annamo
@annamo
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 8 · Topics: 1
hi, i need ur help!!
Even then I have not been able to break the ice..as in whenver I call, its all about me..he starts off.."hi how r u?? so tell me wat do i do??sure I'l do this..kk byee"
Dont get me wrong I want like hell to talk 2 him about himself..but he is like duper---busy..(he is a banker so he is working from 9am to 11pm types..with the typical sales pressure thingie) So i feel ike I am wasting his time by talking casual stuff..so I jus answer his questions...which are obviously all about me..wat do I want to do professionaly..can he help me in that, and stuff..
Last I spoke to him 3 months back in April..when he was promoted..so I messaged him cograts..he called I didn't pik..2 days later I came to know he had a slight accident then I called him..n he said so —hmmm.I'm fine.u always manage to about everything happening in the office huh??
Was he being sarcastic??or was he thinking I am some creep —
Anyway so even (the last call) then it was al about me..so wher are u working..u need any help let me know..i??l refer u..but he didn't do anything..
Now I??ve come to know that he might jus be moving to some different city..n he jus has 2 months here??_??_..
I guess my insecurity even made me very rude to him at times..and he might just think that I am very selfish..sigh!!wen the only reason why I called him was to hear his voice!!
Pleasssssssssssssse help me??_I want him..I love him..n I want only him..
What do I do??How do I approach him..its for sure (touchwood!) that he finds me incredibly attractive n hot..as musch as he did when we first met..now how do I take it from here—?
Please I need ur help..from the way u guys have described men..he seems to be a Libran??_14october. I am a sagitarian. 25-november
Dont get me wrong I want like hell to talk 2 him about himself..but he is like duper---busy..(he is a banker so he is working from 9am to 11pm types..with the typical sales pressure thingie) So i feel ike I am wasting his time by talking casual stuff..so I jus answer his questions...which are obviously all about me..wat do I want to do professionaly..can he help me in that, and stuff..
Last I spoke to him 3 months back in April..when he was promoted..so I messaged him cograts..he called I didn't pik..2 days later I came to know he had a slight accident then I called him..n he said so —hmmm.I'm fine.u always manage to about everything happening in the office huh??
Was he being sarcastic??or was he thinking I am some creep —
Anyway so even (the last call) then it was al about me..so wher are u working..u need any help let me know..i??l refer u..but he didn't do anything..
Now I??ve come to know that he might jus be moving to some different city..n he jus has 2 months here??_??_..
I guess my insecurity even made me very rude to him at times..and he might just think that I am very selfish..sigh!!wen the only reason why I called him was to hear his voice!!
Pleasssssssssssssse help me??_I want him..I love him..n I want only him..
What do I do??How do I approach him..its for sure (touchwood!) that he finds me incredibly attractive n hot..as musch as he did when we first met..now how do I take it from here—?
Please I need ur help..from the way u guys have described men..he seems to be a Libran??_14october. I am a sagitarian. 25-november
ugh. you and your bullshit games. you don't love him. you love drama. leave him alone.
ofcourse i love him..love him truly..its just that I am scared of getting hurt..
Please tell me wat do I do??I am shit scared of losing him...please..
and yeah for the record this is my first attempt at a relationship..(havent had any till now..) so maybe I am not handling it well..please tell me how to go about it..do I call him up and try and talk him into a date very casualy??
Please tell me wat do I do??I am shit scared of losing him...please..
and yeah for the record this is my first attempt at a relationship..(havent had any till now..) so maybe I am not handling it well..please tell me how to go about it..do I call him up and try and talk him into a date very casualy??
I have a headache now from deciphering the missing letters, so forgive me if I've missed something about this situation. So much I want to say, but I'll keep it simple.
I agree with curious - you're playing games. Wee, fun huh? Until you get caught up in it, like you have. Now he might be moving away (OHNOES goes your brain), but since you've played this back and forth game with him for so long, you don't know how to change the patterns you set without freaking yourself out. Well the bad news is, you can't. You play games as some sort of self-protection, and if you stop those games, you panic. News flash, Sag - you are NOT in love with him. You barely know him! You haven't gone out with him, spent any time with him aside from the rare work run-ins and even rarer phone calls. But you DO have the hots for him, esp since he's probably moving away now and time is running out - tick tock.
That's typical of most of the Sag girls I know. Trust me, I love Sags and have several Sag friends, including my BFF of over 20 years. But you girls are fuckin' craaaaaaazy. Those little come-closer-so-I-can-pull-back games can be very attractive in the initial flirting stage (esp with Libra guys)... but if you never stop it and let him in, it eventually FAILS with a Libra guy (Libras want IN, they want the real thing and can't stand to be forever frozen out.) Sure, he's skittish at first and warming up to the flirting.. but it seems he's tried very hard to get to know you, the inner you, but you kept it hidden under your surface flirting and your not answering his calls and tendency to blow him off for awhile (paybacks for him being too busy to answer you sometimes? For not answering your occasional texts he may or may not have gotten?) Also, Libras are big time flirts.. he might JUST be flirting with you. You don't even know him well enough to know for sure if he's married, got a fiancee/gf, or even GAY! You have NO clue, all you know is the fun flirting in the few interactions you've had with him for two years. He MIGHT be attracted, but I GUARANTEE he doesn't think he's in love with you. And no, he's not going to share his troubles with you... first, he's a GUY. Second, it can take YEARS to get into that Libran inner circle of friendship... and he barely knows you! Christ, you're expecting a lot of a guy you hardly know, a guy who can't possibly know you because you're so guarded and keep your distance by casual flirting & work-talk & not much else. Sags *eyeroll*
I agree with curious - you're playing games. Wee, fun huh? Until you get caught up in it, like you have. Now he might be moving away (OHNOES goes your brain), but since you've played this back and forth game with him for so long, you don't know how to change the patterns you set without freaking yourself out. Well the bad news is, you can't. You play games as some sort of self-protection, and if you stop those games, you panic. News flash, Sag - you are NOT in love with him. You barely know him! You haven't gone out with him, spent any time with him aside from the rare work run-ins and even rarer phone calls. But you DO have the hots for him, esp since he's probably moving away now and time is running out - tick tock.
That's typical of most of the Sag girls I know. Trust me, I love Sags and have several Sag friends, including my BFF of over 20 years. But you girls are fuckin' craaaaaaazy. Those little come-closer-so-I-can-pull-back games can be very attractive in the initial flirting stage (esp with Libra guys)... but if you never stop it and let him in, it eventually FAILS with a Libra guy (Libras want IN, they want the real thing and can't stand to be forever frozen out.) Sure, he's skittish at first and warming up to the flirting.. but it seems he's tried very hard to get to know you, the inner you, but you kept it hidden under your surface flirting and your not answering his calls and tendency to blow him off for awhile (paybacks for him being too busy to answer you sometimes? For not answering your occasional texts he may or may not have gotten?) Also, Libras are big time flirts.. he might JUST be flirting with you. You don't even know him well enough to know for sure if he's married, got a fiancee/gf, or even GAY! You have NO clue, all you know is the fun flirting in the few interactions you've had with him for two years. He MIGHT be attracted, but I GUARANTEE he doesn't think he's in love with you. And no, he's not going to share his troubles with you... first, he's a GUY. Second, it can take YEARS to get into that Libran inner circle of friendship... and he barely knows you! Christ, you're expecting a lot of a guy you hardly know, a guy who can't possibly know you because you're so guarded and keep your distance by casual flirting & work-talk & not much else. Sags *eyeroll*
So I'm going to have to go against my usual advice of telling women to not chase and pursue guys, and that if a guy is interested in you, they will make it obvious - because you've already spent TWO YEARS mucking this one up with ONLY flirty games. Time to drop the games and take a big risk, Sag girl. No, I don't want you to blow his damn phone up, but I want you to start being REAL and HONEST. Just this ONE TIME, reach out to him WITHOUT any of your usual self-protecting games. If it FEELS scary and uncomfortable to you, GOOD - that means you're doing something new and different, because old and secure ain't working. Call him up.. if he doesn't answer, leave a simple voice message asking him to call you back. When you DO talk to him, swallow your gargantuan pride and TELL him that you FEEL incredibly nervous and scared putting yourself out there like this, but you find him attractive and intriguing and would like to get to know him better, what does he think? You need to find out if he's (still) interested in you, if he's just flirting, if he's even frickin' AVAILABLE and WANTING to date you.
And for pete's sake, do NOT tell him you're in love with him. First of all, you really aren't. Secondly, you're going to freak him right the fuck out. But DO give the man a chance to get to know you... UNLESS you find out he's already taken/unavailable. Even if it's a MISERABLE marriage or relationship, you need to back out gracefully and leave him alone. Yes, I know that it would make him even MORE attractive to you if he's some kind of "prize" to be "won" from some other woman.. but seriously, don't go there.
Good luck, even though you probably won't listen to my advice - and like a stubborn ass, will keep trying to use the same tactics that are failing you hardcore.
And for pete's sake, do NOT tell him you're in love with him. First of all, you really aren't. Secondly, you're going to freak him right the fuck out. But DO give the man a chance to get to know you... UNLESS you find out he's already taken/unavailable. Even if it's a MISERABLE marriage or relationship, you need to back out gracefully and leave him alone. Yes, I know that it would make him even MORE attractive to you if he's some kind of "prize" to be "won" from some other woman.. but seriously, don't go there.
Good luck, even though you probably won't listen to my advice - and like a stubborn ass, will keep trying to use the same tactics that are failing you hardcore.
Whether you recognize it as game playing or not, that's what you are doing. How do you think he would react to you now? He flirted with you and by your words "showered" you with attention and you ignored him... to the point of being rude you said. Libras are known to fear rejection, you made it clear to him that you were not interested, he accepted it and moved on. What do you want from him... do you expect him to swoon over a pretty face who ignored him forever?
On top of this, he is leaving town... why try to start something with him now?
Forget the timing of your decision, if you are going to pursue him you need to pursue him. No games, no on and off, you will need to be the aggressor. You made up his mind that there would be nothing between the two of you, you will have to be the one to change his mindset on this. Getting a Libra to change his mind... good luck.
For the love thing... you throw that word around way too casually. How can you love him if you don't even know him?
On top of this, he is leaving town... why try to start something with him now?
Forget the timing of your decision, if you are going to pursue him you need to pursue him. No games, no on and off, you will need to be the aggressor. You made up his mind that there would be nothing between the two of you, you will have to be the one to change his mindset on this. Getting a Libra to change his mind... good luck.
For the love thing... you throw that word around way too casually. How can you love him if you don't even know him?
Damn my slow typing, Nefer beat me in again! And as usual, she's right.
best think for a second. Do you really want him?
Then go fuckin get him.
Saggis.....not the most clear minded
Then go fuckin get him.
Saggis.....not the most clear minded
* its for sure (touchwood!) that he finds me incredibly attractive n hot.
Your problem is one that many young girls make. It takes more than that. It isn't your fault. I blame Cosmo.
That being said, being attractive is not the only end all be all. To really connect to a man, it takes more than looks. There has to be a natural rapport, a chemistry, a flow. As I am learning, there has to be an emotional honesty which leads to emotional intimacy and from there greater things can blossom.
I think you problem is a simple one. He isn't interested in you in that way. He is probably looking for (if he is not already with) someone who matches him on all levels. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, just that you and him are not a match.
He is a grown man. He knows how to ask someone he is interested in out. (If he is a grown man and doesn't, steer clear. lol) Plus, with him leaving, why would he want to start something now?
I think what you are experiencing is lust, longing, and regret, even the need for validation, but not love. There is nothing wrong with that, you just have to know what you are really dealing with. Love is an understanding that develops from a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual connection. It is that connection that we are all looking for at all levels.
I wish you the best of luck but I am pretty sure his less than lukewarm response means he isn't interested. I think if you pursue this, it will end in heartbreak, yours.
Your problem is one that many young girls make. It takes more than that. It isn't your fault. I blame Cosmo.
That being said, being attractive is not the only end all be all. To really connect to a man, it takes more than looks. There has to be a natural rapport, a chemistry, a flow. As I am learning, there has to be an emotional honesty which leads to emotional intimacy and from there greater things can blossom.
I think you problem is a simple one. He isn't interested in you in that way. He is probably looking for (if he is not already with) someone who matches him on all levels. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, just that you and him are not a match.
He is a grown man. He knows how to ask someone he is interested in out. (If he is a grown man and doesn't, steer clear. lol) Plus, with him leaving, why would he want to start something now?
I think what you are experiencing is lust, longing, and regret, even the need for validation, but not love. There is nothing wrong with that, you just have to know what you are really dealing with. Love is an understanding that develops from a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual connection. It is that connection that we are all looking for at all levels.
I wish you the best of luck but I am pretty sure his less than lukewarm response means he isn't interested. I think if you pursue this, it will end in heartbreak, yours.
just for the record, libras give what we want. he kissed your ass. you had the chance to kiss his back, and you didn't. we are more easily won over by attention and flattery than any other sign. it's our biggest blindspot. someone can be a total asshole, they can be out to rob us blind, and as long as they kiss our asses, we'll think they're just so nice and great. we like flattery laid on thick. and we like it when the people we give attention to enjoy it.
with libras, it's like you've got a running balance.
if you don't reciprocate, it doesn't just go away. you would have to make up for all the times you treated him like shit. you can't treat him like shit, then be nice to him once or suddenly start being nice after being a bitch for so long. he'll be suspicious. he'll see right through you. you should've been nicer in the first place. you fucked up.
learn your lesson and remember it in the future so you don't fuck up again with the next guy.
with libras, it's like you've got a running balance.
if you don't reciprocate, it doesn't just go away. you would have to make up for all the times you treated him like shit. you can't treat him like shit, then be nice to him once or suddenly start being nice after being a bitch for so long. he'll be suspicious. he'll see right through you. you should've been nicer in the first place. you fucked up.
learn your lesson and remember it in the future so you don't fuck up again with the next guy.
thankuu for all the responses n advice..
man!!please i know i srewed up big-time!!but please is there nothing i can do??
n wat u guys are saying about a typical sag girl being u know..flighty-minded n stuff..i was..about the previous guys in my life..u know who i liked n who liked me types..but i never felt this urge to get to know them..hence no relationship ever developed..but this time its different..
i jus didnt know how to go about it..n ended up srewing it..he is still very caring when we talk..so..wat the hell do I do..——?
lust, craving blah-blah were things i felt earlier..not for him..its smthng deeper..but its jus that those thngs dont come out in front of him..n i end up looking like a moron!
n i worked with him for 2 mnths..day in and day out..i kno..have seen him react and act around other pretty faces..so maybe he's jus not flirting around..plus he's known to be very sulky..a loner-kinda guy who hardly smiles..at his wrkplace..and this not my opinion him..females have said this about him..everybody at the office..is an extreme workaholic..n he laughs..he enjoys my company..so wat m saying is that he aint ur typical flirting around with everybody guy...
man!!please i know i srewed up big-time!!but please is there nothing i can do??
n wat u guys are saying about a typical sag girl being u know..flighty-minded n stuff..i was..about the previous guys in my life..u know who i liked n who liked me types..but i never felt this urge to get to know them..hence no relationship ever developed..but this time its different..
i jus didnt know how to go about it..n ended up srewing it..he is still very caring when we talk..so..wat the hell do I do..——?
lust, craving blah-blah were things i felt earlier..not for him..its smthng deeper..but its jus that those thngs dont come out in front of him..n i end up looking like a moron!
n i worked with him for 2 mnths..day in and day out..i kno..have seen him react and act around other pretty faces..so maybe he's jus not flirting around..plus he's known to be very sulky..a loner-kinda guy who hardly smiles..at his wrkplace..and this not my opinion him..females have said this about him..everybody at the office..is an extreme workaholic..n he laughs..he enjoys my company..so wat m saying is that he aint ur typical flirting around with everybody guy...
according to u Nefer, i should just approach him..
LibraSid, since u're only the libran male around here, tell me, would he thnk that i am coming on too strong..wat do I do??does it freak them out when a girl initiates it..or does he expect me to do it??
nefer, noo..the feelings i am stating now isnt an outcome of my hearing that he's going..i've been this strong since my internship ended..jus that i feel maybe i am disturbing him..and he is busy..or u know...gawwd i thik too much..
the urgency is now because now i have to act quickly..now that he is going away.
LibraSid, since u're only the libran male around here, tell me, would he thnk that i am coming on too strong..wat do I do??does it freak them out when a girl initiates it..or does he expect me to do it??
nefer, noo..the feelings i am stating now isnt an outcome of my hearing that he's going..i've been this strong since my internship ended..jus that i feel maybe i am disturbing him..and he is busy..or u know...gawwd i thik too much..
the urgency is now because now i have to act quickly..now that he is going away.
cause, when i messaged him consistently after coming back here, initially there was a response every-time..gradually it subsided...maybe he was just busy......i messaged him once every 2 weeks for 6-7 mnths!!!was i looking like a psycho then??damn maybe i think too much 😢
Yup, I'm not a Libra man, that much is obvious.. I'm just WITH one, and NOT admiring him from afar but too shit-scared to even approach him. Ask LibraSid if I have any grasp or understanding of Libras (he already agreed with me in this thread, mind you)... or the other Libras that come here, like valhalla and TOC and curious visitor.
You want blunt? FINE. What I SAID was YOU did this with your stupid flighty antics, the push-pull and borderline rudeness even though he tried so hard in the beginning. So suck it up and move on OR drop your childish back and forth games and approach him, openly and honestly even if it's freaky and scary, because you don't even know him! You don't even know if he's straight, single, and available - much less wanting to date you. And the ONLY way you'll ever know for sure is to find out. And the only way to find out is to ASK, because you've fucked this one up for two whole years and he's NOT going to just suddenly decide he wants you because you've shot him a few generic text messages after you acted like such a bitch the whole time. (Besides.. he's moving -- good luck convincing him to even start something he knows he can't finish. Logically, it's not smart for either of you.. and Libras tend to be very logical.) But if you don't find out, you'll forever be wondering, and I'm already sick of your whining. Put up or shut up, chica.
And you are NOT in love with him, Sag. Stop throwing that word around like it means nothing, FFS.
You want blunt? FINE. What I SAID was YOU did this with your stupid flighty antics, the push-pull and borderline rudeness even though he tried so hard in the beginning. So suck it up and move on OR drop your childish back and forth games and approach him, openly and honestly even if it's freaky and scary, because you don't even know him! You don't even know if he's straight, single, and available - much less wanting to date you. And the ONLY way you'll ever know for sure is to find out. And the only way to find out is to ASK, because you've fucked this one up for two whole years and he's NOT going to just suddenly decide he wants you because you've shot him a few generic text messages after you acted like such a bitch the whole time. (Besides.. he's moving -- good luck convincing him to even start something he knows he can't finish. Logically, it's not smart for either of you.. and Libras tend to be very logical.) But if you don't find out, you'll forever be wondering, and I'm already sick of your whining. Put up or shut up, chica.
And you are NOT in love with him, Sag. Stop throwing that word around like it means nothing, FFS.
Nefer is right again...
I may not have worded it well before but that is just what I was saying. Even if he was interested in the beginning, you shut him down. If he is now ignoring your messages it's because you pushed him to that point. Although you were never in a relationship with him, you were mean... we don't like that (who does though, right?). If you want to change the course you need to step up and do it, you chose the course it is on now...
Also, this part...
Posted by Nefer
Besides.. he's moving -- good luck convincing him to even start something he knows he can't finish. Logically, it's not smart for either of you.. and Libras tend to be very logical.
Yeah...
That is exactly the reason I am not out meeting people in my life. I am planning to move across the country in a few months and don't want to get close to anyone who I would have to leave. As much as some part of me wants to go out and meet a lot of people and see what happens... I know it wouldn't lead to anything except trouble so why bother stating it?
Posted by wsigaf
you do not care about him,
as much as you may think you do..
=> you mostly care about him feeding your sense of worth
you're trying to keep him close..
not "intimacy-close",
close enough to make sure he doesn't walk away..
==> you have to fight your fears or let him go..
Yeah. This.
Posted by TasteOfChaosPosted by wsigaf
me me me.. poor me.. me me me
we'll never run out of drama queens..
😕
Now who is being a lil bitch 😉
Seriously though... I couldnt read this, it made my eyes batty...
What I gathered from the responces is that she liked to play games...
BAD MOVE!!! Never play games with a Libra... We can see straight thru them, we will either play them back and beat you at your own game... or we will walk away, which sounds like what this dude did...
click to expand
Its true. Sun Sign Libras Aint Nuttin to fuck with. hahahaha
Seriousely though playing games with a libra is like a 4 year old trying to cheat at checkers with her mom.
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Summer over, my internship ended and I went back to my college in another city.
I returned last year..got a job in the same city, which is my homeplace. He was very happy..I told him about my placemnt.
We work in the same sector (not company) so I often have work at his office...n whenevr he sees me..he is the one to walk up to me talk..in fact he is his normal intense self..he stares only at me...he talks only about me..follows me around..
As soon as I came back I accidently sent him a message meant for one of my girlfrnds..girl-talk so obviously it was embarassing..
I needed to speak to him about smthng so i called him up after that..n he was veery amused at my message, n I was obviously like embarassed so he said never mind..its kk..atleast like this u atleast messaged me smthng..but he said it so casualy that I thougt he quite did not mean it..anyway..after that I constantly messaged him forwards or simple 'hi-how-are-u?' stuff. But he never made an effort to keep in touch on his own..so I broke the chain..my last message to him was about a professional advice that I wanted from him..but he did not respond. So after that when I went to his office and he asked about my current job..I told him..yeahh I wanted to ask about that..thats why i messaged u..n he answered slightly apologeticatly —never mind its ok..wher else r u looking for job..which company..n stuff.
After that I did not message him at all..no communication frm my side..rang him up once in Jan this year..but he did nt pik up..later I came 2 knw he is up fr promotion so he was working like crazy for that at that time..
What I am sayin is that he does not discuss his problems with me..I want to talk to him as a frend..but he is always busy in presenting this kind of an image that he is in control over everything..n wat is that I want..n how can he help me in that...
We have been in touch over the phone,since the past 2 years we talk once in every 2-3 mnths..
...contd...