This can drive me nuts....

Ok so this is a re-post. But I wanted to see what the Libras had to say about this one:

The BF is a Cap rising, and a Libra Sun. For a couple of weeks he'll want to hide - stay in - etc. Then all of the sudden he'll get like a hair or something up his you-know-what... and now it's time to be social. I normally don't mind either way, but what really gets me angry is when we have been at home for a while, and he suddenly wants to go to a party alone. We live together and it drives me bat s^ $ % when he does this so unexpectedly. The constant tipping back and forth drives me crazy. It's been two years and this sudden detachment always catches me off guard.

It seems that once his happens and I start to plan and set myself up for my own little agenda - he suddenly wants to be with me. (ex: a business trip a few weeks ago would have left us apart for an entire week. I planned on staying home and was looking forward to doing my own thing... BUT - he insisted that I go along?! So I ended up sitting in a hotel room for an entire week just for him)

I find it incredibly rude. Going out with your buds and getting a beer after work is something I could care less about. But a party? Honestly - I know how Libras flirt, and even though it's "harmless" it's wrong. Sorry guys. I tried to play his game once a couple years ago back when we first dated, and he FLIPPED out. I can't help but think a part of him is selective about when/where I go. Almost as if it's a place where he feels he wants the limelight... I'm off limits. I know that often times I out-shine him. But honestly - he needs to get over it.

Overall, it truly seems that he wants me to be there when he wants me to be, and during the time he doesn't - I should be on the side lines waiting? I love this guy - but it's like something with him every 3 months or so. It's driving me up the wall.

Posted by sucha_d0ll
Ok so this is a re-post. But I wanted to see what the Libras had to say about this one:

The BF is a Cap rising, and a Libra Sun. For a couple of weeks he'll want to hide - stay in - etc. Then all of the sudden he'll get like a hair or something up his you-know-what... and now it's time to be social. I normally don't mind either way, but what really gets me angry is when we have been at home for a while, and he suddenly wants to go to a party alone. We live together and it drives me bat s^ $ % when he does this so unexpectedly. The constant tipping back and forth drives me crazy. It's been two years and this sudden detachment always catches me off guard.

It seems that once his happens and I start to plan and set myself up for my own little agenda - he suddenly wants to be with me. (ex: a business trip a few weeks ago would have left us apart for an entire week. I planned on staying home and was looking forward to doing my own thing... BUT - he insisted that I go along?! So I ended up sitting in a hotel room for an entire week just for him)

I find it incredibly rude. Going out with your buds and getting a beer after work is something I could care less about. But a party? Honestly - I know how Libras flirt, and even though it's "harmless" it's wrong. Sorry guys. I tried to play his game once a couple years ago back when we first dated, and he FLIPPED out. I can't help but think a part of him is selective about when/where I go. Almost as if it's a place where he feels he wants the limelight... I'm off limits. I know that often times I out-shine him. But honestly - he needs to get over it.

Overall, it truly seems that he wants me to be there when he wants me to be, and during the time he doesn't - I should be on the side lines waiting? I love this guy - but it's like something with him every 3 months or so. It's driving me up the wall.

He wants you as his momma.. unconditional love.
Perhaps you need to point it out to him, else he will never know how you feel.
But be gentle about your expectation of fairness.

This might get long, I don't know yet. But you might find it interesting, sucha.

Sounds a lot like my Libra... also Cap Rising (FML lol!)... does yours also have a (nit-picky) Virgo Moon and/or (jealous!) Leo Venus? What a pain in the ass combo! heh

We used to go out together most weekends, have lots of fun together. He's a typical social butterfly Libra, and always LOVED that all of his friends end up adoring me.. I'm fun and funny, very witty and smart and just generally add to the good time. He LOVED showing me off; I made him look good, and I don't mind that. Also, I DO flirt a bit, and damn his petty annoyances over it.. goose and gander, don't point your finger at me when you're worse LOL

Then Libra started working 2nd shift, and work's about 25 miles away.. so when he gets out after midnight on Fridays, he often goes out with his work buddies. It's a long ways to drive just to come pick me up that late, so it makes more sense for him to just have his fun closer to work. No big deal, I'm very relaxed about that. They'd get off work and go to a couple different local places... until I found out that the regular bartender at one asked him if Carol (a girl they work with) was his gf, cuz she's the one usually with the group. Now, I kept my cool, but expressed to him how upset that made me and how much it hurt that the staff there didn't even know me because they never met me! He was apologetic, hadn't even thought of that, and a couple weekends later and several times since then, we'd find a way to arrange for me to be there too. Cool, right? Yeah, for awhile.

Until it started cutting into my whole weekend. They'd go out Friday, I'm 25 miles away, they'd all move the after party to Tim's house (close by)... and I might see Libra Sat afternoon. Then it got pushed to maybe Sunday. So I sat all weekend, he hung with buddies.. and worse, was "partied out" and just wanted to lie around recovering until work on Monday afternoon. And when I'd say something, Libra was baffled, "But.. I see you every day during the week! I'm home every single night!" Reminding him that coming home around 1am, eating the dinner I made him, reading the paper, watching some TV, and MAYBE sexing me a bit if not too tired, sleeping until time to get ready for work again.. not exactly "quality time" if that's what it is all week long, and weekends are for going out.. without me.

Talking didn't seem to help much -- he seemed to have this notion I was jealous and didn't want him having fun with friends, esp cuz he's such a flirt. And he's agree we need more quality FUN together.. but nothing changed. So I tried something new, and it works beautifully. I took responsibility for MYSELF, for doing things that FEEL GOOD.. and sitting around waiting to see if he'll be home doesn't feel good. Like last night for example... I was getting antsy again.. *I* haven't been out in 3 weeks... and here we are, another Friday when he and Tim will probably run amok. Fine. So I texted him at work, "I feel stir-crazy and I'd like to get out of the house tonight. Are you going out w/ buddies after work? If you are, I'll find something to do, so let me know please. I'm broke, but I drink water anyway lol" Now, we'd been texting back and forth like regular.. but after that.. silence for 27 mins. (lol) Then he finally sent back, "Tim wanted to go to Charlie's tonight." (Heh. Charlie's is MY local bar.. 2 blocks away. They NEVER drive 25 miles after work to go to a bar!) I merely said, "Mmm.. That's convenient. Was probably where I was going to end up. Too cold to walk further 🙂" And then he sent, "If you have something else you want to do that's cool too. I don't mind." (SO Libra.. and a total fib. He DOES mind. His twisted little mind imagines every guy in the place buying the cute single girl drinks and trying to take her home.) But I know how to answer this too, to guarantee I'm on his mind. "I feel excited and happy to see you later, but I don't want to keep you from fun w/ your buddies. So I'll get dressed up and let you know later where I end up lol" So 3 hrs of silence later, he sends, "So where did you decide to go?" And I send back, "About ready to walk out the door to go to Charlie's." And he shoots back, "All alone? Or are you meeting someone there?" (TOLD you his mind twists!) And I said, "Now who would I be meeting there, while my honey is at work? :p" And he answers, "No clue. Rose? Sam? No clue." And I answer, "Nope. Leaving now. Taking my phone, but you know my service is crap in Charlie's. Muah." And a couple hours later, I stepped outside to send, "Chuck's is packed. Lose my table if I'm out here too long. Muah!" Guess who probably broke a few speeding laws getting to Charlie's after work, instead of partying locally as usual, and who couldn't keep his eyes or hands off me all night? That's right, Libra. *smile*

To Nefer: Oooohhhhhhhh Smart lady, Nefer ! Good for you. Those libras can be so damned confusing. Sounds like you got yours all figured out. I'm going to try your method on my libra, and see if it makes him pay more attention to me. Any other great tips as to how to get libra in a tissy?

@Nefer - My dear your arrangement sounds almost 100% identical to mine. Mine has a SAG moon (lord what did I get myself into) But a Virgo venus. With that Moon - I really braced myself for a bf that mirrored a transient, or drifter, or something! LOL But all in all he actually fits the domesticated life fairly well. Reading your response makes me think back to how things were when me and my Lib in the beginning of our first year together.

Since that time things calmed down quite a bit - and I guess that's why I get so frustrated when the scales do start to tip. It happens so UN-often, I'm just about down right offended when it hits me side ways! For example - last night we went out to the bar. Totally last minute, spontaneous, had a great time, and PHENOMenal sex after =D I guess I'm spoiled because I'm used to being treated a certain way, and it always baffles me when my Libra takes one of those unexpected selfish turns. It lets me down a bit, because I really view our relationship as a team. The questionable loyalty (when these incidents happen) strikes hard with me because I value loyalty almost more than love. (thank you Cancer Sun, Cappy Rising, ZVirgo Moon and Leo Venus) So I expect my lover to be as loyal and considerate as I am.

Either way - things never even reached a confrontation. It just smoothed by without conflict, as things often do in our relationship. With as much Libra experience as I have - I have learned to truly PICK and CHOOSE my battles. Libras never forget, and they store all sorts of information in their head about the people they care about. If/when you do choose to argue with one, suddenly all of the 'bad' things are there and ready to ZING your a $ $ right when you least expect it! And Libras attack CHARACTER when arguing, and I am a total wuss for that.

Anyway - I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your experience. It really takes a special kinda of person to handle these charming little Libras! ;]

He wants you as his momma.. unconditional love.
Perhaps you need to point it out to him, else he will never know how you feel.
But be gentle about your expectation of fairness.

Ah yes. THIS my dear is a whole other convo. I def fill the role of his mother at times. His mother wasn't attentive at all, so I find that the whole 'nurturing' aspect of my Cancerian ways are definitely put to work here. Thank god it's not too much. Being that he pretty much raised himself, he's pretty independent. I enjoy doing little things for him. So it works out well. But boy do I go bat $ #it when the things swing the other way!

He knows how I feel about it. I usually win this fight. I have learned to vent most of my emotion in a dif direction (often here) because I can be almost over passionate sometimes =X

Posted by amethyst2002
Gotta love some Libras. Their insanely selfish/inconsiderate side comes out sometimes. The funny thing is that they aren't aware of it until you point it out. Then they're absolutely baffled and had no idea. It's not like it's just a social faux paux you didn't catch when you said/did something, but just common sense/consideration shit. I think that SOME just get so caught up in their thing they don't bother thinking about what it's doing to others.

Them- "Wow, this sounds fun! I'm gonna go do this and forget/unintentionally be rude/whatever toward you in the process!"

You- "Uh, hello?"

Them- "What?"

You - "..."

Yes, this is an ARIES saying this, but I don't do this type of shit to people. I try to be considerate and think about how stuff is going to affect those around me. SO many Libras I know do this type of stuff, though. I think that they just get thinking on one track and are so caught up in it they don't realize what it's doing to others in the process.

Have you talked to him about this? Bring it up in a non-confrontational manner and let him know. He may not even be aware that it's bugging you. Once he knows, he SHOULD try to remedy the situation.

thats sad but very true b/c ive been there, ive been told that im selfish and controlling and it took time to recognize it


thats why we get the descripitions about having reltionships as mirrors we operate from the outside in, taking in what we see in others to base ourself rather then doing what aries do and looking inside for the core of ourselves and projecting it.

sucha_d0ll,

I get you.

My ex Libra and me was suppose to go partying it up for Halloween together. Then, he makes excuses that he was sick. It was 4 days before Halloween and Im pretty sure you can get well from common cold by then. He was like "piss off" and hung up like a baby he is.

Then on sunday morning at 6:30am he texted me and said "hey my dear, how was your night?" He was obviously partying all night and drunk. I told him to "piss off" and he texted me back. "Sure, off I shall piss" Then he called me ten times in the evening (obviously lonely) after his partying. I didnt pick it up. Im tired of being his fall back girl. He said he is tired of my emotional blackmail? the idiot doesnt even know when he is being utterly rude.

Posted by taurus/gemBabe
sucha_d0ll,

I get you.

My ex Libra and me was suppose to go partying it up for Halloween together. Then, he makes excuses that he was sick. It was 4 days before Halloween and Im pretty sure you can get well from common cold by then. He was like "piss off" and hung up like a baby he is.

Then on sunday morning at 6:30am he texted me and said "hey my dear, how was your night?" He was obviously partying all night and drunk. I told him to "piss off" and he texted me back. "Sure, off I shall piss" Then he called me ten times in the evening (obviously lonely) after his partying. I didnt pick it up. Im tired of being his fall back girl. He said he is tired of my emotional blackmail? the idiot doesnt even know when he is being utterly rude.

Ah yes. Sounds to me that he felt a bit guilty, and hit you up just to check and see if you were mad. Seeing that you were mad, he commenced in calling you off the hook. But of course for good Libra reason! He simply MUST make sure that not only are you not mad - you're also not talking bad about him.

Usually, Libra's are ex-collectors. They never let an ex go. The typical Libra remark in regards to this? "We ended the relationship but that doesn't mean we can't still be friends!" I would be so unavailable to that guy - he would be checking the obituaries! Libras tend to keep everyone 'tethered' to them. It's the constant need for reassurance that they are loved, liked, and sought after.