Hopelessly addicted.

Before reading this please don't judge.

I really dont know where to start since a lot between the libra and I has happened over the past 3 years. At the beginning I was 14 turning 15 and he had just turned 19. I know this is crazy but at the begging we communicated over text for about maybe a half of the year before we even met. Even though it was over text I did catch hard feelings for him. I wish I could put every detail of his and our relationship but I cant. Anyways I would become so emotional with him which he didnt like and I would push him away. He would tell me one day we would be together and all that and me being young I believed that. Fast forwarding, we finally got a chance to see eachother it was the best night if my life. He picked me up and kissed me this was about 2 years ago. I always knew he cared for me because I could feel it when we were together. I just know he always felt a certain way because of the age difference. Lol he even walked in the rain to see me one time.There was a time when I asked him if he would be okay if I tried dating other people and he said yea. But when I did he became jealous and after me and the guy didnt work out he resented me a lil but I only decided to date other people because I thought he didnt want me. That was about 2 years ago. We play the back and forth games I tell him I'm done I come back or he pulls me back in. During the summer he contacted me. Like always I jumped right back in. This time things went to another level and we did things together (i'm a virgin btw) I knew things just needed to stop because I was gonna be under his spell forever. I saw him again and things happened (anal) I was 16. Then we got in another argument and I decided that I was not going to go back to him. It has been a good 6 months, I deactivated my facebook for about 4 months and I just started going back on. He messaged me asking where I had been said he missed me, told me he was moving and hoped to see me one blue moon. (Hes actually moving even closer to me) and I was doing so good in moving on and forgetting about him and if we could ever be something. We talked on a friendly leval and I told him we would figure something out we always do but I told him not saying like its gonna be like before. He said of course. What do you think I should do? I'm going to be 18 in december, I can't beleive this has been going on for so long. Should I see if we can be friends? Or leave it?

As requested, I waited til after reading it to judge you 😛


I agree with the other two but wanted to comment on something specific you said.

Posted by BadSag12
I always knew he cared for me because I could feel it when we were together.

Those are your feelings. Just because you feel a certain way doesn't make it true. Some people 'feel' god is real and some don't, they can't both be right. People believed the world was flat for thousands of years, etc, etc.
The point is, just because you feel something doesn't mean it is correct and it doesn't mean anyone else feels it the same way either. Hell, that's where heartbreak comes from... two people feeling differently about the same situation.

Yea I know, but I was just wondering why he always comes back when he can have 45343 other girls. I'm not going to let him back in because I'm so scared of what the outcome might be.

Now spin that question around...

Why does he always leave and for what periods of time. A man in love is not going to leave voluntarily!

I know you said dont judge but I cant get past the whole 14 and 19 issue!! Over here we call that grooming! No wonder why your hooked he's been playing with you since you were a little girl! I have no issues with age gaps when I was 17 I was with a 23 year old but I wasnt naive and I wasnt a virgin. If I were you I would get far away from the guy and move on. What you are feeling is infactuation (school girl crush).

Im not judging you I am judging him.

Ik ikk its hard core infatuation, well he would usually leave when I got emotional and when I got emotional I usually would blow up and call him names. He said he wasnt gonna put up with it anymore but he always did. Hes made me cry so many times and I have told him to leave me alone because ik it was for my own good. Thats why I took a break and went m.i.a to get myself together because I was soooooo drpressed without him and it was not healthy. I am stronger now and not so quick to jump towards him. But I still have a weak spot for him. This had been the longest we have not communicated but mostly because I think he couldnt contact me since I deacivated my fb for 4 months and he changed his number. I have no urge to message him because i really dont know what to say or do.

Yea thats why I'm not messaging him. Either I let him in or he lets me in. If it was like the other times I would have asked for his number or continued to talk to him but I haven't.

I feel like we could be just friends but we never made it an option because of the strong connection. I'm hoping this time we can. Should I bring it up to him?

SWEETHEARTS HIT IT RIGHT ON THE NOSE! You too LibraSid. Listen to them. You are soo gosh darn young, i WISH i could be your age again...well maybe 21 at least. lol. Yeah, i liked 21. However, at your age you should be partying and doing your thang, and HIS head should be spinning. You're going to be just fine girl, just let it burn. This is only your first heartbreak, or soon to be your first heartbreak if you dont walk away while you still can.

He comes back because you let him. He comes back to take advantage, and when dealing with a guy your constantly going back and forth with, at some point you should be able to notice the signs that will tell you if the time apart has changed his ways. If you see signs of what made you leave in the first place, dip! Fast! Cuz homie hasn't changed a bit. Generally at your age they got maybe 3 chances tops with me. After that, i'm ghost. I loose interest. Aint nobody got time for that, especially not at 18.

Find a better addiction. Like M&Ms.

Lol I hate m&m's but ok I will leave if he acts up but how do you think I should go about talking to him? I font want him to think I want anything more right now.

dont*

I appreciate the compliment lol, and no big head over here.

Why would you want to be friends with someone who has treated you this way? I wouldnt want to be friends with anyone who comes and goes at their convenience whether we had been romantically involved or not. Arnt you worth more then that? much better of having those sort of people playing no part in your life.

Tiziani may think you sound older but to me you sound your age and are acting your age. Thats not an insult by the way. I remember being young and having infactuations and wish someone had slapped some sense into me back then would have saved me years of bullshit 🙂

The guy is 5 years older then her so he's old enough to know better. And as an adult he should know not to be messing around with 14 year olds!

Why do you need tonstay friends with someone who has used and abused you? Surround yourself with good positive people and you will have a good positive life. I have about 2 real friends (the rest have been cut off for various valid reasons) and I would rather have them then 30 fake users.

Tiz you remind me of how my Libra used to be always looking for.the good in people! He has severed some long poisonous friendships thanks to.me and invests his time now only in people who have his best interests at heart.

This guy has done nothig positive for her. He may grow up and turn into a nice decent guy who no longer preys on little girls.but right now he's a dick who is messing with this girls emotions and she needs.to cut him oit of her life.

If someone hurts me/screws me over/breaks my trust I do not allow them to be in a position to do that to me EVER again. If someone does something to you once then "shame on them" If they do it to you twice then "shame on you" If they do it to you three times then fair play to them as they may aswel as you only ever get treated as badly as you allow yourself to be treated.

In my younger years I have been in the "shame on me" position a few times and I look back and laugh at how stupid I was. A LOT has happened to me in my life the person I am now is a completely different person to how I was a few years ago (If your ever bored and read any of my poats from years ago you will see that they make me cringe!!) I learnt from my mistakes and like to use them to prevent other people going through the same shit as me. I studied Psychology and now grouping that with Astrology I can suss most people well enough so that I dont even end up.in the "shame on them" position.

You can give people second chances on the little things but any one who tries to mess with my head/back stab me/break the trust is instant dismissal for me. Since I took this approach in life I have never been happier 🙂

Also in this particular situation this started when she was 14!! I could never encourage anyone to be friends with a peodophile. An adult has no place being involved romatically with a 14 year old. If that was my daughter and I found out I would make sure I reported him and he was locked up where he cant be a threat.

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by libra sun
Also in this particular situation this started when she was 14!! I could never encourage anyone to be friends with a peodophile. An adult has no place being involved romatically with a 14 year old. If that was my daughter and I found out I would make sure I reported him and he was locked up where he cant be a threat.

I was talking to someone recently about this, medical testing seems fair, right?

click to expand

After full castation of course 🙂

I already told the OP that it was him I was judging as he is the adult so he is in the wrong. He has played her and messed with her head. The guy was 19 . Also as I said in my first post age gaps arnt an issue unless the peron is a child which the OP was. Laws are there to protect people. Dont care how grown up someone "feels" he took advantage of a young girl! At 19 I knew right and wrong and if he doesnt then maybe he has a learning disability. There is no defence for an adult knowingly grooming a child.

Ik it was a huge age difference at the time but as you get older tbe more it doesn't even matter anymore. It was my mistake at that age to even let someone into my life who treated me that way but i also had insecurites/low confidence and a whole lot of other things going in in my life. I'm older now and I dont need him to depend on to feel worthy or loved. Like I said I do bave a weak spot for him but that sounds normal since I have been dealing with him for this long. I dont want any of this to be for mothing and I would like us to ne friends, he is n't a bad person hea actually a nice guy if you arn't sexually or physically involved with him. I do admit I have been stupid for the way he treats me but I have confidence and respect for myself for that to not happen. If we start to become friend do I think they're will be arrraction? Yes. But like you said if this is infatuation it wont matter sfter a while and maybe He and I wont see eachother loke that anymore and get passed this. Even if he does try to charm me and tell me things that are to good to be true I won't let that takeover my mind and focus in things that are more important for my future.

Sorry for the typos didn't read it before I posted it.

Thank you for sharing your experiences in your life, I do see this as a lesson learned and I know I deserve nothing but the best. I don't think I'm going to want to see him anytime soon but will check on him once in a while. I'm still trying to figure out myself and become a better me and I dont want anyone to get in the way of that. I'll take your advice an look up the book it sounds interesting. Thanks everyone for they're opinions and support and I will be back to update if anything happens! I'm going to try to build a healthy foundation between him and I. We are both two different people now than we were before and a fresh slate would be good.

OP, do what you see fit in this situation, its your life and if your choice is a mistake, then its yours to make... who cares? All these people here have their so called experiences due to making mistakes in the past so dont base your actions strictly on other people's experiences. You have your own life to live, learn from and not every choice you make is gonna be perfect but you will learn in the process, so whatever... Advice is good, but it doesnt mean you should follow it if its against your desires/wishes, allow yourself room for error so you can grow as a person and be able to share (not force-feed) your own experiences with future 18 year olds. Its your journey and what we think/say about it should be like a schizophrenic voice in your head, but not a gps to your destiny so to speak. Love is a complex thing, there are no gurus... do YOU and get him out of your system YOUR way... avoidance is not a cure btw. Good luck.