Libras....How do you act towards one when hurt?

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Sag_Cap_Beauty*Cusp
@Sag_Cap_Beauty*Cusp
15 YearsSagittarius

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My Libra guy totally shuts down and turns everything off when he says that i hurt him because of my attitude and the way i act when im mad.. But what i don't understand is that I usually only act those ways when im having a bad day! He,s so unsympathetic to my needs and feelings sometimes yet when hes having one of those shitty days im there for him and PUT UP WITH all his bullshit! Why is he like this? he hates arguments and confrontations with me so he ignores the hell outta me and gets realy really nasty. I hate when hes like this.. Now I've learned to just leave him alone when he gets mad. I havnt talked to him all day and i kno for a fact hes hella surprised but oh fucking well i cant take this anymore. I love him to death and im pretty sure we're not breaking up because of this but Im just done kissing his ass when he never admits none of his faults.. Whats should i do? Am i doing the right thing... Yesterday i think I hurt him and made him mader than ever because i called him out on all his bs for the first time ever. He called after reading the text telling me never to talk to him again.I texted back apologizing not expecting a reply but just because i love him too much and its not like me to lose my patience.
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LibraSid
@LibraSid
15 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

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I have read this a couple times and think that ToC's question matters. You said that he is upset at how you acted or treat him... the part that caught my eye was that you said you usually only do it when you had a bad day. There isn't really enough information to help understand where his head is.

Posted by TasteOfChaos

When you are in a bad mood, how are you reacting towards him? Are you taking your bad moods out on him or are you just venting to him and he is taking it personally?



Libra's tend to be able to take a lot more from people before we walk away. It may come from our desire to avoid conflict, but where ever we get it most of us can take a lot. Once we are done though, it's done.

I shut down as well. I think the "no contact" rule may have been invented by a Libra 😉
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Sag_Cap_Beauty*Cusp
@Sag_Cap_Beauty*Cusp
15 YearsSagittarius

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Wow you guys are totally right. He used to be very very patient.. Now his fuse is so short!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And LITTLE thing he blows up like a ticking bomb!.... No i dont take my attitudes out on him at all. Its more like one of those situations where you are having shitty days and its very noticable to the person you are with because you act kind of differently and moody... things like that.
Curious Visitor: He saysd things like that often when mad but trust when i dont talk to him he gets very very surprised..
I just believe its kinda effed up seeing that i took all his shit from his babys mother and all that crap.. Ive taken a lot from him as well and he's changed but now he just takes thing tooooo personally. Hes really stressed in his life as well. Its horrible the most horrible thing about the situation is that he developes a tongue as sharp as a sword when he gets angry and it hurts.........
Later when he calms down and realizes all the things he says i think he kinda feels bad about it..
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libra sun
@libra sun
15 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

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I always switch off when someone has hurt me. My friends have all learnt to just give me space, when I am really hurt I do not even want to hear an apology from the person, I just want them as far away from me as possible. I do not like to discuss anything when I am in this mood either as I only get angry and I only like to discuss when I am calm and thinking straight.
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sue1c
@sue1c
12 Years

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can anyone help? Im a taurus woman in love with a libra guy, We were only together for 6 weeks but it was great and he was so loving, I fell heavily for him, he told me he thought he loved me by the second date! He brought his daughter and grand daughter to meet me. He's 52.He said he never gets jealous but then went off in a massive sulk cutting all contact when I went to see an ex to end all contact with him, Man was a pyscho and wouldn't let go, I only wanted my libra man and I thought my libra would be happy to know I had got rid of him completely.I was upfront with my libra but he said he wished I hadn't told him, he had been hurt before and wasn't sure if he was ready for a complex relationship.He admitted to getting jealous and then apologised for being paraniod! After that in public, if a man showed any interest in me he would put his hand on me and keep it there! We carried on and things were great but he told me he would come down at a certain time and didn't ring until later. I was in a bad mood and snapped at him and told him not to bother and put the phone down on him. I expected him to ring back and when he didn't I texted him to end it. I apologised the next day but when I saw he was checking out the dating sites I sent more nasty text messages and 2 emails saying how hurt I was. He changed his profile and removed his photo. I have since calmed right down and a week after the inital row apologised properly by text.Then again 10 days later 2 grovelling apologies and a voicemail to try to redress the balance of the nasty ones. It is now 3 weeks and nothing from him at all. he was so full on, talking about doing up my house, getting me a new car. Saying he just wanted to be loved and just by me. I have told him I want to make it up, im sorry, it was all my fault and we don't have to go over it just try to get back what we had, he hates confrontation, How do I get him to speak to me? I want to make it up to him.
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LibraSid
@LibraSid
15 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

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You necro'd a three year dead thread with a new question of your own? Why didn't you create a new topic?

Regardless, if the guy tells you he ain't interested anymore and don't call for three weeks, chances are he ain't interested anymore. You mentioned a few things in the post that show why he walked. The ex thing is weird. If it's an ex why do you need to see them face to face? You said you apologized to your libra "properly through text" but had to see the ex face to face? Every man gets jealous, some just internalize it. Then from your post, you always seems to be screaming at him and then apologizing... that gets old quick. I don't want that kind of drama.

That don't mean its your fault. You mentioned a couple things about him that didn't sit right but you glaze past them. All I'm saying is it was only 6 weeks and you two clearly didn't work together. Let it go and move on.
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sue1c
@sue1c
12 Years

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I didn't know how to start a new topic.
Firstly he hasn't told me he isn't interested he just hasn't said anything, I have asked for a simple text to say to leave him alone but nothing. The ex started texting as soon as he knew I was in a relationship and carried on so I thought as he lived near I would see him and tell him, he is fairly aggressive, not to me, and I didn't want him turning up on the doorstep, I realise now that was wrong but at the time it seemed right as we are involved in a court case as witnesses together and I want to keep him on an even keel.But my libra seemed to get over that, even referring to himself as paranoid. We were great after that.
We only had the one row and yes I went over the top I was upset about something else but I have apologised, by text and voicemail. He won't answer and he has gone to live at his mothers, I don't know her address or I would go there immediately.
What things don't sit right? I'm wondering if I'm missing something about him.
i know it was short but it was intense and we seemed to really click.
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sue1c
@sue1c
12 Years

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that did sound bad, living with his mum! but he had come out of a 18 month relationship and moved to be near his kids and was staying on a friends sofa. I apologised so much to try to even up the balance as I had sent a few nasty messages before.
I won't contact him anymore now, but he ticked all the boxes for me and was so loving, I can't believe if he didn't want me after I had a go why not just say?
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

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Posted by sue1c
If he didn't want to know why not send a simple text saying so? He's 52 not 15. Im finding it hard to move on as I have to get him out of my system first and I want answers It went from fantastic to bad overnight



Uh, because HE'S 52 he should be TELLING YOU TO YOUR FACE not texting you about it. Fricken 15 year olds text over serious matters, not grown men. Who's really the immature one, here? You're relying on way too much textual/phone service bs and not discussing face to face either.

And the whole "love" thing at the beginning is textbook crazy libra boy bullshit. When they jump in fast, you best run the other way, because they back out/change just as fast as they jumped in.
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sue1c
@sue1c
12 Years

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He hasn't said anything, that's the problem! I'm the one texting, emailing and phoning, leaving voicemails as he has cut all contact. If I wanted to end it with someone and couldn't face them I would at least send a text. But nothing at all from him. I would happily speak face to face but he works all over the place and I don't know where he is living at the moment. I meet things head on and I'm not afraid to say how I feel. I'm begining to realise that his intense feelings to start with have probably frightened him more than me, as although I was loving I didn't go as overboard as him until after my snapping at him.
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
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Posted by sue1c
He hasn't said anything, that's the problem! I'm the one texting, emailing and phoning, leaving voicemails as he has cut all contact. If I wanted to end it with someone and couldn't face them I would at least send a text. But nothing at all from him. I would happily speak face to face but he works all over the place and I don't know where he is living at the moment. I meet things head on and I'm not afraid to say how I feel. I'm begining to realise that his intense feelings to start with have probably frightened him more than me, as although I was loving I didn't go as overboard as him until after my snapping at him.



lol "intense feelings frightened him?"

Welcome to the world of being the whim of an unbalanced libran manboy. That's all you were in this situtation- a whim.

Do yourself a favor and move along the best you can. Fretting over why they do what they do will just drive you crazy. THEY don't even know why they do what they do.
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sue1c
@sue1c
12 Years

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I think you are probably right but it's hard to just "move on" and accept it. I hope if he does come back I have it in me to tell him to get lost but right now I'm weak and pathetic and trying to make excuses for him. I'm torn between wanting him to contact immediately and common sense telling me it's better if he doesn't. I have enough "baggage" of my own without taking on his. I wish I had never met him.
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
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Posted by sue1c
I also think your comments seem harsh, not a critisim by the way preferable to soft soap. I'm begining to get my eys opened and it hurts. Lessons being learned.



Yep, it's harsh, just like the platter of bullshit he's feeding you, and you're gladly eating off of it.

Harsh is needed because women tend to stick around, even though the message is clear coming from the guy. Because the last thing you need is false hope or misleading "advice" that will make you think it's okay to stick around and deal with this. I'm harsh because women don't think clearly nor protect themselves in this situation- leaving themselves open for more emotional abuse from asshats like this.

Yes, I know "move on" is hard to do. It's not expected to happen over night, but it's something that needs to be said because you will continue to attempt to get in touch and make yourself look desperate. You will mull over this and get obsessive, because this type of guy does that to you. You'll constantly wonder wtf his problem is and wonder why can't you get the closure you need?

Libran guys like this are selfish and only think about their own emotions. They do the dishonorable thing of disappearing and hoping you get the hint. They fear confrontation THAT much.

It's rough, but you need to start to drop the guy and all the bs that follows. Stop contacting him. Don't even bother, no matter how much you want to due to sheer curiosity. And even if he has the balls to contact you, don't jump at it first chance.

Like someone else said, the guy seems like a loser, and even more so with how he handled this. If he's willing to drop you that quickly, then eff that and move on. It won't happen over night, but you'll get there.
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purrtybossest
@purrtybossest
15 Years

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When I'm hurt or upset, I will tell the person eventually depending on how much I care about them. But I need time to process the situation and think carefully about what I want to say and how I want to say it, so I don't regret it later. You want to be careful about pushing a Libra when we are upset, because if we said the first thing that comes to mind you might mistake us for a tongue lashing Sagittarius with no regard to your feelings.

If I don't really care, then this will sound bad but yes, I??ll disappear. I don't know why I just do. ESPECIALLY, if they go off on me. It's not that I'm afraid of conflict; I just refuse to be cursed out by anyone. I won't even let my parents go off on me. It's the quickest way out of my life if you call yourself going off on me. Also you need to remember YOU dumped him, in a text. So when he went on social dating sites he most likely only did it for the attention, and then you went off on him? Umm hello, he was single when he did it, so he's entitled. He was probably thinking the nerve of you. And like Rocky said, Libra??s will fall quickly, and sometimes we stay that way sometimes we don't. I blame the scales. Lol. They tilt and so do we. Smh.
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sue1c
@sue1c
12 Years

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I know I was wrong but I thought he had strong feelings for me, obviously I doubt that now! I didn't really try to make it up until a week later and then properly 12 days later. And he is that much older not a teenager, he's been around a bit, says hurt before and possibly not really ready for the "headwork" of a complex relationship.
I could never imagine him ever losing his temper, shouting or being violent. I told him once I had a bit of a temper and he said he never lost his but would be a sounding board for me. Always loving,charming and calm. And Oh no here I go again!!
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sue1c
@sue1c
12 Years

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Posted by sewdope
Posted by sue1c
can anyone help? Im a taurus woman in love with a libra guy, We were only together for 6 weeks but it was great and he was so loving, I fell heavily for him, he told me he thought he loved me by the second date! He brought his daughter and grand daughter to meet me. He's 52.He said he never gets jealous but then went off in a massive sulk cutting all contact when I went to see an ex to end all contact with him, Man was a pyscho and wouldn't let go, I only wanted my libra man and I thought my libra would be happy to know I had got rid of him completely.I was upfront with my libra but he said he wished I hadn't told him, he had been hurt before and wasn't sure if he was ready for a complex relationship.He admitted to getting jealous and then apologised for being paraniod! After that in public, if a man showed any interest in me he would put his hand on me and keep it there! We carried on and things were great but he told me he would come down at a certain time and didn't ring until later. I was in a bad mood and snapped at him and told him not to bother and put the phone down on him. I expected him to ring back and when he didn't I texted him to end it. I apologised the next day but when I saw he was checking out the dating sites I sent more nasty text messages and 2 emails saying how hurt I was. He changed his profile and removed his photo. I have since calmed right down and a week after the inital row apologised properly by text.Then again 10 days later 2 grovelling apologies and a voicemail to try to redress the balance of the nasty ones. It is now 3 weeks and nothing from him at all. he was so full on, talking about doing up my house, getting me a new car. Saying he just wanted to be loved and just by me. I have told him I want to make it up, im sorry, it was all my fault and we don't have to go over it just try to get back what we had, he hates confrontation, How do I get him to speak to me? I want to make it up to him.
click to expand




I'm not going to lie... I would be afraid to talk to you too. You have way too many intense feelings for someone you've only known for 6 weeks. You should back off. Next time don't play games to see how he will react if he does something you don't like. When he called you should have told him why you were upset instead of hanging up the phone on
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sue1c
@sue1c
12 Years

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He had really intense feelings too and said he loved me, we both got carried away. I was in a bad mood and snapped at him not really playing games but hindsight is a wonderful thing and yes I should have given him chance to speak instead of raging at him and dumping him. I've tried to make it up and don't know what else to do. I have to leave it now and try to move on
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starseed101
@starseed101
12 Years

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IM a libra woman, and had 2 libra men. They were both different. The one with scorpio Venus and cancer moon, totally scarred the libra image. Moody, controlling, distant, cold caring all day everyday. The other one had sag moon and cap Venus. He my best friend and can relate, we broke up because of immaturity we were young still dumb. Lol. But we still have that chemistry of deep friendship. I have libra moon and Virgo Venus. As far as libra sun logical reasoning, we don't mind debates and exchanging views and ideas to find SOLUTIONS or INFORMATION but the constant moodiness especially after we thought every thing is cool and understood and debated we begin to withdraw analyze the whole situation the pros and cons THE SCALE to find a balance. Yes libra have moods mostly because of some injustice somewhere or fatigue from a draining situation, fighting, talking, balancing, lack of rest, proving, learning,serving, thinking, calculating, and loving can be draining. When in position it cause us to procrastinate to make sudden decisions, but it doesn't mean we're not going to do it. If you are reacting on sole emotions to force libra into a position we will not budge. We are in our head too much. Things got to be fair and make sense to us to prevent more fights and confrontations. We will shut down before we keep going in moody circles. If we love you we will not break up with or avoid you, but we can love you above totally turned off from you that make us so irritated that we begin to shut the person out and move on without noticing it. Before you know it we in another relationship. The main thing to know if we really start getting mean and saying mean things we fell out of.love and lost respect for what we think is too negative with no balance. Libra are selfless free spirit live let live ride and die with their mate motivators we try to rise above stupid people we about partnerships passion and keeping it real. If we have a partner that want to lead us with a weak backbone we won't compromise or jeopardize ourselves and we understand if you won't it's reasonable without the hate and manipulations. We love then we get turned off then we get uncaring, then return you off, then we run away for air not a mate, then if you still stupid soon the air blew us to someone else without planning it or if you was the last relationship attempt after a few, we just decide to BS bachelors and bachelorettes. Everything is simple and common sense, with Patience to libra.
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starseed101
@starseed101
12 Years

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IM a libra woman, and had 2 libra men. They were both different. The one with scorpio Venus and cancer moon, totally scarred the libra image. Moody, controlling, distant, cold caring all day everyday. The other one had sag moon and cap Venus. He my best friend and can relate, we broke up because of immaturity we were young still dumb. Lol. But we still have that chemistry of deep friendship. I have libra moon and Virgo Venus. As far as libra sun logical reasoning, we don't mind debates and exchanging views and ideas to find SOLUTIONS or INFORMATION but the constant moodiness especially after we thought every thing is cool and understood and debated we begin to withdraw analyze the whole situation the pros and cons THE SCALE to find a balance. Yes libra have moods mostly because of some injustice somewhere or fatigue from a draining situation, fighting, talking, balancing, lack of rest, proving, learning,serving, thinking, calculating, and loving can be draining. When in position it cause us to procrastinate to make sudden decisions, but it doesn't mean we're not going to do it. If you are reacting on sole emotions to force libra into a position we will not budge. We are in our head too much. Things got to be fair and make sense to us to prevent more fights and confrontations. We will shut down before we keep going in moody circles. If we love you we will not break up with or avoid you, but we can love you above totally turned off from you that make us so irritated that we begin to shut the person out and move on without noticing it. Before you know it we in another relationship. The main thing to know if we really start getting mean and saying mean things we fell out of.love and lost respect for what we think is too negative with no balance. Libra are selfless free spirit live let live ride and die with their mate motivators we try to rise above stupid people we about partnerships passion and keeping it real. If we have a partner that want to lead us with a weak backbone we won't compromise or jeopardize ourselves and we understand if you won't it's reasonable without the hate and manipulations. We love then we get turned off then we get uncaring, then return you off, then we run away for air not a mate, then if you still stupid soon the air blew us to someone else without planning it or if you was the last relationship attempt after a few, we just decide to BS bachelors and bachelorettes. Everything is simple and common sense, with Patience to libra.
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starseed101
@starseed101
12 Years

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IM a libra woman, and had 2 libra men. They were both different. The one with scorpio Venus and cancer moon, totally scarred the libra image. Moody, controlling, distant, cold caring all day everyday. The other one had sag moon and cap Venus.He was my best friend and can relate, we broke up because of immaturity we were young still dumb. Lol. But we still have that chemistry of deep friendship. I have libra moon and Virgo Venus. As far as libra sun logical reasoning, we don't mind debates and exchanging views and ideas to find SOLUTIONS or INFORMATION but the constant moodiness especially after we thought every thing is cool and understood and debated we begin to withdraw analyze the whole situation the pros and cons THE SCALE to find a balance. Yes libra have moods mostly because of some injustice somewhere or fatigue from a draining situation, fighting, talking, balancing, lack of rest, proving, learning,serving, thinking, calculating, and loving can be draining. When in position it cause us to procrastinate to make sudden decisions, but it doesn't mean we're not going to do it. If you are reacting on sole emotions to force libra into a position we will not budge. We are in our head too much. Things got to be fair and make sense to us to prevent more fights and confrontations. We will shut down before we keep going in moody circles. If we love you we will not break up with or avoid you, but we can love you above totally turned off from you that make us so irritated that we begin to shut the person out and move on without noticing it. Before you know it we in another relationship. The main thing to know if we really start getting mean and saying mean things we fell out of.love and lost respect for what we think is too negative with no balance. Libra are selfless free spirit live let live ride and die with their mate motivators we try to rise above stupid people we about partnerships passion and keeping it real. If we have a partner that want to lead us with a weak backbone we won't compromise or jeopardize ourselves and we understand if you won't it's reasonable without the hate and manipulations. We love then we get turned off then we get uncaring, then return you off, then we run away for air not a mate, then if you still stupid soon the air blew us to someone else without planning it or if you was the last relationship attempt after a few, we just decide to BS bachelors and bachelorettes. Everything is simple and common sense, with Patience to libr
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starseed101
@starseed101
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 4 · Topics: 0
IM a libra woman, and had 2 libra men. They were both different. The one with scorpio Venus and cancer moon, totally scarred the libra image. Moody, controlling, distant, cold caring all day everyday. The other one had sag moon and cap Venus.He was my best friend and can relate, we broke up because of immaturity we were young still dumb. Lol. But we still have that chemistry of deep friendship. I have libra moon and Virgo Venus. As far as libra sun logical reasoning, we don't mind debates and exchanging views and ideas to find SOLUTIONS or INFORMATION but the constant moodiness especially after we thought every thing is cool and understood and debated we begin to withdraw analyze the whole situation the pros and cons THE SCALE to find a balance. Yes libra have moods mostly because of some injustice somewhere or fatigue from a draining situation, fighting, talking, balancing, lack of rest, proving, learning,serving, thinking, calculating, and loving can be draining. When in position it cause us to procrastinate to make sudden decisions, but it doesn't mean we're not going to do it. If you are reacting on sole emotions to force libra into a position we will not budge. We are in our head too much. Things got to be fair and make sense to us to prevent more fights and confrontations. We will shut down before we keep going in moody circles. If we love you we will not break up with or avoid you, but we can love you above totally turned off from you that make us so irritated that we begin to shut the person out and move on without noticing it. Before you know it we in another relationship. The main thing to know if we really start getting mean and saying mean things we fell out of.love and lost respect for what we think is too negative with no balance. Libra are selfless free spirit live let live ride and die with their mate motivators we try to rise above stupid people we about partnerships passion and keeping it real. If we have a partner that want to lead us with a weak backbone we won't compromise or jeopardize ourselves and we understand if you won't it's reasonable without the hate and manipulations. We love then we get turned off then we get uncaring, then return you off, then we run away for air not a mate, then if you still stupid soon the air blew us to someone else without planning it or if you was the last relationship attempt after a few, we just decide to BS bachelors and bachelorettes. Everything is simple and common sense, with Patience to libr
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Chaity
@Chaity
8 Years

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I lied to my Libra man just to save my relationship.. And it hurt him so much.. I was also talking to my ex but I told him the reason why.. He didn't say or oppose.. He reacted when I lied for the first time.. Just telling me that I broke his trust.. Now he cut off every connection.. But didn't block from social networking sites.. Avoiding my calls and text .. What should I do? Will he come back? I apologized and assured I won't do it again.. I realized my faults.. Now what will mend my love— I want him so badly...