Disappearing Libra - please help this Gemini

Hi there,
I've read sooooo many posts on here and it sounds just like my Libra, but i thought i would ask for your help because i am to the point where i have had it.

Him:Libra, Me:Gemini. we met 4.5 years ago, fell madly in love right away. he always had these disappearing tendencies, even when we were in love and he was away, he would miss me sooo much but take forever to answer my emails, or not respond, or 1-2 sentences.
We broke up after being completely in love for 9 months- i broke his heart he said - he always threatens to move back home when we fight, so one time i said, fine! you move back! and he disappeared, i guess i was kind of bitchy too, but he loved me.

He reappeared but then disappeared again. and this went on for a while. i couldnt deal, so i ran away and started a new life in a new city.

2 years ago we went 2 weekends together while i was visiting home on business, like i never left, we held hands, watched movies in bed, etc. I was going to move back for work and when we parted i was sad but he said i would be back soon anyway. he disappeared when i came back.

We were suppose to meet 5 months ago, i was back for a wedding, he opened his heart to me, to say that he still dreams about me, i was his future etc, and what do we do? i came back but he started disappearing.

NOW. christmas eve he txt's me Merry Christmas, we chat for 2 days, he knew i would be in town, and we talked about meeting. I talked about some movie, and he said it's a date. It was suppose to be maybe wednesday. now, last 2 days, he has disappeared. He texted me once in 2 days, saying his cell was dead, and he was going to bed. I asked him. are we still on for tomorrow? nothing.... he always changes his mind. so i wrote "i guess you changed your mind" nothing.

I dont know anymore. The whole point of this trip was to see him and sort out my feelings, if i love him, what could we do if we still have feelings as it would be long distance. 5-6 months ago he said he loved me more than i would ever know. But he always kinda comes out and then disappears. He says he is empty, first it was poison, now just empty. I always fear i will say the wrong thing to piss him off. i dont want to live like that. I dont know what this power is he has over me. He is very charming, and he makes me feel so happy like no one else, he is super romantic, and perfect to me, except for his stubbornness, ego, disappearing acts... i dont know what to do. so hard to forge

RUN!! Sistah girl what you have on your hands is man that doesn't know what he wants, and you are in love. If I were you I would kick up my heels into high gear and run. He doesn't have it together, and a libra would never admit they don't have it together unless they are asked, and even then they paint it so pretty, you'd be thinking "That sound together to me" its because we are always planning. He probably plans on being with you, but he doesn't know if you are it for him. One minute he's sure, and those are the times when he comes around, then you probably do something (unconsciously) and it turns him off and he's off disappearing again. Typical libra, so its not your fault. But you have to leave him be. And when he comes back, because trust, he WILL be back. He will be all in your face, charming like he never left, and then he will disappear again because he is unsure about you. There's obviously something about you that he doesn't really like, but there is also something that keeps him coming back, but its not enough to make him stay. I wouldn't bank on him if I were you. I wouldn't dare let him back in when he comes back either, because you will be crushed when he leaves again, and he WILL. If a libra still talks to an ex, or someone they've already delt with an aren't pulling all the stops to be with them, then they like you, may even HAVE love for you, but there is something going on under the surface that they don't want to tell you, that makes them think they could probably do better. (Jerkish, I know, but it's the truth). OR, they may still something going on with someone else, and are still weighing the pro's and con's between the two. And it doesn't have to be another person, it can be their job, their money, or anything. It drives US nuts, so it will definitely drive you nuts. Plus a libra will never intentionally hurt your feelings, we're much to into "being liked by everyone" idea. It wears off if you push us or piss us off though. The thing about you though, he might think its something that you cant help though. Hope this helps you. Good LUCK! ??_

thanks so much for you advice.

he keeps reeling me back in. And i guess i'm just so full of hope, because when he disappears, and he reappears, he says all these things that make he feel like he still loves me.
I mean it was only 5-6 months ago he was talking about how we talked about having kids together, and it was just really emotional. It was the most he ever said, and it was because i asked him what he was thinking.

I feel like i can pin point the exact point in our texts when i turned him off. but its just a minute thing that i didnt think it would make him run and hide. I mean we talked about going to the movies, and i said we could share shoestring licorice like we did on our first dates ala Lady and the Tramp style , and he texted back some puppy noise. I said we can go now! and it took him like 40 mins to text back something unrelating, about a gift he give to this female friend and how she cried. and i was kinda pissed off at first, i was like in my head, what so you want her to come to the movie with us? i didnt get it. so i just said something that what he did was very sweet and thoughtful, and i would see him on Wednesday maybe. (instead of NOW). (Im a gemini, i want it NOW!!!)

so its hard. he told me he's off work til the 4th and to let him know when i was free. and i did. and i never heard from him.

he said 5-6 months ago that he made a decision to love someone 100% and he always said it feels like he failed. He's disappeared on me soooo many times i can barely keep count. I know i should be patient if i want him around but it's been soooooo long. This forum is so insightful, i always thought it was a "man cave" disappearance but so many of these traits relate to him as a libra. He said it takes a lot for him to admit he is still messed up, that he wishes he was the man i used to love too, and that outside his joker exterior he's sad inside... and he says this to me, and then disappears without figuring out what is left of us. I dont understand why. i'm right here. then in a few days i'll be gone and he knows this.

ugh i want to beat him with a bat.

part of me wants to write him something to tell him how i feel, part of me feels like i just leave it as it is.
i dont know what to do. obviously he knows how i feel about him. I've been letting him know all the time, when we were together, whenever i said i loved him he would respond with "really—" or when we broke up and i said i missed him, he would be like... ".... you do??" so some reason i feel like he never knows so i make it an effort to let him know how much he means to me, so he SHOULD know.

again it's another year without closure. which should ultimately be my closure. I just cant believe we were this close to seeing each other again and he disappears on me. I guess there is no way to get him back to communicate with me than to just ignore him? Is there anything i can say?

haha i couldnt wait for anyone'se advice. i just sent him a hello/goodbye email basically saying how i feel. well happy new year to me. it can only get better from here.

I don't feel I can offer advice, but I pass on the following observation I have made: I have never known a couple stay together in the longer term who have broken up at some earlier stage in the relationship. No doubt someone will jump in with an exception to this but on the whole, breakups do not foretell a long and happy life together. I can't help wondering whether there is someone out there who will love you the way you want to be loved. 4.5 years is a LONG time to be in an on-again off-again relationship. Sounds like lots of sexual chemistry but not much else (at least on his part).

Sorry if that is a bit negative but it's just how things look to me from the outside.

Your welcome. Glad I can help. Now listen closely, back up off him. HE..DOES??_NOT..KNOW??_WHAT..HE..WANTS!LOL. And for a woman, that is scary when in love. If you are a woman in love which you clearly are, the last thing you need is a man this is uncertain of how he feels about you and the relationship, you will always come up short and that goes for any man. Now for Libra men in particular, when they get like this the best thing you can do is give him space. Lots and lots of space. Do your best to take your feelings out of the picture and snatch your heart up off the table until he's ready to cherish it, because right now he's toying with it. If he's you then he probably doesn't realize he's doing it. If he's older, then he knows EXACTLY what he's doing, and he's using your affection for him against you. I know it hurts to hear that about someone you love, but it's the truth. Libra's are all in 100% once we are SURE you are THE one we want, a continent couldn't keep them from letting you know how much they care, and a libra would never admit it but they would spend every waking moment with the one they love if they thought it would put a smile on your face. There would be no disappearing acts especially if you've opening let us know how much you care and are in it for the long hall. And PLEASE don't be fooled by him acting innocent as if he does not know how you truly feel. Libra's LOVE compliments so him saying "oh you do?" when you tell him you love him, when it should be "I love you too" right off the bat, is that ego that loves to be stroked. I swear that libra's and leo's have this in common. Please also keep in mind that Libra's are the ultimate charmers of the zodiac ESPECIALLY the men, and they darn sure know when and EXACTLY how to use it. Be careful. Bottom line is he doesn't know what he wants, and you need to give him space to figure it out. If he ask why you acting distant, pretend to be busy. If he loves you he will fight for you. All men fight for what they want, no matter the sign. If he loves you, I mean truly loves you cant scare him off with your feelings and emotions, and especially not your love of being around him. My advice is to cool it.

LibraRose-You are saying based on your observation that a couple who break up in the beginning never have/or stand the chance to have a lasting long term relationship? Is that correct? Just putting it into my own words so I understand what you are saying. 🙂

Oh Lord.lol. You've already written him. Okay, spill it...what did you say to him?

hehe! well i couldnt wait! Gemini... very impatient!!!!!

Ok well, i sent him this: I want love by elton john. 3.5 years ago we got in a fight and he was house sitting and i went over and this song came on and he basically said something that this was kinda his song... so i was basically saying, remember that time, and i'll basically listen to this to try to understand what is going on with him.

(contrary, it was his birthday in oct... duh lol, and i had sent him "Your Song" by ellie goulding (which was kinda our song), saying i would be back and he basically said it would like it a lot of we met... so what the hell)

I said that i just want to be happy, and he wants to be happy too, and i came back trying to sort out what was to become of us, and im used to his disappearances but i cant keep doing this dance til im 40, him trying to figure out what he wants. he loves me he hates me etc. and that im either 100% in or 100% out. and i've been 100% in for a long time... that i was so excited for our date, people asked me if i was going to stay in my new city and i was like.... maaaybe we'll see how this date goes, that i was really excited and a fool to give up everything for someone a second time who had already disappeared on me the first time i moved myself back. that i have to grow up and stop being so hopeful. i wished him a happy new year, and that after 3 years of moving to a new city, it will finally be a new start for me, that i'm excited/scared/ and i wish him a new year too.

That's the jist of it.

When we were together he was in it 100% , he was great, romantic and did anything/everything for me so i was happy, at times i wasnt the most grateful, i can be kind of a brat but i guess there were parts of me he loved. It annoyed me though, cause when we got into fights he would say i did nothing for the relationship, but i cooked for him, packed lunch with love notes, i thought of things to do, i took care of him too, and he thought and still things i brought nothing. He obviously thinks very highly of himself. He said i was a nonsupportive gf, and he holds a lot of resentment towards me.

We are not and off, as in the last time i saw him was 2 years, well basically i email him randomly and a week later he will write back, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. I dont know why he never reaches out first since it sounds like he has a lot to say if i prod him. if he wants me, he knows

the weird thing. or not so weird since i have been reading the forums - is that it wasnt a break up. it was never like. we are broken up. we are not together. it was just... disappearance. it was never clean, we never talked about it. he just, got hurt and left. got back together, got hurt, left. repeat repeat til i couldnt stand it and moved to the other side of the country. lol.
oh. damn you libran males!!!!!!!!

oh to add. i am 28 and he is recently 30. soooo i guess he knows what he is doing. maaaaybe.

Yes. He is definitely unsure. You will be better off without him until he get a grip on what he wants. There's nothing wrong with what you side. You sort of broke the ice. I would probably drop contact until I could get a grip on my own emotions. Im trying this with my aries. Im afraid he might move on, but my faith in fate helps me to stick to my guns. If he loves me, and we are meant it doesn't matter if he dates 100 girls after me, he will still come back. At least that's what im hoping 😢 Im sorry to make this about my situation. Im trying to be strong. I can do this. Just like I know you can. These men are ALL crazy.

Posted by NikkiMse1978
LibraRose-You are saying based on your observation that a couple who break up in the beginning never have/or stand the chance to have a lasting long term relationship? Is that correct? Just putting it into my own words so I understand what you are saying. 🙂

Yes. In my experience relationships that strike problems early on continue to strike problems later. Eventually one person will have enough and want to move on. Great works of fiction play on the idea that the couple overcome adversity to discover the true love of their life, but in reality, people who generally get on and communicate well from the beginning are the ones who are still together and strong years later. There will be exceptions to this, but they are just that, exceptions.

Hi Alibra

Ah i had an aries man in the between time. actually it was the aries man who woo'ed me when i was heartbroken over this Libra, he was a really nice guy, but kinda crazy, insecure and kept thinking i was lying to him and created all these insane scenarios in his head. But he was a great guy, too bad he was crazy. I hope things work out with your aries. he was probably the nicest guy i ever met.

I want to be patient but seriously, I am from another city dude. like seriously get it together, i come back 3 times a year and we already missed the boat the last time i was back in July and now who knows when i will be back yet, it's like it doesnt even matter to him.

omg i am going to kill him, he just texted me asking me what i want to eat tomorrow. i am going to KILL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he just said, tomorrow is all yours, i am helping my roomie with his website, what do you want to eat.

i was this. is this before or after you read my sad ass email

he's like oh i havent read your email

i just wrote "sigh".

he said he left his phone at home.

and i just wrote "k"

and that, in real time, is what is going on right now.

im an emotional rollercoaster right now.

Thanks. And see there!! I told you, just cool it. State your claim and be cool. I would've made it seem as though I was too busy. Another thing I've learned is you have to learn to not be so accessible to the man you love, especially a libra or a sagg.lol, it works on my aries but not if he thinks im playing games. I have to really really make myself seem busy or he'll think im full of it and playing games. Sheesh, those aries. But anyway, back to you. If you must go, because im sure you want to see him. Go, look like a supermodel and smell like you took bath in your finest perfume. Everything must be on point front nails to feet, and be sweet and friendly, then cut the date short. Make up something really important that you have to do and leave him with a kiss on the cheek. The sashay away. That's right sway those hips. Because I assure you he's watching. Not too much like a hoochie, but enough for him to say, I wonder where she's headed in such a rush. This is good! Give him something to look forward to once he gets his act together. He's has enough samples, it time to make either buy the entr?e or leave the resturaunt. Libra men love a woman that know how to put her foot down, in a sweet womanly way. He hates rudeness, so never be rude, or cruel but don't let him walk all over you either.

i didnt even say if i was going!

he said he left his phone at home yesterday, i just said "'k" and that was the last i heard from him.

I want him to read that email first.

you know that sad ass email i wrote to him.

it's not fair. like, i dont hear from him for like 2.5 days after 2 days of continuous contact
day 1. oh my cell ran out of battery. day 2. NOTHING. now day 3. oh i left my phone at home.
seriously who is so irresponsible with their phone these days. i never leave phone without mine.

i mean the last email i wrote him last night was, "i guess you changed your mind" and he waits til like now, 3PM to respond back— we were suppose to be doing something today and he writes back at 3PM?

i know he wont chase me, (its not a libra thing right), and im not going to be OK with this after i just poured my heart out there. i mean maybe i am taking this too seriously, but man it's been so long, i cant be all light! and happy! and OK with everything.

so i dont know if i am going to hear from him anymore. He's going to think he put himself out there by saying we go out tomorrow, i mean i know he thinks i should hold my breath for these little gestures. I guess things will never change. Even when we were dating, there will be times i dont hear from him and im like flipping out and he shows up like nothing happened. If i dont change and he doesnt change it will be a cycle of this and me flipping out. I am flipping out way less, but i just want to know what is going on.

Who wants to bet that i wont hear from him again. SIGH!!!!

LOL. You WILL hear from him again. Maybe not right away, but you will. You should know that by now. Just remember to take your feelings out of the situation. But due to ya'll having such a long history I'd say back off completely until you get a grip on your feelings. The libra will still be there. A libra will always be willing to be friends, as long as you didn't cheat, lie, or hurt them intentionally. They will forgive, and it will be as if it never happen. But if you are rude, naggy, toooo emotional, a drama queen, lie, cheat, and try to hurt them, they will disappear faster than you can say gone. And they will be gone for good. They don't like anything negative, or pushy. They have to be free. When you think of a libra female or male, think air. Air is light, cool like a breeze, and remember the scales which represent peace and harmony, and above all fairness. If you feel he is being unfair, then mirror his actions. Dissapear on his butt. He wont realize it right off the bat, but when he does he will check himself like well I've done it to her, so maybe that's why she's behaving this way. It doesn't make it right, but he will understand. In his mind "Fair is Fair". So I understand your in love, and its frustrating and hard to pretend giving your history. So don't be afraid to take time away from the relationship to get YOURSELF together emotionally. Find a common denominator in the whole thing and leave and don't let him back until YOU have it together, and even then I would take it so slow he'd be trying to speed things up. You have to take the wheel. He's a libra and we take ages to make a simple decision let alone a serious one about which way a relationship should be headed so he'd gladly hand that part over to you. But he hates emotional drama it drains him completely and he will run, so that's why I say back up off him until you get grip. A REAL GRIP. I know its hard, but try it. And keep us posted 🙂

Hi Gemini , I am just catcing up to this thread , ALibra gives some great advise . This guy is not showing enough interest in you IMO . He seems distant, taking too long to look at your emails and respond back.It really sounds as thou he is not into you any longer ...Its a shame because Gemini & Libra is usually a great match ! I also recommend putting him on ice , if he loves you he will certianly come around - hopefully you will find someone better by then !

Hi Guys,
Yeeaaah im pretty sure i scared him away.
you're right. he never wants to deal with my emotional, or what has happened in the past.
but i keep wanting to bring it up because it never gets discussed.
he is pretty drama free, and it's not that i'm a drama queen, i just want to make sure he knows what is on the line.

He is soooooo stubborn i may not hear from him ever, because i'm always the one doing the contacting.

I always think i have my feelings sorted, then once i'm in close proximity to him i lose it again. I REALLY thought i had it sorted, and the fact that he was disappearing on me again, i lost it.

if he doesnt know im an emotional ball of emotion by now! what is the point!

Well he is running scared now.

I havent seen him in 2 years. i dont know how much longer i can wait!!!!

He said he wanted to see me too, but if my outpour of emotion has scared him away then he really didnt want to see me.

Yeaaaa, I'd pretty much leave him be. You will hear from again, don't worry. Im sure a couple of my ex's or incounter's prolly thought that about me, but I always pop back up. Weeks, Months, days and yes years down the line. Sadly to say, not always for their benefit though. That's why I say if I were you, when you sort things out this time, don't let him back in. He's had his chance and you need to accept it. Trust me if this libra wanted you, the way you want him to want you, he'd have you. You wouldn't have to have these long convos with him, or write heart felt email to ask him how he feels or let him know what he's loosing because when a libra man in full suite of what he wants, he will shower you with affection NON stop, there would be no disappearing, no other woman could compare to you. He may even look and think others are cute, but he'd picture your face, and how much he loves you and would probably send you a text while looking dead at the other girl, something like "I love you so much". You wouldn't have question marks or would even be writing this thread, because a libra in love is paradise, when they really love you. They will be almost perfect, your friend, you lover, your everything and they love to be it for you. They get happy making you happy. If your sad, there off somewhere trying to think of what they can do to turn you into your bubbly self. If this is not how he's treating you, im sorry but this libra is just not that into you. As I've stated before they are charmers to the core in every since of the word, and will say ANYTHING, to keep the peace, even make you feel like they are soooo in love. I've told other to watch this about my sign. They are trickey in this area, especially the men. The key is, you CANNOT believe everything a libra man tells you, you MUST go by his actions. If the two don't add up. RUN! He's up to something.

Hi Guys

I will cool it now.
I texted him one more text. a more light hearted one, basically joking around how i bet he regrets texting me now that im throwing all this stupid girl emotion on him. Then a lil more serious about how im scared to not have him in my life, but scared that this will be the rest of my life (us going back and forth and unsure of our emotions, so far its about 3+ years of this teeter tottering).

The thing is the stuff i say to him isnt anything i havent said to him before, and he usually does come back, but now we are like, so close that it's killing me. I mean usually i'm in a different time zone but now he is like, blocks away from me, somewhere in this city... im just so stressed out cause im only in town for 3 weeks and now 1 week has already passed by and i still havent seen him...

Alibra you are so right in how he was when we were together together. that was 4 years ago. tho 6 months ago he still talks about how he dreams of me and our future and how he believed in love and wishes he could still hold me and feel me. well damn it im RIGHT HERE. im RIGHT HERE.

i'm scared i ruined it, im im sooooo scared in general, it's hard to keep a lid on those insecurities when you dont know what the other person is thinking/feeling... i hope he understands that, but i have no control and that's the scary part. i want to believe things will work out but i also want to protect myself.... i dont want to lose the love of my life, but i dont want it to be futile at the same time... all this energy and love i've put out there to him... i hope he gets it....

so far he hasnt responded to anything at all.

hehe thanks guys!!!

I know, i would totally tell him to treetrunk off but that's basically how our relationship crumbled cause i got pissed at him and got mean at him and he totally ran away and nothing i could do or say could prove to him how much i love him...

anyway. since i've dug myself a hole with him anyway, i sent him one more email to explain myself and now i'm done. I called him and it ran like 10 times. I love him like crazy, but i read an old thread about an ole silly gemini who loved a libra like crazy and eventually she found someone else, im hoping that i can move on too but it has been so long and i still feel like this! Well out of my hands now, i'll keep you guys updated on if anything happens before the new years... i think he thinks we're kinda harry met sally, i was like, what! i'm not waiting 20 years to get together with you!
SIGH!!!!

I've been stalking this forum, now im out. To the OP, what alibra told u all is good advice. Leave him alone. Im an aqua so i dont have a problem with ignoring ppl. I also dealt with all that u mentioned with my libra ex, the best way to deal with them is to do exactly as they do. If he is silent, be too. My problem with them is that they cant seem to let go. I've been rude to my ex so he could leave me alone, he leaves for a while, but always returns. I love him, but im married now (aries guy), but he still wants what we once had. It took him 5yrs of no contact & me moving away for him to realise what i meant to him. We are friends now, but he keeps bringing up the getting back together topic. If i ignore his calls, he calls with different numbers. How do u get rid of a libra, if all fails? Like i said, i love him, im not gonna lie, but i dont want to ruin my marriage or get back to the on/off with him. I've changed numbers, done it all, but he still shadows me. How do u make them vanish for good?

Without having to take things the legal route, ofcoz. Lol. I dont want him to be in trouble with the law, just want him to do a houdini forever without legalities. It hurts to hear/see him. Anybody with a magic wand? Lol

lol watercup.. i totally relate!
i keep wanting mine to disappear too! throw them into a black hole.
They are weird arent they, why can't the make up their minds! i always think he's not going to respond to me, and that non-response would be my closure, but he keeps responding to me.
Well, we will see what happens, i laid it all out for him, it was funny, i was reading our old correspondence and i always go crazy when i dont hear from him, and he usually just kinda ignores it or just moves on from it, so he should know by now this is what i'm like.
But i asked him straight up, i said i want to know if there is something here and i want to know if you think there is something left. and all i can do is wait to hear from him.
I'm only in town for a little under 2 weeks and then i am gone... i told him, hey if you dont feel it just let me know.... but i've said that soooo many times and he just never says anything.

Just leave him alone, live your life, its his loss. There's nothing more annoying than having rollercoaster relationship. It confuses the hell out of u. Move back to your city, dont tell him & change numbers if possible. Libra men are full of shit. It also puzzles me why they do the things they do. If u dont parttake in their craziness then they start to hound you down only to start the same process all over again. Its tiring, whats up with that anyway? Make up your damn mind arsehole, u feel like saying. Leave him alone gem girl, no texts nothing. Its a myth that they dont chase, they chase like randy dogs!!

Oh there is way. It's called don't spare his feelings. You have to completely cross a libra for them to say that is it! Sort of like you have to do Taurus. You can do almost anything and apologize and they will most likely get over it and forgive. Personally as woman, I would've given up on you when you got married, or moved on period. Like my ex is Taurus im crazy about him, but he has a gf. So I may speak, and flirt lightly but that how I am. I'd never say or do anything to try an ruin his relationship with the girl. I respect other women, so I'd never bring up getting back together with him even if that's what I wanted, because it's just bold. Ole girl hasn't done anything to me for me to cross her like that. I don't even know her. Now the libra men, you have be down right mean and rude. I mean DO NOT spare his feelings at all. I would tell him like this "Look I love my husband, he's everything id ever want and need in a man. Your chance is gone. Im going to need you to get over it. I would never jepordize my marriage for you or anything other man, so you can step" Personally id be pissed off at the damn libra. He would get cussed out everytime he dials my number. Shoot. I know how I am over my boyfriends, let alone my husband. Anyone trying to cross my man is trying to cross me. Oh, I'd make that libra sorry he even memorized my number or wheareabouts. You could get rid of him, if you really wanted to. Problem is you both are still in love with your libra's and don't know what to do with those feelings. Understandable.

Personally i've called him every word in the book, i can be real mean, but the effects are short term- he is like saturn, he always returns. I want peace for me & for him, the only way to get that is through total absence. Im hurt, he is hurt, it makes sense to just leave instead of rubbing the wound. The problem is that i can be friends with him, he is not a bad human being, but he cant. I just wanted sum insight from other librans. He is all libra btw with scorp moon & leo mars.

Hi Gem,

WOW!! Craziness.

Ok deep breath....Libras. Will. Disappear. If you want to have a successful relationship with a Libra understand this. Give them space. Let the Leeb dude miss you. I used to text, call my Leeb all the time. Get all upset when he didn't respond. Was not sure about the relationship. Sent him emails and letters and to find out he did not read them etc. He disappeared for 3 months one time. 3 MONTHS!!!!! Oh and to make it sweet we live 4 hours away. GIIIIIIIIRRRRLLLLLL I have been there and done that and do you know how I got peace - I. Leave. Him. Alone. Yes.

No disrespect. Be independent and have a life. More than likely they will even if its mundane. If my Leeb works all day to him he is at work. Nothing exciting. So why text or call if he has nothing to say? What to say I love you? I should already know that and if I don't and he says its a problem. So they think logically. But you have to do you truly. It's a turn off to them. They feel like you do not trust them or have lack of faith in them. Leebs love to hear about your day and all of that. Do not be available to them. If you do not call/text its because they know you are living your life - BUT when they call/text you do answer in a respectable time. Sorry it is what it is. Call and text them as minimal as possible. Let the Leeb man chase you. They love it. Do not expect long texts either. They are simple short sweet and to the point. If you ask how is your day - expect this: Good. or Eh. Or Meh. Or Ok.

Leebs can be forgetful. My Leeb battery has died many times, he has lost his phone numerous times etc all the while I was calling and texting away and he didn't even have his phone. Yes I was pissed off as hell but logically what could they do? They didnt know they didnt have their phone.

I call or text him maybe once a day. He does all the work. AND if he stops its because he needs a moment. And I happily oblige. I tell him I love him - just once most likely a text. And if he needs SPACE SPACE, I will write a simple one page letter telling him how I am doing. Not asking questions. Not probing. NOPE. And when he is on the go, he is full steam ahead. Calls, texts the works. AND you know what he is happy and so am I.

Leebs they love to please they really do but be warned they procrastinate and can be forgetful. And it's not on purpose and it's to hurt you it is what they do at times. They have their flaws and to them you have yours.

Leebs mirror their partners. Be verrryyyyyy careful with this. I learned it. What you do - they do just in their way. And random texts like everything is All Good - be prepared it's coming and then some. As irritating as it is to you - it is perfectly normal to them. Say what you mean and do what you say because if you do not they will mirror they exact same thing. And when it gets to much they need to get balanced and this is when they disappear and will not appear unless they are secure that they are balanced. And when they are balanced they have worked out their kinks and issues and they are ready to move on. Doesn't matter what happened last week. They have worked it out and ready to move on and they will contact you randomly and if you respond in kind everything will be peachy if not - they will disappear and wont reappear until they are ready or sure.

Balance is Leebs security blanket. It is their comfort. If they do not feel balanced they do not feel secure - they will go off and not return until they do. If they feel they can support you more and can't - they will disappear. Being equal in a relationship is HUGE. It's like balance and if it is not there - neither are they. If a Leeb lost his job he wants to give you the world and knows he can't he will disappear until he can. My Leeb was not having a good year and he disappeared ALOT much to my frustration. When the money came in - so did he full on with gifts just a coming. Whatever I wanted or needed he provided. And it's nothing why - because it is what he supposed to. I am his women.

Leeb males are manly. They want to provide, be your all, your everything and if they can't be that or do that expect them to disappear. ANd they want a women. Yes, the kind, soft spoken tendoroni. But be strong, confident and independent. As women we can do too much, front and act like a man. This will be a HUGE problem. Leebs want to please the one they love sooooo bbbbadddd. And if you find that the Leeb you are with does not want to please you and is gimme gimme me me me - RUN RUN RUN.

Now - if you have a problem you have to be specific. Like S-P-E-C-F-I-C. You have to spell it out on what he did so he can fix it. That is how they do. If you are freaking out and getting "emotional" that translates it - wa wa won wa wan. That pissed them off. It turns them off. Because to them its a fight a confrontation and they do not want that. They do not like feeling bad. And besides they do not have a problem you do and you didn't tell them what it is. Oh sure you may asked alot of questions and analyzed things. You got pissed off and let them have it. But its not how they communicate. And if you want them to fix something - DO NOT SEND EMAILS OR LETTERS. They are not going to read them when you want them to if at all. It's like if you have a leak - are you going to send a leak via email or in a letter? No. To them its not logical in some ways.

So my BEST advice - take a good hard look at you first. See all the things in which you have done and look at the principles, the traits and look for similiar behavior from your BF and see how they match. Be honest. Do you want to be with him or dont you. No wishy washy. You are either in or out. Watch your emotions for they are not responsible for them you are. The I feel you dont love me or I feel this or that or you hurt me this and that wont work. Tell them straight up - like yo! .... no whining, complaining tears nope. Be honest with yourself and him. Let him chase you. Hope this helps and Good Luck!!

Jmr3979!!!!
sooo much good advice!

you are right about so many things!
i always thought he didnt follow through, i mean sometimes he does and it surprises me, but the way he disappears all the time and sometimes i cant get a hold of him when im not with him, drives me crazy.. when i am with him, its a whole other story.

you're right tho, he said when i talk about my insecurities it pisses him off, and when i tell him i dont know how much he likes me, it pisses him off. but his actions dont show what he says, if he likes me so much, why did it take him pretty much a week to want to see me after i came back into town.

yeah you're right too, whenever i get emotional and try to explain what im feeling he gets kinda pissed off and thinks i am blaming him. he has acknowledged he is stubborn, and it takes a lot for him to respond to me.

so yeah. im pretty confused cause sometime he is really open (well rarely but when he is, he says a lot), then he goes back to one word sentences. and it's up to me to still believe that he feels the same way? So i dont know if his feelings have changed or not so i get scared and I'm not sure if i am doing the right thing, or wasting my time.

I want to be with him. but i HAVE to know how he feels so i am not wishy washy. i think that's fair, tho to these crazy leebs that's probably unfair, its always my fault somehow... I mean, ok say i scared him off again, and it takes him another 3 months to get back to me, we have been at this for 3 years. shouldn't he just KNOW and stop wasting our time. not a spring chicken anymore.

Well the last email i sent him, that i HOPE he reads was to the point, it wasnt very crazy emotional, it was to the point. i did ask him to tell him what he wants, though i have asked him that question before and got no response.... SiGH. give me a straight up answer! !!!! drive me crazy.

Posted by geminijunebaby
Jmr3979!!!!
sooo much good advice!

you are right about so many things!
i always thought he didnt follow through, i mean sometimes he does and it surprises me, but the way he disappears all the time and sometimes i cant get a hold of him when im not with him, drives me crazy.. when i am with him, its a whole other story.

you're right tho, he said when i talk about my insecurities it pisses him off, and when i tell him i dont know how much he likes me, it pisses him off. but his actions dont show what he says, if he likes me so much, why did it take him pretty much a week to want to see me after i came back into town.

yeah you're right too, whenever i get emotional and try to explain what im feeling he gets kinda pissed off and thinks i am blaming him. he has acknowledged he is stubborn, and it takes a lot for him to respond to me.

so yeah. im pretty confused cause sometime he is really open (well rarely but when he is, he says a lot), then he goes back to one word sentences. and it's up to me to still believe that he feels the same way? So i dont know if his feelings have changed or not so i get scared and I'm not sure if i am doing the right thing, or wasting my time.

I want to be with him. but i HAVE to know how he feels so i am not wishy washy. i think that's fair, tho to these crazy leebs that's probably unfair, its always my fault somehow... I mean, ok say i scared him off again, and it takes him another 3 months to get back to me, we have been at this for 3 years. shouldn't he just KNOW and stop wasting our time. not a spring chicken anymore.

Well the last email i sent him, that i HOPE he reads was to the point, it wasnt very crazy emotional, it was to the point. i did ask him to tell him what he wants, though i have asked him that question before and got no response.... SiGH. give me a straight up answer! !!!! drive me crazy.

You have to learn how he operates. Until you do you will always be confused. Took me a looonnnnggg time to figure my Leeb out and when I finally realized how he operates it has been smooth. Yes you have a right to know the things but the way in which you want to know is NOT the way in which you will. That is not how Libra males are. If you are looking for constant reassurance, and text book romance it is not in his nature. (I'm just hypothesizing). If he says he loves you he expects that y

You have to learn how he operates. Until you do you will always be confused. Took me a looonnnnggg time to figure my Leeb out and when I finally realized how he operates it has been smooth. Yes you have a right to know the things but the way in which you want to know is NOT the way in which you will. That is not how Libra males are. If you are looking for constant reassurance, and text book romance it is not in his nature. (I'm just hypothesizing). If he says he loves you he expects that you believe him. If he is with you its because he wants to be with you. When he talks - LISTEN!!! He is being open and honest - ENJOY it. Stop fighting and let things flow. Now if you are unsure - then you need to back up and ask what do you want. Libras do not do things unless they have weighed all their options and thought it out which is why it takes so long. And IF they have not reached that point they do not communicate because they do not like being wrong.

Real talk the problem here is you accepting him for who he is and your need for clarification and reassurance from him. To him the issue is not him its you and he is pissed off and the more you piss him off the more he disappears. He will NOT be around someone who makes him feel bad. If you are showing this then he is just mirroring what you are doing and adjusting his scales accordingly. You push him away he goes away - he is not coming back until he is ready. If you do not know how he feels after 3 years - then maybe you shouldn't be with him.

you are SO right.
i bet he is pissed off right now.
i do need a lot of reassurance and clarification, but that's because its so hard to read him. when i try not to pressure him, and let him be, he totally disappears after pouring out his heart to me. i don't 100% trust him, there are things he says that seems like he's stretching the truth a lot.
I want to be happy. I just dont understand when he tells me how he feels and then he does nothing about it. You're right about him not wanting to be wrong tho, especially about us.

At the same time i want him to accept me too! i cant accept that he needs a lot of time out but he should also know that drives me crazy. I feel he hasnt moved on either, its so weird, i am pushing him away by letting him know how much i love him... like what is there to think about, to me it's like either you love me or you dont. why are you making me wait so long....

but you're right. after 3 years, i am not 100% sure in how he feels. part of me tells me he loves me but his actions dont reflect it, he tells me so much, but when the time comes there is inaction. if he loved me, i would know 100% .

Hey Guys!
I want to update you,
i just heard from my libra (lol and i had to come tell you guys)... it was like 2am on friday night and he asked me when i was leaving (because i am on vacation in my hometown, his current city, i have moved across the country)... anyway, i told him in like 4 days... and i said i was still up, if he wanted to meet and he said, maybe if he saw me he could sleep... anyway. we didn't end up meeting. he said he was bearded and gross ( i said i dont care! i just want him for his brain anyway) and he said that he believes that cause i'm the only one who shuts it down...

anyway. this is what it is so far...

i had sent him another email, i have been going thru the internet wracking my brain on what to do, like do i do nothing and let him make up his mind, or do i fight for him? So i ended up sending him an email saying how until he straight up tells me he doesnt love me, im going to assume he still loves me, he may think i am insane but he loves me and i am going to show him how much i want to be in his life, cause he means the world to me.

well we will see.

hi guys!
i also wanted to update you that we may be tentatively meeting up tomorrow... we'll see if that ever happens.