Libra guy.....................again

I really need to bounce this off anyone who cares to listen & respond, Men's perspective would be especially helpful.

There's a lot of background but for the sake of keeping this short, I'll ask a couple of questions & if background is needed to provide a answer then please feel free to ask.

The 1st is most simple & I think I already have the answer but I'll throw it out anyway.....
1. Why do men feel the need to lie/down play the seriousness of a past "relationship" to not only his current girlfriend but to everyone?

2. Why would this guy bring his girlfriend to my birthday celebration AFTER being asked not to come & after lying about me to her? Wouldn't he want to keep us both as far away from each other as possible?

3. and finally I've basically kept my mouth shut & not defended myself about his lies for the sake of keeping peace & not creating drama (after all, I know the truth & that's what matters!) BUT then Why does this guy feel the need to continue to call around and ask mutual friends if they've talked to me, how I am & then continue to keep up his lies & tell even more? He's basically acting dumbfounded about our whole relationship & acting as if it never happened!

I really don't know how to handle this, Keeping my mouth shut is getting harder & harder everyday. I hate to be lied on, I hate to be made a fool of & I hate to feel that I can't defend myself SO why is he doing this & how would you handle it?

Thanks so much for your time

forget him and move on....sounds pretty immature...the more you get angry and upset? the more he will take advantage of it...shrug it off to immaturity and show him you have better things to do with your life 🙂

Thanks Chatz, he's out of my life, I've cut contact. I guess I'm just always searching for answers to peoples behaviour to make things easier for me to deal with. anyway thanks for the reply 🙂

Hi CanTaur,

Look happy, ignore everything about him.
Show as if he does not exist. Wear a happy smile, he will read a happy heart inside.
And - he's gonna get his own dose of medicine. Hard to mess a happy person.

Good luck 🙂

My vote is you need to set him straight. From your post, unless you left a part out, you have never told him the following:

I would appreciate it if you discontinued all contact with me and when I say contact I am including your persistent questions to our mutual friends. I have tried to handle this situation like a mature adult however your refusal to let the situation and whatever may have happened between us go is making it extremely difficult to do so. Therefore in the interest of what is best for all parties, you, your girlfriend and myself, please move forward with your life sans me.

Or whatever you feel comfortable with. I would be diplomatic about it. I would not mention anything about hurt feelings and lies because that implies that you care which opens the door for him to increase his madness. After that I would not contact him or mention him again. If he continues to contact your mutual friends, and they mention this to you I would simply say, "I have asked (fill in his name) to cease all conversation about me and contact with me. Therefore why he is mentioning me to you is beyond me because I have no relevance to whatever is currently happening in his life."

That would be my advice...tell him once. If he continues well then he looks like the fool!

I don't think you're a dramatist...

I would suggest either of two:

Completely ignore him, no need of trying to know what he is doing, whether he enquires about u or not from common friends.

or

Confront him head-on, let me know that u r aware of his deeds and finish it off once for all.