Leo boyfriend gets annoyed when I go out.

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Scorpio4242
@Scorpio4242
10 Years

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So I'm dating a leo guy and I notice that he gets really annoyed when i go out. I tried to talk to him about it but he says that he just wants to know i'm safe so now i give him more details so that he knows i'm safe but now he says i just hate when you are away from me because I love you so much. We don't live together and its never taking away from my time with him. When I make plans with friends its when i know we don't have anything going on. I also answer my phone and return messages. The thing is i could go out without him knowing because he is not constantly like where are you what are you doing. However, I really want to keep an open honest line of communication but it doesn't matter where im going it puts him in a funk if its outside of work supermarket and things like that. I'm just curious——— when i go out his communication gets short to the point but I can always feel the tension. im usualy able to talk him off the ledge shortly after..
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TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

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that reminds me of my cancer ex bf.. he would also start to argue and get mad if i told him i cant see him when he suddenly decides to pass by my home to go out together.

My leo bf doesnt get this way though.. we both like to let eachother spend time with friends n family.. he only used to be upset when i am being mysterious about what im doing... but this is something about me.. I dont notice that i dont really share nany details of my everyday life.. and in return he would also be mysterious intentionally (he told me that) .. but i learned to share more and i find him telling me all about his day
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Scorpio4242
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10 Years

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@enfant_terrible lol no I do not tell him my every move. I got into the office late today but did i tell him that? no. However if i wasn't going to be in the office at all today i would have told him that, Yes. When im dating someone i share alot of things with them not because I HAVE to but because I LIKE to. if he says hey honey what are your plans for today. I can say nothing knowing thats a lie or I can tell him what my actual plans are.
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MadMarchRam
@MadMarchRam
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Why do you need to pacify his insecurities by giving him a detailed account of your night out—

I don't understand what this achieves other than eventually making your own life a misery with this unhealthy controlling behaviour.

I don't know, maybe I'm cynical due to a couple of bad relationships with controlling and on occasion violent partners. But imo, this isn't healthy and doesn't get better only worse in the end.

I hope I'm wrong and it is just because 'he loves you' and 'doesn't trust other men' etc
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TxOgal
@TxOgal
11 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

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Posted by MiZLeo
Control freak! I don't buy the whole "I'm worried about your safety" B.S. that guys say. I think it is just a way to control you and see what your doing. I know how to take care of myself, I did it before they ever came along, and I can do it after them. If I'm going out with my female friends your lucky if you get a drunk text from me telling you how much I want to fuck you at the moment! haha. Then I disappear again and you will hear from me the next day(unless I do go and see them that night). And then to say that he loves you is just a distraction tactic to get you to forget the fact that he is being a control freak. I'll tell you where I'm going and who I am going with but I'm not going to give you a play by play as to what I'm doing unless I'm really bored and texting you for entertainment.
I dont think it's about control.. probably jealousy.. that shes having fun without him
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Scorpio4242
@Scorpio4242
10 Years

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@madmarchram Sorry for the misunderstanding he doesn't ask for details. he mentioned safety as a concern so i might tell him what part of town or how many other people with me so he knows i'm not alone and not to worry about my safety. because i do think he is concerned about me. if its late and he picks me up he comes to my door to get me. he doesnt let me just walk out and the same for when he drops me off.. when we are out walking. he wants me to walk on the inside of him. little things like that. but i think its honestly a little more than that so that's why i posted my question. your input is appreciated :-)
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Scorpio4242
@Scorpio4242
10 Years

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Posted by MiZLeo
He shouldn't get annoyed that your going out with your friends. That's healthy. Plus, it gives him an opportunity to go out with his friends. I'm sure if it was the other way around he would tell you that you are to clingy and that you need to back off and he needs his bro time.

I dunno, guys always act like I'm this like delicate flower and they need to "protect me". Which, I do appreciate and I do like to feel like my man can protect me, but it gets annoying when it comes to them constantly worrying about me. I carry 2 daggers and pepper spray in my car with me at all times. I want a gun and my concealed weapons permit, but that is not going to happen until next year. I also used to take karate. Like I said, I can take care of myself. Even with all that the guy I'm dating now is always like "I need to know your alright" which is fine, and I tell him but really I'm rolling my eyes when he asks.
agreed 100% .. whats to be annoyed about and thets why i posted. when we first started dating he use to do this hot and cold thing that drove me nuts and we were able to get out of that so im sure that if i approach the situation in the correct way he will be receptive to what i have to say . so i really appreciate the feedback. I think that the firs part of fixing an issue is to understand why its being done. I flat out asked him why he gets annoyed but i dont think his answer is 100% true ..
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Scorpio4242
@Scorpio4242
10 Years

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Posted by TheLibraMudra
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by Scorpio4242
When im dating someone i share alot of things with them not because I HAVE to but because I LIKE to. .
This.

It's never "TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING NOW OR ELSE." It's me saying "Baaabe, I'm gonna do this and possibly go here and here then get something to eat. I'll be home in a few hours, kayyy? Face time in a bit." He does the same for me when he goes out. We voluntarily give each other play by plays. It's something we both like and want. I've been in 2 crap relationships over 10 years and what I have here with this Leo isn't unhealthy in the least. I'm not the OH HELL NO YOU'RE NOT GONNA CHECK UP ON ME type. I know my strength and my independence, so does he. I'm just a good girl to my man. Well, now at least. Not when I was younger haha.
click to expand


i agree 100% thelibramoon telling him doesn't bother me him being annoyed does
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CocoKat
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Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by MadMarchRam
But imo, this isn't healthy and doesn't get better only worse in the end.
I disagree with this part. I'm always possessive in the beginning, eventually I learn my place. It could potentially get worse if she keeps enabling his behavior by being too accepting of it though. That's when it becomes a norm.
click to expand

I agree with this. You would wonder if something was wrong if he weren't a lil possessive. You can ween him off of your whereabouts with time and trust built up starting now. You can reach into your intuition with him and the pacing. I wouldn't combat this in a fiery way. It may hurt and insult him and bruise his ego.
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Scorpio4242
@Scorpio4242
10 Years

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Posted by TheLibraMudra
Posted by Scorpio4242
Posted by TheLibraMudra
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by Scorpio4242
When im dating someone i share alot of things with them not because I HAVE to but because I LIKE to. .
This.

It's never "TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING NOW OR ELSE." It's me saying "Baaabe, I'm gonna do this and possibly go here and here then get something to eat. I'll be home in a few hours, kayyy? Face time in a bit." He does the same for me when he goes out. We voluntarily give each other play by plays. It's something we both like and want. I've been in 2 crap relationships over 10 years and what I have here with this Leo isn't unhealthy in the least. I'm not the OH HELL NO YOU'RE NOT GONNA CHECK UP ON ME type. I know my strength and my independence, so does he. I'm just a good girl to my man. Well, now at least. Not when I was younger haha.

i agree 100% thelibramoon telling him doesn't bother me him being annoyed does
Yea, it's just something he will have to get over. They just get like that, sulky babes lol. As long as he gets over it quick, though. Because you're doing nothing wrong. Hopefully he can see that. I just give mine some lovey dovey and it stops. Or i'll just tell him i'm going to give him some space to work out his attitude. It never lasts long.
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Yeah, I know. He is just the sweetest guy ever and not so much when he is like that .. its like who is this guy? I don't like him.. I want my baby back but if I make an effort he is receptive to it.
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Scorpio4242
@Scorpio4242
10 Years

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Posted by MagicPowas
Go out with him on occasion and tell him to stop tripping when you go out. Maybe you're doing something to make him feel insecure, maybe he's insecure by nature or maybe he's not insecure and just concerned about his lover. He's your man and he is not pleased. He needs to be pleased because he is your man. Make sure he's pleased by catering to his wishes but request that he compromise a bit with his wishes. He needs to ease up on that leash.

so he actually took me out to dinner last night because I had a bad; because he was so extra sweet and according to him and the night was "all about me". I used the opportunity to revisit the topic. So apparently I am "extra sexy" and a "sexy dresser" and he says he sees guys checking me out while we are together so he say that he can only imagine what happens when he is not around. LOL the conversation was light and I think in talking about it he realized how silly it sounded. He actually laughed at himself a few times. I'm sure he will adjust quite well as I am not dismissive of his feelings. Its one of those things that he is going to have to work through within himself.
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Scorpio4242
@Scorpio4242
10 Years

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Posted by CocoKat
Posted by enfant_terrible
Posted by MadMarchRam
But imo, this isn't healthy and doesn't get better only worse in the end.
I disagree with this part. I'm always possessive in the beginning, eventually I learn my place. It could potentially get worse if she keeps enabling his behavior by being too accepting of it though. That's when it becomes a norm.
I agree with this. You would wonder if something was wrong if he weren't a lil possessive. You can ween him off of your whereabouts with time and trust built up starting now. You can reach into your intuition with him and the pacing. I wouldn't combat this in a fiery way. It may hurt and insult him and bruise his ego.
click to expand

Yeah im sweet about it.. I just really wanted to know why so I can know how to address the situation. You have all been very helpful
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Scorpio4242
@Scorpio4242
10 Years

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Posted by starlover
Tell him to get over himself and remind him you are not joined at the hip


That must be exhausting having a bf who acts like a stern father


Ugh

Naturally I don't go out that much ... But yeah his reaction when I did became annoying. However, the relationship in it self isn't exhausting. No one is perfect. We all have insecurities of some sort. Just have to figure out how to work through them
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Angmodurian
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10 Years

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Its so tiring to always need to know the whereabouts of your other half lol, we aquas have no issues in this because we trust the other half pretty much completely. Life needs friends too other than your lover. It provides people space to breathe. Sticking together the whole time might make the relationship turns stale quick. Allowing ample freedom in the relationship is more heatlhy.
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Angmodurian
@Angmodurian
10 Years

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Posted by starlover
Posted by Scorpio4242
Posted by starlover
Tell him to get over himself and remind him you are not joined at the hip


That must be exhausting having a bf who acts like a stern father


Ugh

Naturally I don't go out that much ... But yeah his reaction when I did became annoying. However, the relationship in it self isn't exhausting. No one is perfect. We all have insecurities of some sort. Just have to figure out how to work through them
Maybe he needs to learn to trust himself more and then you
click to expand

The issues is definitely with the guy. Why the insecurity if you have invested the love in her in the first place. I just dont get some people lol, if you have already decided the person is the one for you it means you entrust your heart to them but yet they do all sorts of personal checking.
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LadyNeptune
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Posted by Scorpio4242
Wow @ MizLeo :-) thanks for your input its appreciated. He isnt asking for a play by play either He doesn't do that and it would be unfair me if i said he did. I just noticed that he gets annoyed when i go out. he doesnt become a stalker or anything. i just notice a shift in his mood.
It's possible he had an ex go out, get drunk and hook up with someone else. He may be projecting his insecurities thusly on you.

Talk to him. Reassure him.
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Scorpio4242
@Scorpio4242
10 Years

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@greywiz You could be correct but I am having the time of my life.. He is so sweet, loving and romantic.............. 1st Leo guy I ever dated.. You are a Leo😉 you know how you guys get. You are correct. He did a lot of weird things and I would be like what the hell? but I always remained calm because I know I can be emotional and vindictive. In doing that everything came full circle on its own. No manipulation; I don't try to control him because I KNOW that I cant. I just let him be and love him for who he is. I'ts a lot that I am still learning and don't know but I look forward to learning more about him. the more I learn the more I love. He would act a fool but I never got excited. I still don't. Me being emotional has caused me to lose and hurt people I love so I am careful about how I react when i'm upset, hurt, angry, etc. Learning to control my emotions is the best self taught lesson ever. Not sure what the future holds but I enjoy him spoiling me.
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Soul
@Soul
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The only time I really care what a current ex was doing while going out was when I was 90% sure it was negative.

Normally this is when they have more guy friends then woman, flirtatious, easily influence by bad things (like myself), and I already know they get easily distracted by other people.

So yea, when I'm 99% sure she's an untrustworthy slut on her own I tend to watch closely.
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Hjohnson92
@Hjohnson92
10 Years

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Leo men want to be the center of attention they want to know that they mean more to you than anyone if you're really serious about being with him don't spend too much time going out all the time and if you spend some time going out make sure sometimes you invite him to make him feel loved or when you come back pamper him and spend quality time with him every chance that you can make him feel that he is a king that way you can take his mind off of thinking going out is more important to you then him