libras and exs

Everyone know me by now. I want to say first before i go into another detail about my current libra. I want to acknowledge im accountable for my own actions. I play a big part in this. I need to learn my self worth and learn to walk away. Im 99 percent to blame. So recently I've mentioned im dating not in a rel with a libra. We r going on 1 year. I have an issue with the ex because of how they present them. Im not a jelaous person but when i tried communciating this to my libra they shut down and turn it on me like im being jealous etc. I saw the red flags back in april about this ex. My partner said they r good friends now. I asked how long ago they broke up...they didnt say..in july this ex stalked thrm and hit them due to lover spat and feelings. I asked once again whats up with that. Yes we just dating but im not trying to get in no bs with u and ur ex feelings invovled and ur ex who u claim is a friend more signs is coming out she still likes u. I let it go...now here we r in dec. Almost 1 year later my partner and ex so called friend are arguing alot and my partner slip up said hey she wants me but i dont want her. Idk its alot of things with this libra as u can read from my other posts about reciprocity, communciating now this ex. I understand libras love being friends with ex thats no problem but am i wrong for expressing to my libra hey we just dating but i feel u putting this ex on a platter. And i feel this is the reasons we havent progressed after a year. I feel this libra may lose me im at my breaking point. I want this to work but i feel the breakup was recent before we met. The ex still calls them babe etc etc...whrn i bring this up its like shhhh u cant tell me that because we just dating and me my ex will always be friends. Idk what to do or think. There going to wake up and im going to ignore them...this is so much drama and yes its my fault because i allow it

Why cant they mutually let go ex. And make me feel wanted? Ive tried communciating tbis already which is why im here. Then when i say they dont care thry get mad too. I dont understand of ur just friends why allow this ex to act like more than that...wouldn't that turn potential daters off?

Its like they feel ok with talking about the ex i stop bringing it up because they got mad at me saying im tripping so i just listen. Why ks this ex stalking u. Why is it ok to bwr money from eachother cook food for eachother hang out. Them call u babe, the ex mention being with u etc. Im kust keeping calm........jesus

Its a woman does that still count? @libralula im working on myself and strength when i care it so hard to walk away from ppl u care. Its so many red flags right now and they dont communciating well so its like i ha e to have tough skin and not let it bother me. Then when i speak out about it they get mad because where just dating......going on year . I said the ex is too comfortable and they said hey this person always be here. I feel if they communciate better and treat me better I would understand. But everything is so one sided and this ex is in pic's makes it harder for me like idk...it shouldn't take someone a year, they should make u comfortable thing's should b clear. If i cut them off should i tell them why or just walk away quietly i dont want any issues

Yeap your so right @sugarfoot

Posted by blackphase
I am extremely confused.. :/ I thought you were the one in a relationship and it was your ex that was lingering around? Sleeping on your couch, treating you poorly and needing financial assistance? So your s/o's ex is in the picture as well? Sorry I am just very confused :/

I am in a relationship with a Libra as well and I can relate to the being called insecure and jealous and them getting upset at that sort of behavior, however they give you legitimate reason to feel that way then get pissed when you do. I know how tough that is to deal with 😢

Says the Gemini. LOL

@blackphase i posted that to see what others thought about the scenario because its akways 3 sides to a story. So maybe i was wrong for thinking that way so i switched it around. The real story is they r the one with the ex and we were talking last week th3 ex having major issues but they say hey this is my friend we will always be cool etc. They said if they need anything financially or couch sleep on that I would have to just understand. We r dating for year not rel...so i said nothing about it i just listened to them. Because every time i day anything abkut this ex in picture they look at me with a side eye

Im very understanding so before i cut ppl off i like to see their side perspective and not come from a place where its my ego or being jelaous im not at all....then last night i made this post because as i said this ex has been coming up too mjch lately shes having major issues i feel like they both have unresolved feelings i just need to remove myself. Despite the ex in picture the rel between me my libra is one sided anyway....not like im losing anything they would be losing @blackphase i do care 4 them though i just need to walk away for now

...why are you referring to your Libra as "they?" If you're gay, nobody cares. If you aren't, then I don't see the need to give a gender neutral designation to the person you're seeing. Just weird, and it made it kind of hard to follow your OP, tbh.

In regard to your OP, this dude has no respect for your boundaries. That's some bs right there. He's getting off on the extra attention from the ex and he may not be entirely over her, tbh.

..I'm assuming he's a he, that is.

@rockyroadicecream im a woman and "they" is a woman too. I keep it neutral to get neutral responses etc don't read too deep into the they part. I hear u i dont think they are either

Don't trust libra women gay or not. They have difficulty letting go of exes. If they see them or they talk a lot about how "bad" they treated them don't believe it. They are secretly hoping they'd come back.

Yes @bluesabbath and we r just dating but now after a year its too much. Helping the ex, being emotionally tied to this ex meaning shes currently having issues and my partner was depressed because the girl was being mean to her im like ok thats ur ex....dont lose sleep over it..and when i question them about whats going on they turn it on me like im not supposed to ask because we just dating. I posted this to see whats really going on because i know ppl can genuinely be cool with ex...but libra have hard time letting go. She claims the ex wants her back but she dont want her so idk...all i know is respect me i dont care who ur ex is if she a friend stay in a friend lane

Im going take sugarfoot advise just walk away after a year if i were that important we would be in a rel. I wouldnt be on dxp confused loll it would be clear u know

Posted by lovely77
@rockyroadicecream im a woman and "they" is a woman too. I keep it neutral to get neutral responses etc don't read too deep into the they part. I hear u i dont think they are either

I wasn't reading into anything. It just sounded like you had something to hide when you obviously don't. Also, it's silly to think that keeping gender neutral will get you "neutral" responses.

Posted by BlueSabbath
Don't trust libra women gay or not. They have difficulty letting go of exes. If they see them or they talk a lot about how "bad" they treated them don't believe it. They are secretly hoping they'd come back.

It makes them feel wanted. Libra women are notorious for letting that insecurity ruin them.

Ok cool @rockyroadicecream how do they let insecurity ruin them?

Posted by rockyroadicecream
.

In regard to your OP, this dude has no respect for your boundaries. That's some bs right there. He's getting off on the extra attention from the ex and he may not be entirely over her, tbh.

..I'm assuming he's a he, that is.

+1.

It's good to be back to my 2nd home on dxp: the libra board. Haven't come around here for a while.

Posted by lovely77
Ok cool @rockyroadicecream how do they let insecurity ruin them?

..look at your example. She's all caught up in getting the attention of an ex while dating you. Insecurity = attention whoredom in some individuals. So because she's so caught up in all this attention seeking bs, she's ruined a new relationship because she can't let go of this other chick and gets off on the attention she gets from her.

Insecurity in some individuals also causes paranoia that the S.O. will cheat on them. It happened with a Gem friend of mine. She destroyed her marriage because she was so insecure she was just SURE her husband was going to cheat on her, so she would go through his phone, make up crazy stories about how he's being "suspicious" because he dared talk to women that weren't her (coworkers, teammates, mutual friends), etc. The reality was- he wasn't. He was playing some nerdy comic game on his phone, he had to talk to teammates about related stuff, coworkers about work related stuff, and mutual friends who were just that- friends.

Insecure people also go around ruining their friendships with shit like this too.

Basically, insecure people who don't keep shit in check ruin all sorts of relationships in their lives. They're absolutely neurotic.

Wow thats deep i get it now. Thanks for the advise @rockyroadicecream

Posted by lovely77
Everyone know me by now. I want to say first before i go into another detail about my current libra. I want to acknowledge im accountable for my own actions. I play a big part in this. I need to learn my self worth and learn to walk away. Im 99 percent to blame. So recently I've mentioned im dating not in a rel with a libra. We r going on 1 year. I have an issue with the ex because of how they present them. Im not a jelaous person but when i tried communciating this to my libra they shut down and turn it on me like im being jealous etc. I saw the red flags back in april about this ex. My partner said they r good friends now. I asked how long ago they broke up...they didnt say..in july this ex stalked thrm and hit them due to lover spat and feelings. I asked once again whats up with that. Yes we just dating but im not trying to get in no bs with u and ur ex feelings invovled and ur ex who u claim is a friend more signs is coming out she still likes u. I let it go...now here we r in dec. Almost 1 year later my partner and ex so called friend are arguing alot and my partner slip up said hey she wants me but i dont want her. Idk its alot of things with this libra as u can read from my other posts about reciprocity, communciating now this ex. I understand libras love being friends with ex thats no problem but am i wrong for expressing to my libra hey we just dating but i feel u putting this ex on a platter. And i feel this is the reasons we havent progressed after a year. I feel this libra may lose me im at my breaking point. I want this to work but i feel the breakup was recent before we met. The ex still calls them babe etc etc...whrn i bring this up its like shhhh u cant tell me that because we just dating and me my ex will always be friends. Idk what to do or think. There going to wake up and im going to ignore them...this is so much drama and yes its my fault because i allow it

You're dating an immature and unevolved libra. I would leave him if I was you

Posted by Sugarfoot
Ok so she's probably thinking she's got you wrapped around her little finger. She thinks regardless of what you say, she can have you if she wants you. This is because of how you are in the relationship. You want her to choose. But, technically she is single, so she doesn't have to choose. She is right. You've tried talking and trying to persuade her to do things your way isn't working.

If I were you, I'd just leave her alone. I mean completely. No contact. I'd just tell her that you don't want the same things. No need in saying anything more. She should already know what you want by now.


I'd do this for 2 reasons.

1) Give her the freedom to make her own choices without any pressure or guilt tripping from you. This way if she decides she wants to be in a real relationship with you and comes back, you will both know it's because she really wants to be there with you. She's not just there because you're pushing it.

2) I can only speak for myself but sometimes I need to be away from a person to know how I truly feel about them. A break kind of clarifies my feelings for them and allows me to see a person from all angles and how they fit into my life (or how they don't fit). If I'm missing them terribly and keep missing them, that tells me something. If they go away and I'm just like...meh, then that tells me something too.

This is the only way she will be forced to choose and you'll know one way or another how she really feels finally.

If she chooses you, it'll be up to you to be with her or not. You can set the terms of the relationship at that point. If she doesn't want to do things in a way that you feel comfortable, then she can kick rocks.

Perfect and well rounded answer sugar foot. +1000!

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by lovely77
Ok cool @rockyroadicecream how do they let insecurity ruin them?

..look at your example. She's all caught up in getting the attention of an ex while dating you. Insecurity = attention whoredom in some individuals. So because she's so caught up in all this attention seeking bs, she's ruined a new relationship because she can't let go of this other chick and gets off on the attention she gets from her.

Insecurity in some individuals also causes paranoia that the S.O. will cheat on them. It happened with a Gem friend of mine. She destroyed her marriage because she was so insecure she was just SURE her husband was going to cheat on her, so she would go through his phone, make up crazy stories about how he's being "suspicious" because he dared talk to women that weren't her (coworkers, teammates, mutual friends), etc. The reality was- he wasn't. He was playing some nerdy comic game on his phone, he had to talk to teammates about related stuff, coworkers about work related stuff, and mutual friends who were just that- friends.

Insecure people also go around ruining their friendships with shit like this too.

Basically, insecure people who don't keep shit in check ruin all sorts of relationships in their lives. They're absolutely neurotic.

click to expand

Good post! Completely agree with this. Insecure people need to get their shit together before they get into a Romantic relationship or even a friendship. Catty females ruin their friendships with other women with all their insecurities.

Posted by busyeyes88
OP, my opinion is I would.never date a man who has recently broke up with an ex. I would become platonic friends with them and see where the friendship cn progress once I know there is no feelings left re the ex. And if I ask the guy questions re the ex and his feelings and he can't give me a straight answer, I then become a platonic friend or simply walk away.

Safe and best route to take with a man coming out of a relationship, if you are considering a man that hasn't had time to process his break up.