Libra called..Wants to be friends

Libra called today...apologized for hurting me and wants to be friends..Promised me that he would not hit on me anymore, he realized that he was doing this before (after saying we would be friends only)He did this twice...Still says he scared to have another relationship..

Should I trust him to not to do this again?? I still have some feelings for him but I do realize that he has alot of issues to deal with...and now I see that we would not be good in a relationship..

I would like to maintain a friendship, but I have to question whether he is manipulating me again..What do you guys think??

***Should I trust him to not to do this again?? I still have some feelings for him but I do realize that he has alot of issues to deal with...and now I see that we would not be good in a relationship..***

The question is... Should you trust yourself. Because you still have feelings for him, being physically around him right now, might not be good. Start slow talk on the phone, periodically not daily.

I also feel a loss of respect for him, although sometimes I am torn, and I think his actions are because he was so hurt in pasy relationship..But the respect thing comes into play because I feel that if he was so hurt, why would he hurt me...

Hurt

I don't think he ever meant to hurt or manipulate you. I think he is just a weak person who lacks self-awareness.

What would you get out of the friendship? What would he? Does the friendship uplift you or drag you back? Let that be your guide.

I guess your right LS..I don't think he has found his middle ground with anything..And he does lack self -awareness.. I do miss talking to him alot and we do have a great friendship..But we also have a strong attraction and when we act upon it it damages the friendship because he gets cold..

I am past the intimate part and I feel like I want to be friends with him again but we have already gone this route twice and it hasn't worked..

I think I will take Queen scorpios advise and just talk on the phone for the time being..
He mentioned us getting together to eat but I think I will pass for the time being..

don't think it will work.

move onto a better person who give you the run-around. it's easier said than done, I know...but it's your heartache, not his.

who WON'T give you the runaround

Honesty check...He did tell me that he was with other people and that is bothering me, I have a huge knot in my stomach...But he said he was done with that because he always felt bad after...I guess if we are going to be friends, i will have to toughen up...

HH, it just means you aren't ready to be just friends.

Why would you keep doing this to yourself? it hasn't been all that long since you two decided to end things romantically/intimately....why would you keep putting yourself through more torture by agreeing to be friends right now and why the hell would he tell you he is seeing others? That's just awful!!!

AS an outsider looking in? OMG that is just emotional manipulation if I've ever read about it - sheesh!!! I thought my ex Libra took the prize but he's NOT looking after your friendship with him, he's looking out for him....so he wants you to be his counsellor and listen to ALL OF HIS problems all the time?? pfftttt!!!

Get out while you can coz this guy is just going to continue to put you through the wringer..."says being intimate is to emotional for him" WTF— its ALL ABOUT HIM!!!! and right there, what he said to you is manipulating you because it makes you want to hold on because he's making you think that he's emotional about YOU when in fact he's sleeping with others....nah!!! He's a loser so send him to the LIONS!! THE REAL ONES lol

Hurt Heart, I am dating a Libra that is showing me nothing but respect, nothing but honesty, and OMG he ended up consoling me last night (not that I asked) because I didnt think I did well in an interview I went for yesterday (no, I did not cry, etc, but I was down)....the whole day he text me wishing me luck, as soon as he thought I was out he text "how did you go?"...yada yada yada.....this guy hardly knows me, but the first Libra? he wouldn't have given a crap about me, in fact, he'd have turned the whole thing around to him. Your LIbra sounds exactly like the one I just escaped from.

My Libra though, had the decency to not ring me up, to not text me, to allow me to heal and to move on....now though, he is starting to come back but I dont have the time for him...he had his chance, in fact he had so many chances but he blew them all and you know why— coz he was more satisfied chatting to strangers online every night than to see exactly what he really had...now he's finally realised and so will yours but you MUST escape his clutches or you will be travelling the same road I travelled for too long as did I.

Give up on him, he knows you wish to be friends but he isn't being a friend to you...he's using you and manipulating you and once you understand that you will see him in a completely different light, trust me.....LOVE/relationships/friendships should NOT be so difficult 🙂

Chatz

I understand what your saying...But if he dosen't want to be intimate or have a relationship with me and we are just friends, what is he manipulating me for?? I have questioned the fact that I also think he is manipulating me but I don't understand his angle...

*** I understand what your saying...But if he dosen't want to be intimate or have a relationship with me and we are just friends, what is he manipulating me for?? ***

Because he knows you want more and are still very emotionally connected and it boosts, once again HIS ego. It isn't at all about you. He is all about him, his needs and desires. If he was a true friend and really cared for you he would have done what Chatz libra did. Let her go because he knew he wasn't ready/couldn't/wouldn't give her what she wanted. It was a painful thing, but a respectable one.

HH, stop making excuses and let him go. Or keep seeing him while secretly holding on to hopes that he will eventually want you to be HIS just to be disappointed and heart broken in the end. Librans know from the beginning what their intent is with you most times.

***See what you mean, but wouldn't his ego have been boosted by the other woman, he dosen't really need me to boost his ego..It wasn't just me that he dosen't want to be intimate with, it is anybody, he says it's too emotional..***

HE HAS been with others. Didn't he tell you that? It is clear you aren't ready to let go, so I guess you will continue the torture. The people giving you advice have been there with a libra. I have had tons of experience with them personally. Sounds like you are going to do what you want. Weather you admit it or not you are still very emotionally invested in him and you would love for the two of you to be in a relationship. It is clear. Do what you want. We gave the advice.

No one is saying to NOT be his friend. However it gets messy when there is a ton of emotions involved.

ISI, so many of us have advised this, why she is still asking the same question in different ways is beyond me. She is going to do what she feels. It is starting to sound like a broken record about the same advice given by everyone who responded. It is up to her to continue to suffer or heal and move on. I bet she wants to suffer a little longer just to be in his life on any level, while he boosts his ego and she is added as another tool to do so amongst the others. Again, it is up to her.

Gotcha QS ..Loud and clear...Your right, it is too soon to be friends.. I have moved on and this will set me back...And no I don't want to suffer to be in his life...

Thanks

EXACTLY.

and

"Because he knows you want more and are still very emotionally connected and it boosts, once again HIS ego. It isn't at all about you. He is all about him, his needs and desires. If he was a true friend and really cared for you he would have done what Chatz libra did. Let her go because he knew he wasn't ready/couldn't/wouldn't give her what she wanted. It was a painful thing, but a respectable one.

HH, stop making excuses and let him go. Or keep seeing him while secretly holding on to hopes that he will eventually want you to be HIS just to be disappointed and heart broken in the end. Librans know from the beginning what their intent is with you most times"

Im sorry to say and I hope I dont rub any libras on this board up the wrong way but when they want something they will manipulate any which way they want...yes, I am dating a LIbra and know all the tricks now....that's what makes it so much fun, because this time I will NOT get burnt but this time, im also dating one who makes time for me, who does not do the disappearing act (well not yet anyway, Im waiting for it LOL).

HH, this guy is NOT what you need nor deserve in your life....he's playing you like a fiddle and the more time you do give him? the more he'll take but give NOTHING back ever!!!

Friends? yes down the track perhaps, like 6-12 months away MAYBE!!! My Libra (1), its been 6 months and he is slowly coming back....he knows I was crazy about him, he knew he could not give me what I needed/want/deserve so he did the right thing - I give him that and respect him for it and still love him dearly, just not that same love I had because he does not deserve it. If your friendship is REAL? it WILL survive the test of time, if not? you never really had a f/ship at all.

The ball is in your court but I do see you hanging onto false hope and you keep making excuses for his bad behaviour and the sympathy bit?? he's a grown man, he should grow up and stop leaning on you.....dont wait for this one...he's got a LONG road to travel

Enjoy your life and yes, trust me, he IS seeing other people....being intimate is too emotional— now that's the most pathetic line I've ever read....argghhh!!!!

Ok if you have not inherited Chatz, LeoKitten, & QS advice, then you're either blind, or just weak for the Libra ex! I just wanted to say that my Libra ex and I have recently decided to be "friends" too. After reading this post, I'm no longer sure this was the right decision. Only time will tell. But I will say this: I was back and forth with him and I know him even better now. Just like Chatz learn all the tricks from her 1st Libra, I have learned my exs too. We share a very platonic relationship which is why I think being friends is ok. However, the emotional manipulation is what I have to be careful of b/c to a degree I know I can get attached. I thank my mars in Scorpio to be able to resist it and control the urge b/c my dignity is intact LOL HH I say if you've moved on, then take the friendship in baby steps. No need to rush. Plus if he really needed you he'd want to be with you.

One last thing. I noticed that the further you get away from a Libra man, the more they look for you. It's confusing to me and downright immature LOL why do they do this??It's obvious why but yet complex.

"One last thing. I noticed that the further you get away from a Libra man, the more they look for you. It's confusing to me and downright immature LOL why do they do this??It's obvious why but yet complex"

One of those great mysteries....the more I ignore Libra 1? the more he's following me around and he's been trying to phone but i am not completely over him so I dont answer....in time he may even give up but I cannot put myself there again or I will become entrapped in his wicked little web again LOL.

They're fantastic friends, this I do know but if you are emotionally involved and there's friendship on the table? take your time...again, if its a REAL friendship, the test of time will certainly show that 🙂

***Gotcha QS ..Loud and clear...Your right, it is too soon to be friends.. I have moved on and this will set me back...And no I don't want to suffer to be in his life...***

Just reread my post, sorry I sounded harsh but, I am blunt to a fault. It also bothers me when we (women) alow men to have their way and not receive anything in return. It is ridiculous. Just remember the pain of before. You have been down this path already. Don't do it again...

(((Hugs)))

***I thank my mars in Scorpio to be able to resist it and control the urge b/c my dignity is intact LOL ***

Yes, scorp woman have a nack for detaching, however I am finding out that scorp men can't do it so well. LOL!!!

No need to aplogize QS...Sometimes bluntness is what I need...

You guys are right...He is definately screwing with me..When he was up told me he was scared and sorry he hurt me, then told me he was with other people but he wasn't going to do that anymore because it was too emotional...And today he told me that he has set aside Tuesday night for dating...I didn't give him a reaction and truthfully when I got off the phone I started laughing, because the whole situation is just so stupid...

Leokitten

have this image in my mind of you HH, as this hang dog mopey girl who sees this guy and moons over him...glad to have any morsel of attention.

Have you ever seen a leo who will mope and moon over anybody, I may feel sad sometimes and perhaps show my weaknesses/confusion to people here or my friends but never to him...I have no problem telling him my feelings but I certainly don't mope over him, call him, see him (unless he comes here)...But I could see how another would think this from reading posts...

so what are you going to do about it, HH? If you aren't how LKat sees you, then what are you going to do? Sure, you got off the phone and laughed at the situation, but what action are you going to take? Are you going to move on or hope he changes his mind about you?

She's going to be a woman who is going to have fun, get out there and start again with a man who truly deserves and appreciates the love she has to offer right HH? hehehe.

This guy truly does sound very mixed up and more wishy washy than the one I know and its a viscious cycle to love one of these....having the will and determination to walk away is hard for us Leos but once we do it? OMG we're free again and THAT is a wonderful feeling.....It took me 6 months to get where I am now (blasted Leo Loyalty) but Im much stronger for the experience.

HH, I can promise you, in a few months you will have moved on, you will enjoy life without him....he's going to go on his way exactly as he has been going for a very long time...only HE can change himself, maybe he doesnt want to change, maybe he is happy being miserable....go listen to "When you're 40" sung by Dido....it sums up how it was with my Libra and I believe it'll hit home to you too!!

Good luck - I won't nag anymore LOL

Hp..I already moved on awhile ago, I am dating someone else..I think I will continue a relationship with him but only on a professional level, he is a sales Rep for my business..I will speak to him if he calls but i will not encourage it and I will not make it personal.

I think it was an initial shock to hear he had been intimate with someone else (which I think is a common feeling) I am dating but I haven't gone that route yet...But actually I feel fine now...If he had of told me that 2 months ago, I would have been devastated..

I do believe I have moved past the majority of my feelings, sometimes I think about what could have been, and who I thought he was when I met him, but the reality is that it is not and he isn't who I fell in love in..

We all get our setbacks and we all pull out of them..And to tell you the truth the more he talks his bullshit the more distance I feel...He must have some agenda in regards to me, but I don't know what it is and I don't care..I just know that he no longer has a front row seat in my life...