Am confused and really dont know what to do

I met this libran guy two months back through common friends. He was after me from day one and i never realized it and after two weeks of texting and like getting to be friends he told my friend he likes me and before two of my close friends he said he likes me a lot and if i give him a chance and accept him ,we can see if this can work out. he shared about his past relationships which were failed and was quite honest. I was attracted to him but never knew he even likes me.We started seeing each other. We used to text a lot and meet up over weekends and hang out with my friends most of the weekends. The connect was so magicial and it was hard for him to keep away from me.He is very expressive even when eveyone is around us like hugging,kissing and just being around me. He used to be in touch even when we were busy with our works as both of us have a great but busy careers. He said he is not for casual dating or sex as he is an emotional person.
I took a month to open up with him and we ended up sleeping together after a month of this roller coaster ride and it seemed good to me. A few days after that as well we were talking and texting. He was like he likes me more than I do and i always maintained the I really like you line. A few things came up and yet we were able to sort it out and were talking and I did not feel the disconnect. He said he is sorry and I as well said am sorry and I could feel its fine. After the few mis-understandings we had over the week he still asked me over the weekend if we can meet and I cancelled my travel plans as i wanted to meet him and said yes. Its not happened before but he did not turn up. I asked him and he said he got stuck at the gym and was tired and he is sorry... I did not probe much it but I found it odd. Next day as well he did not text me and when I did he was like I did not respond to his text .... I felt something was amiss . I said I feel something is not right and if he has something on his mind he can share and said if he feels am asking too much I will just not ask him to meet me again and i like him and I want him to be happy in this as I am.
He said no no am a bit busy with a cousin moving out ..he just said that and after that I have not texted him and he has also not. Its been three days now. I am a Cancerian Woman and am confused and more surprised as to whats wrong with us. Is it over btw us and if so should he not have just told me. I really dont know and its eating my brains so much. I do not want to ask him as I feel everywhere I read about librans they say they just disappear if they not into you. I just dont know what to assume or presume. My past relationships have been not good and so its hard for me to trust someone. I feel scared to text him as he may just not respond. If he really liked me would he not have texted. Both of us are in our 30's
Can someone help me understand this...

Well there are plenty of other posts here (even as recently as in the past few days) where this very issue has been discussed. The bottom line is, you gave it up in the bedroom even though he was already giving you the "roller-coaster" ride up and down, so it would seem he got what he came for in the first place. Then came the excuses and the pulling away deal...all typical (and this is what I mean when I say check out the other threads). The "misunderstandings" is one of the excuses they like to use unfortunately as they don't like confrontation. Or you don't get one at all...and no, you will not get a text as he is avoiding you now. Another typical action when they don't want to bother with you anymore. This seems to be happening frequently around here with many of us who have dated a Libra. Lovely people when things are well, but they are prone to drop you at the dime of a hat from the pattern I am seeing. Then they wonder why there is so much negativity. Well, what do they expect when they act this way?

And I don't mean to come across as harsh but when you get treated like this (I have been treated like this, as have many others) it makes you somewhat resentful.

Posted by Sugarfoot

Posted by gemguyaz34
And I don't mean to come across as harsh but when you get treated like this (I have been treated like this, as have many others) it makes you somewhat resentful.

Not to be rude gemguy but maybe you can explain this to me.I'm confused. So many people get caught up over people they've dated for 1-3 months. They feel wronged when things don't go well. You seem to feel wronged because your ex broke up with you. Don't people have the right to decide they don't want to deal with someone anymore? Is it the fact that he didn't explain why he ended it, or just the fact that he ended it that upsets you? Or is it both?

1-3 months IMO is not that much time. It's not like your child rearing days are over. I've been broken up with over a five year relationship because of something I found trivial (not by a Libra). Still that was HIS prerogative to end things. 1-3 months is nothing. Par for the course when dating, I'd assume. Why do some people need to demonize the person who broke up with them?

click to expand

The unwillingness of an individual to at least be willing be willing to speak to you, after they string you along for that time has a lot to do with it. Especially when just a few days before everything was fine. Keep in mind with my situation they were a friend first for years I might add, so I felt that I at THE LEAST deserved that much. Yes people do have the right to decide but you don't just drop them after they give themselves to you. That is completely fucked up. Whether a Libra or not. The fact is lately, we continue to see this ridiculous pattern of behavior where it is the same over and over again. It's sad and what's even worse is that individual will probably go do it to someone else. She stated clearly that his past relationships did not work, he said this to her. Things were discussed what was expected from the get-go.. It was similar in my situation and yet, the shit was still pulled by the Libra! In the beginning I too laid out what I was looking for, what I wanted. So if you couldn't give me that, knowing who I was, then it never should have started to get serious. Period. Do you know why this hurts the way it does for those of us who have dealt with it? Because you feel like you aint worth a piece of dog shit thrown in the trash. There is no closure, even when things were fine (or so you thought) up until the very day you get dumped. That says to me you never meant anything you did or said, that I'm worthless to you and all you wanted from it was for your own jollies (likely the sexual aspect or the ego part).

And Sugar, I am sorry if I make you feel degraded, that is not my intention. I know you mean well and you are only one of the few who gives decent input around here. But the fact is, when I see a pattern developing, you better believe I am going to speak my mind to the person in trouble not to hold their breath, especially when I see the same pattern taking shape.

I met this libran guy two months back through common friends. He was after me from day one and i never realized it and after two weeks of texting and like getting to be friends he told my friend he likes me and before two of my close friends he said he likes me a lot and if i give him a chance and accept him ,we can see if this can work out. he shared about his past relationships which were failed and was quite honest. I was attracted to him but never knew he even likes me.We started seeing each other. We used to text a lot and meet up over weekends and hang out with my friends most of the weekends.

You fucked him to soon and it's over sweet cancer. I am sorry. 😢 IF a girl gives it up to me earlier than 6 months she will be a play thing.

Posted by Dyxpnetuser424
I met this libran guy two months back through common friends. He was after me from day one and i never realized it and after two weeks of texting and like getting to be friends he told my friend he likes me and before two of my close friends he said he likes me a lot and if i give him a chance and accept him ,we can see if this can work out. he shared about his past relationships which were failed and was quite honest. I was attracted to him but never knew he even likes me.We started seeing each other. We used to text a lot and meet up over weekends and hang out with my friends most of the weekends.

You fucked him to soon and it's over sweet cancer. I am sorry. 😢 IF a girl gives it up to me earlier than 6 months she will be a play thing.

See folks, this right here. Need I say more? I think it's quite evident without sugarcoating, the facts being what they are. Also the fact that they have had past failed relationships speaks volumes? Here is yet another red flag. Another is when they don't want to speak of past relationships or are very limited on what they are willing to tell you...hmm I can't imagine why.

Posted by Sugarfoot
Thanks Gemguy. The reason I asked you is because I truly just don't get this and I knew you'd be open enough to explain it to me. I don't feel degraded. I don't associate this behavior with myself or the sign of libra. I associate it with something that happens when you're dating. Not many are mature enough and considerate enough to let the person know straight up all the reasons why they don't want to be with them anymore. They'll say they're busy. They'll say it's not a good time in their life.. Basically bullshit excuses. Anything that saves them from the awkwardness of rejecting a person they know cares for them.

Especially if they're on this board asking for advice, they're looking for closure their ex has refused to give them. These stories are commonplace on every signs board.

I guess after the things I've gone thru, these experiences seem like small potatoes. I understand the feeling of worthlessness after having your heart broken. It just makes me feel bad to see a person holding onto someone who didn't care enough to give closure. My Cancer ex did that to me and it hurt me because I didn't see it coming and it had nothing to do with me so I was totally in the dark. I didn't get closure from him and an understanding of why he "disappeared" until a year later. But I didn't get caught up over him and allow myself to become bitter. I just realized he's not for me and I'm not for him. I don't WANT a person who will not treat me as a partner and communicate things with me choosing to shut me out instead.

And I'm not trying to shut you up Gemguy. I guess I just don't see how this is good for you. I'd like to see you (and others who are heartbroken) move forward pass this pain and be good again. I just need to realize that everyone has their own process and mine isn't the best or only way.

It isn't good for me. It brings out a nasty part of me. My Mr. Hyde if you will. It doesn't help that I am already predisposed to an anxiety issue. It's not as easy as a light switch being flicked off, especially given the connection that I thought there was, and it was strong, believe me -or so I thought. I have better days than others, but when I see a pattern emerging it just pisses me off even more. I appreciate your comments, I really do, but my opinion remains, regardless, until I am proven wrong. No amount of another Libra balancing things or trying to balance things for me is going to fix it or paint it as a pretty picture when I see it for what it is.

Hey thank you all for the sharing. I really feel much better now. I think overall sugarfoot everyone has the right to decide who they want to be or not. I agree to it but the fact that they just drop off without a word doesnt work well for the other person who is at the receiving end. In life we all need closure let it be a 1 month relationship or a lifelong committment so we can move on. Life is to be enjoyed and lived with the ones who love us and vice versa but when we meet such people that negativity seeps in which is not needed for me. Thanks Gemguy for your sharing.
I dont know if it is a Libran trait or not of dropping off without a word.Seen so many posts which say it is a libran trait but I now feel its to do with a person who is not able to deal with his own emotions who will do it. If its not working and its not upsetting you and you do not want to continue you will have the decency and the strength to say that to the other person I feel. This is the respect u give them for the small amount of time you spent with them. You run away or drop off cos its more easy for them.
Am gonna close this chapter of my life surely and hope and pray he is happy wherever and with whomever he wishes to.

Posted by Dyxpnetuser424
I met this libran guy two months back through common friends. He was after me from day one and i never realized it and after two weeks of texting and like getting to be friends he told my friend he likes me and before two of my close friends he said he likes me a lot and if i give him a chance and accept him ,we can see if this can work out. he shared about his past relationships which were failed and was quite honest. I was attracted to him but never knew he even likes me.We started seeing each other. We used to text a lot and meet up over weekends and hang out with my friends most of the weekends.

You fucked him to soon and it's over sweet cancer. I am sorry. 😢 IF a girl gives it up to me earlier than 6 months she will be a play thing.

SIX months?

Bullshit.

Posted by Dan10
Hey thank you all for the sharing. I really feel much better now. I think overall sugarfoot everyone has the right to decide who they want to be or not. I agree to it but the fact that they just drop off without a word doesnt work well for the other person who is at the receiving end. In life we all need closure let it be a 1 month relationship or a lifelong committment so we can move on. Life is to be enjoyed and lived with the ones who love us and vice versa but when we meet such people that negativity seeps in which is not needed for me. Thanks Gemguy for your sharing.
I dont know if it is a Libran trait or not of dropping off without a word.Seen so many posts which say it is a libran trait but I now feel its to do with a person who is not able to deal with his own emotions who will do it. If its not working and its not upsetting you and you do not want to continue you will have the decency and the strength to say that to the other person I feel. This is the respect u give them for the small amount of time you spent with them. You run away or drop off cos its more easy for them.
Am gonna close this chapter of my life surely and hope and pray he is happy wherever and with whomever he wishes to.

The good thing is you only invested a month, so give yourself time, and you will be over him. Imagine if you would have invested 6 or more months. I know it doesn't lessen the pain or confusion, but it will be a little easier to chalk it up as a lesson learn. However, as usual, I agree w/Sugarfoot. As hard as it may seems, you shouldn't let one bad experience taint your outlook. I've had personal relationships with other signs as well, but I looked at the person as an individual with bad behavior, not the entire group of people. I think we can all give horrible love stories about all signs, but what we be the point? I can guarantee you that anyone you meet, if not up front, there will be issues down the line. Anyway, I wish you the best, and maybe the clown will at least give you some type of closure.

Thank you Lib4Life 🙂

Posted by Dan10
Hey thank you all for the sharing. I really feel much better now. I think overall sugarfoot everyone has the right to decide who they want to be or not. I agree to it but the fact that they just drop off without a word doesnt work well for the other person who is at the receiving end. In life we all need closure let it be a 1 month relationship or a lifelong committment so we can move on. Life is to be enjoyed and lived with the ones who love us and vice versa but when we meet such people that negativity seeps in which is not needed for me. Thanks Gemguy for your sharing.
I dont know if it is a Libran trait or not of dropping off without a word.Seen so many posts which say it is a libran trait but I now feel its to do with a person who is not able to deal with his own emotions who will do it. If its not working and its not upsetting you and you do not want to continue you will have the decency and the strength to say that to the other person I feel. This is the respect u give them for the small amount of time you spent with them. You run away or drop off cos its more easy for them.
Am gonna close this chapter of my life surely and hope and pray he is happy wherever and with whomever he wishes to.

You are welcome Dan10, just wanted to put a bit of my own perspective out there. Seems I am not alone unfortunately, from what I gather in the other threads. Well we know it isn't just Libras who cut you off without warning, that's a given. Please don't let it be misunderstood, it just happens to be Libras pulling this shit a lot more often than others; Guys mainly. The unwillingness to come to the table is what gets at me I think the most. And exactly, it is the decency of factor of letting the other person know your thoughts. I am not going to share the things that were said between my Libra and I, but let's just say we were way too close for this to have ended the way it did. Others can sit here all they want and make P.C. and 'benefit of the doubt' statements all day, or make asshole statements like "oh you see what you wanted to see." Bull-fucking-shit. I see what is right in front of me whether it is me or someone else dealing with it. I don't see the world through rose colored glasses.

Posted by tiziani
Indirectly call me an asshole whenever but you weren't noticing all these traits just a few months ago. This is just the way it is. Again when months pass by you'll move onto to noticing a completely different pattern. Everyone does that here. Not the first and won't be the last time.

You're right I wasn't. I honestly still don't want to believe them, but it is what it is. That fact remains. There is nothing to argue about as you are not me. You are entitled to your opinion just as much as I will stand by mine. You're absolutely right, it won't be the last time, that's for sure.

I had actually myself given a closure as I never heard from him. Today all of a sudden I get a big lengthy text from the guy stating after that day he went and told his mum about me and that he wanted to marry me. He also shared about our families and how different we are. His mum refused to accept it and said it wont work and his father will never agree to it. His mum asked him to stay away from me as it will never work. They more wealthy than my family is what I presume. He felt he cannot hurt me so he shut me off so I assume he is a jerk and just move on with my life. He said he did this so I do not get hurt and he feels he does not deserve me at all. He said he is sharing it now as he feels i need to know the truth. He loved the time he spent with me and my friends but he is unlucky as he doesnt deserve something good.

I feel this is a closure for me. I read it but did not think I should reply to it. When hes closed it so better I respect his decision and move on