AliCat76
@AliCat76
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 2 · Topics: 1
Should I dump this Libra guy?
You already answered your own question Hun...Especially if the contact has pretty much ceased. Seems like he wanted, and got the cookies and now he's on to the next conquest. And Yes, Libra's can be flirty, but it depends on the situation. Sometimes even our sheer politeness and common courtesy can be misconstrued as flirting, but it's definitely not always the case. However, clearly this dude had another agenda. You said he apologized, so I dunno if he's waiting for you to make the next move or what, but if your intuition is telling you something different, then let it guide you. Plus, you're a Capricorn and when you guys really like someone, you go all in and maybe he caught onto that and is taking you for granted or just not interested anymore. Either way, do you and keep it moving either forward or backwards...your choice.
Posted by virgoyum
I'm sorry, I'm still on the part where you quit your job. 😢
HaHaHa!! It's ok. I was bored with the workload and distracted with my feelings for him. My new job offered me a 6 figure salary. Hell yeah I quit. :-)
I admit I do have a bit of the sads. We Capricorns do not let people in easily. Never dated a Libra before and since I've known him for almost 2 years that charm and outgoing personality pulled me in. I miss our friendship most. I'm just not comfortable constantly seeing the man I am dating going out to lunch with the same female coworker he just met and basically replaced me with her. Yeah I'm not going to call him. Oh well I'll get over it.
Posted by AliCat76
I'm just not comfortable constantly seeing the man I am dating going out to lunch with the same female coworker he just met and basically replaced me with her. Yeah I'm not going to call him. Oh well I'll get over it.
It's just lunch though. You just said it yourself, he's got charm and an outgoing personality. He's hardly going to sit in the corner at lunch avoiding all eye contact with other women so he could honour your memory.
Posted by AliCat76Even though he apologized in the text I get the feeling he loves attention from any woman and I really was not even special to him. Why else would he start having lunch with this new woman so quickly?
ding ding ding!
Can someone help me understand if this is just traits of an innocent flirty Libra man or did he lose interest in me after we became romantic? He has not called since that day and I know I will have to reach out to him. I don't even know if he is worth it at this point.click to expand
I really don't think he is. I dated a Libra like this- surrounded himself with insane amounts of female friends. I realized real quick that he's just obsessed with having ANY female attention and the only time he'd give me the time of day is if nobody else was around to entertain his mommy issues.
One, don't quit your job over a dude. Not worth it. I mean really, you weren't even seriously dating and you up and changed an aspect of YOUR life for this guy.
Two, I think you need to follow your gut on this one. The fact that he froze when you saw him says a lot. If he really is innocent and isn't jerking you around, he wouldn't have reacted like that. Actions always speak volumes about a guy's behavior/intent.
It's hard to say. I like attention, sure..who doesn't. Yes I've gone to lunch with several different female coworkers. It's just lunch though, yes I've gone to lunch with guys from work too.
You quit your job just because you liked someone? That seems like over reacting. You weren't boyfriend girlfriend, you weren't even sleeping together. That's a lot of pressure on first date, "I quit my job for you".
Anyway, you dated a few times, had sex, then he became less attentive. If you think his lack of attentiveness is from this new woman, tell him you don't like it and see what he says. Of course, you're kinda past that now...
From his pov, if he was honest...
He went to lunch. A co-worker asked to join him. The woman he's been getting to know is there and blows up. He texts to apologize and is ignored. He calls twice more that day and is ignored. I wouldnt call no more either...
I don't know from the detail in the OP, you have to decide of u trust him or not. Nothing you said is damning. It's all circumstantial at best.
You quit your job just because you liked someone? That seems like over reacting. You weren't boyfriend girlfriend, you weren't even sleeping together. That's a lot of pressure on first date, "I quit my job for you".
Anyway, you dated a few times, had sex, then he became less attentive. If you think his lack of attentiveness is from this new woman, tell him you don't like it and see what he says. Of course, you're kinda past that now...
From his pov, if he was honest...
He went to lunch. A co-worker asked to join him. The woman he's been getting to know is there and blows up. He texts to apologize and is ignored. He calls twice more that day and is ignored. I wouldnt call no more either...
I don't know from the detail in the OP, you have to decide of u trust him or not. Nothing you said is damning. It's all circumstantial at best.
Reading the rest of the comments, I'm with virgoyum.
If I'm talking to a new lady, and we have sex... does that mean I can no longer communicate with other females? Not even coworkers?
How many times did you and he go to lunch where you'd have considered it innocent or just coworkers talking? You've worked with him a while and it sounds like the potential for a relationship is a new development. Don't suddenly assume he's fucking every woman he talks to or goes to lunch with.
As to him freezing when he saw you...maybe he knew you were gonna freak out like you did. Even if he wasn't doing anything "wrong". That would make me stop in my tracks and have an "oh shit" look on my face.
If I'm talking to a new lady, and we have sex... does that mean I can no longer communicate with other females? Not even coworkers?
How many times did you and he go to lunch where you'd have considered it innocent or just coworkers talking? You've worked with him a while and it sounds like the potential for a relationship is a new development. Don't suddenly assume he's fucking every woman he talks to or goes to lunch with.
As to him freezing when he saw you...maybe he knew you were gonna freak out like you did. Even if he wasn't doing anything "wrong". That would make me stop in my tracks and have an "oh shit" look on my face.
If he was not officially your man and no conversation was had about being exclusive then you are —officially tripping?? and need to simmer down. Single people do —single?? things. NOW, the engaged woman however is very inappropriate in my opinion. If I'm engaged; I'm not having lunch with another man unless we are in a group setting or unless I knew the man prior to my engagement. I just love how he tried to throw her having a man in there to help his case, lol. Typical Leeb feeling guilt. He's not guilty of playing you or anything of the sort, he's feeling guilty because it was probably written all over your face that he hurt your feelings. Leebs don't like hurting people.
And you are absolutely correct, you will have to reach out to him if you want to hear from or see him again. Ignoring his attempts to cool the air says to him that you need space and will come around when you feel better, and he's going to let you do just that. In my opinion though you need to fall back a bit, unless you are ready to start over and be friends first with him. You gave up the goodies, so you??re in your feelings and that's normal for most women, but don't blame him because he didn't force them off. You need to come in peace, and see what it is that he's looking for. Honestly I feel you should??ve had the —what are we?? conversation before laying down with him. But that's my opinion.
And you are absolutely correct, you will have to reach out to him if you want to hear from or see him again. Ignoring his attempts to cool the air says to him that you need space and will come around when you feel better, and he's going to let you do just that. In my opinion though you need to fall back a bit, unless you are ready to start over and be friends first with him. You gave up the goodies, so you??re in your feelings and that's normal for most women, but don't blame him because he didn't force them off. You need to come in peace, and see what it is that he's looking for. Honestly I feel you should??ve had the —what are we?? conversation before laying down with him. But that's my opinion.
Posted by LibraSid
Reading the rest of the comments, I'm with virgoyum.
If I'm talking to a new lady, and we have sex... does that mean I can no longer communicate with other females? Not even coworkers?
How many times did you and he go to lunch where you'd have considered it innocent or just coworkers talking? You've worked with him a while and it sounds like the potential for a relationship is a new development. Don't suddenly assume he's fucking every woman he talks to or goes to lunch with.
As to him freezing when he saw you...maybe he knew you were gonna freak out like you did. Even if he wasn't doing anything "wrong". That would make me stop in my tracks and have an "oh shit" look on my face.
+1
Agreed with this approach too. She's basically on a whole other page than this guy already. He's somewhere else and she's a few pages ahead, acting as if they're a couple.
However, I can't help but think he's led her on a tad with the understanding that there's "more" to be had and they're taking it slow. Dude decides to back off and starts hanging out with another chick who's more convenient? That would confuse anyone- you're doing x,y,z, and now that they've had sex and she's gone to another job, his behavior starts changing. She's right to be questioning wtf is going on.
Either way, it sounds like she needs to back off a bit since they clearly aren't on the same wavelength of where this is going.
I don't know rocky, I think she made the common mistake of thinking that just because your spending time with a guy and you have sex that he's now supposed to only deal with her. Plus he tried to apologize for making her uncomfortable. He didn't have to do that because he is a single man and can take any woman he wants to lunch, I think he's just sorry she had to see it as if he was trying to throw the other woman in her face.
Maybe it's because I??ve experienced the other end of the stick and I'm dealing with it from a Gemini right now and we haven't even had sex. Sheesh. When people like you and I mean really like you they tend to up their expectations of you without telling you, and it's simply not fair. She needs to have a genuine conversation with him and tell him what it is that she wants and see if he wants the same. I also think she needs to tell him she appreciates his efforts to reach out to her at the time, but she was too confused and upset to respond; however she thinks its best that they lay down what they want and decide if they should even move forward, or just be friends. Guessing and assuming is not getting her anywhere; and it never will with an Air sign. Anyone on this board can protest to that, especially with a flirty aloof Libra man.
Maybe it's because I??ve experienced the other end of the stick and I'm dealing with it from a Gemini right now and we haven't even had sex. Sheesh. When people like you and I mean really like you they tend to up their expectations of you without telling you, and it's simply not fair. She needs to have a genuine conversation with him and tell him what it is that she wants and see if he wants the same. I also think she needs to tell him she appreciates his efforts to reach out to her at the time, but she was too confused and upset to respond; however she thinks its best that they lay down what they want and decide if they should even move forward, or just be friends. Guessing and assuming is not getting her anywhere; and it never will with an Air sign. Anyone on this board can protest to that, especially with a flirty aloof Libra man.
Nah, she said "WE were taking it slow." I'm assuming there was some sort of understanding of what was going on, especially since she came forward about why she quit and how she felt. He proceeded to go out with her a few times and slept with her.
Now he's spending more time with another chick and distancing himself?
I don't blame her confusion. Side with him and make him to be the innocent one, but I call bullshit.
Now he's spending more time with another chick and distancing himself?
I don't blame her confusion. Side with him and make him to be the innocent one, but I call bullshit.
I'm torn. We still haven't gotten an answer to this though:
Is the "lack of attention" simply because they don't see each other at work everyday now?
How quick after the taking it slow talk did you sleep together?
How soon after you slept together did you blow up on him at lunch?
Was there a "what are we" anywhere since the taking it slow talk?
The answers to these questions could swing an answer alot.
I side with the guy because nothing so far has been damning. All he did is go to lunch with multiple coworkers. Since there's limited facts about his behavior I have to substitute how I think or would act. To me, going to lunch with someone doesn't matter. Even if he really likes PuppyPuddles why can't he go to lunch with his coworker? She said her new job is close and they still go together too.
Posted by Sugarfoot
What do you mean when you said you started to notice he wasn't as attentive as before? Did he stop doing something he was doing before?
Is the "lack of attention" simply because they don't see each other at work everyday now?
How quick after the taking it slow talk did you sleep together?
How soon after you slept together did you blow up on him at lunch?
Was there a "what are we" anywhere since the taking it slow talk?
The answers to these questions could swing an answer alot.
I side with the guy because nothing so far has been damning. All he did is go to lunch with multiple coworkers. Since there's limited facts about his behavior I have to substitute how I think or would act. To me, going to lunch with someone doesn't matter. Even if he really likes PuppyPuddles why can't he go to lunch with his coworker? She said her new job is close and they still go together too.
I still say if he's single he did a single person act. If she wanted him as her man she should've asked.
When your kicking it with someone you have free range to date and talk to whoever you want unless they make it clear they want to be exclusive.
When your kicking it with someone you have free range to date and talk to whoever you want unless they make it clear they want to be exclusive.
Posted by AliCat76Posted by virgoyum
I'm sorry, I'm still on the part where you quit your job. 😢
HaHaHa!! It's ok. I was bored with the workload and distracted with my feelings for him. My new job offered me a 6 figure salary. Hell yeah I quit. :-)
I admit I do have a bit of the sads. We Capricorns do not let people in easily. Never dated a Libra before and since I've known him for almost 2 years that charm and outgoing personality pulled me in. I miss our friendship most. I'm just not comfortable constantly seeing the man I am dating going out to lunch with the same female coworker he just met and basically replaced me with her. Yeah I'm not going to call him. Oh well I'll get over it.click to expand
Can you help me get a job?!?!
I was mostly joking but 6 figs! Girl don't worry about him you're doing very well for yourself 🙂
I slightly agree, except the part about him needing to come after her. My guess is he won't, and if he does do it; it will not be direct because she rejected his attempts to apologize and clear the air. A libra will not chase a person they think wants space or is no longer interested. It just won't happen. It throws us off, and we don't like rejection in the slightest form.
So that being said, if she wants to hear from him she will have to reach out to him if only to let him know she's no longer upset and would like to clear the air, not so much as start back —kicking it?? but would like to be cordial. At least he would know she does not hate his guts, but I can almost bet he is not going to hit her up again not because she meant nothing but because he feels she is angry with him or that he blew whatever chances they had.
I was talking to a Capricorn once, and the first time we were hanging out he was tickling me (mind you I said our FIRST time EVER hanging out) I laughed so hard and called him someone else by accident. He looked so hurt I wanted to run away instantly, but instead I tried to act like I didn't hear myself lol (stupid I know) but I was too late he was obviously pissed. After I apologized and made it clear who the person was and that it's not someone I'm dating he pretended like he was over it to get through the night, but after that night I never heard from him again. I tried to reach out twice and when he finally responded he was so dry and nasty I said to myself —f**k it?? it's not like we were sexing when I said it, and we barely talked before then so if he got —that?? offended, then oh well. I left it alone and still have zero intentions on reaching out, and I genuinely liked him, but I was honest and apologized and it wasn't enough so oh well.
So that being said, if she wants to hear from him she will have to reach out to him if only to let him know she's no longer upset and would like to clear the air, not so much as start back —kicking it?? but would like to be cordial. At least he would know she does not hate his guts, but I can almost bet he is not going to hit her up again not because she meant nothing but because he feels she is angry with him or that he blew whatever chances they had.
I was talking to a Capricorn once, and the first time we were hanging out he was tickling me (mind you I said our FIRST time EVER hanging out) I laughed so hard and called him someone else by accident. He looked so hurt I wanted to run away instantly, but instead I tried to act like I didn't hear myself lol (stupid I know) but I was too late he was obviously pissed. After I apologized and made it clear who the person was and that it's not someone I'm dating he pretended like he was over it to get through the night, but after that night I never heard from him again. I tried to reach out twice and when he finally responded he was so dry and nasty I said to myself —f**k it?? it's not like we were sexing when I said it, and we barely talked before then so if he got —that?? offended, then oh well. I left it alone and still have zero intentions on reaching out, and I genuinely liked him, but I was honest and apologized and it wasn't enough so oh well.
I read these forums and others and sometimes I thank god I am not a man. Some of you women make it so hard to have a relationship with you. I pity the men that have to put up with all of it.
Posted by pinklibra
I slightly agree, except the part about him needing to come after her. My guess is he won't, and if he does do it; it will not be direct because she rejected his attempts to apologize and clear the air. A libra will not chase a person they think wants space or is no longer interested. It just won't happen. It throws us off, and we don't like rejection in the slightest form.
So that being said, if she wants to hear from him she will have to reach out to him if only to let him know she's no longer upset and would like to clear the air, not so much as start back —kicking it?? but would like to be cordial. At least he would know she does not hate his guts, but I can almost bet he is not going to hit her up again not because she meant nothing but because he feels she is angry with him or that he blew whatever chances they had.
+1
Posted by LibraSid
I'm torn. We still haven't gotten an answer to this though:
Posted by Sugarfoot
What do you mean when you said you started to notice he wasn't as attentive as before? Did he stop doing something he was doing before?
Is the "lack of attention" simply because they don't see each other at work everyday now?
How quick after the taking it slow talk did you sleep together?
How soon after you slept together did you blow up on him at lunch?
Was there a "what are we" anywhere since the taking it slow talk?
The answers to these questions could swing an answer alot.
I side with the guy because nothing so far has been damning. All he did is go to lunch with multiple coworkers. Since there's limited facts about his behavior I have to substitute how I think or would act. To me, going to lunch with someone doesn't matter. Even if he really likes PuppyPuddles why can't he go to lunch with his coworker? She said her new job is close and they still go together too.click to expand
Where did you get multiple people from? She said he's been going to lunch a lot with this engaged chick and that's why she has an issue. She feels replaced.
Also, puppypuddles was the Leo in ANOTHER thread, guys. Alicat is the OP in this post. Jebus Sid, quit drinking and posting.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Also, puppypuddles was the Leo in ANOTHER thread, guys. Alicat is the OP in this post. Jebus Sid, quit drinking and posting.
Oops...
Eh, don't sweat the small stuff...
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Where did you get multiple people from? She said he's been going to lunch a lot with this engaged chick and that's why she has an issue. She feels replaced.click to expand
Multiple just being two. He had been going to lunch with Alicat when she worked there. Then she quits. A new woman starts. He goes to lunch with the new coworker. I really don't see the problem.
The dude is still going to lunch with Alicat too according to the first post. She wasn't replaced she is just controlling. It's the same as the post a few back where the woman said her guy can't even talk to her friends. It's horseshit. One of the things they fell in love/lust with their libra for was his social and communication skills. Now you get all insecure because he STILL talks to any/every one.
Dammit, quote fail!
Close enough...
Close enough...
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I started to notice he was not as attentive anymore. I asked about my replacement and he told me another female. For some reason red flags went off in my head. He told me he took her out to lunch on her first day. He said she is engaged and I have no reason to be jealous. Well the other day I went to lunch and guess who walks in. My guy and his new coworker. He froze when he saw me and I was just so hurt that he has started spending so much time with this woman. He came over and tried to ease my mind by saying "Hey why didn't you call me back last night?". I just kind of ignored him. I got up and left. He sent me a text message saying this "I would like to apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable. I got up to go to lunch and she asked where I was going and wanted to come." I didn't respond and he tried calling me twice that day but I didn't pick up.
I'm a Capricorn and take everything to heart. Even though he apologized in the text I get the feeling he loves attention from any woman and I really was not even special to him. Why else would he start having lunch with this new woman so quickly?
Can someone help me understand if this is just traits of an innocent flirty Libra man or did he lose interest in me after we became romantic? He has not called since that day and I know I will have to reach out to him. I don't even know if he is worth it at this point.