Libras how do you deal with the heartache of lost friendships?

Posted by ElTigre24
I've been guilty of causing tyranny in others lives. I was once friends with an Aqua. He was in a hospital for a week, unbeknownst to me. He hadn't communicated with me during this time frame or prior. I called him up with drama, telling him how horrible he was for having such poor communication with me. He showed me pics of him in the hospital bed, I still refused to let up. She sounds like me. I get quite aggressive when I'm not attended to. What's her placements? You're better off letting her be crazy alone lol.

Posted by Shrewdsharp
A girlfriend of mine seems to argue fuss and fight with me every time we get together. It's a relatively new friendship and after exhausting every imaginable option I feel I have to love her at a distance. She is not jealous because I have nothing to be jealous of. I try and ask her what's going on but she looks at me with a blank stare and within 5 - 10 minutes she is mad again. Most of my friendships are 20 years, she is a very new friend 2+ years. I hate letting people go! But disharmony and arguing makes me physically sick. Me and my Cancer best friend has had 3 disagreements in 15 years. I am not accustomed to this arguing fussing and fighting. After 6 months of nonstop arguing I just decided that I have had enough when after I informed her I was at a funeral yesterday and she texted salacious commentary. She knew I was at a funeral, she was so selfish and self-absorbed she completely ignored my grief and starting arguing over petty things again. I ended the friendship and today I naturally feel grief. Share some insight?

Posted by Tinxy

Posted by Shrewdsharp
A girlfriend of mine seems to argue fuss and fight with me every time we get together. It's a relatively new friendship and after exhausting every imaginable option I feel I have to love her at a distance. She is not jealous because I have nothing to be jealous of. I try and ask her what's going on but she looks at me with a blank stare and within 5 - 10 minutes she is mad again. Most of my friendships are 20 years, she is a very new friend 2+ years. I hate letting people go! But disharmony and arguing makes me physically sick. Me and my Cancer best friend has had 3 disagreements in 15 years. I am not accustomed to this arguing fussing and fighting. After 6 months of nonstop arguing I just decided that I have had enough when after I informed her I was at a funeral yesterday and she texted salacious commentary. She knew I was at a funeral, she was so selfish and self-absorbed she completely ignored my grief and starting arguing over petty things again. I ended the friendship and today I naturally feel grief. Share some insight?

Are you both female ?

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Posted by ElTigre24
I've been guilty of causing tyranny in others lives. I was once friends with an Aqua. He was in a hospital for a week, unbeknownst to me. He hadn't communicated with me during this time frame or prior. I called him up with drama, telling him how horrible he was for having such poor communication with me. He showed me pics of him in the hospital bed, I still refused to let up. She sounds like me. I get quite aggressive when I'm not attended to. What's her placements? You're better off letting her be crazy alone lol.

Posted by Sugarfoot
I struggle with it. It takes a lot for me to be done with someone. But once I'm done with friends, I prefer to cut ties for good. Then, I feel guilty for cutting out a person I was friends with for so long. It makes me feel bad that I didn't show forgiveness and acceptance to a friend. On the flipside, I'd feel stupid for continuing to put myself in the same position over and over again for whatever caused us to not be friends anymore.

I'm going through this atm. A friend I've had since high school is trying to come back into my life and I really don't want her to. I trying to decide if I should just go ahead and be cool again, or keep things the way they are. Instinct says keep her away. Mental says, at this rate you won't have any old friends left. Idk what to do.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
...they have "heartache?" That's hilarious.

My understanding is what when a friendship ends with them, they don't care and the person they were "friends" with has served their purpose. On to the next person that will fulfil their needs/agenda/whatever. That, or they usually have someone else to jump to. Most of the Libras I know have a tendency of hoarding friends. They like having their options, romantic or platonic.

I've noticed that the ones who have long term friendships, they aren't very deep or super close friendships. The friendships that are closer are short lived.

Posted by Raymond_Reddingtonn
You should stop avoiding the argument and deal with it head-on. One good fight will prevent many more.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
It becomes a "bad" thing when you treat the other so coldly and as a commodity to fulfil some personal need of yours.

That's not just a "oh friends come and go" vibe, it's a "they served their purpose, moving on..." vibe that most other people get from that behavior/attitude. That may be how you internalize it, but to everyone else who doesn't appear so cold about others and their feelings, it looks like "user" behavior.

Posted by Sugarfoot
I just can't understand how some people continue to take shyt off their friends. If someone keeps giving me their ass to kiss and I've tried to fix things and I've tried being understanding and they still keep doing it, I'm out. I don't care how long we've been friends.

I see that some people are able to move pass things their friends consistently do that are hurtful and pretty much unbecoming of a friend. My feeling is that once they're not being a friend to me anymore, why am still sticking around?

Posted by jeane

Posted by Sugarfoot
I just can't understand how some people continue to take shyt off their friends. If someone keeps giving me their ass to kiss and I've tried to fix things and I've tried being understanding and they still keep doing it, I'm out. I don't care how long we've been friends.

I see that some people are able to move pass things their friends consistently do that are hurtful and pretty much unbecoming of a friend. My feeling is that once they're not being a friend to me anymore, why am still sticking around?

you sound much more sentimental than i am. yes you have a shared history and memories with that person but when it is done, it is done. it's pointless trying to hang on to try and turn back the clock. it's like hanging around high school after you've graduated because you don't want to move on from the memory. people change. life moves on. embrace the new.

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Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by jeane

Posted by Sugarfoot
I just can't understand how some people continue to take shyt off their friends. If someone keeps giving me their ass to kiss and I've tried to fix things and I've tried being understanding and they still keep doing it, I'm out. I don't care how long we've been friends.

I see that some people are able to move pass things their friends consistently do that are hurtful and pretty much unbecoming of a friend. My feeling is that once they're not being a friend to me anymore, why am still sticking around?

you sound much more sentimental than i am. yes you have a shared history and memories with that person but when it is done, it is done. it's pointless trying to hang on to try and turn back the clock. it's like hanging around high school after you've graduated because you don't want to move on from the memory. people change. life moves on. embrace the new.

I guess emotions of love and mercy get in the way. It really hurts too; it sounds like you move into acceptance quickly You know what? Maybe I do need a good boo hoo let it out.

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Posted by jeane

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by jeane

Posted by Sugarfoot
I just can't understand how some people continue to take shyt off their friends. If someone keeps giving me their ass to kiss and I've tried to fix things and I've tried being understanding and they still keep doing it, I'm out. I don't care how long we've been friends.

I see that some people are able to move pass things their friends consistently do that are hurtful and pretty much unbecoming of a friend. My feeling is that once they're not being a friend to me anymore, why am still sticking around?

you sound much more sentimental than i am. yes you have a shared history and memories with that person but when it is done, it is done. it's pointless trying to hang on to try and turn back the clock. it's like hanging around high school after you've graduated because you don't want to move on from the memory. people change. life moves on. embrace the new.

I guess emotions of love and mercy get in the way. It really hurts too; it sounds like you move into acceptance quickly You know what? Maybe I do need a good boo hoo let it out.

i guess i am just not emotional about them. they are not my significant other, they are not my family. to me, i was fine before them, i'll be fine after them. i don't hinge my emotions on them or their actions. i'm too much of a loner i suppose. i've always been that way. even at school i was never afraid to walk away from friends without a second glance.

the bottom line is if someone is treating you badly and you don't like it, you either say something or you take your ball go home. if you choose to stay then you're not the victim in this. you chose the behaviour, you choose the consequence. decide what you will and won't put up with and let your actions reflect that decision.

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Posted by ElTigre24

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by ElTigre24
I've been guilty of causing tyranny in others lives. I was once friends with an Aqua. He was in a hospital for a week, unbeknownst to me. He hadn't communicated with me during this time frame or prior. I called him up with drama, telling him how horrible he was for having such poor communication with me. He showed me pics of him in the hospital bed, I still refused to let up. She sounds like me. I get quite aggressive when I'm not attended to. What's her placements? You're better off letting her be crazy alone lol.

...so you made his issue all about you?

You're a winner...

No, when someone asks me for money and explains the situation they invite all my criticism as well. You must only be able to take in one main point of a story. Next time I'll put the important part in bold for you. Smh.

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Posted by jeane

Posted by rockyroadicecream
It becomes a "bad" thing when you treat the other so coldly and as a commodity to fulfil some personal need of yours.

That's not just a "oh friends come and go" vibe, it's a "they served their purpose, moving on..." vibe that most other people get from that behavior/attitude. That may be how you internalize it, but to everyone else who doesn't appear so cold about others and their feelings, it looks like "user" behavior.

ah, that's an assumption on your part. i'm not cold towards others and their feelings. i just don't cling to a friendship that no longer exists. i fulfill a personal need in that other person's life too. friendships should be mutually beneficial.

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Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by jeane

Posted by rockyroadicecream
It becomes a "bad" thing when you treat the other so coldly and as a commodity to fulfil some personal need of yours.

That's not just a "oh friends come and go" vibe, it's a "they served their purpose, moving on..." vibe that most other people get from that behavior/attitude. That may be how you internalize it, but to everyone else who doesn't appear so cold about others and their feelings, it looks like "user" behavior.

ah, that's an assumption on your part. i'm not cold towards others and their feelings. i just don't cling to a friendship that no longer exists. i fulfill a personal need in that other person's life too. friendships should be mutually beneficial.

...you're not understanding, dear.

I said it APPEARS. As in that's the vibe you give off. Other people pick up on it. You hear about it all the time on the Libra forum and it's why you guys get so much shit for being "cold" assholes.

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Posted by Sugarfoot

Posted by jeane

Posted by Sugarfoot
I just can't understand how some people continue to take shyt off their friends. If someone keeps giving me their ass to kiss and I've tried to fix things and I've tried being understanding and they still keep doing it, I'm out. I don't care how long we've been friends.

I see that some people are able to move pass things their friends consistently do that are hurtful and pretty much unbecoming of a friend. My feeling is that once they're not being a friend to me anymore, why am still sticking around?

you sound much more sentimental than i am. yes you have a shared history and memories with that person but when it is done, it is done. it's pointless trying to hang on to try and turn back the clock. it's like hanging around high school after you've graduated because you don't want to move on from the memory. people change. life moves on. embrace the new.

Yea I am pretty sentimental and nostalgic. I don't see anything wrong with that. I draw the line at sticking around for abusive or disrespectful behavior. That, I don't do.

My friends are important to me. They are extended family members usually. I don't have many.

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Posted by Sugarfoot

Posted by jeane

Posted by Sugarfoot

Posted by jeane

Posted by Sugarfoot
I just can't understand how some people continue to take shyt off their friends. If someone keeps giving me their ass to kiss and I've tried to fix things and I've tried being understanding and they still keep doing it, I'm out. I don't care how long we've been friends.

I see that some people are able to move pass things their friends consistently do that are hurtful and pretty much unbecoming of a friend. My feeling is that once they're not being a friend to me anymore, why am still sticking around?

you sound much more sentimental than i am. yes you have a shared history and memories with that person but when it is done, it is done. it's pointless trying to hang on to try and turn back the clock. it's like hanging around high school after you've graduated because you don't want to move on from the memory. people change. life moves on. embrace the new.

Yea I am pretty sentimental and nostalgic. I don't see anything wrong with that. I draw the line at sticking around for abusive or disrespectful behavior. That, I don't do.

My friends are important to me. They are extended family members usually. I don't have many.

not a judgement, just an observation. 🙂

It was the high school analogy that sounded more like a judgement. I'm haven't even been to any high school reunions but I do value my long standing friendships. No offense taken tho.

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Posted by jeane

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by jeane

Posted by rockyroadicecream
It becomes a "bad" thing when you treat the other so coldly and as a commodity to fulfil some personal need of yours.

That's not just a "oh friends come and go" vibe, it's a "they served their purpose, moving on..." vibe that most other people get from that behavior/attitude. That may be how you internalize it, but to everyone else who doesn't appear so cold about others and their feelings, it looks like "user" behavior.

ah, that's an assumption on your part. i'm not cold towards others and their feelings. i just don't cling to a friendship that no longer exists. i fulfill a personal need in that other person's life too. friendships should be mutually beneficial.

...you're not understanding, dear.

I said it APPEARS. As in that's the vibe you give off. Other people pick up on it. You hear about it all the time on the Libra forum and it's why you guys get so much shit for being "cold" assholes.

*shrugs* i was trying to think of a decent retort and then i realised i just didn't care enough.

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Posted by rockyroadicecream
Yet you still responded.

If you want to take what I said as a personal offense, go ahead. It's what your lot is notorious for. I understood what you were saying and the point that was made, but I was pointing out that because this is how you tend to view it, it comes off entirely different to those outside of your internal workings.

You're the one who twisted it into "assumption" and took it as a personal offense.

If you guys spent less time getting offended over stupid shit and more time realizing what's really going on half the time, you'd have a lot fewer issues with "haters."

Posted by jeane

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Yet you still responded.

If you want to take what I said as a personal offense, go ahead. It's what your lot is notorious for. I understood what you were saying and the point that was made, but I was pointing out that because this is how you tend to view it, it comes off entirely different to those outside of your internal workings.

You're the one who twisted it into "assumption" and took it as a personal offense.

If you guys spent less time getting offended over stupid shit and more time realizing what's really going on half the time, you'd have a lot fewer issues with "haters."

i'm not offended at all. my point was i care so little about this topic, i cant even find something worthwhile to say. you can say what you like rocky - your opinion of me, my sign, the way you imagine my own behaviour to be, doesn't matter to me. you might think that i am saying that in a passive aggressive manner, i can assure you, i'm not. i honestly don't care.

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Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
I drop people like that at the dime of a hat

Posted by jeane

Posted by rockyroadicecream
It becomes a "bad" thing when you treat the other so coldly and as a commodity to fulfil some personal need of yours.

That's not just a "oh friends come and go" vibe, it's a "they served their purpose, moving on..." vibe that most other people get from that behavior/attitude. That may be how you internalize it, but to everyone else who doesn't appear so cold about others and their feelings, it looks like "user" behavior.

ah, that's an assumption on your part. i'm not cold towards others and their feelings. i just don't cling to a friendship that no longer exists. i fulfill a personal need in that other person's life too. friendships should be mutually beneficial.

click to expand

Posted by Sugarfoot
"People expect you (which is a HUGE myth for Libra's) to be friends with them because they want to be friends with you."


So true! I believe that's the source of the largest number of complaints we see about Libra. People think it's gonna be soooo easy to get their way with Libra. Then when they realize we do only what we want, and it's not their way, Libra is the demon spawn. Lol. Over and over again.

Posted by Shrewdsharp
A girlfriend of mine seems to argue fuss and fight with me every time we get together. It's a relatively new friendship and after exhausting every imaginable option I feel I have to love her at a distance. She is not jealous because I have nothing to be jealous of. I try and ask her what's going on but she looks at me with a blank stare and within 5 - 10 minutes she is mad again. Most of my friendships are 20 years, she is a very new friend 2+ years. I hate letting people go! But disharmony and arguing makes me physically sick. Me and my Cancer best friend has had 3 disagreements in 15 years. I am not accustomed to this arguing fussing and fighting. After 6 months of nonstop arguing I just decided that I have had enough when after I informed her I was at a funeral yesterday and she texted salacious commentary. She knew I was at a funeral, she was so selfish and self-absorbed she completely ignored my grief and starting arguing over petty things again. I ended the friendship and today I naturally feel grief. Share some insight?

Posted by LIb4Life

Posted by jeane

Posted by rockyroadicecream
It becomes a "bad" thing when you treat the other so coldly and as a commodity to fulfil some personal need of yours.

That's not just a "oh friends come and go" vibe, it's a "they served their purpose, moving on..." vibe that most other people get from that behavior/attitude. That may be how you internalize it, but to everyone else who doesn't appear so cold about others and their feelings, it looks like "user" behavior.

ah, that's an assumption on your part. i'm not cold towards others and their feelings. i just don't cling to a friendship that no longer exists. i fulfill a personal need in that other person's life too. friendships should be mutually beneficial.

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@Jeane..totally agree..who the heck has time to be running behind a grown individual who has probably push you to the point of no return. I'm not a cold, careless person at all, but I know when a friendship or relationship is over, and trust me, if I got to the point where I'm done, I promise you I was pushed to that point of no return. I've had the same three (3) best friends since 1st grade and 5th grade, and I've met a few close friends through this journey called life, but most everyone else is an associate. People expect you (which is a HUGE myth for Libra's) to be friends with them because they want to be friends with you.

The criticism stings a lit, but I felt a sense of self-acceptance and a deep appreciation for my friends and family who love me unconditionally. I feel adored and loved most of the time. Libras ain't everyone's flavor, "You can please some of the people some of time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time." I know I would not follow postings about a sign that didn't please me.

Posted by jeane

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Yet you still responded.

If you want to take what I said as a personal offense, go ahead. It's what your lot is notorious for. I understood what you were saying and the point that was made, but I was pointing out that because this is how you tend to view it, it comes off entirely different to those outside of your internal workings.

You're the one who twisted it into "assumption" and took it as a personal offense.

If you guys spent less time getting offended over stupid shit and more time realizing what's really going on half the time, you'd have a lot fewer issues with "haters."

i'm not offended at all. my point was i care so little about this topic, i cant even find something worthwhile to say. you can say what you like rocky - your opinion of me, my sign, the way you imagine my own behaviour to be, doesn't matter to me. you might think that i am saying that in a passive aggressive manner, i can assure you, i'm not. i honestly don't care.

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Posted by gemguyaz34
And that's the problem, here you are running around in circles one moment saying "I don't care about this topic, you imagine what you want to about my sign" etc. Those of us who have had personal experiences do not see the issue looking through rose colored glasses. Nothing is imagined. You guys can be cold and hard to reach at times, my Libra even ADMITTED it a few times! So we do not imagine you are like this, the vibe is totally given off. Insecure, and unwilling to come to the table to discuss or work out a problem even when your S.O. loves you and admits it! Yet you use the "it doesn't bother me" or "I don't care" cop-out to deal with it. No, just easier to run away from the problem. Well it's not. The world doesn't work this way. A normal friendship or relationship, there are bound to be fall-outs. It's normal, you work through it. Nobody is perfect. We know you aren't so why does Libra act like everyone they surround themselves with has to be? It's a very superficial pretense to live by as you only set yourselves up for disappointments.