Those extra heartbeats...

I have been thinking about those for quite sometime and decided I should try to share with you all whatever I have been thinking so far. Please cross check if the logic makes any sense.

Throughout history, love has been related to those extra heartbeats what one gets when they meet someone. Most people identify themselves in love when they get those beats. All these relationships are accompanies by emotional attachment of various levels and jealousy as well. So in a way, most people enjoy being emotionally attached to their partner and consider themselves in true love only when they are emotionally attached.

Say, into such a smooth relationship something unfortunate comes in. Like some disease or accidents or death or other man/women and takes one of them away or leave them in a miserable condition. What happens then is almost predictable. The other person goes all depressed and lost and it takes so much of time to recover. Also sometimes it creates so much of emotional outburst so that the other person resorts to violent means for his/her emotional satisfaction.
For eg: someone beats up ur gf, u end up chasing the fellow down and beating him up back when you are packed with this emotional attachment.

This kind of relationship always creates unrest or violence when its thrown out of balance.

But on the other hand, when its btween 2 people where there is not much of these extra heartbeats, they seems to be more sensible in terms of facing similar issues. They are together but they are not attached or emotional to a point where their brain fail to work in the most efficient manner at the time of need. Which ultimately contributes to peace.

So which you think is a better choice? A partner which gives u all those extra heartbeats which gives us that intoxicating feeling bcoz of some extra blood being pumped through our veins? or the one cold and semi detached partner who dont react in a blind fashion under the influence of the same extra heartbeats??

Which can be considered love? the one where ur partner went to take revenge for your loss/mistake?? or the one where he/she remained calm and helped you get over it and maintain the peace?

jus wondering...
thanks

are you trying to define between love and infatuation ? Or different stages of relationship ? Intoxicating ? Wow! That's dangerous ! Personally , I believe true love supposed to be peaceful because it's union of two souls - yet along the way , there will be few problems due to personal differences , social and cutural differences , etc but if it's union then compromises , understanding will help overcome , it's like all your body parts must be working together in order for your whole to survive , if one is out of function /broken / rebel then you re in trouble.However ,the major difference here is that you rarely change your arm or your brain (even you want to sometimes !!), you can choose someone else along your journey of discovering and learning about one true love / finding one true soul to be united .
Hopefully that answers the question . 🙂

thelibran, you out of all people (being a libra) should know there are several levels of love. To be "in love" always involves some type of emotional connection hence - longing for, falling for (in this case a lot of men, especially Librans run when they start feeling this way and they aren't ready to be in an emotionally attached relationship). Love "is", you can't control who you really love or fall in love with.

Other decisions one makes from their love for a person, is a logical choice.

Example: Kill/Physically hurt someone because they hurt a loved one (to be honest I could see doing this for my child only) - that would be a personal choice, yes it is derived off of emotion mostly. However, if one thinks about the consequences that follow, they might not take this action. Whichever choice is made doesn't change the love they feel for that person. The way you handle a situation or situations doesn't change the love you have for a person. If this makes any sense.

I understand what you mean QS. But my doubt is that who really taught us what love is what is friendship— the society right? and how society learned it?? basic symptoms got passed on by older generation. Cant that be a totally wrong idea? kind of wishful thinking to call yourself in love when your brain start to think in certain fashion, your heartbeats increase— What we think love is because of what we were taught to think. More like how parents teach us what God is. So many confusing set of theories without any clear basis. And newer generation follows it blindly and end result has always been the same - trouble. So isnt it possible that the entire man kind is being misled??

Hmmm, thelibran. That could very well be true, but do you actually beleive that you can control the desire of wanting to be with a person and intertwine your life activities (some not all, I am a believer in space and private time)- which is deeper than the physical desire or attraction? Physical desires and attractions = lust to me. Mental and just accepting and loving/appreciating a person as they are (faults included) = love to me.

So, are you saying that our mines are conditioned to make our hearts and souls feel these things? Do you think love can exist from a logical point of view only? You could be right on some level. This is a very interesting topic. Intriguing even. Hmmm ::: scorp brain ponders:::

well i dont think there is any soul or mind in the first place. Just brain. Various functionalities of brain has been named as mind and heart and so on. When a human being says he is thinking, it purely means he is logically analyzing and having a memory pattern matching. Its more of a constrained way of using our brains. We probably might be using only a minor percentage of this 1 billion neurons inside our head for such a thinking. We have all those theories and ideas in our memory which gets used in a particular fashion for that decision making factor. But if we try to utilize the actual processing power of our brain without ordering anything or constraining anything, then you can almost do magic. whatever you think was impossible becomes quite a normal thing.

back to love. How was our first love? how did we got to know we were in love? others told us right? Who was our first friend? how we got to know he/she should be called a friend and not a lover? from our society. thats weird right?

Heres a thought. Expression of love. I did mention that our actions don't always determine our love for our object of affection. So, thinking about this, I realized something. How does a person really know when someone loves them? There is some controversy and contridiction in these beliefs now that I look further (agreeing with thelibran).

I for example: Associate an individual's love for me according to his deed/actions rather than his words. However, according to who's action? If a person isn't acting as if they love you (from your point of view) does it mean they really don't or is it just a way in which you as a person think they should love you? What about the other person? Maybe the other person thinks their actions do include their love for you and it is a matter of different perceptions of love? Hence, divorce rates, relationship break ups... Something to consider.

I find, I myself have been a victum of this exact analogy. If "I" don't feel a person loves me according to their action. I don't think they truly love me, never really considering what their view is. Wow. Wow.

dont like my description " the union of souls " ? Weird ...but I can feel that with my best friend ...kind of deep psychic connection that neither of us needs to speak because what one the other is going to say...Unfortunately , She and I arent lesbians ! ..Hopefully , I'll find a man I can connect to that level...

***kind of deep psychic connection that neither of us needs to speak because what one the other is going to say...Unfortunately , She and I arent lesbians ! ..Hopefully , I'll find a man I can connect to that level...***

I definitely have had this exact connection with male and female friends. Even ex lovers... Maybe it is a scorp thing LOL!! Some happened to have been librans...

exam, same here. They (and I) just KNOW.

I being a thinker ( not necessarily intelligent 😉 ) would like to think that there is no heart and only mind. But I found some things to be beyond reasons?sometimes we just ?feel? something that we can't explain.

Love also, in my humble opinion is not taught to us by society but rather felt. It's funny though sometimes the gauge of love is through pain.

One night I wasn't aware I was in love until I got so hurt by HIM, I was about ready to go to sleep.. I dressed up and went out with my friends, played real loud music and drove so fast didn't care about tickets?I realized I was in love..also realized.. I get a bit more sensitive to him with even just small stuff..I would normally ignore it from other people?not to mention tears?if I could count every tear drop that's how much I love him.lol. Sometimes I don't know if I am in love or just wanting love?so I try to meet other people and see if I can forget him?but man after man I meet didn't interest me and have all reasons why I could love these other people?but I still love him?it's not in my mind..cause he is not perfect, but he is mine and he is in my heart.

It's nice to get those extra heartbeats, but also to find peace and comfort with that particular someone, if these things can intertwine?that would create magic.

There are all kinds of FEELINGS. And, boy, can they throw us off course!

"Some happened to have been librans..."
I dont really feel that with my ex but he think he can read my mind ! He loved to play that game with me , reading my of one another !He even asked "have you found your soulmate ? " and I replied " No , not yet!" Guess that hurted him because he went silently with a gloomy face while I was still playing PC game 😛

I think what Libran is asking is that between the two "schools of thought" regarding true love; the first being the romantic, idealistic, emotional submersion (when someone else makes your heart race and your stomach turn just looking at you or touching you) and being grounded with the thought of emotional devotion and the second being two people whom are on the same intillectual level and are able to easily work through problems and have the same perspective on situations so that the focus is more on being able to work together and act and react to situations that come up in a relationship cooly and logically and being grounded by more of a rational understanding which is "colder" than emotional attatchment.

Honestly, my answer is both. But you usually get one or the other from a partner. Everyone has been in a relationship they got into because the other person balanced them and respected they way they viewed things and there was a basic intillectual understanding strong enough to override the fact that they just didn't have a primal and emotional attraction to them. And vise versa, where they were with someone whom they couldn't help but desire and feel for but had a hard time getting along or being rational in day to day matters.

I think you have found the right person when you get the best of both worlds. You have to have the rational easy flow for it too last and to feel secure, you have to have the uncontrollable desires and emotions to not feel like your missing out on something and begin to desire those things from someone else.

You have to have both. Someone that can balance and unbalance you ironically.

"exam, same here. They (and I) just KNOW."

You mean a Libra , Atom ? For me , my best friend is a Gemini . She and I have so much in common and we are too talkative - 5 hours on the phone and it's international call ! 😛

* mind*
I hate my keyboard !!

"But I found some things to be beyond reasons?sometimes we just ?feel? something that we can't explain.

Love also, in my humble opinion is not taught to us by society but rather felt. It's funny though sometimes the gauge of love is through pain."

Well isnt the pain itself a contradiction to love? Suppose if you got to know your partner well and he also know you well(with sufficient time, atmosphere and so so), then both wont allow any kind of pain to surface. So if one partner is in pain obviously mean the other person fail to act accordingly. Things are not in balance there. Now you know all these things because of the society around you. There are things I want in life. I want to have the best money can buy. But I am quite aware that it doesnt make me any happier than I could be without any of those. Most times a hot looking babe gives me all those symptoms of love as has been taught to me by society. But then an ordinary looking girl understands me far beyond anyone. So was it purely some sort of wishful thinking which triggered the initial process of feelings and heartbeats?

Primitive mens idea of love is where man gets a hard on and then propose to that girl. I even read someplace that the typical love symbol is the back view of a womens butt when she bent over. which is kinda true i must say. lol...

We all love to feed our emotional needs. May be because we never got much of them while we were kids. May be because our parents never really understood our actual needs. Its highly possible that we are trying to achieve what we were deprived off in the childhood. May be humans can in fact live in peace if we take away this idea of love which makes us emotional.

***Most times a hot looking babe gives me all those symptoms of love as has been taught to me by society. But then an ordinary looking girl understands me far beyond anyone. So was it purely some sort of wishful thinking which triggered the initial process of feelings and heartbeats?***

I would call the situation with the "hot babe" a physical attraction or lust maybe.
The ordinary girl more meaningful and have a better chance at love more so than just lust. Looks and appearance attract initially but doesn't gaurantee love.