quick to burn out?

I recently got chatting to Leo guy online, and he has been contacting me daily up to like 10 times a day . Im not going to deny that i like the attention, (even when he`s using pet names like cutie, sweetie, gorgeous, babe..you know the script)! We chat about everything but havent met up yet. He works shifts as a fireman and i have work too, so far we havent been ale to meet at a mutually convenient time, sometimes I feel like hes being a little lazy about it. I guess I just dont know how seriously I can take him. Is it usual for Leos to be this intense in terms of communication yet hold back from leaping into an actual date/meet up for real?

This is what they call a "textationship."

If he's too lazy to make a move, just ask yourself why you'd want to bother with such an individual? Personally, I find it a turn off. It says a lot about a guy if he's too lazy to get around to it. All talk and no action = no bueno.

As far as it being a Leo thing? Depends on the Leo. I've known some who are straightforward and then there's the more reserved, kinda shy type. I could see it going that way.

But overall, the whole situation seems womp womp.

Thanks! Yeah, I mean he says he asked for a shift swap, but that was last week. I know its a busy time of year for emergency services, but its not like he has to reserve an entire day! Anyway, yeah i agree im just going to take an almighty step back from the situation. I heard its all about the ego, prrrrrrrr!!

I agree with Rockyroadicecream. My libra buddy just got out of a 3 month "textationship" with a Gemini she met at the mall. He was buttering her up for months with all sorts of texts which slowly became sexual and she was so wrapped up in all this that by the time they where supposed to meet, he bailed, cancelled last minute and then disappeared only to reappear 3 weeks later. She then waited 3 weeks to text him back he did another disappearing act after a few brief texts and promises remade. A week later of nothing happening other than more texts, she ran into him at the mall and she saw him with what appeared to be his wife and children. Don't fall for the texting game, if hes serious he'll make a point to see you regardless of sun sign.

Well yeah, this guy is trying the whole "sexting" thing, and to be honest, its really fucking boring! I mean a bit of kinky distraction is fun, but if thats how narrow your conversation skills are then, it kind of sets the red flags a-waving 🙂 I think hes single, or at least he has an active profile on a dating website. Prick!

Exactly. I've been through that before. At some point, you just know they're full of shit. I've got a friend who's notorious for doing this. A majority of communication is via text, which I'm whatever about. But in regard to hanging out- never happens. "We need to hang out soon!" Semi attempts are made to hang out ("when are you free? When do you work this week?"), but nothing ever happens. I rarely even bother bringing it up anymore. I did recently, not sure why because I knew what the answer would be. Sure enough, "Oh, I have some things coming up." Oh okay, so you talk about us hanging out but always manage to make tons of other plans with everyone else.

^Textationship.

**this has only been going on for a couple of weeks**

Posted by littlelibra
**this has only been going on for a couple of weeks**

a couple of weeks with no real contact is a yellow light (still not red or green tho)...

littlelibra there are things you can do to get the show on the road and figure out if this is going anywhere without seeming like the aggressor...

well come forth with your suggestions puhlease!!!

wait several hours to respond to the texts and get busy! You're becoming the texting buddy. Don't be so available or he'll get bored. You don't want to be the texting "buddy" its just not sexy. Put a timeline on how many more days, weeks or months you are going to put up with him not asking you out and stick to it. When that date arrives kindly let him know you are no longer available for texts but would welcome telephone calls and/or meeting up. See if he steps up to the plate.

Aaagghhh I just now noticed you pointed out he has a dating profile up on a website which means as soon as he finds a woman or women to get involved with your "textationship" will be put on hold or forgotten. I would push up dday.

I dont always text him straight away, no, no nooooo!!! Maybe even 7 hours late or the next day, i can deal with that! He knows (because i told him from the start) that i have a very low boredom threshold and I can only chat so long before i get zzzzzzzzz. So he says yeah, i`ll try and change a couple of shifts, and I say great, "carpe diem" 🙂 Soooo, basically its either gonna happen, or its not.

He on the other hand replies to my messages within 5 minutes ALL THE TIME, and if he doesnt, he tells me why he hasnt!

yes, if you do it nicely he may respond well and decide to take the reigns and make plans with you to meet up, I wouldn't count on it though you don't want to get your hopes up.

Posted by littlelibra
He on the other hand replies to my messages within 5 minutes ALL THE TIME, and if he doesnt, he tells me why he hasnt!

time responding to messages and actually being interested enough to meet are two separate things for him and hes looking if hes on a dating site so be careful with your heart here.

Its hard not to get my hopes up, but neither will I be treated like and asshole. I say im being fair by giving him until Christmas, its the season of goodwill afterall. If he hasnt taken his chances by then, im done. Don want to start 2015 with a cloud over my head 🙂

Posted by littlelibra
Its hard not to get my hopes up, but neither will I be treated like and asshole. I say im being fair by giving him until Christmas, its the season of goodwill afterall. If he hasnt taken his chances by then, im done. Don want to start 2015 with a cloud over my head 🙂

That's way beyond very generous of you becareful of your energy investment you don't want to find yourself on an emotional hook that's one-sided.

Totally. I`ve been so honest and direct, I just wish other people could be the same. Damnit!

Posted by littlelibra
Well yeah, this guy is trying the whole "sexting" thing, and to be honest, its really fucking boring! I mean a bit of kinky distraction is fun, but if thats how narrow your conversation skills are then, it kind of sets the red flags a-waving 🙂 I think hes single, or at least he has an active profile on a dating website. Prick!

Uh, this tells you everything you need to know.

He has no intention of seriously dating you. When a guy starts whipping out sex talk before you've even been on any amount of dates, it tells you exactly where he stands with you. ESPECIALLY knowing he has an active dating profile.

You're an option to him. You shouldn't waste any more time wondering where you really stand with the guy.

Its not wholly sexual, although there are sexual references. I asked him if thats all it was to him and he said no. My friends say im to quick to kick men to the side, so i was looking for some "external" ideas, and i appreciate the input!

I agree with Rockyroadicecream, unfortunately being "honest and direct" is not always a mutual mindset with everyone you meet, this is what I find myself telling more and more of my girlfriends lately who fight to be "honest and direct" regardless of how they are being treated.

Posted by littlelibra
Its not wholly sexual, although there are sexual references. I asked him if thats all it was to him and he said no. My friends say im to quick to kick men to the side, so i was looking for some "external" ideas, and i appreciate the input!

Best to pay attention to actions, not words regardless of what your friends tell you.

And i would like to say (honestly) that i dont mind it starting out purely sexual and progressing from there, if thats how it turns out. But still, you have to meet first, thats where we`re at.

Posted by littlelibra
And i would like to say (honestly) that i dont mind it starting out purely sexual and progressing from there, if thats how it turns out. But still, you have to meet first, thats where we`re at.

no, that's where you are at. You don't know if he wants to meet with you or not or you would have already.

I know!! But he has only a handful of days to get his arse moving!

yes good luck... don't listen to your friends advice, go by how you are being treated and his actions and make sure to report back! I hope it works out for you!

I will definitely report back, all the scandal that may or may not take place 🙂

Posted by littlelibra
Its not wholly sexual, although there are sexual references. I asked him if thats all it was to him and he said no.

Eh oh el.

"This is just sex to you, isn't it?"

"Yes, that's exactly what it is. Please forgive me. I will no longer bother you with my stupid bullshit any longer. Apologies, m'lady." SAID NO GUY EVER.

I understand wanting to make sure you aren't being too quick to drop the dude, but you can't blatantly ignore the obvious because of that.

Posted by littlelibra
And i would like to say (honestly) that i dont mind it starting out purely sexual and progressing from there, if thats how it turns out. But still, you have to meet first, thats where we`re at.

click to expand

Based on the situation, I wouldn't expect it to "progress" beyond sex, dear. I think you're just desperately expecting this to work out because you don't necessarily have the upper hand in this situation.

As others have said, I agree with not listening to your friends. People all too often expect women to ignore things like this because a guy is gracing her with any sort of attention. For women- attention from someone means that you HAVE to reciprocate that interest solely based on the fact you have someone interested. Nevermind all the gut instincts telling you to run/there's something off.

You need to pay attention to actions. They always tell you everything that you need to know.

Posted by CocoKat
yes good luck... don't listen to your friends advice, go by how you are being treated and his actions and make sure to report back! I hope it works out for you!

+1

To be fair to myself, not even in the original post did i mention "relationship". My question was it common that Leo men communicated intensely with no actual motivation to "walk the talk". Apparently yes!! So I guess what i learned in this thread is that i need to stop talking (fast) or listening. Amen!

littlelibra, we all kiss a few toads before our prince shows up (or I should say text a few toads...lol!), just beware of texting, emails and even phone calls that never go anywhere, these are common themes these days so putting boundaries up for yourself and your time tactfully without becoming a cookiemonster should come easily to you being a libra.

This isn't sign specific. It's "lazy male with no idea of what he wants" specific.

You'll see similar scenarios across the board in every sign. People tend to try to pawn it off on sign specific tendencies to justify sticking around/tolerating it.

In short, there are a LOT of people out there who really have no business dating. They can't even act like proper adults let alone even engage in the pretense of a relationship.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
This isn't sign specific. It's "lazy male with no idea of what he wants" specific.

You'll see similar scenarios across the board in every sign. People tend to try to pawn it off on sign specific tendencies to justify sticking around/tolerating it.

In short, there are a LOT of people out there who really have no business dating. They can't even act like proper adults let alone even engage in the pretense of a relationship.

true, this is why its good to keep all non-in person contact in check so your not wasting energy on "textationship" and e-seduction...lol.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

But overall, the whole situation seems womp womp.

Womp womp! LOL!

Thanks for teaching me a new expression 🙂

OP,
sorry I didn't read through the whole thread so excuse me for asking a question that you maybe already answered: Can you tell me if this guy lives near you?

If yes, and he doesn't want to meet up, that could be a negative sign.

However, if he doesn't live close by and it would be difficult to hook up, then I think it's understandable.

Well after posting this thread last night, I got chatting with him again. After a while I made a point of saying, or I will just post the actual conversation (it will make more sense):

Me: it seems you just want to continue serial chat without any real action.

He: I thought you liked me 😢

Me: its not about liking you! Its about some people being all talk (you), and some people being all action (me), and it comes down to either something is going to happen or its not.

He: ok 😢

Me: I`m kind of trying to meet somebody. I love talking to you but it just seems like nothing is going to materialise. Im attracted to you and if you wanted to meet up then great because ive basically said it everyday for the last two weeks.

He: It just seems like Im not good enough because im at work and dont have time to meet when you`re free. Sounds like you`d rather meet someone that can be there whenever you want them. I bet you have loads of guys interested in you.

Me: Does it seem that way? Well thats really crap. Of course I dont think that way and I totally respect your work. Im not inerested in anyone else, thats why I deleted my profile.

He: I message you and give you as much time as I can now ive basically been told its not good enough.

Me: Im just trying to protect myself. Some people take chat at face value but I dont. If im spending time doing it, its because im interested. So many people hide behind profiles, im only trying to find out if something genuine is going on.

He: Well I have every intention of meeting you, im not just all chat (although i enjoy our chat too).


He had to go back to work. So it has been addressed but not solved. He lives about 40 minutes drive from me, so not super convenient, neither impossible. We are equal distance from the city centre where we could easily meet.

his answers don't make sense, almost like hes offended you're insinuating you should meet up, I would set a timeline around this. Seraph is a leo male, reread his advice. He is the man and he should be the one to make plans, hes just not. Sorry but I don't see anything coming out of this. You can hang in there just in case but I would reread the above posts. His actions are not in alignment with all his texts and the fact you bought into his bs worries me a bit. He is stringing you along and then having an bad attitude about it saying "I thought you liked me" in response to wanting to meet up (flipping the script), I would run.

Im not strung along. I can take it or leave it!! Theres been no emotional investment at all here.

Flustered?? It all started with a very general question, not some heartbreaking plea for help. Come on, i have nothing to do with it essentially, the guys mind is already made up from the start, knows the intention and where its eventually going to end up.

Posted by Jynja

Posted by CocoKat
his answers don't make sense, almost like hes offended you're insinuating you should meet up, I would set a timeline around this. Seraph is a leo male, reread his advice. He is the man and he should be the one to make plans, hes just not. Sorry but I don't see anything coming out of this. You can hang in there just in case but I would reread the above posts. His actions are not in alignment with all his texts and the fact you bought into his bs worries me a bit. He is stringing you along and then having an bad attitude about it saying "I thought you liked me" in response to wanting to meet up (flipping the script), I would run.

Wow.

Such bitterness for a 2 week old association of people you don't even know. Look at all the venom you are spewing, breaking the libra by casting the Leo through your jealous haze-filled eyes.

Yes, jealous.

You are the one to run from. Our boyz did good to listen to instinct and run from such negativity.

click to expand

Jynja, Jealous, Im sorry I don't understand if that's what you see from my trying to help a someone out, Im interested in "breaking the libra" go and read the Gemini thread where I talk about this happening to my libra friend (by a Gemini) before this one was even posted, I don't like to see mean people get away with this kind of behavior its rampant and heart breaking to me.

Posted by Jynja

Posted by seraph

Posted by littlelibra
To be fair to myself, not even in the original post did i mention "relationship". My question was it common that Leo men communicated intensely with no actual motivation to "walk the talk". Apparently yes!! So I guess what i learned in this thread is that i need to stop talking (fast) or listening. Amen!

Has he discussed his intentions with you? Have you discussed yours with him?

Has there actually been any direct discussion about meeting up?

Has he set a date? Has he made any promises about that (that he's now broken)?

And I'm quoting Seraph to get confirmation that this is the only post he has made in this thread so far. Where does he say the man needs to make the plans?

click to expand

"has he set a date" is making plans..

Posted by littlelibra

He: I thought you liked me 😢

He: ok 😢

He: It just seems like Im not good enough because im at work and dont have time to meet when you`re free. Sounds like you`d rather meet someone that can be there whenever you want them. I bet you have loads of guys interested in you.

He: I message you and give you as much time as I can now ive basically been told its not good enough.

He: Well I have every intention of meeting you, im not just all chat (although i enjoy our chat too).

Hmmm

Dramatic *and* defensive.

He just gives and gives... and it's NEVER ENOUGH FOR YOU!


😐





That red flag is a preview, courtesy of the Universe... just for you.

Posted by littlelibra
He had to go back to work. So it has been addressed but not solved. He lives about 40 minutes drive from me, so not super convenient, neither impossible. We are equal distance from the city centre where we could easily meet.

click to expand

If 40 minutes is excessive to him, then this isn't going to get

off the ground.

Someone who was serious would have been able to laugh at

the craziness of the situation and/or (at least) give a

positive response...


'Yeah... let's look at our schedules tonight, and

see when we can get together.'


Instead, he just reiterated his intention with nothing

concrete to go on-- I call bullshit.


Keep looking, littleleeb. 🙂

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by littlelibra

He: I thought you liked me 😢

He: ok 😢

He: It just seems like Im not good enough because im at work and dont have time to meet when you`re free. Sounds like you`d rather meet someone that can be there whenever you want them. I bet you have loads of guys interested in you.

He: I message you and give you as much time as I can now ive basically been told its not good enough.

He: Well I have every intention of meeting you, im not just all chat (although i enjoy our chat too).

Hmmm

Dramatic *and* defensive.

He just gives and gives... and it's NEVER ENOUGH FOR YOU!


😐





That red flag is a preview, courtesy of the Universe... just for you.

click to expand

AND manipulative.

Holy fuck, what the hell was that bullshit? I'm glad you showed the convo, OP. That gives a lot of really good insight to what kind of personality you're dealing with here.

What an egotistical drama whore. You want him to come forward and reassure you that he isn't being a child by stringing you along, and instead of that, he flips the tables, gets defensive, and almost manipulates the situation to make YOU feel bad for wanting some clarification and you end up reassuring him instead of getting any sort of real answer.

I HATE when guys do this shit. It makes me want to slam their heads into something because it's like omg who DOES that? Wtf is your malfunction that you have to turn into some tantrum throwing child about something someone is calling you out on? Why didn't your mother beat your ass more growing up??

A mature guy wouldn't have responded that way. Just sayin'. That whole convo made me wince, tbh. :/

Btw, how OLD is this guy?

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by littlelibra

He: I thought you liked me 😢

He: ok 😢

He: It just seems like Im not good enough because im at work and dont have time to meet when you`re free. Sounds like you`d rather meet someone that can be there whenever you want them. I bet you have loads of guys interested in you.

He: I message you and give you as much time as I can now ive basically been told its not good enough.

He: Well I have every intention of meeting you, im not just all chat (although i enjoy our chat too).

Hmmm

Dramatic *and* defensive.

He just gives and gives... and it's NEVER ENOUGH FOR YOU!


😐





That red flag is a preview, courtesy of the Universe... just for you.

AND manipulative.

Holy fuck, what the hell was that bullshit? I'm glad you showed the convo, OP. That gives a lot of really good insight to what kind of personality you're dealing with here.

What an egotistical drama whore. You want him to come forward and reassure you that he isn't being a child by stringing you along, and instead of that, he flips the tables, gets defensive, and almost manipulates the situation to make YOU feel bad for wanting some clarification and you end up reassuring him instead of getting any sort of real answer.

I HATE when guys do this shit. It makes me want to slam their heads into something because it's like omg who DOES that? Wtf is your malfunction that you have to turn into some tantrum throwing child about something someone is calling you out on? Why didn't your mother beat your ass more growing up??

A mature guy wouldn't have responded that way. Just sayin'. That whole convo made me wince, tbh. :/

click to expand

rockyroadicecream, I used to fall for that shit too, now I can spot it a mile away. Thankfully its been pointed out here, not sure everyone is even aware of the manipulation its difficult to spot if you're not used to seeing it, but you do know something "feels" way off. A lot of Guys get away with doing this shit and it pisses me off to no end! Its so disgusting.

What hate? You're not only insane but you're obviously not very bright either, go try and start your obvoious and stupid drama on someone else, you're a waste of my time.

Posted by Jynja

Posted by CocoKat
What hate? You're not only insane but you're obviously not very bright either, go try and start your obvoious and stupid drama on someone else, you're a waste of my time.

Lol
Truth hurts.

click to expand

No, yours does.

Posted by CocoKat

rockyroadicecream, I used to fall for that shit too, now I can spot it a mile away. Thankfully its been pointed out here, not sure everyone is even aware of the manipulation its difficult to spot if you're not used to seeing it, but you do know something "feels" way off. A lot of Guys get away with doing this shit and it pisses me off to no end! Its so disgusting.

It is. Sadly, it's behavior that I grew up around. My dad would have his moments with it (mostly defensive ego bit) and my brother does it all the time, especially to manipulate so he was the victim despite being in the wrong. It's why I hate it so much. It's such a stupid ass thing to do.

"Hey, this needs to be done right." (usually some half assed attempt of something that should have been done ages ago)

"I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT. I JUST WON'T DO IT! NOTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH."

...*facepalm*

Regardless, it's shitty behavior to exhibit in dating and I'm a bit perturbed that nobody seemed to pick up on the wtfery of it and ended up siding with his loser ass.

Just reading your posting made me mad....lol. I think it shows a bit of narcissistic personality disorder to shift the blame and with such ego. Its just yucky. I used to fall for that crap too , though I would distance myself because it would "feel" off, yucky. Im sorry for you you had to grow up with it. I don't know if this counts but my father (a pisces) puts his phone off for weeks at a time so nobody can get in touch with him and I get worried sick so Im calling him and calling him for weeks (hes older) and then he says "where you been, how come you haven't called me" and laughs it off, blame shifting. This last time I told him it was abusive as Ive been worried sick about him, he ran away and put his phone off again, I mustve stressed him out.

I think it's just a guy ego thing at times though. It's something my mom pointed out when she had to deal with it with my dad and my brother. She said my grandpa was the same way too and he's a Taurus.

You ruffle that ego and some just get outright butthurt and defensive and lash out like children. :/

And lol @ the Pisces behavior. Those guys just do shit to get reactions. I'm far too familiar with it. But I can spot it a mile away and just don't entertain that crap with the reactions that they want.