So confusing, Friend , Boyfriend-ughhhh

HELP!! lol
Me and my Libra"friend" got into a BIG fight Tuesday night to where he said "he was done" and told me Goodbye but by yesterday morning we had patched things up and everything is good again .

But yesterday as we were discussing why we were fighting to begin with he said to me I never said I was your boyfriend ( I have 2 messages on my phone from differnet dates , from him that say, "this is your boyfriend -call me back". I was under the impression he was working towards becoming my boyfriend by saying things like that to me) He always says he "is" my boyfriend and never remembers saying it, but technicly he isnt. We talk almost everyday but he lives about an hour and a half away from each other so we dont get to see each other very often , I would LOVE if he was my "boyfriend" but he really isnt.

Anyway, after he said Im not your boyfriend , I say to him, "I care about you alot... you are such a "good friend" to me". and then he turns around and says to me , "I thought I was more to you than just a friend. I thought of myself as more than just a friend to you"

What the heck does that mean?? lol

He just told me he wasnt my boyfriend but then when i say ok your a good friend he turns around and says I thought I was more to you than that——.
Isnt a step up from just a friend a boyfriend or S.O.?
He confuses the crap out of me - so I just said Ok you are more to me than just a friend you are one of my best friends ... lol

what was his response to you replying that he's your best friend?

He didnt say anything -lol
We just started talking about something else.
(He and I can talk about everything!!! and I mean everything)

apparently not if there was a disconnect on where the two of you stood.

he sounds wishy washy.

oh wait, he's a Libra.

LOL...

LOL- true.
I just go with the flow...🙂

Looooolllaaaaa, wait a minute, don't get tooooo caught up in it quite yet. Have ya read Chatz story— It seems Leos are so commited when attracted and really want someone that they shut off all other possibilities, might not be the best choice right now. Until he confirms his status with you. YOU ARE a free agent, so act accordingly to protect your heart. I don't wanna hear this same story a year from now. LOL!!!

If he was ready and wanted to be your boyfriend right now he would say just that.
My libra friend and I (we were casual at the time - FWB) talked every day, a couple times a day and worked out in the morning together 4-5 days a week, but at the time, neither of us was at a stage of being emotionally available for a "relationship" we adored eachother and had the best sex, whew!!! But then again he is a libra 🙂. However, we never got to "relationship" status, he got emotional about me when I wasn't and I about him later then he wasn't. So we stayed friends. Nothing more.

Just be sure.

Thank you QS ((hugs))
Yes, sometimes I hate being a Leo-lol
I decided about a month ago to just go along with my business and see what happens with him. I am open to see other people if someone else comes around- Just noone else coming around now 🙂

ohhh and he is very jelous. I told him I was going on a date about 3 weeks ago and he got mad but then said, "I cant say anything to you about it-who am I to say anything"

yes, mine gets jealous too. sounds that mine hides it better than this guy.

I have a small jealous streak too though-most times I can contain it but sometimes I just cant..
3 weeks after I told him I was going on a date he hardly talked to me and then finally said I miss you -how was your date?? lol

I sometimes think you guys get confused between jealousy and upset at being manipulated. He isn't your boyfriend. therefore you are allowed to date other people. He is probably dating other people.

From my point of view, when someone says oh I am going on a date with someone else ... it is pressure for a relationship and a commitment. It is a total game. You only say it to get a response.

Becareful though .... it would also be a good way for me to say ... oh yeah .... go for it.

Becareful the games you play.

***ohhh and he is very jelous. I told him I was going on a date about 3 weeks ago and he got mad but then said, "I cant say anything to you about it-who am I to say anything"***


Pulling Lola's coat tail again. Well early on with my libra friend, I was going to Vegas to a friends wedding I was in. He said " Wow, wish I could go, I might get jealous" We were only friends and had only been acquainted a couple month. I ignored he comment. He was serious to an extent, but knew he didn't have the right. However, yours might really mean "he can't say anything about it" than actually being jealous. He might have said that to make you think he was. Like LS said, they can be a littl minipulative.

***littl minipulative***

little manipulative... Geeeze.

* Like LS said, they can be a littl minipulative.

No. I am saying he is being manipulated and probably doesn't like it. He knows, because they aren't exclusive, that she is dating other people. Rubbing his nose in it is kinda manipulative. They aren't exclusive therefore he can't say anything about it. Probably because he is also dating other people but not broadcasting it because it is just assumed. Saying it is using the other person you are dating as a weapon.

I think it is fine to say Until we become exclusive I am going to be dating other people then never mentioning it again. You don't have to announce every date because it is really manipulative. She knew he would be thinking about her and upset all night. That is why she did it.

LS is right...when you say comments like "Fred called today and asked me to do something" or "I'm going to go out with this guy I met from church, work, etc"...you're setting a landmine for yourself. Don't say that unless it's 1) true and 2) you are fully ready to accept the consequences it MAY bring.

Ohh.... well i see what you guys are saying
I dont play games though and I didnt mean it as a game..I am way too honest and I didnt see a point in lying about it.

*I think it is fine to say Until we become exclusive I am going to be dating other people then never mentioning it again. You don't have to announce every date because it is really manipulative. She knew he would be thinking about her and upset all night. That is why she did it.

Not at all - I said it because why lie about it.

***No. I am saying he is being manipulated and probably doesn't like it. He knows, because they aren't exclusive, that she is dating other people. Rubbing his nose in it is kinda manipulative.***

What I am saying is his comment *** I can't say anything to you about it-who am I to say anything" is also manipulative... Making her feel he is jealous, oh and lets not forget about "How was your date?"

Dealing with Libra men as long as I have, trust, they can definitely be manipulative, subtly though.

Ex: Libra friend called me, I was busy, I called the next day (this is when we were FWB) he said oh I have company coming over (as in a woman) I thought you weren't available. = Jealousy and manipulativity. Ironically and surprisingly I didn't get angry, because unbeknowing to him, I too was on a date when he called, so, fair game. He later acted funny about the fact I wasn't available when he called.

***She knew he would be thinking about her and upset all night. That is why she did it.***

Why should he be? They aren't exclusive... Again, also, manipulative to act as he doesn't care and to ponder over it and be upset... Games.

Queen!

I have to run off right now or I will be late. Hopefully I remember to check in here tomorrow. I have a few thoughts.

NIGHT!

xox

"Looooolllaaaaa, wait a minute, don't get tooooo caught up in it quite yet. Have ya read Chatz story— It seems Leos are so commited when attracted and really want someone that they shut off all other possibilities, might not be the best choice right now. Until he confirms his status with you. YOU ARE a free agent, so act accordingly to protect your heart. I don't wanna hear this same story a year from now. LOL!!"

UH HUH!!!!

Problem with that is that once a Leo shuts off from being "in love" with somebody that's it...we're done!! It might take a LONG, LONG, LONG and painful amount of time but we wouldn't go back once we have healed and been with somebody else.

I've heard so many times that you can be in a FWB situation with a Libra, you can have huge fights, become friends and then down the track lovers again and even be exclusive and get married but Im not sure whether a Leo could do it that way at all. We give and expect loyalty...to go and become "an item" after being together and then playing the field again?? hard for Leos to do. I guess that is why its hard for us Leos to let go in the first place.....we leave the door open for a very long time to allow everybody to "lick their wounds" but if the other chooses not to walk through the door in time, we close it for good

My $ 0.02 worth 🙂

***Problem with that is that once a Leo shuts off from being "in love" with somebody that's it...we're done!! It might take a LONG, LONG, LONG and painful amount of time but we wouldn't go back once we have healed and been with somebody else.***

I am kind of like that but the other person has to do something really bad to me not to consider ever caring about them again. Once I love someone I pretty much always have a love for them in some kind of way.

Some people -- maybe all people -- want to have their cake and eat it, too. Obviously your man isn't ready to commit to the whole boyfriend thing, but he definitely wants to be someone special in your life, and you are special to him, though he won't commit to those feelings either.

I agree with all the comment about not rubbing his or your nose in it. Maybe you guys are dating other people -- fine -- you don't have to tell the other about it. It's known...unspoken.

In dealing with my Libra's recent evasiveness, I decided one thing. I do not ever want to get in a screaming fight, name calling, pissiness, etc. even if I have the right to. I know from my former marriage that this kind of behavior is demoralising for both people involved. So I simply told him that his behavior was bad, that I really liked him, in a calm tone of voice. Then I got off the phone and made plans to go out this weekend.

Well, he called, apologised, and made plans with me, but that doesn't change my plans for the weekend 😉 However, I have the feeling that Libras respect goodness, perhaps more than most signs. He's already told me how important my "goodness" is to him, and I feel that by treating him with kindness, I am being more truly myself.

Goes without saying that "goodness" is something other good people gravitate towards....I think most people when they aren't being reasonable would be amazed at how well you handled the situation above and calmness almost always wins over screaming/bitching/fighting, etc. Time also cools these situations.

I also had a disagreement with Libra...I told him some home truths....he didnt like it and said "there's no way we can keep in touch now" but I explained to him in a much nicer and reasonable way what I actually meant (I made my point but in a better way and I did learn a lot from this experience) and because I made that effort we will remain friends but for the time being we need to keep our distance....too many feelings there still.

"Some people -- maybe all people -- want to have their cake and eat it, too. Obviously your man isn't ready to commit to the whole boyfriend thing, but he definitely wants to be someone special in your life, and you are special to him, though he won't commit to those feelings either"

ABSOLUTELY

Without getting into all the details and making a LONG story short, as of Tuesday the 28th of Nov.. we are no longer speaking or friends.

Talk about manipulative.
The Libra I was interested in made all these open ended promises that he never came through on , and he lied so much to me .. (This is what hurts me the most. Why lie?/)

He "made up a story" that caused him and I to get into a BIG fight and then turned it around on me as if I did something wrong. He told me if I didnt trust him or If I thought he was a liar we were through , meanwhile he was lieing straight to my face as he was telling me that( thats the problem-I believed EVERYTHING he ever told me)

I was sick over this and him not wanting to be my friend anymore over something I thought I did to him..It really hurt me. The next day i find out he made it all up so he could be "in a Relationship" with another woman that he had met 2 weeks prior. If thats what he wanted that is fine by me but the way he went about it, lieing to me, and making me feel as if I did something wrong was unbelievable to me. He was such a "beautiful lie". 😢

He was also suppose to go to a wedding with me on the 1st of Dec and I ended up having to pay for his plate and a hotel room that noone ever stayed in.

This really dosnt come down to being a libra or a certain sign ..this comes down to a persons character and this guy was a Jerk and most likely will continue to be a player and use that Libra charm to get what he wants..I just wish he wasnt so convincing for the last 6 months-always saying the right thing to keep me around...
Sorry for venting but I had to let it out.

((lola)))

I am sorry honey.

Aww thank you LS - Ill just me more careful for now on.. HUGE lesson learned.

It sounds to me like you are both waiting for the other to give in and let go first emotionally. He is looking for you to say you want to be with him and you are looking for him to say I either do or don't want to be with you (but secretly you do).

It sounds to me like you are playing with him a little (mentioning your going on a date)...and he is trying to say back the truck up I like you we just need to get on the same wavelength about this.

Nic- I wish that was the case but he was just keeping me as an option in case the other didnt work out. He just got caught and now he is angry.

Sorry to hear Lola, things happen for a reason. He didn't deserve you.

Thanks QS ((hugs)) I wonder if he'll ever try to contact me again. We ended things really badly ... I would love to hear an "Im sorry" from him but I doubt that will happen . And just to mention, this guy is 41 years old not some kid.. So disappointing.

irishlibra, if he ever gets in a category... Or should I say you have sex, make sure he wants to be your boyfriend (since you don't believe in FWB. Which is clearly what the last scorp considered the two of you and you got upset about it.) or don't have sex with him until or if you two are committed. It is okay not to want to be FWB with anyone, but make it clear so that they get the message before they assume. It will save you a ton of drama.