libra complaint #387934987348934

So one of my best friends is a libra... ok fine a have several libra friends. this one so happens to have known me since 2001 and is offically an a $ $ hole. I'll tell you why!

A week ago she was desperately trying to get ride of her taurus bf (one of my best friends no less). complaining how horrible hes been and all this other crap and continued to 'try' to break it off and ended up confronted by him when he showed up at our hangout spot one evening. she had pleading eyes when i left her (pleading me to not leave her alone with him), i thought to myself... you guys need to solve ur own problems see ya! apparently they patched things up.

Now here we are a week later.... tell me how my birthdays this saturday and shes been reminding me and asking what we'd be doing all month only to intercept a txt she was sending her bfs best friend... 'hey what do u think of us taking bf to six flags on april 26'..... a $ $ shole THATS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Tell me how shes been complaining about him for like EVER and she decides to have a birthday party for him on MY birthday (his is two days after mine). i dont care what her reasoning is, there isnt a good one. even if it was gonna be a joint thing, its my birthday and u should ask if someone wants to have it joint. i offically disinvited her to my b-day and her response is...'ew fine'. remind me why anyone likes libra's? can someone explain to me why my best friend has done this and even still why should i expect anything from her since she always misses my b-day for some dumb reason!? why do i expect her to care when obviously im not as important as the guy shes been meaning to get rid of and on top of that has been asking about my b-day since this month started!?

someone explain this.

she's being herself and doing her thing, try not taking her so seriously all the time. If you really want to know why she did what she did, ask her, being a libra she may not give you a complete answer but at least you can tell her how you feel without stooping to her level by being juvenile about it.

Some people are just a**holes and immature, sounds like she's a little bit of both but you don't have to be equally immature by not inviting her to your party. In the future make a mental note not to include her in birthdays etc when you know she's prone to be a flake out and this will alleviate problems. You won't expect her to come to future events which saves you the time and energy of having not to deal with her bad behavior which will keep your friendship intact and maybe she will notice that she's never being included in those important events and stop the flakey behavior.

You can't expect your friend to be different if she's always been the way she is.

Yea i messaged her when it happened all she said was 'oops i wasnt sending that to you...my bad' and then 'ew fine'. shes usually ok with being around for things minus my birthday for some reason, yet she always asks about it. and honestly i just feel tired with this behavior in general, yes i've known libras to be flaky, not even to their friends but even to whomever their partner is as well. i could never really understand why someone can be so absent minded for things that are either reminded of or are of high importance in that sense rather than in business. granted ur job can get u fired, hence no more money for that free time, but why forget ur friends and loved ones? what is there importance value, when do the rest of us come in. and yes very childish, but honestly i rather not see her and let it be known as to why i do not want her around then her just not being informed. she probably wouldnt notice for an extreme amount of time, not even sure if it would faze her.

Sounds like she has been asking you for a month what you wanted to do for your birthday and you kept shrugging it off so she is making other plans.

a best friend shouldn't ditch their best friend on their birthday. Next i made the somewhat object of house party seeing as it makes it easier for everyone to join in. Not good enough reason

Why didn't you make plans with her if she had been inquiring a month prior?

if you know she's the flaky kind then let her be her and you do what you need to do for yourself and if that means not including her than don't include her in certain things thus you can maintain your friendship with her without all the drama. Why keep beating a dead horse, accept she's a flake and move on from it.

tiki in that aspect you sound very like her. why fight what is what is. that i understand and im not trying to bring drama, more like i wanna be able to understand it, hence asking libras or anyone who's been around libras. why should i make plans JUST with her when its my birthday and i wanan spend it with all my friends, is that a just reason for bailing? if thats how libra logic works its a wonder people stick around. im just asking for insight, but if the best answer i'd ever get is 'it is what it is'... thats kinda depressing.

There is no logic in my opinion, they pretty much do what they want despite objections by other people, if she feels no obligation to do whats fair towards the friendship maybe you never set boundaries so she feels no obligation to be what you feel a best friend should be and she probably will never feel it if you don't set up boundaries. Also it's a matter of maturity, she doesn't seem to be all that mature, take note that her taurus boyfriend confronted her and they are still together, seems confrontation works with her, try it, back her in a corner, say how you feel and see what results you get from it.

thank you, i'll look into it. her taurus bf backed her into a wall, because he doesnt believe in short term relationships. that and i forewarned him on her habits and how she will 'attempt' at breaking up between 2 or 3 months, so lucky for him he already knew how to handle her. i guess i've just been so used to her habits i kno how to work around them, but this one puzzled me.

i never figured we had boundaries or boundaries were ever established in our friendship or any friendship. shes very similar to the person she was when i first met her, everything works around her schedule and if i cancel she cares not and months will go by that we dont speak.

i once confronted her and explained to her how i felt about our entire friendship, she fought for the survival of our friendship (not the first time i've wanted her out of my life). Yet a majority of the argument she switched like the manipulative chick that she is and explained how the reason our friendship was dying was due to my bf. because i could never go on aim anymore (because i was never home) she could never talk to me (dumb excuse), because she didnt have a cell with free txt she couldnt contact me (ok i can deal with that, but she has unlimited now). my it went as far as her best friend getting closer and knowing more about me than she did 'o im sry i have things to do' (rude and crude response). Typically because she wants to be right and fails to hear otherwise she will always be right and thats how she likes it. i eventually gave up fighting and said 'whatever' -we didnt speak for a month and a half. until out of the blue she messages me.

at this point im used to it and couldnt care so much, except i kno her bf will be at my party and i honestly dont want her around, but i dont wanna deal with her bf saying 'why cant she come'.

* why should i make plans JUST with her when its my birthday and i wanan spend it with all my friends, is that a just reason for bailing?

Duh! She isn't asking you to make plans with JUST her. She was asking what YOU wanted to do so she could book the day and spend it with you. Her bf (despite what you think of their relationship) is also celebrating a birthday. She was nagging you so she could work her plans for him around what you were doing but you didn't get back to her about what you wanted to do so .... she made other plans then you get mad because hey .... she has other things to do.

Newsflash .... The world does not revolve around you.

* i forewarned him on her habits and how she will 'attempt' at breaking up between 2 or 3 months, so lucky for him he already knew how to handle her.

WOW!!!!

I hope she doesn't remain friends with you. WOW. Just WOW!

doubt it, still not a good enough excuse, especially when her bf is coming to my party. His birthdays 2 days after mine and last i checked already booked it to hit up a bar with me that night as well. And nope she wont be attending that night due to the fact that she is underage. so i dont see how that could be the reason, and derf the world doesnt revolve around me, but last i checked that day it does! and on top of that she knows i was gonna do a house party and not have it out because she wouldnt be able to attend.

i wouldnt see how thats a bad thing, she does it to each person and last i checked she already told the kid she loved him. that in mind just because hes not paying attention to her for one day doesnt mean he needs to be dumped either. He's good for her and ironically shes gaining a lot from him, minus her commitment issues. if she truely wanted him 100% the 'trying' to break up wouldnt be 'trying'.

Who are you to judge and interfere in HER life? YOU do not know what is best for her.

Wow!

So now she is being excluded from his birthday as well? Your poor friend. My heart goes completely out to her. I seriously hope she dumps both of you.

I seriously don't think you have any idea how selfish and cruel you are.

Ohhhh welll .... one day you will realize.

lolz i cant see how shes getting excluded from his entirely. He's taking the day off and she isnt working so they'll most likely do something that day anyway. next i dont see how im a poor friend advising him how to be with her, she says she loves him, truly loves him (the same day she ranted her complaints), so wheres the harm in helping him b with her? besides she already knows i warned him, so its not like i did it behind her back and she enjoyed her v-day present, so?

I love how me helping her bf who adores her and wants to give her the best and shes even said she adores him is a bad thing. let alone doing any wrong, besides that i havent said a word of bad against either of them and have been keeping 'mums the word' since they got together. i told them both they can rant to me, but im not getting involved aside from listening to them.

please enlighten me, how am i being cruel? She goes ahead and plans something for him on my birthday, the same exact that we'd been talking about all month. it had been discussed that it will most likely take place at my house (since she cant go out) and it makes it easier for others to all be in one place. and it isnt the first b-day shes ditched for one reason or another.

again how is that selfish of me to want my best friend at my bday?

Next she still has sunday and monday (her bfs actual bday) which hes taking off the day cuz he refuses to work on his bday. hes hanging with me and a couple others cuz he wants to hit up a bar, she cant come cuz shes not legal, but thats still not the entire day, thats like 10pm at night when she has to be home anyway. so?

Your not making sense, if she's going to hang out with her boyfriend during the day on your birthday why are you stressing, am i missing something here?? She still has time to spend with her boyfriend and you so I'm not sure what the problem is. It's feasible that she would hang out with him and then head over to your party afterwards.

She's young, I mean very young if she has to be home at 10pm, give the girl a break, she's living life and making mistakes also whassup with the expectations, leave her alone and let her do her thing, she's allowed to make mistakes, be flakey, I wouldn't expect anything less from someone 21 and under. FYI talking behind her back to the boyfriend or anyone is a no no, I can see your point about her behavior bothering you so of course deal with it but she's a kid.

Oh no, going to six flags is an all day thing, she wouldnt be back til wayyyyy late (i.e should wouldnt be able to come). i was born at 4:03am, so its tradition that we hit up a breakfast place or somebody cooks that morning(plus i know this place thats open early and has all u can drink champagne for breakfast *weird). but yea its somethings shes never really been apart of due to the fact my b-day falls on spring break *hence she disappears every year and this is the one year shes around*. it's just like shes forgetting about the day she was bugging me about. my birthdays usually an all day thing i dont mind if ur late, but i was hurt when i saw that message. it started making me question what was going on 'um... did you forget the person who hooked u up with ur dream boat?', granted im happi for them... but i dont expect to be ditched for him.

and on the bf talk, trust me he needed it. besides i never hold back from my friends, she knows i told him. She wasnt all thrilled, but realized the benefit of ur bff telling ur bf certain habits. it's the age old story of 'i shouldnt have to tell you, you should just kno', so shes was fine with it. that was the only thing i ever told him, because even though shes my best friend, so is he and he really likes her and he said asked from the begining a bunch of stuff that i had to clear up (shes a huge flirt and has tons of friends and he has been cheated on a lot). so it benefited both of them, granted after that i vowed never to intervene and i havent. he has a fight with her, yea im willing to listen, and maybe advise them like 'well think of it this way', because i know them both so well... but otherwise trust me i dont wanna get involved and they respect that.

you already know her habits so why keep bitching about it, you had your chance to make official plans but it sounds like you didn't, she asked and asked all month so whats the problem, I'm assuming plans weren't official with the whole b-day thing, let her go on and be with her man, you go enjoy your birthday, why stress over her bad habits, its not new with you, you know her so well that you informed her new boyfriend about her bad habits now your acting brand new lol, too funny...

lolz, very true. I guess it's kinda like the movie Eragon...'I expected....more'. either way the show must go on, but i feel better now having vented. So thanks!

I hate to say this, but get over it. The 26th falls on a Saturday and most people do birthday celebrating on the weekends because time allows for it. It also sounds like she is trying to accommodate her bf and your bdays by spending the day together, so what's wrong with that?

Next, I can't believe that you claim to be her best friend when you "warned" her boyfriend that she'll break up with him in 2 or 3 months? What were you hoping that would accomplish?

I honestly think you're being a hypocrite.

You're showing the typical side of our Taurean jealousy with all this mumbo jumbo. She's underage, how old are you?

Well on her bf, honestly i was hoping he'd be the one to break her habits. He seems to be one of the few guys that are getting to her and shes been single for a LONG time. She's been depressed and kinda waiting for someone to break her out of her shell and from what i've seen he has. they seem to be great together and she enjoys being about him a lot!

besides i dont see whats wrong with warning him when she did the same thing he did. She asked of any horrible habits she should know before hand so she doesnt have to freak out (this is 3 months ago). i warned her of his possessive behavior and how not to talk about mommy subject (his mother left him for dead) and some other crap she should know. the rest obviously she'll learn on her own.

Note: i havent told either of them anything since that day, otherwise im just listening. that day i left her alone with him after they had some fight, was cuz i didnt wanna get involved. kinda like i gave my last piece of advice b4 they became and offical couple and everything else was left up to them.

how am i being jealous? 24

"shes been single for a LONG time. "

She's underage, so I'm assuming she 19 or 20. That being said, let her be single!!!!

As a fellow Taurus, I am not afraid to tell you that what you did was not very loyal to her or him. They are in the relationship, not you. So whatever she decides should be done without any outside influence. Same for him.

But back to the original post, you birthday happens to fall on the weekend and his doesn't; let it go.

shes 20 going on 50. being singles fine, i've been single, my sisters been single, my other best friends been single. trust me i understand single hood is AWESOME! But for her, i rather her be with a normal guy then a psycho, she has a past history of getting with emotionally unavailable people or people who once they get close to her she freaks out and runs away. then talks about them for double the amount of what their relationship was and how she wishes she hadnt screwed it up.

But isn't that her right to do? If she's your best friend, then you've accepted her already for who she is, so let her want to change her ways on her own. If you force her to change, you will not have a best friend for much longer.

um ur obviously a little delayed kinda let go the b-day thing already, thanks to ranting and tiki. but otherwise on the loyal part i see what you're saying, but i believe it was for their benefit. i dont regret it, cuz it means she gets what shes always been asking for 'someone who doesnt give up on her'. and he definately gets a loving gf, since ur a taurus you've probably seen the 'taurus men get cheated on a lot' convo b4. hes one of those sweet hearted and walked on guys.

i doubt she'd stop being my best friend for me telling her bf how to get her back to sane. trust me she already knew that, complained for a min but got over it. the only thing of recent is him saying something she didnt like and her reacting like she always does. she doesnt believe relationships should ever argue and wanted to end it. had he been anyone else it wouldve been ended. even had i not told him it would happen, i know his reaction would've been the same and thats why he tracked her down

um you posted this at 2:40something today...I don't lurk on this site all day, so I'm responding to the entire post sweetheart.

it's still not your place to intervene on their relationship, especially if she doesn't know what you did.

if my "best friend" would have pointed out my flaws to my fiance', I would tell her exactly what I think of her being my so-called friend and tell her to stay out of my business and quite frankly, she may be out of my life for that kind of betrayal. my fiance' grew to know who I was on his own without outside influence and that includes a best friend, even if you think you know what's best for them.

"i doubt she'd stop being my best friend for me telling her bf how to get her back to sane."

are you calling your best friend crazy? that's pessimistic... 😢

i like to think of it as, she asked i warned, he asked i warned and then whiped my hands clean. and yea its been a slow day at work. i've been over the fact that shes a flake, its been heard round the world. still dont get why shes like that, but yea theres no changing that like you said. obviously a fellow taurus like yourself could still understand why i was confused as to why she sent me that txt and why i felt hurt. yes u accept best friends for who they are, they obviously got there somehow and obviously we have something in common.

I don't know...if you doubt she's stop being your best friend for what you did, what's stopping you from telling her you had that conversation with her boyfriend?

"i've been over the fact that shes a flake, its been heard round the world."

-Wow. I'm sorry but I defend my friends; I don't talk trash about them.


"obviously a fellow taurus like yourself could still understand why i was confused as to why she sent me that txt and why i felt hurt. "

-No, I don't understand. Like I said, your bday falls on the weekend and his doesn't. Most people celebrate bdays on the weekends because time allows for it. Look at the situation from a more fair point of view.

oh know on that note i completely understand loyalty. dont get me wrong i didnt tell him everything about her, i just let him know ahead of time that the only thing that might screw it up is her commitment phobia. might not be my place to say, either way that was in jan and i told her about it... and since shes still my friend (even tho im a little upset with her), obviously our friendships still around.

if i had seriously went on telling him every little pet pev and everything she does for exactly what reason... then that'd definitely be betrayal and thats wayyyyy out of my place. let alone not my interest, they wouldnt be dating at that point and i wouldnt expect her to talk to me if i did that.

No its actually something i've heard from everyone, granted im saying it now, but its not something i havent heard about her. i defend my friends when they need defending, right or wrong. the reason i kno she hasnt stopped being my friend is because shes always there for me when i need her and vice versa. I was there when she was happi they went on a mini vacay, i was there when she said how mean he was over her need for attention. i was there when she had shit with her mom, i was there when they were on good times, we were both there backing my other libra gf up when her ex was verbally attacking her. we've always had each others back since the day we met.

you cant say you havent been mad at ur friend or ever wanted to wack them to figure out why they did the dumb thing they did. regardless if it was to another person, to themselves or to you. yea my birthdays on a saturday, whats ur point? fine its the weekend... theres 2 days in a weekend, and this main topic was about that txt i had gotten that made me think she'd forgotten me. its not about being jealous its about feeling like my best friend let me down. in an instant what else could i feel in a moment. and yea i needed to vent, so whats wrong with that?

((someone explain this.))

You are taurus. you wont understand a libra as what we are. Simple.

and another point. You having the idea that she is an a $ $ hole (though i wonder why u hv to address a female like that than calling her a cookiemonster) alone makes it a bad friendship. If I think bad about some of my buddies, I dont naturally expect them to spend time with me or remember my bday or anything.

am not bashing. I have never met a female who addresses another female as an a $ $ hole. They always call each other b!tc h. So it sounds a bit weird to me. And she is complaining about the female whom she consider as her best friend. If something happens which makes you complain about your best friend, it means he/she really wasn't your best friend. If it was your friend, you would understand her actions and wont judge her for whatever she is. Its a very simple logic. On top of that she expects her friend to give her more importance than her bf. Thats signs of selfishness.

AL, have you ever addressed your female friend as an ahole to a third person? Or do you instead say "that b!1ch"— I seriously have never heard a girl using that against another girl. Thats what surprises me. not the meaning or what her friend did to her.

Arianlatay ur AWESOME! u read exactly what i posted and took it in the way i meant it, i appreciate that. honestly yea totally needed to vent, and yea dxp ppl tend to jump at u for any reason udner the sun. noted with all libra's i've encountered they always find a way to switch the story and make themselves the victum...nothing new.

And again, yep ironically wasnt able to go to the gym, probably wont today either due to work and such. totally just needed to vent, and honestly i dont feel i need to go and drag and re-explain to my best friend as to why im mad. shes known me for 7 yrs, there no way she couldnt figure out im pissed at her, then again she could just be avoding me til i calm down. either way she knows im pissed and im sry if it means im being childish, but she tends to disregard things like that as if it was nothing.

again the whole purpose of this post to vent about her not attending my birthday.to really say if she will 'magically appear', i'll have to wait on that. either way, shes my best friend and why shouldnt i get pissed? why shouldnt i be mad at the one person who promised that she'd be attending my day this year, since she's missed all the others? i think im being realistic to say im disappointed in her and i have good reason to be annoyed / upset / betrayed. I'm not being illogical and saying 'o well she should know what days my birthday'... trust me she knows its been said several times throughout our friendship (and even her first love shares my birthday), she remembers.

I dont think im a bad friend, selfish or cruel. FYI i actually never use the term 'b1tch' towards any woman, its a disgusting word and honestly lacks class. a $ $ hole on the other hand is something used towards everyone, and yea both me and a majority of girlfriends have called each other a $ $ holes. so thats an okay term. next it's my birthday, its the day i was born and we attempt at celebrating hers just as mine every yr. cruel....i dont see it, just cuz my friends being a total (again) a $ $ hole, for something SHE should be remembering since SHE herself has claimed me as her BEST FRIEND (over and over, its even written in her profile), i dont see how im cruel.

Arianlatay is right on everything, and im glad an aries chick understood what i was soo angry about (part aries myself so YAY!!!!). either way ur probably right on the considering past note...

she's had a habit of that type of behavior, i HAVE spoken to her and tried to fix things before... but she doesnt listen. she always finds a loop hole of finds an excuse to explain herself (usually an unrealistic one) and i shouldnt have expected anymore from her. so u guys are right i do leave room for disappointment, but for me i would hope an yea i do naturally assume that when its one of ur best friends birthdays u should be there no matter what. u do whatever they like to do, because its the one day thats theres. since i've done the same for all my other gfs, i'd think the same of her. its not like i havent gone out of my way to surprise her b4, its ot like i havent always had her back and taken on the world with her, so to speak.

i kinda see my best friends as my warrior women, we stand together and fight along side together (aries side kicking in), therefore when ones not there u kinda ask as to why? Maybe we've been fake friends for yrs, maybe our friendship has lost itself a long time ago. either way im not entirely sure.

My birthday falls on thanksgiving. Noone is ever around for my birthday. I don't really worry about it.

Stop trying to fix your friend. Seriously. She is who she is and the more you attempt to control her and her behaviour, the more you will encounter her passive resistence. Noone likes to be controlled, criticised, or changed. Just leave her alone and worry about your own stuff.

BTW, I have had only three misunderstandings with my best friend of MANY, MANY years. Neither of us would ever speak or treat each other the way you have treated your friend because our friendship is based on love, acceptance, and respect.

You may want to work on those things if you want your relationship with your friend to grow.

I can understand how you're feeling, Aranlaty has it right. But, I would like to point out that the title of your post is threatening, your tone of voice is threatening toward all libras, why wouldn't we react negatively toward your attitude, which is not just directed at your friends, but suddenly a whole world of people who share her star sign?

From a totally different perspective, my friendship with my "best friend" of 7 yrs ended last summer. Completely and totally. She was a taurus, I am a libra. I could spend hours explaining how selfish, controlling, and JUDGEMENTAL she was, but in the end, none of it matters. She did not respect me, she tarnished my reputation by revealing FALSE and PERSONAL information about me to people who had no business knowing any of it. I'm not trying to accuse you of being like her (I sincerely don't think you are) but I see parallels here, between your friendship and mine. Be careful, you are not perfect either. Friends make mistakes together.

It is your birthday. She has been there for 7 of them, AND this is her first LOVE relationship. It's his birthday, too. You are getting older, and things will always ultimately change. The older you get, the less important these things become. Friendship starts being about the moments, not EVERY moment. Have your girl's back, and try to be more understanding.

* I could spend hours explaining how selfish, controlling, and JUDGEMENTAL she was, but in the end, none of it matters. She did not respect me, she tarnished my reputation by revealing FALSE and PERSONAL information about me to people who had no business knowing any of it.

OMG! This is EXACTLY what happened when I had a taurus best friend. Wild! She spread all sorts of gossip and rumours about me to my (now) ex's friends among other people. She was still doing it three years AFTER we ended our friendship. WTF?

She was crazy controlling and always telling me what to do and what was "wrong" with me.

Wild the parallels.

Also why I so strongly identified with the Libra girl here. I was young at the time and hadn't learned to speak up for myself and stand in my own power.

Oddly, she took up with my cousin, who is a leo, and also tried to hang out with the ex after we broke up despite the fact she didn't like him, his friends, or anything else about him. A few years ago my cousin came to me an appologized. He said she was crazy and a drama queen and that out of all his friends. I was the only one who never caused him any grief. I laughed and said I know. There is a reason why me and her aren't friends and it is a good one. 😉