Is he into me or will we always stay friends?

Hello Everyone,

I'm in need of advice from Libra experts as this is my 1st time "dating" a Libra. Overview: He and I were "secret" best friends in highschool. Talked for hours on the phone after school and eventually months before prom we dated briefly but young and stupid it ended after Prom. It was the innocent! Sadly, I went to college he stayed behind another year and we lost touch. Well after 18 years he found me on facebook, we have been talking everyday since the end of March till now.
He was in a 12-15 year relationship in which his ex left him/moved out (w/no real explanation he says) and he reached out for old friends that meant someting to him he says. I"m a Scorpio btw! Just like highschool we talk for hours and hours on end, not to mention now that we are adults the sexual chemistry is fantastic.
He did not initially contact me to start dating me, but for friendship. However it has grew beyond friendship. It has only been 5-6 months since he has been broken up w/his ex. Is what is happening between us way to fast for him? I know he loved her and it turned his world around...in my opinion it seems like it was the best thing for him. He quit smoking and doing other bad habits have stopped. BUT

One week he is charming, funny, sweet and verbal affectionate. We will get together in which i'm driving to his place and have fantastic time togther. then the next day or week he goes back to treating me like a friend again!Not asking to get together, not wanting to make plans.. WHY? I get that he still has financial ties to the ex that is being worked out, he says he has emotionally moved on from the ex. So why this inconsistent behavior? Is he just not that into me?

He said a couple weeks ago he is 50% in, and in the same chapter as me but not on the same page. He has to deal with things 1st. I get and understand all of that. But actions speaks louder than words and his inconsistency w/his affection towrards me is kinda driving me in states of confusion. I don't want to lose him again. help!

Wtf is your problem that you're diving into something with someone who just got out of a decade + long relationship JUST 6 months ago? Nobody would be ready for another relationship, whether they think so or not.

Why aren't YOU using common sense and keeping your emotional distance? Are you desperate for a relationship? Fawning over what happened when you were practically children?

Come on now, use some common sense. This guy isn't clearly ready for shit and you're being irrational.

"Losing" him? Please. You never had him to begin with. He's still on an emotional rollercoaster. Avoid/keep friend zone at all costs until he has his shit together.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Wtf is your problem that you're diving into something with someone who just got out of a decade + long relationship JUST 6 months ago? Nobody would be ready for another relationship, whether they think so or not.

Why aren't YOU using common sense and keeping your emotional distance? Are you desperate for a relationship? Fawning over what happened when you were practically children?

Come on now, use some common sense. This guy isn't clearly ready for shit and you're being irrational.

"Losing" him? Please. You never had him to begin with. He's still on an emotional rollercoaster. Avoid/keep friend zone at all costs until he has his shit together.

+1. You are definitely glazing over reality because of some high school
puppy love you had with him.

Ok, well thank you everyone for responding. Although rocky road your comments are harsh... I appreciate them. Reality check I suppose. I have been happy that I've helped him to move past some of the hard months and have greatly enjoyed entertaining the thought that something more could come of this. At the end of the day actions speak louder than words. Being friends have never been an issue w/us. He is a man and sexy and men come naturally. I suppose I got sweated away w/his words and who he is...... I missed being cared for and wanted like that. Anyways, I'll be taking your advice as it has confirmed my own guy instinct and say thanks again.

Size zero, I agree with you. To explain in high school... Nothing makes sense but ppl new we were friends but no one ever knew how good a friends we were. Either way after reuniting this year I did ask him if he was embarrassed about us back then. He said no, he said that I always had a boyfriend and he felt I was to much of a woman/too free spirited back then. Lol we were eta others date on Prom and we almost had sex that night... But we didn't! Well we did now... And I'm glad we waited. Unfortunately I should have waited a lot longer it seems from the response I'm getting here.
He has been fair and honest about his position and that he does like me and is attracted to me. I think I just allowed myself to read more into all this than what was there. I'm a girl after all and we always want more. Not to mention this guy was always special to me.... Idiot me thought maybe it was fait! Dreaming away and not being realistic. I've had my heart broken so many times I wanted to believe that something wonderful like this could happen to me. I'm grateful that he us still my friend and that he's back in my life.
Now the question is how do I stop feeling attraction for him, stop the everyday conversations and actually just he friends?
I can't be the friend w/benefits, as we all know how that turns out... So that has to stop for sure. Any other suggestions are welcomed.

Here's the thing, the 'rebound girl' is never the one that ends up in a committed relationship. You need to extract yourself for a while, stay out of his life and let him come back to you in time once he has healed.

I have read many of the posts here on the site explaining how libra's think, how they love, what they need etc.
When I ask my libra friend why he talks to me everyday he says because I like talking to you. Forgetting all the other intimate things we've done together. Understanding his struggle emotionally with his life changing I asked him who else he talks to. He says no one except you.
His routine is get up early, work, work home, talks to me and sleep. He is not an extroverted libra rather introverted... Likes spending alone time, time at home. How the heck do I excuse myself from lengthy conversations and retract to the"friend zone" — Due to his routine.... He takes up so much of my time that even if I wanted to get out there and start dating other men. I'd have to ignore his texts, phone call right? Honesty is the best policy... But already there have been times he questions where and what I was doing and adds ( in humour) " oh I see I'm not important, ok go go you have more important ppl to talk to". But he leaves his comments with a sense of jealousy. As a scorpio I am very loyal and I literally feel guilty that I'm not giving him my undivided attention.
With that said any thoughts or opinions on how to deal with that

Who cares?

Dude has issues to work through and it's selfish of him to think you'll be around while he fucks around and gets his shit together.

He can't have his cake and eat it too, and to expect it that way is selfish on his part. He's not ready for a relationship and won't (and shouldn't) commit, but expects you to drop everything for him?

Reeed Flaaag.

Thoughts and opinions? Grow a pair and say to hell with it. Loyalty, my ass. You don't owe this guy anything, tbh. You're being treated as a crutch, here- one that's taking place of his failed relationship.

Rocky road... That's one way of looking at it. You are very bold person and see a situation as it is. Which is not a bad thing by any means... I appreciate your view and truthfully agree with you in some aspects. I got your advice and plan to follow through w/staying in the friend zone. I agree that he's not ready for anything, other than being someone he can talk to. I was simply asking... How to retract myself out of the position I placed myself in w/a Libra man and remain friends. I have never been in this type of situation before.
You don't care but I do! That's why I'm here posting my thoughts and feelings, hoping to get info and luckily I did!!! So thank you!

Now w/the info I've received here I feel better about all this .... It's hard to let someone go that has brought something back I to your life! You know that feeling? It's awesome when your the 1st person they think of when they or you get up and your the last person they think of before the go to sleep. THAT FEELING! So if you can see it's just sad for me... Cause it's been so freaking long that someone put a smile on my face and made feel special. Can you understand that? say to hell w/it? Heck noooooo, their has to be a nicer way to stay close but not to close so that he works his "butter" out! Lol

I understand that you want to keep the friendship going. There's nothing wrong with that. It's your attitude toward the situation that's making it harder on you.

YOU stated that you feel some sort of "loyalty" toward him for some unknown reason, and he's just trying to manipulate you into being an emotional crutch.

THAT is some bullshit right there. That was my point. You're acting like you have some sort of obligation toward him for some mysterious reason. You don't. Realize that. Maybe you'd have an easier time shifting this back to the friend zone if you did. But instead, you're doing the typical Scorp servant bullshit because you're in luurve because he hypnotized you with his penis.

You're just going to make it all the harder on yourself.

Wow, now that is super advice sugar foot and yes you too Rocky! But sugar foot you worded it in a way I understand and yet never looked at it that way.
As I write this now, I'm shaking my head thinkng... Wow I must have been hypnotized by this guy! Lol

He is actually a wonderful, funny, caring and hard working man... I agree I don't think he realizes that he is using me to fill the empty space when there is no one to talk to. Yet he only wanted me when he says. It's been hard to make plans w/him and I'm seeing that it's all on his terms.

I can't thank you enough... and because I do care about him, remaining friends (on the phone) is a good thing. In the mean time .... It's time for me to wipe my tears of shame away for allowing myself to go as far as I did, and get emotionally attached and start all over again.

Thank you everyone

Wait one more question.. In one week I have vacation in which he offered me to stay at his cottage where he lives by the beach. Obviously a week ago I was thrilled and invited my girlfriend to come up for a couple days to join me. After this past week. With the advice I've been given from you and his actions clearly now talking to me like friends this past week.

I am wondering if I should not say anything and when vacation time comes, if he asks if I'm staying there politely say "thank you, we made other plans"?
Or go through w/it feeling right now how weird and awkward I will feel. Not knowing if I'll actually be able to just be friends as my feelings are hurt right now. Do you know what I mean? Again please feel free to offer your thoughts..

Posted by tiziani

Posted by chakita75
Wait one more question.. In one week I have vacation in which he offered me to stay at his cottage where he lives by the beach. Obviously a week ago I was thrilled and invited my girlfriend to come up for a couple days to join me. After this past week. With the advice I've been given from you and his actions clearly now talking to me like friends this past week.

I am wondering if I should not say anything and when vacation time comes, if he asks if I'm staying there politely say "thank you, we made other plans"?
Or go through w/it feeling right now how weird and awkward I will feel. Not knowing if I'll actually be able to just be friends as my feelings are hurt right now. Do you know what I mean? Again please feel free to offer your thoughts..

I don't agree with what everyone else has said here (even though it seems so it's what you needed to hear so what do I know?) but even I would not go on a week long trip with someone when I already feel the discomfort. If you're feeling uncomfortable it's because your gut is telling you where the limits are drawn.

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Agree with Tiz...Tell him that you've made other plans, but thank him for the offer. That is the beginning of distancing yourself from his clutches.