Relationship Boundaries

Just curious what other Libra guys do. Im a libra and if a girl has a bf I generally dont pursue her any more. Its tough because there have definitely been a few where I thought we were a much better fit than her current, and the opportunity was definitely there, but its an ethics thing with me tbh. The general opinion amongst my friends is im too nice about the situation, and even had a girl tell me that once. What do you guys think or do if your interested in a girl in a current relationship?

I have been told I'm too nice as well but I agree with you. If I am interested in a girl and find out she is in a relationship, I back off. I wouldn't want to be with someone who was "stolen away" from a relationship anyway.

It's not karma.

It's a situation of either learning from history or repeating it.

It's a rare glimpse deep into the other person. If they were dating someone and still pursuing a new relationship... it says a lot about them.

If you pursue them and get them, they will do the same to you. A leopard doesn't change it's spots. When they cheat on you it's not because karma got you, it's just how that person is.

Why chase that?


Also like lookoutbelow said... it's an ethical thing too. It's just wrong.

Notice that's what Aries females tend to do most often.

Yeah thanks guys. I completely agree that if you start a relationship like that your asking for trouble. Just seems like the fire signs take this approach fairly frequently. Had this situation with a Sagittarius recently and it was pretty tough, such a strong connection between us. I just thought to myself, "im not breaking up with your bf for you, cowboy up and do it yourself, then we will talk.." Definitely felt like the right thing to do but alas.... she is still with him...

i'm a libra girl, but i do the same thing. i've had a bunch of guys linger around, as if they expected me to "steal" them away. nope, not gonna happen. if you aren't happy, leave.

libras want partners who want us, specifically. we don't want someone who just wants to be with somebody. that's how it looks (and probably is) when people jump directly from one relationship to another. if you can't handle being single, i don't want you.

Lol nothing new there i been told many time that i'm too nice and will be a wonderful father to my child one day hahaha i wouldn't chase her if she taken.

Pretty clear you Libras ain't gonna steal someone from a relationship.

Now what if you Libra is in a relationship and someone hot wants to steal you away from your relationship..? Does it make a difference..? Take your time to ponder.. 😄 😄 😄

Let me know if you cannot decide to push or pull.. 😛 Honest answers please..

hades

Fair enough QLibraMale... 🙂

Any input from the female Scale, before I move on to another scenario? 😉

hades

female perspective... most likely i'd be tempted, feel guilty, and become even more devoted to a relationship that i probably shouldn't be in, if i were able to be tempted. if i were happy, i wouldn't be tempted at all. but i tend to be oblivious anyways, so it would take me a while to realize my suitor had interests outside of friendship, at which point i'd be horribly offended by his lack of manners and ethics.

but it's worth noting that i've got strong leo and scorp influences. a girl with a sag venus intead of scorp, for example, probably would be more open to making a switch.

wow... yer pretty honest curious visitor... definitely a genuine answer straight from yer heart... logically no one will stray if they're happy... i suppose this is from yer pass experience? 😉

let me add this and tell me whaddya think:
"when yer eyes meet, yer never blink. yer were so shy and might forget how to speak, yer know yer were tempted but will resist if yer guilt becomes unbearable, losing yer sense of direction - end up fleeing without any hint. however if yer suitor decided to back off, yer might wanna get him back"

by the way, i don't get whaddya mean by getting offended at yer suitor for taking interest in yer... why offended while yer can tell him nicely to back off? well this definitely means yer suitor can never end up in friendship. 🙂

hades

correction *past*

alright.. 2nd scenario for QLibraMale but still pretty much the same thing.. others are welcome to try 😄

you are in a (new) relationship and someone hot (your ex that you still haven't get over with) wants you back... this new gal has so much in common with your ex... now what's your thought? 😄 😄

hades

Posted by hades
a
you are in a (new) relationship and someone hot (your ex that you still haven't get over with) wants you back... this new gal has so much in common with your ex... now what's your thought?

First, don't get into a new relationship if you aren't over the old one.

Second, she's an ex for a reason remember that and stick with the new one.

Why warm up left overs if you have a fresh meal right there? Ooooo, I'm going to get yelled at for saying that 🙂

*yelled at LibraSid* Don't change the theme! 😄

In that case, let me include this... your ex dumped you because you cheated and because you yet to get over your ex you move into new relationship that you find so much in common... how's that? 😉

hades

Posted by QLIbraMale

Posted by hades
alright.. 2nd scenario for QLibraMale but still pretty much the same thing.. others are welcome to try 😄

you are in a (new) relationship and someone hot (your ex that you still haven't get over with) wants you back... this new gal has so much in common with your ex... now what's your thought? 😄 😄

hades

honesty i'd try to work it out with new girl an see if she brings something refreshing to our love table. even if she shares similar traits with my ex, everybody different to a degree. i'd also try to avoid certain scenarios that made me an my ex breakup in the 1st place. I'd still miss my exgirlfriend but "Sometimes Opportunities Arrive Beyond Peoples Expectation". So i'd stay committed to new girlfriend in time my exgirlfriend urges would slowly disappear like cotton-candy in your mouth lol. that's the Gist of it Hades.

click to expand

Aah QLibraMale... now that's the problem when you said you would "try" to make things work... you're unsure and you pretty much had a plan B in mind if things doesn't work out right? i trust you're sincere to get things moving but if things doesn't turn out as expected, others would view it otherwise... 😉

hades

Posted by PandorasBox
Hades... Are you tryin to get advice.. Without really gettin advice? Lol.

unfortunately no, you sexy dancing betty boop... i'm not here to get any advice.. i'm trying to understand how you Libra works that angered dear Virgoan... LoL.. you should thank me ya'know? 😛

hades

Posted by hades

Aah QLibraMale... now that's the problem when you said you would "try" to make things work... you're unsure and you pretty much had a plan B in mind if things doesn't work out right? i trust you're sincere to get things moving but if things doesn't turn out as expected, others would view it otherwise... 😉

hades

In all fairness you said the new girl was... new. Of course it's just trying to make it work, it's a new relationship. We aren't married to her. It's not that we necessarily have a plan B, it's just that in a new relationship you don't get ahead of yourself.

This has to be the most frequent complaint I see about us on here. We ARE NOT getting in too fast, it just looks like we are. People always come in here saying how quick we move and then we turn off... we weren't attached in the first place. It was a new relationship. We move quickly to see how it is and if it fits, great; if not, we move on.

Not saying it's right, just that it happens.

Posted by LibraLuv
"This has to be the most frequent complaint I see about us on here. We ARE NOT getting in too fast, it just looks like we are. People always come in here saying how quick we move and then we turn off... we weren't attached in the first place. It was a new relationship. We move quickly to see how it is and if it fits, great; if not, we move on.

Not saying it's right, just that it happens."

I agree with you right here. (female pov)-I live in the moment. I can definitely jump in fast but, it takes a long time for my heart to catch up! Underneath the smile and fun, I'm usually dissecting the person. Sad, I know. It's a protector for me.
please continue....

I totally agree with everything said right there ^^^^

Moving quickly is def not a libra thing and people are always assuming that we do. Just because we experience extreme emotional thoughts and feelings in the beginning they soon pan out when the lows of reality set in to balance us out. The first month can feel like a whirlwind until our feet touch the ground...

Oh and I just wanted to say to the libra men here... Reading your comments makes me proud 😄
What a bunch of respectable gentlemen with high values!!!

LOL LibraSid and all fellow scale... Well I didn't say it's wrong, did i?... I'm just pointing out what others are seeing and helps you understand better the situation... and like it or not, you hafta accept the fact that impression is a result of an expression... you do however, feel it yourself that it does looks like getting in too fast and then you turn off if things doesn't turns out as you've expected... no, i ain't saying you're wrong neither do they who think otherwise...

but hey, what i understood from your statements, you are treating your partner like an object which doesn't have feelings... it's like you go to the mall and put on a shirt which you think might looks good on you... but after trying you didn't like it and you just leave it... yeah, that's a right thing to do when you want something you like and suits you...

now the problem is human ain't no object like a piece of fabric... they do have feelings, agree? and you don't buy a partner... it's something more than that - mutual agreement... if you try putting yourself in this situation, i bet you'd say that's nasty... 🙂 anyway, don't feel offended.. that's your style and if someone dislike it, don't feel grumpy... it's just the style doesn't mesh... 😄

i see that ladies got slightly different thought... it seems like they tend to lose control over their urge in the beginning... yes i do notice this most of the time... 🙂 mmm.. i think i can conclude something from here... thanks 😉

hades

Posted by LibraLuv
Underneath the smile and fun, I'm usually dissecting the person.

Wow LibraLuv... LOL.. you got a Scorp in yer chart too?

Don't worry, that's what a forum for... 😄

hades

I'm not offended or upset at all. You said you wanted to understand how we think so I answered. I know some people aren't going to like it and a lot won't understand it. Hell, it took me 30 years of being me to understand me, I sympathize with anyone starting now ;p

Posted by hades
you do however, feel it yourself that it does looks like getting in too fast and then you turn off if things doesn't turns out as you've expected

For clarity, I don't feel we go in too fast, just that I understand how some people could think that. I don't go in with expectations, maybe that's why it is easy to walk away early if needed. Hopes, sure... expectations, no way.

I don't know, it is hard to explain. I'll go in not holding anything back but if I get to the point I don't think it'll work anymore... why prolong it?

Posted by hades


but hey, what i understood from your statements, you are treating your partner like an object which doesn't have feelings... it's like you go to the mall and put on a shirt which you think might looks good on you... but after trying you didn't like it and you just leave it... yeah, that's a right thing to do when you want something you like and suits you...

now the problem is human ain't no object like a piece of fabric... they do have feelings, agree? and you don't buy a partner... it's something more than that - mutual agreement... if you try putting yourself in this situation, i bet you'd say that's nasty... 🙂 anyway, don't feel offended.. that's your style and if someone dislike it, don't feel grumpy... it's just the style doesn't mesh... 😄



hades

Isn't that what dating is?? Cos I've been tried on for size over 1 - 5 dates and then the conclusion was, it's not there! And that would be by men other than a libra.

Personally I don't see the problem as long as when the person decides that there is no real future with the other that it isn't done in a "nasty" way!

i know ive been to nice and too shy esp. when i was younger. Some people find it easy to act on that rush of heat from being turned on, me it was so much to handle i feel that it was easier for me to pursue a woman i dont want b/c i am numb towards her


now as for your question i have been there and it never stopped me just changed my approach, i wuld act like i just wanted t be friends and try to make her step foward

wow, great inputs... learn a thing or two from you Scales...

@LibraSid: LOL.. glad for you got yourself sorted out.. hope i'm not here to confuse you 😄
BTW, not sure what you really mean but hope & expectation is pretty much the same thing... anyway, i know it's hard to put into words, probably that's something LibraLuv said, some sort of protection mechanism... digest and get back to me after 2 days with good rest.. 😄

@QLibraMale: just curious what you can learn in 2 weeks time and assure yourself future-to-be like... 😉

@sweethearts: i got your Libra's pov... but like i said, we got different opinion on that.. 😉 and you're weighing the wrong point... i'm not referring the problem in dumping someone which you see no future...

@LibraLuv: please keep yer curiosity in check... cuz i ain't telling yer directly... try to look around.. i need some protection as well yer know? that dissecting thinge you mentioned still in my mind.. 😛

well, conclusion is i can consolidate my views base on your feedbacks, and experience i had with my fellow libra buddies and those libra chicks... don't worry, it wasn't something bad... i'm a fair person 😉

@PrideofOct: welcome... i suggest you to learn some self control instead getting yourself messed up... 🙂

@QLibraMale: it still sounds pretty vague to gauge the compatibility in 2 weeks time... LoL.. idk, some sort of protection strategy? you put this expectation for 2 weeks and if they're met, it's a go.. Else, it's a no-go?

hades

@QLibraMale: idk if you ever get bored with your favorite dishes.. 😄 i personally do feel it that way... my taste changed, and sometimes i might like the old dishes sometimes might not at all.... LOL, maybe it's just me idk... do you get what i mean? 😉 so now what, when your taste changed? or your food changed? LOL...

yeah, i agree some people might take a decade to know if they're being taken advantage... but i believe to some extent some people choose to stay and try to get things work when they started to see their food turn tasteless... and your style pretty much i can say is useful to identify a good match and save you from heartache.. however, i don't see what it can tell you in the long haul since people changed over time or under certain circumstances... for me, i deal with each person according to the situation... pretty flexi.. so it really depends whether it worth the heartache or not....

and to be fair, not everyone is moving the same pace as you... some are slower in showing their affection... some might be hot and cold...

hades

@PandorasBox: idk PB... can you tell me where is the placement? 🙂

@LibraLuv: OMG you read all those junk in there? LOL... it was supposed to be much longer but somehow some posts went missing... anyway thanks for spending your time there... 😛

honestly... you are searching way too hard dear... i suggest you try looking at some other place... 🙂 you got my Sun, Moon, Venus & Mars... and now you want my Mercury... take another hint, there's only 2 signs are good at communicating and governs by Mercury... LOL i said too much...

yeah, wassup with my Asian culture and gemini style of writting? had something to do with the way i converse? 😄

hades

Opps... this is way too far from the topic... LibraLuv, please start a new thread..

hades

@QLibraMale: Have you been drinking, son? Haha LMAO.... so what's in the menu for dessert? LOL..

hades