This Libra is giving me a major headache.

My Libra ex and I have 2 children together. We didn't speak for 3 or 4 months. Not one word. We have children together, but his grandma would pick them up. Our breakup was that bad.

Anyway, he came back a few months later and wanted to work on things. Keep in mind this was his idea. He's a typical Libra male - wishy washy, disappears, avoids sharing his thoughts.

We text all day. I'd say that he sends me at least 200 texts a day. We also email and talk on the phone. The problem is that he never wants to spend time with me. He goes through phases where he is clingy and wants to do everything together...then all of a sudden, he backs off and literally only comes over for a few hours, once a week. And he lives right by me, so location isn't the issue.

Despite the fact that he never comes over, we talk all day. If I ignore his texts and go do something else, he seems to get his feelings hurt and always wants to know what I'm doing. I'm at the point where I just can't handle it anymore and feel like I'm getting played. I told him that he can either start seeing me on a regular basis or go away. I explained that it hurts me and he can no longer be part of my life if he doesn't stop.

He panicked and said he doesn't want to not be in my life and that he cares about me...blah blah blah. This was a week ago. Did anything change during that time? No. We had the same talk again today, and he got upset and was like, "I told you, I'm trying!" (to spend more time with me).

How hard is it to come over for more than 2 or 3 hours a week? He has time to go out every other night with his friends. It's not like he's just terribly busy. He's choosing, for whatever reason, to never come over.

I told him that if he doesn't really want to get back together, he doesn't have to pretend like he cares. He got really mad and said that if he didn't care, he wouldn't be talking to me all day, every day. Then he said that he cares less about me than he used to. I was like, "Okay, then why did you want to fix things? It was your idea". He was like, "Because I know I will care the same way again in the future". Really? How do you know that?

He always says stuff like that. Then he'll act like everything is fine. Today he said that I push him away by arguing with him and nagging him. I have noticed that he backs off and avoids me when we fight, but it's hard not to get angry when you feel like somebody is constantly playing mind games.

I ran out of space. I guess what I want to know is, what's his deal? Is this going to go on forever? Does he actually care, or is he just stringing me along? I get so confused because he'll sit there and tell me how he knows we will go back out one day (we're just working on things now) and buy a house and all that good stuff. If he wants to do all that one day with me, why aren't we going out NOW and why does he never come over? This just makes no sense to me.

As I mentioned earlier, he gets incredibly upset if I tell him that I don't think he really cares or wants to fix things. He insists that he does and constantly says he wouldn't talk to me at all now if he didn't think we'd really go back out. I just have a headache. I love him, but I'm almost ready to move on. I can't take much more of this waiting game.

Simply put...he's immature. Honestly, the only thing that is keeping him around is the kids. I don't know the particulars, but he seems to be swinging back and forth between his freedom and the kids. The only thing I can tell you is to move on and just look at him as the father of your kids and nothing more. Maybe by you moving on, he'll finally wake up and grow a pair. Just my opinion.

What an asshole.

He has no idea what he wants, so he's dragging you around while he figures it out. He may think he knows what he wants, but the wishy washy crap is a give away that he thinks his feeble attempts are adequate enough and you should throw him a parade for such minimal effort.

He considers you and your time negotiable. If something else better comes up (example being hanging out with friends), then they get priority and you get that 2-3 hours a week.

The other times he suddenly wants to drop everything = he has nothing else going on and now he can magically find time. Texting you all day? Who cares. That's the easy way to communicate.

What I'm seeing is "if it's easy enough and convenient for me, then I'll put forth effort. If not, then I'd rather do something else."

He's being a selfish prick by making you go through all this and wait on him. He has you in place as a shoe in while he still goes around and fucks around like he's single.

Libra or not, this is total bullshit. I'd kick his ass to the curb too. All he's doing is stringing you along.

Thanks for the comments, guys. I figured he was just stringing me along, even if he's doing it unintentionally. I do believe that he really cares about me, but that doesn't mean he will ever be ready for a relationship again. His mom, who he is unusually close to, is part of the reason we broke up. She always tells him he's too young to settle down and puts a lot of pressure on him to go out and party. I feel like he's trying to find a way to please both of us (me and his mom), and it's just not possible. I don't have time to sit around and wait while he goes out and does all the stuff that she claims he's missing out on. I do think grandma needs to drop the kids off again - otherwise he'll find a way to weasel his way back into my heart. He always does, and it's destroying me. I can no longer put myself in this position.

Posted by GeminiGal
I told him that he can either start seeing me on a regular basis or go away. I explained that it hurts me and he can no longer be part of my life if he doesn't stop.

He panicked and said he doesn't want to not be in my life and that he cares about me...blah blah blah. This was a week ago. Did anything change during that time? No. We had the same talk again today

You issued him with a ultimatum, he didn't carry through, now you're still talking to him about it, why? there is nothing to talk about - an ultimatum means when he fails you follow through on your statement. Never mind his actions, look at your own. If you don't follow through he will not believe anything you say to him.

Stop texting and emailing with him too - if he wants you he needs to arrange a time to see you, texting or calling to confirm or set it up only, which should take no more than 1 or 2 texts/calls. You are showing him how to treat you by the way you are allowing him to treat you.

Posted by celticlioness

Posted by GeminiGal
I told him that he can either start seeing me on a regular basis or go away. I explained that it hurts me and he can no longer be part of my life if he doesn't stop.

He panicked and said he doesn't want to not be in my life and that he cares about me...blah blah blah. This was a week ago. Did anything change during that time? No. We had the same talk again today

You issued him with a ultimatum, he didn't carry through, now you're still talking to him about it, why? there is nothing to talk about - an ultimatum means when he fails you follow through on your statement. Never mind his actions, look at your own. If you don't follow through he will not believe anything you say to him.

Stop texting and emailing with him too - if he wants you he needs to arrange a time to see you, texting or calling to confirm or set it up only, which should take no more than 1 or 2 texts/calls. You are showing him how to treat you by the way you are allowing him to treat you.

click to expand

This.