Libra guy again. sorry

Sag girl. Libra guy. don't want to bore you with the ins and outs but we broke up over a month ago. He informed me on 3 occasions that we should break contact. I was (kinda) alright with this. But every time I start to get over him he drops by or contacts me again trying to make normal yet awkward converdation. Same happened 2 nights ago and now he wants to come over on monday. Why? For what ?

As I Sag girl I cannot do mind games or the whole "fingureing out" thing that libras seem to love.

WHAT. DOES. HE. WANT.

Posted by tiziani
Probably just wants attention.

attention that I don't want to but probably will give him 😢 And why me? He's already fond interest in another girl so I don't understand why he cannot leave me alone now ?

Posted by Sagg101
Sag girl. Libra guy. don't want to bore you with the ins and outs but we broke up over a month ago. He informed me on 3 occasions that we should break contact. I was (kinda) alright with this. But every time I start to get over him he drops by or contacts me again trying to make normal yet awkward converdation. Same happened 2 nights ago and now he wants to come over on monday. Why? For what ?

As I Sag girl I cannot do mind games or the whole "fingureing out" thing that libras seem to love.

WHAT. DOES. HE. WANT.

Maybe he isn't sure how you view him. Maybe he wants a reaction out of you (like tiz said, attention). He wants you to either dislike the idea of "taking space" or he's hoping after a couple days off you'll miss him.

You said you were kind of okay with the time off which means you're close to done anyway. Maybe he knows that and wants to fix it but don't know how (see awkward conversation).


Or maybe all this is my hopeless romanticism and he just a jerk playing games. Those boring details you mentioned should help you see which he is.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by Sagg101
Sag girl. Libra guy. don't want to bore you with the ins and outs but we broke up over a month ago. He informed me on 3 occasions that we should break contact. I was (kinda) alright with this. But every time I start to get over him he drops by or contacts me again trying to make normal yet awkward converdation. Same happened 2 nights ago and now he wants to come over on monday. Why? For what ?

As I Sag girl I cannot do mind games or the whole "fingureing out" thing that libras seem to love.

WHAT. DOES. HE. WANT.

Maybe he isn't sure how you view him. Maybe he wants a reaction out of you (like tiz said, attention). He wants you to either dislike the idea of "taking space" or he's hoping after a couple days off you'll miss him.

You said you were kind of okay with the time off which means you're close to done anyway. Maybe he knows that and wants to fix it but don't know how (see awkward conversation).


Or maybe all this is my hopeless romanticism and he just a jerk playing games. Those boring details you mentioned should help you see which he is.

click to expand

He confused the hell out of me. When we broke up he was so set on us remaining good friends. He said I was the first friend he ever had. Told me this same story 3 times in a row. I called him out of the blue a few weeks after and he said quote " you're in the past and that's where you are staying" he laughed. I giggled. Hung up and cried. After that I thought I'd cut him out for good. I don't need that in my life thanks. I do miss him but am I going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that? NO.

I had to be okay with that otherwise I would self destruct.

Posted by Sagg101

Posted by tiziani
Probably just wants attention.

attention that I don't want to but probably will give him 😢 And why me? He's already fond interest in another girl so I don't understand why he cannot leave me alone now ?

click to expand

Oh...

Okay.


So he is just playing games with you?

He got another girl, and you know it, but let it slide.

He says to take time off, then shows up a few nights later.



He won't leave you alone now because you don't make him. If you don't want to give him attention, don't. That's it. It is your choice. If you allow his behavior to continue, it will.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by Sagg101
Sag girl. Libra guy. don't want to bore you with the ins and outs but we broke up over a month ago. He informed me on 3 occasions that we should break contact. I was (kinda) alright with this. But every time I start to get over him he drops by or contacts me again trying to make normal yet awkward converdation. Same happened 2 nights ago and now he wants to come over on monday. Why? For what ?

As I Sag girl I cannot do mind games or the whole "fingureing out" thing that libras seem to love.

WHAT. DOES. HE. WANT.

Maybe he isn't sure how you view him. Maybe he wants a reaction out of you (like tiz said, attention). He wants you to either dislike the idea of "taking space" or he's hoping after a couple days off you'll miss him.

You said you were kind of okay with the time off which means you're close to done anyway. Maybe he knows that and wants to fix it but don't know how (see awkward conversation).


Or maybe all this is my hopeless romanticism and he just a jerk playing games. Those boring details you mentioned should help you see which he is.

click to expand

Deep inside i wasn't okay but i wasn't going to let that show. I hate appearing weak and vulnerable. Now I don't even know how to act or what to be when he comes over on Monday

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by Sagg101

Posted by tiziani
Probably just wants attention.

attention that I don't want to but probably will give him 😢 And why me? He's already fond interest in another girl so I don't understand why he cannot leave me alone now ?

Oh...

Okay.


So he is just playing games with you?

He got another girl, and you know it, but let it slide.

He says to take time off, then shows up a few nights later.



He won't leave you alone now because you don't make him. If you don't want to give him attention, don't. That's it. It is your choice. If you allow his behavior to continue, it will.

click to expand

Who knows anymore I cannot figure this guy out. I'm 99% sure he does. I know he met a taurus girl whilst we were still together and I know for sure they are in heavy contact but anything else i'm unsure of.

It wasn't a few nights, a month and a bit I'd say.

I don't want to give him the attention but I know I'll cave because he was so beautiful to me and I still miss him so much. it's like I know what the right thing to do is but my impulsiveness ill drive me back to wanting him all over again

sigh, the woes of being a sag girl with little self control xD I wish I was strong like the rest of you guys !

Why is he coming over on monday? Didn't he laugh at you and say you were his past and we're staying there?

You tell someone like that "Fine, enjoy your future without me in it".

If you still have feeling for this dude you should not be trying a friendship. You shouldn't be with this guy anyway, but friends where one wants more (or can't let go) is a bad idea.

Posted by LibraSid
Why is he coming over on monday? Didn't he laugh at you and say you were his past and we're staying there?

You tell someone like that "Fine, enjoy your future without me in it".

If you still have feeling for this dude you should not be trying a friendship. You shouldn't be with this guy anyway, but friends where one wants more (or can't let go) is a bad idea.

haha that is exactly what I want to tell him! Think I will actually 🙂

I don't want a friendship with him right now. Hence the reason I've tried to cut him out and remove him from all social networks. He said he was slightly offended by this but I just told him he should have seen it coming with all the bull he said to me after we broke up.

Posted by tiziani
You're making your own problems really. I don't mean to tell you anything you already know but you know, the decision isn't what to do on Monday. The decision was whether to agree to meet him on Monday or not. And you made that decision.

I probably am I cant lie. I'm only agreeing to meet him on Monday to see what he has to say.

Also he has a few items of clothing to collect but it's nothing that cannot be delivered.

Oops, was just trying to bold your quoted part.

Posted by Sagg101

Posted by LibraSid
Why is he coming over on monday? Didn't he laugh at you and say you were his past and we're staying there?

You tell someone like that "Fine, enjoy your future without me in it".

If you still have feeling for this dude you should not be trying a friendship. You shouldn't be with this guy anyway, but friends where one wants more (or can't let go) is a bad idea.

haha that is exactly what I want to tell him! Think I will actually 🙂

I don't want a friendship with him right now. Hence the reason I've tried to cut him out and remove him from all social networks. He said he was slightly offended by this but I just told him he should have seen it coming with all the bull he said to me after we broke up.

click to expand

I had to with my ex. If you're trying to be nice and keep doors open some people will take advantage.

Look, this guy made his choice. You are his past. Who cares what else he has to say? The rest is just gonna be lies to manipulate you anyway. He's already said there is no future here.

Posted by LibraSid
sigh, the woes of being a sag girl with little self control xD I wish I was strong like the rest of you guys !

That's a horrible thing to teach yourself. Self control is your choice. Everyone has self control, you choose to use it or not.

How many times have you punched (slapping and clawing are close enough) your boss in the face? How many times has that idea flown through your mind?

See everyone has self control. Claiming not to is simply a method of passing blame off yourself.

aha I see what you mean and I'm going to take that statement away with me. Although I've only slapped certain people in my mind and that has been satisfying enough to me !

So this is the conclusion i've come up with so far since talking to you wonderful people

1. Too see or not to see him: I know for sure I'll be seeing him on Monday without a doubt. I have a few things I need to give back to him and I'd like to see what he has to say. He did some stupid bull whilst we were together and I feel as though I'm owed some sort of apology. Not that I'm expecting one.

2. I could either hand him the stuff and walk away and ask him not to bother me again or I could see if a friendship is possible. I could let the conversation flow and see how my feelings are by the end of it. Although the relationship is 100% we had a tight solid friendship that I had with no one else and I missed this most.

3. For the love of god I just hope I don't jump on top of him. I'll keep ya'll updated 🙂

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by Sagg101

Posted by LibraSid
Why is he coming over on monday? Didn't he laugh at you and say you were his past and we're staying there?

You tell someone like that "Fine, enjoy your future without me in it".

If you still have feeling for this dude you should not be trying a friendship. You shouldn't be with this guy anyway, but friends where one wants more (or can't let go) is a bad idea.

haha that is exactly what I want to tell him! Think I will actually 🙂

I don't want a friendship with him right now. Hence the reason I've tried to cut him out and remove him from all social networks. He said he was slightly offended by this but I just told him he should have seen it coming with all the bull he said to me after we broke up.

I had to with my ex. If you're trying to be nice and keep doors open some people will take advantage.

Look, this guy made his choice. You are his past. Who cares what else he has to say? The rest is just gonna be lies to manipulate you anyway. He's already said there is no future here.

click to expand

And if he insists of some form of future what then ? Because I know he was so set on staying friends with me.I'll clarify this with him on Monday but I'm 80% sure I can't cope with his manipulating ways so a dead end is most probable

Posted by Sagg101

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by Sagg101

Posted by LibraSid
Why is he coming over on monday? Didn't he laugh at you and say you were his past and we're staying there?

You tell someone like that "Fine, enjoy your future without me in it".

If you still have feeling for this dude you should not be trying a friendship. You shouldn't be with this guy anyway, but friends where one wants more (or can't let go) is a bad idea.

haha that is exactly what I want to tell him! Think I will actually 🙂

I don't want a friendship with him right now. Hence the reason I've tried to cut him out and remove him from all social networks. He said he was slightly offended by this but I just told him he should have seen it coming with all the bull he said to me after we broke up.

I had to with my ex. If you're trying to be nice and keep doors open some people will take advantage.

Look, this guy made his choice. You are his past. Who cares what else he has to say? The rest is just gonna be lies to manipulate you anyway. He's already said there is no future here.

And if he insists of some form of future what then ? Because I know he was so set on staying friends with me.I'll clarify this with him on Monday but I'm 80% sure I can't cope with his manipulating ways so a dead end is most probable

click to expand

That decision is 50% yours. There is no future anything unless you both agree. Either of you can refuse at any point. He controls him. You control you.

My ex wife called me every name in the book when I told her I did not want to maintain a friendship. She made arguments, some of them made me question myself. She just couldn't understand me letting go after all these years. She said the marriage failed but we could still be there for each other, etc,etc.

I tried. I wasn't ready. I still saw her as my wife. I allowed her to manipulate me for months (years?). You are allowing him to do the same...or at least heading down that road.

As for the explanations you feel you are owed. Let it go. Every person is able to make their own choices. Many people will do things that, even if explained, you never understand.

I guess with no background what I just said may sound really bad haha. My wife had cheated and left me and the kids, then still wanted a friendship. There was a betrayal and trust was destroyed. I have no interest in maintaining a friendship with someone I can't trust.

Posted by LibraSid
My ex wife called me every name in the book when I told her I did not want to maintain a friendship. She made arguments, some of them made me question myself. She just couldn't understand me letting go after all these years. She said the marriage failed but we could still be there for each other, etc,etc.

I tried. I wasn't ready. I still saw her as my wife. I allowed her to manipulate me for months (years?). You are allowing him to do the same...or at least heading down that road.

As for the explanations you feel you are owed. Let it go. Every person is able to make their own choices. Many people will do things that, even if explained, you never understand.

Do you reckon HE'S ready for the friendship? Because if this is the case I don't think I am and in complete honesty once I forget someone I forget them for good so I think it's time to tell him that there probably will be no friendship after this. Also, I hope you don't mind me asking but what are your signs ?

I don't want us to close ties on bad terms. I don't want to fight with him . I just want to let him know that I probably want nothing more to do with him so he shouldn't stop with the contacting

No!! you're not trying to cut him off..you're playing the same game as he is. I think you both LOVE drama, so keep on playing with fire, and one of you is going to get BURNT really bad emotionally.This is just foolishness. Cut your losses and move on. You're giving this clown too much power over your emotions and he's know this. He's a Libra for godsake! Trust me, I know. It's the infamous charm game he's running on you. He keeps coming back because...#1..you allow it, and #2...because he knows he can. Let it go for your own sanity.

Posted by LIb4Life
No!! you're not trying to cut him off..you're playing the same game as he is. I think you both LOVE drama, so keep on playing with fire, and one of you is going to get BURNT really bad emotionally.This is just foolishness. Cut your losses and move on. You're giving this clown too much power over your emotions and he's know this. He's a Libra for godsake! Trust me, I know. It's the infamous charm game he's running on you. He keeps coming back because...#1..you allow it, and #2...because he knows he can. Let it go for your own sanity.

cut my losses and move on? I have / I'm trying but he just keeps walking in and out. Im moving away this summer so I won't be seeing much more of him. You think him coming over on Monday is a bad idea ?

Posted by LIb4Life
No!! you're not trying to cut him off..you're playing the same game as he is. I think you both LOVE drama, so keep on playing with fire, and one of you is going to get BURNT really bad emotionally.This is just foolishness. Cut your losses and move on. You're giving this clown too much power over your emotions and he's know this. He's a Libra for godsake! Trust me, I know. It's the infamous charm game he's running on you. He keeps coming back because...#1..you allow it, and #2...because he knows he can. Let it go for your own sanity.

what makes you say we are playing the same emotional game? I have no intention of letting him back into my life.

Posted by Sagg101

Posted by LIb4Life
No!! you're not trying to cut him off..you're playing the same game as he is. I think you both LOVE drama, so keep on playing with fire, and one of you is going to get BURNT really bad emotionally.This is just foolishness. Cut your losses and move on. You're giving this clown too much power over your emotions and he's know this. He's a Libra for godsake! Trust me, I know. It's the infamous charm game he's running on you. He keeps coming back because...#1..you allow it, and #2...because he knows he can. Let it go for your own sanity.

what makes you say we are playing the same emotional game? I have no intention of letting him back into my life.

click to expand

But you have no intention of stopping him either.

Posted by Sagg101
Sag girl. Libra guy. don't want to bore you with the ins and outs but we broke up over a month ago. He informed me on 3 occasions that we should break contact. I was (kinda) alright with this. But every time I start to get over him he drops by or contacts me again trying to make normal yet awkward converdation. Same happened 2 nights ago and now he wants to come over on monday. Why? For what ?

As I Sag girl I cannot do mind games or the whole "fingureing out" thing that libras seem to love.

WHAT. DOES. HE. WANT.

HE. DOESN'T. KNOW.

That's why he's confusing you and being rather selfish, here.

"Hay let's break up, go no contact, but I change my mind all the time about that." And drags you through his emotional wtfery along the way.

I know it's confusing and will leave you wondering- been there a few times myself with these guys. Eventually, you start to see it for what it is- an immature dude that has no idea wtf to do with himself or how to handle his emotions, and you stop giving an eff.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by Sagg101

Posted by LIb4Life
No!! you're not trying to cut him off..you're playing the same game as he is. I think you both LOVE drama, so keep on playing with fire, and one of you is going to get BURNT really bad emotionally.This is just foolishness. Cut your losses and move on. You're giving this clown too much power over your emotions and he's know this. He's a Libra for godsake! Trust me, I know. It's the infamous charm game he's running on you. He keeps coming back because...#1..you allow it, and #2...because he knows he can. Let it go for your own sanity.

what makes you say we are playing the same emotional game? I have no intention of letting him back into my life.

But you have no intention of stopping him either.

click to expand

... you sir have left me speechless 🙂

very well then, should I NOT see him on Monday? I don't really see that as letting him back into my life however ?

Posted by Sagg101

Posted by LibraSid
My ex wife called me every name in the book when I told her I did not want to maintain a friendship. She made arguments, some of them made me question myself. She just couldn't understand me letting go after all these years. She said the marriage failed but we could still be there for each other, etc,etc.

I tried. I wasn't ready. I still saw her as my wife. I allowed her to manipulate me for months (years?). You are allowing him to do the same...or at least heading down that road.

As for the explanations you feel you are owed. Let it go. Every person is able to make their own choices. Many people will do things that, even if explained, you never understand.

Do you reckon HE'S ready for the friendship? Because if this is the case I don't think I am and in complete honesty once I forget someone I forget them for good so I think it's time to tell him that there probably will be no friendship after this. Also, I hope you don't mind me asking but what are your signs ?

I don't want us to close ties on bad terms. I don't want to fight with him . I just want to let him know that I probably want nothing more to do with him so he shouldn't stop with the contacting

click to expand

Neither of you are ready for friendship. It's only been freaking 2 months and neither of you have participated in a no contact situation. You need time away from eachother to sort through feelings and get over all the emotional crap that comes with a break up.

Once both of you get past that, THEN you can revisit the idea of being friends.

Both of you are acting pretty stupid here. He's being a fool and you're entertaining it because your sag bit loves the attention.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Sagg101

Posted by LibraSid
My ex wife called me every name in the book when I told her I did not want to maintain a friendship. She made arguments, some of them made me question myself. She just couldn't understand me letting go after all these years. She said the marriage failed but we could still be there for each other, etc,etc.

I tried. I wasn't ready. I still saw her as my wife. I allowed her to manipulate me for months (years?). You are allowing him to do the same...or at least heading down that road.

As for the explanations you feel you are owed. Let it go. Every person is able to make their own choices. Many people will do things that, even if explained, you never understand.

Do you reckon HE'S ready for the friendship? Because if this is the case I don't think I am and in complete honesty once I forget someone I forget them for good so I think it's time to tell him that there probably will be no friendship after this. Also, I hope you don't mind me asking but what are your signs ?

I don't want us to close ties on bad terms. I don't want to fight with him . I just want to let him know that I probably want nothing more to do with him so he shouldn't stop with the contacting

Neither of you are ready for friendship. It's only been freaking 2 months and neither of you have participated in a no contact situation. You need time away from eachother to sort through feelings and get over all the emotional crap that comes with a break up.

Once both of you get past that, THEN you can revisit the idea of being friends.

Both of you are acting pretty stupid here. He's being a fool and you're entertaining it because your sag bit loves the attention.

click to expand

how rude.
I don't quite understand what I've done wrong in this case ? I've kept my distance. I haven't communicated since. HE'S the one that attempted communication ON 3 OCCASIONS.

and i've cut him out ever since

how am I the one being stupid please ?

Posted by Sagg101

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by Sagg101

Posted by LIb4Life
No!! you're not trying to cut him off..you're playing the same game as he is. I think you both LOVE drama, so keep on playing with fire, and one of you is going to get BURNT really bad emotionally.This is just foolishness. Cut your losses and move on. You're giving this clown too much power over your emotions and he's know this. He's a Libra for godsake! Trust me, I know. It's the infamous charm game he's running on you. He keeps coming back because...#1..you allow it, and #2...because he knows he can. Let it go for your own sanity.

what makes you say we are playing the same emotional game? I have no intention of letting him back into my life.

But you have no intention of stopping him either.

... you sir have left me speechless 🙂

very well then, should I NOT see him on Monday? I don't really see that as letting him back into my life however ?

click to expand

You have stuff you gotta give back. That's fine. That isn't letting him back in.

Going there and giving him control, by pretending you don't have any, is a problem.

Going in hoping for closure or needing a "why" answered is a problem.



When you allow games to be played, you become a player. By allowing him to come and go you are encouraging this behavior. Yes, you are being wishy washy too. If you tell him no more, then jump his bones when you see him...why should he act right?

Set your boundaries.

What are you okay with?
How do you demand to be treated?

I don't want someone who doesn't want to be with me. No matter how good it used to be, or I think it should be...

Posted by Sagg101

how rude.
I don't quite understand what I've done wrong in this case ? I've kept my distance. I haven't communicated since. HE'S the one that attempted communication ON 3 OCCASIONS.

and i've cut him out ever since

how am I the one being stupid please ?

Rude is you coming here, asking for advice, when you aren't even trying on your part.

Are you allowing him to come over on Monday?

You're the one who entertains his bullshit. If he's getting in touch with you after supposedly not wanting contact, why are you responding to him?

Simple solution to the situation. Are you ready? It's kind of hard, so listen carefully-

If he contacts you, your response should be silence. If he texts or calls, you don't respond. If he asks to come over, you say no. ...But it shouldn't even go that far because you aren't answering him to begin with, right?

You're enabling his ridiculousness here, so yes you are equally at fault as he is.

IF, from this point on, you are indeed "cutting him out" as you say, then we shouldn't be hearing anything about it in regard to your confusion from here on out. If he contacts you, you're not answering, right? He shouldn't even have a chance to have the audacity to ask if he can come over.

Your problem is that you got stuck in the immature Libra male cycle of indecisiveness, and they're going to drag you along until they finally reach a decision, which ultimately ends in a lot of heartache for you. Do yourself a favor and start treating the situation accordingly. When you enable an immature individual like this, it just brings unnecessary issues to your life.

Remember, someone who states that they want x,y,z from you, then turn around and pull a whole lot of confusing shit, going back on what they say, are emotionally selfish individuals.

Neither of you are ready for friendship. It's only been freaking 2 months and neither of you have participated in a no contact situation. You need time away from eachother to sort through feelings and get over all the emotional crap that comes with a break up.
Once both of you get past that, THEN you can revisit the idea of being friends.
Both of you are acting pretty stupid here. He's being a fool and you're entertaining it because your sag bit loves the attention.


****************************************************************************************************
how rude.
I don't quite understand what I've done wrong in this case ? I've kept my distance. I haven't communicated since. HE'S the one that attempted communication ON 3 OCCASIONS.
and i've cut him out ever since how am I the one being stupid please ?


**************************************************************************************************
I don't think she's calling you stupid??..lol...but both of your actions are stupid, and NO..do not allow him to come over on Monday!! Look.. I know it's easier said than done, but if you've truly moved on emotionally, then there is no reason to keep eating your vomit. "Rockyroadicecream is 100% accurate..there is no way that you guys are ready to be any type of friends. It's gonna take months.
Maybe even a year or so to be comfortable with that thought.