Libran friend has become distant

Libran friend and I have a bit of a past. I am hopelessly in love with him, he's not interested. He's known for nearly a year how I've felt about him, but we'd agreed to stay friends. On a couple of occassions I've asked for 'permission' to pull back, and he's said no, that I mean a lot to him etc etc.

I went away with him on the weekend. Met his entire family (lovely, lovely!) A discussion we had indicated that I wasn't over him and in fact feel more for him than he'd realised. He explained he wanted me as a friend, but understood now why I felt the need to back away, and that if I needed to, I had his 'permission'.

Now I feel he's pulled away. I've contacted him a few times since we got home and he's been abrupt and to the point. Would it be because he never understood the depth of my feelings? Can we be close again? I wonder.

"i dont know what other libra may or may not feel the same, buy here goes....when someone feels more for me than me for them....i pull away; when someone pulls away from me, i look at it as they just dont care that much about me anyway...so i pull away."

Spot on. You beat me to it.

BTW, who is he to think you need his permission to pull away. It isn't fair that he knows you like him this way and tries to control when you can and cannot pull away. Bad business. Let him go, because you will be burned in the end. I know you want to be his friend and waant him in your life wether he is your lover or just a friend but as long as there is that emotional feeling you still have for him, you can't honestly only be his friend.

Let him go...

He probably didn't realize you felt as strongly as you do. He probably
thought you had a bit of a crush on him but in time would get over it, not
that you were "hopelessly in love" with him. I have a feeling he never even
suspected that you were as upset or hurting as much as you are.

He is pulling back because he wants you to get over your feelings for him.

You can be friends again ... but in the future. Maybe 6-8 from now but only if you are over these romantic feelings for him. the friendship love will never die. Even if you look him up when you are 90, it will be like you never left each other's side but you need to release the romantic side of your feelings.

Thank you all for this advice. Because I've realised I truly love him, rather than simply have a crush on him, I'm not always doing the best things for me. I go away with him, accept all his invitations to dinners or movies or whatever. I want to be around him, but every time I see him, there's a small part of me that hurts. So when I say "I need to spend less time with you" and he says "no don't. We're good friends and I'd miss you" I take that as 'permission'. I know I don't need his 'permission' to back away, but when he says he'd prefer I didn't, I don't. Now it seems he's made the decision for me!

He basically pulled away from you because he isn't ready to be what you want him to be to you. He told you once that he wasn't interested/ready for that and you guys agreed to be friends. After a year, you still have the same feelings for him and he could possibly see that this is only going to hurt you further if he doesn't pull away. He values your friendship but just isn't capable or willing to be more.

One thing that concerns me is the fact you are asking permission for you to let him go. He doesn't control that; you do.

gemini is not sure about anything and keeps playing the libra. I would say its all your fault. One time you try to get away from him, he sense some instability. That will grow and make things bad if you dont make it a point to discuss it and reason yourself out and confess.

that is very narrow minded to place all the blame on her.

(( that is very narrow minded to place all the blame on her. ))

You seriously have no idea how gemini plays and blame everything on others. I have been breaking my head over another gemini member who asked me to help her chase her libra bcoz she dont trust herself. When they really like someone, they behave as if they hate them. They are so scared to get into a serious relationship and try to run away every time the other person gets serious or emotional. Its always a cat and mouse game for gemini.

I highly doubt that is what happened libran. Sometimes people like people who don't feel the same. Unrequited loved. I have no idea why everyone assumes every attraction is mutual.

"Ninety-nine percent of the world's lovers are not with their first choice. That's what makes the jukebox play." - Willie Nelson

ah, Willie. I share a bday with him and a hometown.

***gemini is not sure about anything and keeps playing the libra. I would say its all your fault. One time you try to get away from him, he sense some instability. That will grow and make things bad if you dont make it a point to discuss it and reason yourself out and confess.***

Uhhh, what? Did you read her post? Exactly how is this her fault?

thelibran, unless you are suggesting that is her fault for allowing herself to go through this agony of emotions about a man who has told her he wasn't ready/didn't want a relationship, then I am confused.

wat u mean by agony qs? she loves someone and he said he is not ready for a marriage. if she really likes him, she gotta stay with him irrespective of whatever word is used to define their relationship. If she is looking for someone to marry her so she can label herself as a 'wife' am sure she can find so many men around.

May be he dont like her at all. But then you wont find a libra saying 'no' when she asked for his permission to pull away. He do likes her. but not sure about certain things. Answer to that is her behavior. If you can find a gem girl who can explain to you some situation exactly as it has happened, I would really love to meet her. They simply cannot. Their side of story is always painted with their imagination where they are the angel. And they hv short term memory loss. She wont even remember the exact words which he might have told her.

* ah, Willie. I share a bday with him and a hometown.

I heart him. I went as him for Halloween.

(sorry completely off topic yet still important! lol!)

thelibran

You have her post mixed up with thinktank.

(I hid the last post as I wanted to add to this. Sorry!)

Hi everyone.

Thanks to all for 'defending' me and my post.

TheLibran - I've always had really good advice from you in the past... but you are wrong in this situation. I admit I do normally/often 'run' when I like a guy, but this time I realised the extent of my feelings and have chased Libran head first. He is one of my closest friends, but we've never even kissed, let alone talked marriage. I would marry him tomorrow though (I actually proposed to him on Feb 29 and told him I was doing it half in jest and half seriously).

The truth is, I've chased him more than I've ever chased a man before. And he's been chased more than he's ever been chased before. Part of him likes it, but he doesn't think we'd be a good match. I do think we would, and I think he's scared (he's been single for years). But I have to respect his wishes and not chase him, so I gave up on that last year. But a small part of me wishes he would be interested, and another small part of me thinks being his friend is too difficult. However, I do love him as a friend, too, and I don't know if I want to give up on our friendship.

So yes, in a way I'm being indecisive. I want to be with the man forever, but that's not my choice. In the absence of that, I can have friendship, which sometimes hurts me, or nothing... which would hurt me. I tend to pick friendship, but from time to time, I struggle with that.

I've been married before, and prior to that I was in a 9 year relationship... but I've never felt as strongly for a man as I have for the Libran. It doesn't scare me, just saddens me that he doesn't feel the same way.

This Gemini admits: Geminis often don't allow themselves to FEEL. I am surprised by the extent of my feelings. But falling in love with him has changed me, and has allowed me to feel in so many other areas. They say people come into your life for a reason, and he's come into mine for a reason. So if that's all I walk away with from my friendship with him, I guess that's good. I'm not used to feeling so much for a person. I used to prefer relationships where the guy felt more for me, but this is completely the reverse. It feels wonderful and difficult to be so much in love. That's Librans for you! :-)

Thanks for the feedback though :-)

((thelibran

You have her post mixed up with thinktank.))

hmmm... looks so... now i remember gem16's older posts.

May be u shud kiss him with or without his permission before u spend all these hours thinking how to sort it out. and dont run away after u kiss him.

Thanks, TheLibran. Sorry that I confused you :-)

it was my fault. I was replying two diff people at the same time. Plus i took you for a new gemini with the same complaint. I have come to a stage where when a gemini says something about a libra not being caring, I dont buy it anymore.

Ahh, no worries at all. I see where the confusion came from. I think Librans are the greatest, so you probably won't find me complaining about them 😉

How do Gemini male and Libra woman get along in a relationship? Can it last?