Hard to find that balance

My leeb and I have been seeing each other now for 4 months. Relationship is fairly good, we are a lot alike and although at times it can be unexciting we have lots of moments where we are perfectly in sync and I like that.

Both have been in long marriages previously and fear falling into that cycle...which is a struggle I've found. This last week he has been at my place the entire week. We both wanted to spend this time together even though we had come to a decision a couple of weeks ago that time apart is good and he should stay at his own place on Tues and Wed nights. A chance for him to catch up on his washing, pets, flatmate, house chores and sleep 🙂

I am adamant that I don't want a live in and would like to maintain separate living, he on the other hand would be happy to live here or marry me but respects how I feel. Right from the get go we discussed what we both wanted and I said, I want someone to love and love me, he is welcome to stay at mine 6 days out of 7 a week or vice versa but we should have our separate homes and our own spaces. This is the conclusion I have had since my marriage split and I have not, in my mind faltered but then I haven't really been in a relationship for the 6 years since.

He didn't want to fall in love or ever marry again...he has voiced that he wished he had never said that because he feels it now.

The trouble is, Tuesday came around and i wanted him to come over and when he asked if I needed a break last night I said no...and last night it felt like we had been together for 4 years not 4 months. Nothing much to say to each other we ate, slept and he went to work, mundane and boring...

I guess it gets to this stage and I feel unappreciated, I need the loving and attention that he so readily gives to me. And when he's too tired my moods change...

I wonder how compatible we are going to be in the future..already, he's happy to settle in and become the boring married couple and I'm good for that sometimes but I like a spark often and I'm talking more often than not!

How do you cope with the pushing and pulling in a relationship, is it that one always has to take the lead? It feels like a dictatorship at times!

I'm rambling now but it would be good to hear some opinions on how to find a balance in a new relationship.

That's rough. I remember getting to that point with my ex leo. I wondered "will this ever get exciting again? Has all of that passed?" But you gotta be careful because sometimes this when you start thing (fighting) because you're bored.
I think as long as you love the person you can get through those boring times. And remember it's not all up to him to spice up the relationship. If he's like you and respects you he will entertain your ideas for trying to spice things up. Why not suggest you guys try something new like a new hobby, or sexual rp. Doing something out of the ordinary, that's healthy, always helps put the spark back in

+ 1 on what happykit said. If staying in is boring then go out . Do you have mutual friends ? go on double dates , go see a rockabilly band, go to a pub go to the movies , go bowling , go see a burleque show ,get drunk . I find it hard to believe that two Libras can be boring together ! 😉 enjoy life before it's all over ! do something !

We don't really have mutual friends, his friends are single males and I have only met a few. More than that, he works 6 full days up at 5am am doesn't return til 7 pm so I guess a lot of the time he is whacked! I should suggest if he is to tired for loving then he best stay home and rest...now how to put that without offending lol

The alternative weekend, he has just last week started having his 2 children from Friday til Monday morning where I am taking them off to school that morning.

When we go out it is more with my family/friends. I have ample opportunity to go out and party with other friends, mostly my single friends but feel obliged to keep that in check now that I have a partner. We also are total opposites and our friends wouldn't really mix, heavy metallers and pop...if you get my drift.

One thing we do do is go to the local pub to shoot some pool and have a drink together, sometimes catching dinner.

Posted by sweethearts
We don't really have mutual friends, his friends are single males and I have only met a few. More than that, he works 6 full days up at 5am am doesn't return til 7 pm so I guess a lot of the time he is whacked! I should suggest if he is to tired for loving then he best stay home and rest...now how to put that without offending lol

The alternative weekend, he has just last week started having his 2 children from Friday til Monday morning where I am taking them off to school that morning.

When we go out it is more with my family/friends. I have ample opportunity to go out and party with other friends, mostly my single friends but feel obliged to keep that in check now that I have a partner. We also are total opposites and our friends wouldn't really mix, heavy metallers and pop...if you get my drift.

One thing we do do is go to the local pub to shoot some pool and have a drink together, sometimes catching dinner.

That's a toughie...at least when it comes to going out to a new place.

However, I think you should buy a cute maid outfit and do a little rp 😉 Or maybe a school girl. I'm sure he wouldn't mind administering spankings to a naughty school girl for not getting her hw in on time.

Just an idea ;P

it seems me and you seem to follow very similar patterns. I am also now with a libra guy and we also have agreed to keep our seperate houses, we also get on well and could spend all our time together but we also dont seem to be doing anything lol. we're too comfortable too quickly. Luckily I have a friend whos boyfriend gets on with mine so we now take it in turns each week to go for dinner at eachothers houses, but thats about as exciting as it gets! lol.

I like happykitsunes idea, I actually did this with my Libra and it went down very very well. Libra men in particular seem to love roleplay and we also now have a new "clothes shopping" activity 😉

The sex isn't a problem, never had better...I just get a little greedy and a night off is out of the question atm!

LS is more intone to how things are going....everything being too easy and so familiar and seemingly without effort..