A Libra has me going crazy.

Hi al'l,

A quick intro of myself. I am a 29 year old capricorn woman and I have fallen in love for the first time in my life with a 33 year old Libra man. I met him in a pub in april this year and we exchanged numbers but I never responded to his calls untill July.
We dated as of July and were intimate for the first time in early August after he initiated it. We did have sex occasionally untill last month when he told me that we should stop having sex because he feels it would stand in the way of a beautiful friendship.(sex with him is mind blowing) He also tries to participate with my private activities and asked me to join him at the gym in which I replied no! (very stupid of me). (he's a boxer)I think he's sweet because we both thought I was pregnant but turns out I'm not so we are both relieved but he still worries about my health.

On top of that he also keeps mentioning that he does not want a relationship right now because of his bad experience with his ex of five year whom he now has a child with. He told me that if he never had a child with her he would have stopped all contact with her because she enrages him.

I do not pressure him into anything and I am used to him calling when it suits him best. But just last week I realised that I am deeply in love and I sometimes get the impression that he is sending me mixed signals. I am a capricorn so I have the tendency to hunt down what I want untill I get it or find challenge in resistance.
I love being around this man, he soothes me and sometimes I make up the stupidist reasons just so I can see him. I never knew that being in love could be this ridiculous and just so happens with an unbalanced star sign.

My question now is; should I leave this man alone or is there a chance that he is interested but struggling with himself at this moment or that he is really trying to get away from me?

Can someone help me here?

Thanks for any responses that may posted in adition to this post.

Sukutai

He wants to be your friend , be his friend .If you cant , just walk away .He meant what he said . Dont guess or let your bruised ego gets in the way .It made you lose your sight of true love that is all around you.
" I am a capricorn so I have the tendency to hunt down what I want untill I get it or find challenge in resistance."- The thrill of a challenge isnt love .You are in danger of becoming a controlling and possessive person .Even you get him in the end by playing mind games , he will hate you for that and vice versa .
Good luck and be strong 🙂

Hmmm, I would never subdue to mind games with someone else though. I'm better at playing mind games with myself really. But thank you for that advise I would try and let it go and just be his friend. I know it may sound funny but I have never felt this way about anyone in my life. I have been 1 one relationship prior to this for ten years and even when I met my ex and I was 17 at that time I never felt this way about him. The fact that I can be filled with butterflies that I forget to eat for a week. And yes I do admit I can have bad ego tendencies so I will have to settle with leaving him go.

Tnx

Guess you can call me an old fashionedand unexperienced 29 year old almost 30. "sigh" sad really

I think what happened is the pregnancy scared him and made him come to terms that the relationship wasn't serious enough to continue. Also sounds like he is still bitter about his ex (enrages him?) and he's not over it.

If he wants to be just friends, then do it. But from a female standpoint, once you've fallen for someone, we have a hard time just being friends with someone. It personally would be difficult for me to be friends with someone whom I had fallen for, been intimate with and knowing that he's now doing the intimacy thing with someone else.

Ultimately, it's up to you. Can you handle being just his friend if he holds the cards and says that's all he wants?

I know a cap-libra couple and they're together with kids. I'm not sure about the details of their relationship but from the outside it looks like the cap woman holds (wears!) the pants.

From what you stated he is being cautious and is enjoying a FWB situation for now. I don't think it is easy for libras in relationships even if it may seem so because of their delicate constitution and tendency to weigh scales that never balance.

It is a sad thing for someone to be kept together with someone else who constantly enrages or never provides peace. The way to get him is not to be pushy or call him so often... he's gotta take the initiative if he's interested.

You probably fell for his charm - I hope you won't get your heart broken. He said it loud and clear "beautiful friendship", not relationship.. the pub was not the best place to net a relationship, nor was sleeping with him before anything.

If you want more, you have to start out as a friend first.. and it's complicated because of his previous marriage - he's expecting the next relationship to be "trouble" like the ex, so understand that and don't rush or expect anything... it's the way beginning.

Ahhh yes, once again another Libran culprit... J/k... I know these wonderful guys too well... If he said friends he means it... Simple. They can't be hoaxed into anything more. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO MAKE HIM. Librans love all who they care for so at times it may seem he is "in love" with you, although he may care for you deeply and "love" you as a friend, you can't get that mixed up with him being "in love" with you.

You have fallen for him, so back away for awhile and get your emotions in check, otherwise you will get your feelings hurt... If you can check your emotions and come back to being "just friends" with him, then they can be the best friends in the world.

That's funny though,

Cause we both agreed on being friends ok fine. We had dinner at my place that night and spoke about not getting entwined but we had sex again that eveing after he initiated that he wanted to have sex with me. He slept over at my place that night, woke up in the morning and started stroking me again and like I could not resist I give in and we had sex that morning again. We had a lovely breakfast and then all of a sudden he had to run home so I just let him go.(he was suddenly in a hurry)
Told me later that week that he needed time to think things through for himself.

After that I didn't see him again but he called me every other day to check up on me and a week later he left for England to visit his family there. He returned (to the Netherlands)a week and a half later and in the week that he was not here I finally realised that I have fallen for this guy. I am now taking my distance and will not call him anymore nor do I want to see him for now. He knows what turns me on and everytime he sees he plays on that. I cannot bear the fact that the feelings are not mutual and may never be mutual. Why can't one ever choose who they fall in love with? This is not fear!

fair

Men separate sex from other emotions. He may have had sex with you but that's all it was to him.

Libra men are very capable of having casual sex without the attachment. Meaning they will cuddle after, stroke you, have breakfast, kiss you etc. It is just sex with someone they care for and there is something about you that he is attracted to. Because he is a libra, they think logically about everything especially relationships (future partner). If he doesn't see that the two of you would be an ideal item logically, then he won't be in a relationship with you. That doesn't mean he doesn't care for you or even love you on some level, just not "in love" with you. When they want you as a mate they clearly let you know, trust me I know. Married to one for 6 years (together 8) I later found out he told a friend the first time he met me, that I would be his wife some day. They also know if you are right for them early on (mostly). I have been in 2 other relationships with libras and 2 other envolvements. so 5 librans. I must be a glutten for punishment... LOL!!! They find me and I just haven't been able to resist until now. 🙂

Ah, this sounds so familiar. Sukutai, just be friends with him and see where that leads. NOT easy, I know; but otherwise you will most likely lose him if you don't take this approach.

Funny how the two of you had sexual intimacy and then he wants to be more platonic.

I don't think so, FD. The whole pregnancy thing probably scared him to death. And he's a GUY so it can be easy to not have feelings, even though being sexually intimate.

I feel your pain sukatai but it is what it is and the ONLY thing you can change and have control over is YOU. Not him. Not the situation. Just you. THAT is the lesson and a hard one to conquer. It's twisted for sure, but if he says he just wants to be friends everyone is right.......HE JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS. if you can come to terms of returning back to being friends then you get all the fun of being a Libran friend .....(less the sexual benefits of course). I'm sure it will be just as hard for him to be around you knowing you're seeing and being intimate with someone else too. For you both to heal you need to put distance between the hurt you feel and seeing him which only fuels that hurt and desire to want something you cannot have.

There is no anesthesia for this kind of pain. But the best kind of medicine is to go out and meet someone NEW!!! ((((((a million hugs))))))) and good luck!!

***Funny how the two of you had sexual intimacy and then he wants to be more platonic.***

He probably never wanted to be more than platonic. Doesn't seem like he ever mentioned it at all.

One more thing: Sometimes we have to let go of something or someone in order to proceed or progress. If you know that some form of sacrifice or self-sacrifice has to be made, then do it. You won't be able to move forward until you've done so.

sukatai check out the me and a libra thread in the libra section. Myself and a couple other Libras explained our experiences with capricorns and it might make some things about your relationship more clear.