. So go ahead and have the last word, I am too old to argue with children.

But OP as you gain experience - you will run far away from a man who says he's not ready for a relationship. He will string you along, make you hope, wait, wish. But in his heart he already knows he will never commit to you, or love you.

Men hate to hurt women's feelings so they usually don't admit to seeing other women for fear it will hurt you. But don't be naive an un-married, working, single man usually have a few women. One of which you spoke with already. Apparently she was under the same misguided perception that she was the only one.

OP do yourself a favor; drop him, listen to experience; YOU WILL NOT CHANGE HIS MIND. I don't care how territorial he acts, how passionate the love making, how long you two are together, you are not the one. He is questioning your whereabouts because he is up to no good, and he is checking to see if you are up to no good. It's an ego thing not a love thing.

You will see. Sometimes you just need experience.

Lmfaoooo I'm with AriesLove on this one she has major good points. I think yall are reaching.

Move and get along...like moving swiftly? By the way she explained it doesn't sound like they live together.

And it said he wasn't ready for a relationship after weeks not months. So considering it's now months down the line, and he apparently set ground rules for only dating exclusively, but they haven't had sex and he's still checking for her I would think this sounds like being on the verge of a relationship with someone who is interested in taking things further.

If there hasn't been sex this would be time wasted- unless he liked her. Stringing her along for months just to gain the cookie when there's plenty of other women ready to give it up seems like a lot. But then again you never know. I would just call her back and ask because it's not that big of a deal.

And not everyone demands that immediate head over heels crap. And if you've got stuff going on its tough. It's definitely possible to like someone and want to ease into things.

Posted by NAVII
PLOT TWIST-

It was a fucking test??

I'm side-eyeing all you Leos right now.

What do you mean it was a test? he was testing to see what you would do? I am confused.

Call her back & ask her