libras: does having a rival make you feel uneasy?

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MelanieG
@MelanieG
14 YearsLibra

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in love, does having a rival make you feel super uneasy and kinda scared....? or am i just an insecure wimp?

i like this guy who lives in a different country and the only way i can keep in touch with him is through facebook or talking on the phone. he is super duper nice and has this angelic aura about him. the first time i met him, it was at a ski resort in canada and he rescued me from a terrifying situation i was in and from that day on i became emotionally attatched to him (plus i thought he was attractive lol). so far i sense no romantic chemistry between me and him but we can talk for hours on the phone and not run out of things to say! lol he listens to my problems and offers me encouragement and i try to do the same for him. he always replies to my emails and phone calls.

but lately i've been feeling sort of threatened by this one very persistent girl...
there's this gemini on facebook who keeps leaving these random, friendly messages on my crush's page (wall) and it's pretty obvious to me that she has a crush on him and it appears that she is doing everything she can to let the other girls know that she is super close with him. she's sort of like "marking her territory".
she tries to get flirty in her comments but he doesn't really flirt back. his replies are still friendly but very normal. i don't think he is into her like that but it kinda scares me that this girl is all over him. i feel kinda resentful that she gets to live in the same country as him and she has a better chance of getting closer to him than i do.

so anyway two weeks ago, the creepiest thing happened. i dunno what she was thinking or what she was trying to do but that same girl came to MY facebook page and left a comment on one of my pictures.

The comment was : "you have pretty eyes."

i just can't understand why she all of a sudden decided to come to my page and leave a comment. we don't even know eachother. the only way she could have found me was through my crush's page cuz i sometimes leave comments on his page. it was just odd and creepy. is this the infamous 'gemini evil twin mind game' in action....?

and now she is visiting my page frequently and leaving random comments on my wall as if she's one of my best friends.
she is really creepy. i'm trying my best to be polite and friendly to her and everything but her sudden, unexpected presense in my life is making me feel super uneasy and i'm weirded out by her. what should i do?
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GreekBarbie
@GreekBarbie
16 YearsCancer

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An Aqua girl did the same thing to me lol She had a crush on this guy who apparently had a crush on me (he told everyone this) and as soon as she found that out, she started being all nice to me. She never even gave a crap about my existence before this so I knew that her so-called friendship was fake right from the start. She was just basically trying to spy on me up close. Then a few weeks later I found out that she had been saying all kinds of horrible things about me behind my back. I wasn't surprised. I knew she was a lying, two-faced bitch right from the get-go. I ended up going out with the guy in question for like 4 months and then I got bored of him because he never had anything interesting to say lol Aqua girl didn't waste any time making her moves on him lol
I wouldn't trust that Gemini girl. She's probably just checking on her competition (you) lol She'll go away eventually or maybe you'll eventually lose interest in the guy she likes. Then she won't even matter. 🙂

My mom's a libra. You guys are generally very mild and passive but don't ever drop your guard.
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MelanieG
@MelanieG
14 YearsLibra

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Posted by somaspecialist
You're a libran....do what we do....do nothing and see if person responds to us as well. You know how we are we send little passive aggressive "messages" that from the outside world, might be manipulative and in reality its to see if they would respond and like us the same......hey we're librans....we have sensitive hearts.....From a libran male point of view....I flirt a little bit and see how they respond.....if they do nothing.....I'm finding the next girl.......Do I feel uneasy of having a rival in love....of course we're sensitive librans ....but as librans we keep scoring points by being charming and flirtatious ...and doing nothing......but keeping that mysteriousness for your crush.....just remember to keep the "balance" in order




thanks. the idea of doing nothing is starting to sound pretty good right about now. I've had to make all the moves up until this point which is not really in my character but this is the first time in my life that i felt so strongly about something (in this case, the boy) and i felt like it was up to me to make things happen between me and him so i didn't want to pass any form of opportunity that came my way. i feel like i've accomplished my goal of getting closer to him and i'm proud of myself for having made that first move (which was to call him from my country). i dropped my pride and eveything and just went for it. i don't normally do stuff like that being a leo rising and all lol I hate rejections and i hate being embarrassed lol but i'm so glad i took that chance!
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MelanieG
@MelanieG
14 YearsLibra

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Posted by GreekBarbie
An Aqua girl did the same thing to me lol She had a crush on this guy who apparently had a crush on me (he told everyone this) and as soon as she found that out, she started being all nice to me. She never even gave a crap about my existence before this so I knew that her so-called friendship was fake right from the start. She was just basically trying to spy on me up close. Then a few weeks later I found out that she had been saying all kinds of horrible things about me behind my back. I wasn't surprised. I knew she was a lying, two-faced bitch right from the get-go. I ended up going out with the guy in question for like 4 months and then I got bored of him because he never had anything interesting to say lol Aqua girl didn't waste any time making her moves on him lol
I wouldn't trust that Gemini girl. She's probably just checking on her competition (you) lol She'll go away eventually or maybe you'll eventually lose interest in the guy she likes. Then she won't even matter. 🙂

My mom's a libra. You guys are generally very mild and passive but don't ever drop your guard.



she sent me a private email yesterday asking "So, how do you know jacob?" (that's his name)
and in my mind i immediately thought how's this any of her business? so i didn't respond. i think my suspicions were correct afterall. she IS trying to get information out of me and i'm not interested in giving her any.

i know this comes off as really snobby and i'm not like proud of it or anything. but i just don't wanna have any type of relations with a girl who is going after the guy that i like. it's just awkward. i don't want anything to do with her.

and i also don't like the fact that she is kissing my ass. it's so fake. i just want her to leave me alone.
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GreekBarbie
@GreekBarbie
16 YearsCancer

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She sees you as a potential threat and wants to get you on her side as quickly as possible.
Ass-kissing is just her own way of doing that.

And I like how she used the private messaging method to ask that question instead of her usual posting stuff on your wall. She probably doesn't want the guy to know about her little investigation work for there's always the chance that he might visit your page. She wants to keep that stuff strictly behind-the-scenes lol
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MelanieG
@MelanieG
14 YearsLibra

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Posted by aquarius09
tell the libra dude that his gem friend messaged you asking about him. libras love their privacy and they strongly dislike people talking about them behind their back or checking up on them in terms of spying. She loses the libra and you gain bonus points for being loyal and honest 😉



i'm actually the libra in this scenario and the guy is an aries.
i'm usually not one to rat somebody out (be a tattle tail). i dunno how an aries guy might react to something like that. do you think he has a right to know that i'm being sort of harassed by one of his friends...? i don't even think this is harassment though....well, not yet anyway.

i'll have to think about it. i'm not telling him right away.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

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Posted by MelanieG
Posted by aquarius09
tell the libra dude that his gem friend messaged you asking about him. libras love their privacy and they strongly dislike people talking about them behind their back or checking up on them in terms of spying. She loses the libra and you gain bonus points for being loyal and honest 😉



i'm actually the libra in this scenario and the guy is an aries.
i'm usually not one to rat somebody out (be a tattle tail). i dunno how an aries guy might react to something like that. do you think he has a right to know that i'm being sort of harassed by one of his friends...? i don't even think this is harassment though....well, not yet anyway.

i'll have to think about it. i'm not telling him right away.
click to expand




Irrespective of zodiac sign, nobody would like being spied on. He has a right to know. This is not about being a tattle tail. This is about your loyalty/obligation is to HIM, not her. She is nobody to you. Telling your aries man is like killing 2 birds with one stone. It shows your loyalty to him and throws the competitor (her) out. Put yourself in his position. Would you like to know if one of your friend was contacting another friend of yours behind your back trying to dig information about you or even snooping about your relationship with the other friend through insidious means. I mean there would be no harm if she was genuine and straight away told you that she's interested in him and would like to know if you are a person of interest to him, in case she wants to back off.
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MelanieG
@MelanieG
14 YearsLibra

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@aquarius09

she sent me another priavte email asking me if him and i ever dated. she was like "are you his ex? did you two ever date??".
she's becoming a little brazen. i'm gonna take your advice and tell him. this girl is seriously starting to scare me. i've never been hassled like this by anyone. i hope this won't put my crush in an awkward position though...that's what i'm sorta worried about.


@godcomplex

...oh my god....i don't have anything against geminis as a whole. my mom and one of my best friends since childhood are both geminis.
my crush even has strong gemini placements in his chart (moon and mars). the girl in question just happened to be a gemini. that's all. why are you turning this into a libra vs. gemini thing when it's totally not? i don't even hate geminis. in fact, i like them...well aside from their sometimes crazy tempers which you've so kindly demonstrated for us.

and i think we've already established that i am insecure and apparently an idiot. you don't have to keep repeating it.
i heard you the first three times.

i have reasons to be suspicious of this girl. why would she ask me questions like "are you his ex? did you two ever date?" or "how do you know him?".

how are these things any of her business??

you're right about one thing though. she is VERY friendly and nice and i do appreciate that. but what i don't appreciate is the fact that she is trying to get information out of me by being phoney.

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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

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You are definitely a libra. I'm going by the "never been hassled by anyone like this before" comment. Life is full of people like her, and I wish libras would grow a backbone and tell people exactly as they feel. If I were you, I'd tell her to stfu and leave me alone, diplomatically of course. You will never be hassled by her or anyone like her for that matter if you learn to speak your mind. Anyway, if he is a true Aries, he will put this girl in her place. Let's see what happens
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LibraRose
@LibraRose
13 Years

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Posted by MelanieG
@aquarius09

she sent me another priavte email asking me if him and i ever dated. she was like "are you his ex? did you two ever date??".
she's becoming a little brazen. i'm gonna take your advice and tell him. this girl is seriously starting to scare me. i've never been hassled like this by anyone. i hope this won't put my crush in an awkward position though...that's what i'm sorta worried about.




Hi! I just wanted to comment because I had a situation like this a few years back. The person emailed me, and I was wary and only gave out the bare minimum of information to be polite. They then twisted this to make nasty claims about me. She was a manipulative cow. I would take the advice not to respond. I know it's hard because it feels rude, but she has no good reason to contact you. At a minimum I might respond and say that you are a private person and details about your relationship with X will remain between you and him. Say no more.

I would also be inclined to keep my heart open to other people. The guy sounds nice, but he is in another country!!
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MelanieG
@MelanieG
14 YearsLibra

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update:

hey everyone!
turns out this girl is the daughter of his dad's co-worker/good friend and she sometimes hangs out with him and his circle of friends but they have never been involved romantically (which is good news for me because i was starting to think she was his jealous ex girlfriend or something).

they apparently met at his dad's company's christmas party a few years back and she's been contacting him ever since. his dad asked him to be nice to her lol

my crush apologized to me on behalf of her and told me to let him know if she ever does something crazy lol

so there's the update. thanks ladies! you've been so helpful! but i think i'm gonna be okay now lol hopefully! haha
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jmr3979
@jmr3979
14 Years

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Hey Melanie,

Good Luck with everything. You sound like a sweet girl and he sounds like a nice guy but my only insight would be to move slowly with this and to yes be open to dating others as you both are in other countries. Not to say that nothing could not or would not ever happen as miracles happen every day but you also do not want to get hurt and the same goes for him. At least you got to the bottom of the girl but it still is a bit...creepy :p